Worried about my toddlers rough behaviour

[Emma27]

My little guy seems to be having trouble getting along with kids his own age or younger.

Sometimes he has a great time, playing peacefully in the home corner or paddling pool with other children. At times though, when the other children get too close, he can reach out and grab and almost 'clawl' their faces. This really upsets me as he hurts them by doing this. When we go to a play center or a play date I have to 'shadow' him as he could do this at anytime.

I've been reading Robin Bakers book 'The Mighty Toddler 'and I'm under the impression that this behaviour is not too uncommon in one year olds. I think he is doing this as he is curious and is testing cause and effect. I dont think he is being mean or spiteful on purpose.

My plan at the moment is to keep watching him carefully when he is out. I would rather intervene and stop him before he grabs or hits other children. If he does hurt a child I will take him aside and say "Dont grab her face. It hurts her. Play with the ball instead" and redirect him.

If he then goes on to hurt a child I'll say "Dont grab her face. It hurts her. Now we'll have to go home".

Today I learnt that once he grabs a more then once it indicates that something is up and he needs to be taking to another setting.

Joshua is a sweet, bright and active little boy. I really want him to grow up to be fair and gentle. I dont want him to hurt other children. He comes from a loving family and has a wonderful relationship with my husband, his grandparents and myself.

Will this stage pass if I keep being consistent?

Has anyone else had a toddler whose been on the rough side and then grown into a gentle child?

Do you think limiting his social interaction would help? Or should I keep taking him on play dates so he can learn to socialise?

[Tannis]

My DS went through the same thing at around the same age. Unfortunately he is still a bit rough at times although he has gotten better. He used to hit a girl at day care and any time I heard that he'd done it I'd tell him how sad that made me and how sad it makes "L". Although I couldn't say anything straight away (as I was at work) I'd talk to him about it when he was in the bath, that way I had his full attention and I know he understood what I was talking about and he would get upset and say sorry.
I think you are right it is experimenting with cause and effect and I guess in a way learning his place in the pack so to speak. Being consistent is the key, if you say you have to leave because of his actions, then go through with it....they soon learn empty threats. I'm not sure limiting his interaction is the answer, I would think the more he plays alongside other children the more he will learn how to interact nicely.
Does Joshua talk much? Could you encourage him to use his words if he is frustrated like if another child took his toy or is playing with something he wants etc?

Good Luck, I hope it is a short passing phase!

[Emma27]

Joshua talks a little. I think teaching him to talk to me about his feelings is a good idea.

[loulabelle]

I'm not much help as I don't have a toddler yet but, My nephew was the same and still is to an extent although as he learns to talk more he seems to be getting better.He would claw, push and pinch my DS all the time but has stopped all of a sudden and now wants to play.Hopefully he will just grow out of it soon.I can imagine it would be very upsetting for you though.

p.s my nephew is 2 this month.