Help - Sleep deprivation advice needed

[joh117]

I am hoping someone can help me see through the fog of sleep deprivation with some ideas

I have a 3.5yr old and a 4month old. We have put black out lining in both bedrooms so both rooms are dark.

This week we moved DS into his own room and into a cot from our room where he slept in a portacot. Now he is still waking through the night for 1 - 2 feeds and settles to sleep straight away. Since moving into his cot he is hitting his head at the end of the cot after a few hours sleep so is waking screaming. He was also getting his arms trapped but this is now solved with an air wrap.

He sleeps in a grobag (I tried the kiddopotumus wrap but like houdini he was out in a matter of minutes with just his legs wrapped and all velcro still in place!).

My next dilema is his sister DS wakes at 5.30 am at the moment after a routine his sister got him into earlier this week (she is now sleeping till 6.30) I leave him in his cot but he makes so much noise he is waking his sister.

I dont know what to do about

1) banging head on cot
2) sister waking DS early
3) DS waking sister early

I go to bed as soon as DS is settled about 9pm last night I was woken at 10.30, 11pm, 2.30am and then up at 5.30. This is the same for the last few nights and me and DH are shattered. We have no family to help us out as we left them all in the UK when we moved here.

My daughter doesnt have a daytime sleep hasnt since she was 2 so I am unable to catch up on any sleep during the day. DS does not sleep much in the day anyway only 2/3 40 mins sleep at the mo.

I am up for any suggestions and sorry if I waffled just so tired and wanting to get the full picture across

Thanks in advance

Jo

Me and DH are snapping at each other as we are so tired and so life isnt fun and games here at the mo. DH wants DS back in our room in his portacot but I am reluctant big sister woke DS in our room just as much. Why is life with kids so hard sometimes? I love them so much but jeez its tough going sometimes

[~Trish~]

It's so hard sometimes isn't it? You really need some good sleep you poor love.

I don't know if I can be much help. I completely understand the frustration of one sibling waking up the other! In the early days with DS2, DS1 decided to start waking up at the crack of dawn, make noise and wake his little brother up. We also bought block out blinds LOL! Luckily that phase passed on it's own.

In regards to your bub hitting his head at the top of the cot, I can only give bad advice . My DS2 would do this too and in the end I used a cot bumper and I would position him at the top of the cot when I put him to bed. I found if I put him at the bottom of the cot (as recommended), he would work his way to the top anyway which would wake him up once he hit his head at the top. Using a bumper and changing his position made a big difference and he stopped waking up because of bumping his head. I feel bad offering that as advice as it goes against the SIDS recommendations!

Waking frequently overnight at 4 months is very common. They get more distracted during feeds during the day and they don't feed as much and are therefore still hungry at night. They seem to feed better and longer at night because there are no distractions. Is it possible for you to feed him in a dark, quiet room during the day? I know this will be hard with a 3.5 year old in the house too.

Also, good day sleep helps achieve good night sleep. Your bub sounds like a 40 minute cat-napper, just like mine were! Babies sleep in cycles (usually 40 minute cycles for some weird reason) and when they reach the end of the first cycle, they don't know how to fall back into a deep sleep. A trick I learned with DS2 was to sneek into his room just before the 40 minute cycle was up. I'd watch him and as soon as he stirred (he used to sigh and move his head), I would pat his tummy. He would then sometimes go back into a deep sleep. This would work on average for one of his three naps a day. I kept persevering and before too long he got the hang of resettling himself.

With DS1, we invested in an Amby baby hammock and would bounce him back off to sleep when he woke from his 40 minute cycle. This worked wonders for him and he eventually worked out how to do it himself too. I highly recommend trying a baby hammock! It changed our lives with DS1. You can hire them if you wanted to try one out.

Both boys ended up becoming excellent sleepers after a lot of persistance.

If you are really struggling, you could try book into a sleep school who can teach you some settling techniques.

Anyway, sorry for the long ramble, I was just trying to think of all the things I tried that worked for me!

I really hope you get some good sleep soon .