Blah... people

[Mrs.B]

Hi ladies,
I've just been going thru a lot lately and wanted to talk to people I know would understand and could relate... you guys!!!
I haven't been on here in a while so to give you some background.. I had a m/c Nov 07, it was awful.. no d&c, I had to see everything. I was severely depressed and on anti-depressants and didn't actually start to feel like myself again until we started ttc again and have been for 5 months now
So Hubby and I moved out of state and are living with my sis and bil for about 3 mnths now. GULP. She is 8 months pg and im just having a hard time dealing with it all. Watching her drink soda and coffee on a daily basis, never drinking juice or water, hardly eats healthy, taking long baths... idk about u but that ****es me off. I took good care of myself and watching her not care upsets me. A few days ago I told her I wasn't feeling well and she immediately asked "You're not pregnant yet are you?" Is it the NOT or the YET that ****ed me off more? Tell me am I right to get upset? That isn't any of her business. Maybe she thinks im too young or something but i'm 22, i'm married, she knows about the m/c and how devastating that was for us. Why would you say something like that?
Help please, give me your advice and what you would do.. thanks for letting me vent!

[Cassius2]

This must be such a hard situation to be in. i found it really hard to be around my friend when she was pg and this was especially the case when it got to the business end; so i can only imagine the mind tousling that must be going on for you living with your sis.

her comments were let's face it, pretty insensitive, and yet, so darn common. before i had our DD we had them coming thick and fast, and you know what? mostly it was from family! That always surprised me. most of my friends were a little more sensitive and gave us the space we needed.

i guess all i can say is that i truly believe that she didnt say it to be mean or cruel, i think that many ppl just dont get it, full stop. even if they may have had a loss themselves. i say, take all the distance you need at this time and maybe treat the next phase of her pg and birth and baby not as a judgement on yourself, but as a 'it will be our turn soon, and man, i can't wait!'. tricky to do i know; have been there, but this helped me a little bit if i went through that mantra when i was with my friend and baby.

there's not alot you can do about the way she is treating this pg. that's the reality and unfortunately, we just have to sit and watch and just pray that the little baby is going to be okay and that once he/she is born that their mumma is going to hit the ground running and enter 'mum' mode. some ppl just dont have that concept until the little bubba is in their arms.

big hugs sweet, . these are just some of my thoughts on how i dealt with fam and friends after our loss and long journey TTC...

[Me+him+bub]

oh you poor thing! im 22 in april and this is my 2nd pregnancy but hopefully my 1st take home baby. its hard being around preg women, as for her comment, you can TTC anytime you like, we started 2 weeks after my D and C and fell 9 months later, your body will decide when the time is right. ppl used to tell me i have heaps of time to fall pregnant but once you lost that first one you want it more than ever! do what you feel is right for you and DH, she is just a moody, bitter woman, and just think next time round you will appreciate it more and you will take care of yourself much better after watching her behaviour and how ignorant it is. feel free to PM if you feel like talking