Leaving children home alone, what's the legal age?

[casscart]

Hello everyone :0)

I was just wondering what the legal age is to leave children home alone?

My MIL is being really nasty at the moment saying I'm so NEGATIVE because I told her the other day I refuse to leave my 11yr old stepson home alone. He doesn't know our home phone number off by heart or our address, we also live rural, and if there is a black out here the water shuts off (the pumps don't work without power) and phone doesn't work. His here on holidays and doesn't really know the area very well.

The story is MIL dropped him off here Friday morning as his staying with her. She said she needed to go out and do some things and he doesn't like shopping. I told her it was bad timing because I was getting ready to do my food shopping ( she knows I always do my food shopping Fridays, and its the only day I can really do it). She turned around and said don't worry you can still do it, just leave him here, he doesn't like going out. I said to her I feel uncomfortable doing that and couldn't leave him alone. She said his mum lets him so I shouldn't have a problem with it. I told her how I felt and also said I couldn't live with myself if something happened to him. She just said its fine and she needs to go and get her things done and just walked out.

She can be such a bitter old witch when I have an opinion, I couldn't do my shopping until late that day when she got home. That evening she told DH I was a negative person. Do you think I'm Negative or did I do the right thing?

Thanks for reading :0)

[Lisa]

I don't know if there is a legal age, and if there is I have no idea what it is.
I used to leave my kids, aged 11 & 9 at the time, alone whilst I went to the shop... but it was only ever to grab something quick and not to do my shopping.
My daughter is now 11 and I wouldn't leave her home alone for more than 1/2hr. She knows all our information and phone numbers off by heart, she is also very responsible for her age.
I do however leave my 14yr old home alone when he wants to. He has been doing this since he was close to 13.

[briggsy's girl]

i think it's VERY dependent on the child - as a 12year old, i was looking after other peoples kidlets at least once a week - but i was a very mature 12 year old!

your stepson doesn't sound at all mature enough to handle being on his own - esp in YOUR home which isn't his primary home! you obviously are aware of what the issues are with him staying at your home, and it is up to YOU to decide whether ANYONE is left alone in your home

your MIL sounds like she was trying to manipulate your DH into making you feel bad about standing up to her - stuff her! she did the wrong thing and needs to be pulled up on it! you're not at all negative - you're realistic about your living situation - you're MIL just needs to learn that not everyone does things the same - each family, each home, each individual - is different!

[diannescruffy]

I don't know the legal age either but I leave DS13 home alone, he is very responsible and I always have my mobile with me so he can call and I'd be straight home again.

Regards,
Dianne

[westy]

I don't think there is a legal age, and i think each child is differnet anyway. I wouldn't leave my boys at home alone at all until i felt they where mature enough and responsible enough to leave unattended, even if it was for half an hour...i guess each child is different though so for example if my eldest child was 13 and i left him at home wouldnt mean i would leave my younger child at home when he was 13 unless i had the confidence that he is mature enough to be left...ykwim?

[myson]

i think you were completely in the right matey.

while at his age yes, some kids are ready to be left alone, the thing is he was not in his own home, or his own environment, and he was under your care so its your choice. its not negative.... its responsible.

dont know anything about legal stuff, but i am only just recently leaving my kids home and thats just to run over next door to my mums place for 5 mins. my kids are 11 and 8. but next door for us is 2 kms away.

[christy]

I wouldn't have anyone elses child stay alone in my house unless they were much older! I don't know with my own children as they aren't near those ages yet, but I don't think I would be happy with it. Sounds like MIL is a bit selfish.

[ss_storm]

I'm not sure if there is a legal age or not, but I know I wouldn't leave my kids home alone unless I was comfortable about it, and knew that they were responsible enough to look after themselves without supervision, or if there was an emergency/crisis. I'd be guessing not until they are 13 or 14 or so, depending on the child.

I don't think you were being negative about it!! I think it was a responsible decision, considering you mentioned he doesn't know the area very well (therefore probably doesn't know the people in the area very well) or the address/phone number. I definitely don't think your MIL should have said that to you, after all it's about what you are comfortable with, and can you handle the consequences of those decisions.

[echidna]

I started babysitting at 12, but the kids I was minding lived in the flat above their parents shop. So I wasn't completely alone with them.

My parents left us alone for short periods from about the age of 11. I remember when Dad had to start work really early, we were to go next door to stay there until it was time for school. Mum had gone away for training. When we were old enough to be left alone for no more than a couple of hours, Grandma's was really close, we had the neighbours and we knew where the police station was.

It depends on the children. But I agree, I wouldn't leave anyone under 14 on their own in another person's house. When they know the lay of the land, where to go for help in an emergency, and know the phone numbers and address, then for shorter periods it can be fine.

[Salsa]

I just googled it as Im sure in NZ its 14yrs, but seems there is no legal age here, which is a bit of a shock to me!
Here is something I got off another site...

[QUOTE] What does the law say in Australia?

There is no actual law that states at what age children can or cannot be left alone, but the law is clear about the responsibility of parents to look after their children.

In many cultures it is usual for children to care for brothers and sisters.

While different societies have different customs, in Australia there is a legal obligation for parents to make sure that their children are properly looked after.

Parents are expected to provide food, clothing, a place to live, safety and supervision.

Parents can be charged with an offence if children are left in a dangerous situation and are not fed, clothed or provided with accommodation (in South Australia this is part of the Criminal Law Consolidation Act).

The police or Children, Youth and Family Services (part of the Department of Health in South Australia) can remove children from situations where their safety is in serious danger and there is no guardian present (Children's Protection Act, South Australia).[\QUOTE]

So you could leave him, but i think your totally right to choose not to.

[casscart]

Thanks for your time guys, also just wanted to mention that town is at least 20 mins away and thats on 100k roads as well. Thats also why I was uncomfotable leaving him here by himself, if he was to ring us and we needed to get home fast it would still take us time to get home.

[*Efjay*]

I wouldn't leve him & if I found out that the step mother of my child did I would be ****ed off. I think you did the right thing.
Anyway I don't understand why she brought him to you to do her shopping if she jsut said to leave him home while you did your's. If she was ok with doing that, why didn't she just leave him at her house?

[Deejoy17]

My step sons are 14 and 15 years, whilst under DH`s and my care they are not left alone in the house (this is our ruling and at times they don`t like it), if I have to go out and DH isn`t with me, they go down to DH (we own a farm) or they come with me, if they do happen to go down to DH, I give him a call to let him know they are coming down to him.

[echidna]

Cass, because of the distance, I wouldn't leave him home at all. I wouldn't want anyone there without some way of getting to town or to another property. I'd tell your MIL and also his mother that in your house, nobody gets left home alone, in case an emergency arises.

[~clover~]

At 11 I was getting up in the mornings, getting my brother, sister & myself ready for school & walking them there then to the baby sitters. Mum & dad left for work by 6.30am.

At 13 I was home alone with my sister & often my brother as well every day. All day while mum &dad worked. We did our schooling through distance education then, so I do mean ALL day. With no way of contacting mum & dad if needed.
I was a responsible kid, but that only gets you so far. I got sick of mum upping me every night for something & took my 7 year old sister & ran away. We tried hitch hiking. Not a vry smart thing to do.

My answer is no. My dad & sister left DD1 home alone with her 11 & 12 year old cousins for about 30 - 40 miutes & I wasn't impressed when I found out.

It does all depend on the child & situation, but in your instance I think you were right. Its not up to your MIL. If she didn't care why bring him to you? If she's so sure he can handle i why didn't she leave him at her place alone??

[casscart]

I do really appreciate everyone taking the time to chat with me today, thanks heaps :0)

My MIL is very good at emotional blackmail, and always wants some sort of control, as much as this may sound nasty, shes becoming a real cow and I think she did it to pee me off. I've only started to speak my mind around her, usually I let her say what ever she wants and I say nothing. I remember that she did mention something about taking him back to her place but she was in a hurry and had to go. Its just all about control with her. Its so sad when your MIL doesn't like you much for no good reason, I know she was really agro when DH told her off for saying what she said about me.

I love having my stepson around me, and I'm sure if something did happen to him being left on his own it would be me in trouble not her, also I wouldn't want anyone to take my children away and say I'm not a fit parent.

[Mumma2three]

Gosh I dont' think you're negative at all! I would have done the same. Especially being 20 mins each way, you'd have to be gone for at least an hour.
I leave DD 10 home for 1/2 hour while I pop to the shop. It is 2 mins away and she usually calls me while Im out!!! (cute). But I wouldn't leave her if I was going any further.
I can't see that being responsible could be taken as negative. MIL's can be soooo frustrating. She's prob annoyed because she came across looking so uncaring!! xo

[casscart]

Gosh I dont' think you're negative at all! I would have done the same. Especially being 20 mins each way, you'd have to be gone for at least an hour.
I leave DD 10 home for 1/2 hour while I pop to the shop. It is 2 mins away and she usually calls me while Im out!!! (cute). But I wouldn't leave her if I was going any further.
I can't see that being responsible could be taken as negative. MIL's can be soooo frustrating. She's prob annoyed because she came across looking so uncaring!! xo

Thanks for understanding. I feel so much better with myself now that I have had everyones opinions on this, so glad I posted my concern. MIL is still being very nasty to me. I did say in a kind manner that I wouldn't interfer or say anything if she had left him home at her place. But she did put me in a situation that I was really uncomfortable with. I'm sure his mum leaves him home alone due to the fact he knows his neighbours and they do live in suburbia where its busy, also he knows his surroundings.