Did you feed them to sleep?...stories Please!!!

[beckoes]

I feed DD to sleep 99% of the time, it works for us, and ive heard all the 'you shoudnt do that' comments!
Im really interested to hear stories of others who feed there LOs to sleep and how long you did it for and if and how it changed.
DD is almost 9 months old and for all day sleeps and most nights sleeps she falls asleep on the boob, then i pop her in her cot asleep. i have on occation tried to do it other ways but the end result is an upset baby and feeding to sleep anyway. (Not interested in trying CC or other crying it out methods)
Im 'questioning' the way we do things because she is going through a bit of a 'bad sleep' patch and i find myself questioning the feeding to sleep every time she goes through one of these.
Stories PLEASE!!!

[~kellie~]

We still do it probably 95% of the time for her day nap, and probably 70% of the time for her nights.

This has only just recently changed from being 100% for all naps (apart from if she fell asleep in the car). I didnt do anything to change it, she just kind of grew into it.

Now at night, sometimes when she is finished feeding, she looks up at me, blows a kiss, points to the cot and says 'night night'... so cute! But then other times she is still fed to sleep.

Don't question the way you are doing things, if it feels right to you, then keep doing it! Don't worry about what anyone else says!

[Liz]

So not happy.. just lost my long post I'm usually so good at copying first

Anyway..... this will be shorter coz I'm so not impressed LOL..

DS fed to sleep for probably close to 2 years. We had a natural transition of feeding to sleep, to feeding in bed and staying with him while he fell asleep, and then once he weaned at about 26 months just lying with him until he fell asleep. Then at about 2 1/2 I started trying to leave him awake in bed and went back in a lot praising him for staying in bed and not getting up. Not long after, he was putting himself to sleep and not long after that started sleeping through regularly. We had a similar transition type thing with the co-sleeping. When it felt right, we started putting him to sleep in his own bed and he was still welcome in ours when he woke up, and he eventually started sleeping through.

DD self settled for about 7 months with a dummy & wrap, then progressed to needing rocking to sleep LOL. And still does. I think we're getting ready to start just lying down with her too to get her to sleep.

My advice is to follow their lead, but at the same time guide them if that makes sense. So while DS's going to sleep by himself wasn't necessarily led by him, we both kinda knew it was time to start trying if that made sense. So be reassured that you won't be feeding to sleep forever, things change & progress naturally, with very little resistance in our experience. And I do believe DS is a real success story.. he seriously is SOOOO good at going to bed. He just goes to bed and goes to sleep! You hear of toddlers and older children that keep finding excuses and get up all the time.. nope.. not here! LOL. Not even when we have visitors with kids to play with! He just says goodnight to everyone and co-operates and goes to bed! Only time he fights us is when he's overtired and cranky anyway. But he still doesn't get up haha. I do believe it's my hard work paying off

I had people telling me I was making a rod for my back, but I don't believe our end result is a rod for anyone's back! Plus if you're happy to feed to sleep or do whatever you need to do, then it's no one's business how you do it.. it's not them doing it is it.

Oh and also.. while people were tutting at our 'bad habits' they couldn't help being impressed that I could get DS to sleep absolutely anywhere.. didn't matter who's house we were at or where we were, just had to feed him and within about 15mins he was off. haha.

Enjoy it It definitely won't last forever. Don't doubt yourself, you'll know when to move on to the next stage. You're doing a great job

[Reborn]

I wanted to feed ds til he slept but gave up on that idea because it only worked for 2 mths. Since then he has his whole feed and then sits around waiting to play or put in his cot. I loved the snuggly baby who had just fallen off the booby...... memories

[~Saram~]

I feed both my kids to sleep until about 12 month and then we started using the elizabeth pantly pull off method. If you red her book no cry sleep solution it's in there but basically you just wait until they are almost asleep, pop your finger in to break the suction and take them off, see if they settle, if not put them back on and try again. It takes about 3 wks of consistantly doing it until my kids would go off without boobie but it's a nice gentle way to easing them off.

All the best with it. BTW don't feel you need to stop it unless YOU want to - it's a beautifula dn natural way to go to sleep

[feeb]

We feed to sleep every night and during the day unless we are out and he has a feed is put in pram awake and falls asleep (sometimes feeds to sleep and transfered to pram). Our problem is he cant be transfered to cot asleep in day he naps on my knee which doesnt phase me but i get all the comments of rod for own back etc.

Good luck you are doing a great job

[jackrose]

I always just did what felt right with DD, some of which involved feeding to sleep, most of it was self settling in a hammock though. My DD was always a really great sleeper and always settled to sleep really well. A very lucky mum here .

As time went on I realised I was beginning to feed to sleep as DD often fell asleep during her evening feed. She did not really need this as I mentioned, she self settled well on her own without it, but I really enjoyed watching her blissed out and drifting off to sleep on the boob. I checked some BB threads on the topic and decided that it would be fine as so many women explained that their children weaned themselves off the feed to sleep habit in their own time.

In addition to using the hammock, we co-slept. DD was able to feed whenever she wanted during the night - but that was only really 2-3 times in a 10 hour stretch so no big deal for me.

I ran into an issue at about the 6 month mark though and for me, the feed to sleep/co-sleeping feeding was creating an issue. DD developed a breast/sleep association where she lost the ability to self settle and needed a breast in her mouth to go to/go back to sleep. She began to wake every sleep cycle looking for a breast in her mouth and would cry. When I fed her, she would suck for a few minutes and then fall asleep again or wriggle/feed/wriggle for ages. After a month or two dealing with this she was waking up to every 1/2 hour some nights - so every sleep cycle. I was at my wits end so I had to work at breaking the habit as we were both a mess and miserable. It took a bit of work and some other methods but I have managed to help her relearn to settle herself and she is back to her normal 'good sleeper' self.

FWIW, I am still a big fan of feeding to sleep and co-sleeping and would do it again if that is what my child needed. Every child is so different and not all babies who do what my DD did would end up in the situation I was in. I just hope my experience helps you recognise if it is happening with you as I wish I had figured it our earlier. The period between 6-8 months when I worked out what was happening with us was really really not fun!

All babies seem to go through a 'bad sleep patch' at some stage and there are so many factors that could possibly be behind it. The most important thing though is that you feel comfortable about the path you take.

As for the nay sayers, "you shouldn't do that" and "you are teaching them bad habits", in my opinion the only bad habits you can teach a baby is through not giving them what they need. You really are teaching them that you are not there for them and that they need to 'toughen up' and fight for their own survival on this earth. *Shudder*. How can feeding a baby to sleep show them anything but you are there to meet their needs!


ETA: I just remembered that I did read something once about the physiological benefits for babies when they fall asleep on the breast.... just wish I could remember the details.... anyone??

[~clover~]

I still feed DS at sleep at 14 months.
It can make things difficult with 2 other kids, but rarely.
Sometimes he won't have boob, but 98% of the time he does. The nights he wakes we co sleep, but mostly he's starting to sleep through, so sleeps in his cot.
I put him to sleep on me, or laying in our bed, then he goes into the cot. If he wakes, he comes into our bed, if not he stays in the cot.
Its working out ok for us. He's still sleeping well. Still having 2 sleeps a day (a few are cutting down now & earlier, my girls were down to 1 day sleep).
He's also starting, on rare occasions to finish boob, then roll over & sleep, or he'll even toddle off & fall asleep on the floor.

[Smoke Jaguar]

If it makes you feel any better, I still feed DS to sleep He's going to be 3 in June. He will sleep for others if I'm not there, but if I'm around it has to be ME putting him to sleep and it's definitely with the help of Babu (boob), even though there's not much there at this stage of the pregnancy. So, it's comforting to him still, and the only problem I have is when he wakes overnight wanting more. This is what I'm weaning him from now, though if I don't get much support from DP, then I just give in to keep the house quiet and to get everyone to sleep asap!

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

Doesn't everyone feed their baby to sleep? It really just makes so much sense. When babies suck they release a hormone called CCK (for short) It makes them sleepy. And as they suckle, mums get a burst of the same hormone, making us feel sleepy.
Mums breastfeeding older babies know they have the natural advantage - a few sucks and baby is out for the count. Beats all that rocking, patting and pacing.....

[*charmalea*]

I ran into an issue at about the 6 month mark though and for me, the feed to sleep/co-sleeping feeding was creating an issue. DD developed a breast/sleep association where she lost the ability to self settle and needed a breast in her mouth to go to/go back to sleep. She began to wake every sleep cycle looking for a breast in her mouth and would cry. When I fed her, she would suck for a few minutes and then fall asleep again or wriggle/feed/wriggle for ages. After a month or two dealing with this she was waking up to every 1/2 hour some nights - so every sleep cycle. I was at my wits end so I had to work at breaking the habit as we were both a mess and miserable.

THIS is exactly my DD atm and has been for a loooooong time , i just cant break the cycle !!! its dirving me bonkers !!


BUT i really have not troubles to feeding them to sleep ... dont feel guilty about it .. .

my dd is young and if i dont do what i feel i always think "you'll never get this moment back".. i just give her a massive snuggle while feeding her to sleep .. and the rythmic sounds of her sucking are soothing to me aswell !!!

[mbear]

I remember when i had my first....i used to beat myself up about feeding her to sleep when she was months old. Me and my DH used to worry ourselves sick that we were 'creating a bad habit'. I remember a wise girlfriend said to me, when DD was about 6mths old - 'but if its working for you.....who cares?!!!!'.
So for DD#2, DD#3 and newborn #4 i have and WILL be doing the same - feeding to sleep. It works for us, and at the end of the day, when you shut the front door at night, whom really cares how you get your little person to sleep....

ETA - my DD#3 had a bad sleeping stint around 9-11months too. I had just found out i was pregnant, so i was buggered, i was still breastfeeding, and still getting up once, maybe twice a night to her......it did pass.....and it will for you too. I know that isnt much comfort, but most of us have been there. I remember thinking 'my god, when she is 3yrs old i will still be doing this !!!!!!'. But now, shes pretty content, down at 715pm, up at 7am....no night wakes. So im going to say, its just a phase she is going thru...hang in there....

[beckoes]

Thanks you SO much ladies!!!! i couldnt feel any happier about feeding my DD to sleep after reading all of those posts!! and i just came back from a mothers group where i was laughed at cause my DH has never put our DD to sleep, (obviously he cant BF her ) i was even more upset than yesterday thinking i was not only creating bad sleeping habits for my LO but also a bad relationship between DH and DD
WELL, what do they know!! I just have to have more confidence in myself and the way DH and i have chosen to do things! We are happy, DD is happy, so nothing else should matter!
Thanks again!

[Liz]

Yep.. DH didn't do a lot of sleep stuff for a long time. Now he does tho More than me! There are plenty of ways for dads to bond with their babies.. it's not all about sharing everything. I personally think it's good to have different roles. DS would always be very comfortable with DH even if DH couldn't get him to sleep.. well he could with the pram or a sling. Mothers are naturally the primary carers for those early months/years.. nothing wrong with it at all.

[Jennifer13]

I always fed DD to sleep until she stopped falling asleep. As a toddler she was keen for the story and bedtime routine and stopped falling asleep while bfing. It was a lot quicker to bf her to sleep though!

It's actually really lovely now, occasionally she has come from a no-nap day at preschool and is so tired at bedtime she will fall asleep on the breast again. Makes me snuggle her like when she was a little baby - I miss those moments!

And we NEVER had any problems with her not settling on her own at any stage, in fact, we stopped nap time bfs at least 18 mths ago without a problem.

[rufalina]

I feed to sleep, and I even transitioned from the breast to the bottle, and still feed to sleep. DS was a terrible sleeper, and I knew I could get him to sleep with a full tummy, and a good feed, so I went with it. I say, if it works, then go with it.

[Ozziehoffy]

I BF Oskar to sleep for most of his sleeps until he was 19 months. I only stopped cos it was hurting too much being pg and BFing. I went out one night for dinner with some girls and DH did manage to finally get him to sleep but he woke when I got home (somehow he knew!) and had some boobie and went to sleep again. The first week of no boobie to sleep was a little rough but after he became used to cuddles instead then transitioned to patting (and as Barb said OMG BFing was soooo much quicker...lol) then laying next to him we FINALLY got to him being able to be put into his cot and going to sleep on his own. It's certainly easier to feed and gives you a reason to sit and relax too

[Visitor8]

I do it with Ashton for probably half the time at home. If we are out and about I don't, he always falls asleep in the pram or carrier. For his night sleeps I usually feed him then have snuggles in my bed until he falls asleep at 9pm. The he wakes during the night once for boob and comes into my bed and he probably falls asleep feeding... but I always go straight back to sleep once he is feeding.
I honestly don't see the problem. I would prefer the 10 minutes of feeding to sleep, or sometimes less, then the hour of crying because they want it and your saying no. It is also a comfort thing, why deny them that? I don't do it all the time and he will sleep without it. He goes to his dads every 2nd weekend and he is fine there and obviously he doesn't BF him lol He has a dummy and gets wrapped sometimes too.