Moving interstate... all opinions needed!

[Indadhanu]

We aren't planning on moving... yet.

However we have talked about it recently, mostly in the context of our 'village'.

Being a lesbian family having a 'village' around us is pretty important, because there are a lot of things that heterosexual parents just never have to contemplate, let alone face.

We don't have that kind of village... or ANY kind of village... here...

Shel's family live kind of close but are virtually non-existant in our lives. My family live 2 hours away, so most of our contact is phone or email anyway...

I'm a member of another group, a lesbian parents group, and they even have their own 'rainbow parents' group. For Jazz there are kids of all ages, known and unknown donors... people who go through what we go through, who share our fears, our discrimination, people who we could sit down with and talk about things that only lesbian parents can understand...

Being a SAHM, I feel like I need a village. I don't even have one person in my area that I could call in an emergency, or even just to go for a walk with me.

But we are settled here. We have family not tooooo far away who would probably be here in an emergency fairly quickly. Shel has had the same job for more than 5 years and she is unskilled so the chances of her finding a new job that pays the same is pretty slim. So I would have to go and work instead...

Sacrifices...

Would you stay an isolated SAHM, close-ish to family but very alone.

Or pick up and move to a new state where you already have a village waiting and ready to embrace you, but be far from family, and have to work instead of being a SAHM...

Why can't there be more lesbian families in Brisbane/Sunshine Coast?!?!?!?

[westy]

Oh Leasha

That's a tough choice to make....i'm not sure what i would do if it was me in your shoes although having already being settled where you are now, with family not to close but not to far, Shel has her work there, you get to be a SAHM (which is great) i'm not sure i would want to up and leave all of that i think firstly i would try and branch out and look into other groups that might not be right on your door step but close enough so you can stay where you are but still have everything that you want ...ykwim?

Goodluck making that descision...i'm sure it will be something that you have put much thought into before making it final.

[Kailani]

If you don't see much of your family as it is, I would consider moving somewhere else less "isolated" - like here in Melboune!

But yeah, as you said there are sacrifices that would have to be made. Will it be a huge issue for you to go back to work?

There's nothing worse than feeling lonely and like you have no one to rely on.

[sleepless in tas]

Hugs Leasha!

The beginning of last year I was a SAHM with no support behind me (bar one close friend). All my family and friends were interstate and it made life so hard. I felt very isolated as well.

I made the choice to move closer to my family and friends and have been here for almost a year now. Its the best decision I ever made.

Goodluck making yours!

[{sarah}]

I would go wherever I feel most supported wherever that may be. I'm lucky to have very supportive family on both sides, very close by but if I didn't have that I'd move to somewhere that I did. A village is so so important for kids & SAHMs IMO.

[Visitor7]

I would go wherever I feel most supported wherever that may be. I'm lucky to have very supportive family on both sides, very close by but if I didn't have that I'd move to somewhere that I did. A village is so so important for kids & SAHMs IMO.

:yeahthat: I can't agree more.

If I didn't have a village, I'd be lost. If DH & I moved south, he'd be earning a lot more money in his trade and we could easily sell our house and buy another. But there would be no village. Our village is here in Cairns. And until that's gone, that's where we stay.

[Malyna]

I would go to where the support was.. where you felt there was a village.. If it is something you need, and if after weighing up all the pros and cons, it is still important then to a village I would head!!

[cindyb]

I have done the move interstate to be closer to my village and couldnt be happier. I now have fantastic friends (my family are pretty useless to me) who are my back bone nice and close to me!

Its a big decision but you know what - if you dont like it when you move - you can always go back!

DD#1 was 6 months old when we made the move from gold coast to melb and we were determined to give it 12 months before we made a decision of where to stay and while i miss my friends on the coast sooo much, they just werent in the same place as me with their lives....

[Inanna]

I am reading a book at the moment and one of the lines goes something like this: If you don't have a feeling of butterflies in your belly or nervous apprehension you are staying too safe... Now, what that is saying to me is that sometimes we have to go to the edge and jump. Change is realy really scary but staying the same can be scary too.

My motto is: nothing ventured nothing gained. Go where your heart is telling you to go. That may be here or it may be there. Really listen to your heart song - it is NEVER wrong...

[alioops]

Hun, if most of your network is one place then go to your network!!! BB is one of the biggest villages I have up here and the girls I have met IRL have been life savers. I would be even more nuts without them!!

Is there a zoo where you are looking at going to that would see Shel's experience and long service as a very useful backup? Does she have someone who would give her a glowing reference? Having a history like hers in her workplace can really work for her if she wants to do the same thing.

All the best with your decision hun. If you do decide to go, you know there are a few of us around here who have done it with small children that can give you some keys to helping it go smoothly.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

We are doing this, sort of.
We aren't moving to 'our village' however i have been told that tiny town will become our 'village' no worries.
We are moving away from friends and nearer to family so i can gain more support, because it is right for us.
Like Shel, we are both unskilled so finding a job will be tough, but we need this. It isn't a matter of choice anymore, we both need it.
And you will make things work, no job or not, less money or not. Do what you feel is right Leash.

[misty]

I would be inclined to want to move. But I wouldn't just up and do it. Rather I would have my partner start some serious job hunting in the area you wish to move to - and try and secure a new job before giving up the old one.

The other option is looking into starting up your own community where you live. put some flyers out there and try and see if there is anyone else in your situation who also feels like they would like support or are willing to help support others.

[Kitt3n]

one of the most wonderful village areas is Newtown in sydney - anything goes, everyone is welcome, and there is so much to do.

Or the blue mountains - i loved living in katoomba, to me having come from the burbs it was like newtown meets bush/country town..........

You have to do what feels right babe- you can always take a chance, if it doenst work out, go back - at least you wont be sitting around later on thinking "what if we had given it a shot?"