Time-out advice needed

[mykids]

I am looking for some advice about time out. My DS is 20mths old and he is being a bit naughty which is expected. I just have a few questions about and I do realise that people will have different opinons on this one but I guess I am looking to hear from other mums what had worked for them and what didnt.
Are there any good websites with helpful info on this sort of thing?

Specifically I was wondering the following;
1. Are you suppose to give a warning first and then if they do it again then put them in time-out or whould they be put in their straight away?
2. Should you use time-out when they are having a tantrum or just let them have a tantrum?
3. Can time out work when you are out or is there a better method?

Thanks

[krisp]

I always give a warning first and only do time out for naughty behaviour. My DS has a thing about throwing things, spitting and yelling "NO", when he doesn't want to do things at the moment. We have put the "naughty chair" into action, but to be honest I don't know that it's working.
Just remember the key however you do it is consistency.

[krysalyss]

There are a few similar threads at the moment but I believe that time out is only effective if it is a direct consequence of their actions (eg. necc for safety) but if it is for something unrelated (eg. throwing something) then you should follow up with something related to that action (eg. help to pick it up, removal of thrown thing etc.) so they related what they are doing with what follows. It helps them to establish logic and learn to think for themselves rather than something just being a parents rule with no real reason. At 20 months you can also explain to them why you aren't happy. I use single words eg. safety, dangerous, fragile.

I wouldnt use time out for tantrums because tantrums are a toddlers way of dealing with the overwhelming frustration of wanting to do something, not being able to communicate properly and having little power to do things themselves (that is why tantrums come out more when they get tired). The best thing to do for tantrums is just show them love that they will accept (cuddles, pats or just sitting within view if that is all they will allow) and waiting it out. Lots of cuddles once it is over.

Again I wouldnt use time outs out and about because time outs can seem to the child that a rejection of them rather than just their behaviour and this would be magnified by being out of their usual home environment.
Hope this helps. \'0

[krysalyss]

double post