Is she just not ready to TT or just being stubborn?

[hannahfroodoo]

Help! We've been trying to TT our 2.5 year old DD for about a month with zero success - and I mean zero.

Sorry this is very long!!

I thought she must be ready because she will clutch the front of her nappy and say 'I do weewees in my nappy' whenever she is doing a wee. She is always wakes up dry from her afternoon sleep and she started to show an interest in using the toilet when she saw her cousins etc using it. If I say 'where do weewees go?' she responds with an enthusiastic 'In the toilet!' or 'where do you go if you need to do weewees?' she shouts 'to the toilet!'

So we put her in undies and gave it a go. I've had a kitchen timer especially for her - set to go off every hour and then when that wasn't working, have tried every half hour. When it rings,I take her to sit on the toilet. She thinks it's fun to go and sit on the loo - she's definitely not scared but she just will NOT wee on the toilet (or poo for that matter).

We've done sticker charts, offered pretty Dora or princess undies if she wees on the toilet. Offered M&Ms if she does it, told her she'll get to go to grandma's house (which she loves) if she does it. We've talked about how she can be just like lots of her favourite people who wee on the toilet.

here's the clincher - she can hold it in for HOURS. She gets up about 7am and I put her in undies and she doesn't wee until about 11am or 12pm. She can drink 3x200ml of fluid and she just HOLDS it.so she can go the whole day and only wee twice even though she's drinking plenty of water. Sometimes she'll say she has weewees in her undies and there'll be a tiny damp spot on the front of her undies where she's obviously started to wee and stopped herself. So I'll sit her on the loo - nothing. She'll continue to hold it for another hour. She starts to get really cranky when she's been holding it in for a while and then when she finally wees (all over the floor) she'll be happy again. She will hop off the toilet and wee all over the floor 2 minutes later.

So my question is - am I just pushing it too much? Should I just give it a rest for a while, stick her back in nappies and wait? It seems to me that she is 'ready' physiologically but is just being stubborn about it.

Any suggestions or experience here would be greatly appreciated. I'm going crazy!

[Thecla]

Hi hannahfroodoo

I wouldn't put her back in nappies, she does sound physically ready so it's just a matter of her deciding to do wees on the toilet. I do agree that she's being "stubborn" but that's not a negative thing for kids, IMO! LOL I have a couple of strong-willed children so I know what you're going through! Basically it means she doesn't want to do what you're trying to get her to do - she'd rather be the one driving the train, so to speak. So perhaps stop making a big deal out of it, just put her in knickers every day and have the potty/toilet available to her at all times, and I personally would stop even talking about her going to the toilet. I'd be sure to tell her when I'm going (eg "Honey I'm just going to the toilet, I need to do a wee so I'm going to put my wees in the toilet - wanna come with me?" and then don't make any suggestion to her about her doing it. You know how some kids will not eat their food but they'll eat it off mum or dad's plate? Same deal here - I think she probably just wants to be the one who decides what she's going to do.

Good luck! It can turn into a battle-ground and if it does, then nobody benefits. She obviously has the capability to hold her wees in, and she understands wees go in the toilet, so it's just a matter of letting her take the next step by herself. She sounds like an independent little darling!

If you are worried about UTI's though, perhaps just get some cranberry juice and make it part of her daily diet. Can't hurt!

[Thecla]

oh P.S. I just have to tell you - I love your daughter's names!! They are all so beautiful!