Help needed! Five month old won't let Daddy settle her.

[Celsie]

I'm posting on behalf of a friend. She's not a BellyBelly member, but asked my advice today on how to settle her five month old. I didn't have the answer, but said I'd ask the wonderful girls on BellyBelly because... they always have the right answers!

Basially, her problem is that her little princess doesn't want Daddy to settle her when Mummy's gone out and poor Mummy arrives home to a very frustrated Daddy and a baby who's sobbing in her sleep.

I remember having the same problem when DS was around six months old, but I can't remember for the life of me what we did to rectify the problem.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Oh, BTW. Little princess is breastfed, but will have a bottle of EBM or formula when Mum isn't home (not sure if that makes a difference or not, but just thought I'd mention it).

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

What does the little girl usually do with Daddy? Is it a case of "here's Daddy - that means Mummy has left me!" or does Daddy do more with the baby?

What DH and I did was DH loved wearing DS, so as the sling generally smelt of me and DS was happy. We didn't do much more as DH is not a good Daddy to babies if we're honest. I wasn't allowed for a night out without taking DS with me at 5 months old! And he did come with me and smiled and cooed when he should have been sleeping in his car seat!

Can BOTH parents do bedtime for a bit, then Mummy do some nights and Daddy others, alternate it - but have the other parent back off slowly. Might take a couple of weeks: one week both involved, one week one doing it the other watching, then just Daddy then just Mummy etc?

Comfort/favourite toys work wonders too!

[~Raven~]

I had a similar problem and put it down to DH never doing the bedtime bit so Caleb was out of routine.
What Rosehip said was what we did and it helped. I insisted DH take over if he was still awake after his bed time feed and settle him, or at least attempt to before I did.
I would also ask how much does dad do with bub. ie nappy changes, bathing and general playing. Maybe there isn't as much of a bond because he doesn't do quite as much as he could be. I'm not having a go btw but sometimes the mum ends up doing all this stuff and it's a reason why bub forms such a strong attachment to the main care provider.

[Charlyfrog]

I agree too....if Daddy can do bedtime/naptimes when Mummy is home, then bubby gets to know that Daddy is just as much an expert as mummy at these things Had the same problem with DD#1 and oddly enough, both my girls are now in this weird zone that apparently, daddy can't tuck them in like mummy can all very cute but not very relaxing. So we alternate so they both get mummy but learn that Daddy does it too. Also, alon the same lines as what Rosehip_Fairy brought up re the interaction level between Daddy and bubby......I know it's probably hard if he works alot but maybe for a while, they could focus on him being a huge cuddly type daddy in between bedtimes just to reassure his little munchkin that he is as safe as houses

HTH and btw, you're such a lovely friend