Co-sleeping toddler, newborn baby, toddler bed and a new room... uh oh...

[Lolli]

Hi all,

Ok, I need some help here. Ds co-sleeps with us and has done for the last year. He sleeps in his cot quite well during the day, and starts in there at night, then wakes up between midnight and three am to come ans snuggle with us. It's not a problem- dh and I both love it.

But I'm worried it will become a problem with a newborn in the room as well? We won't be co-sleeping with new bub for the first few months (dh sleeps too heavy for that) but their bassinette will be near our bed, like we did with ds. Surely a newborn crying will wake ds up and then I'll have two screaming kids, and most likely, a snoring husband. Obviously I don't want to kick ds out when bubs comes along, so how do I get him into his own bed now?

To compound that drama, eventually ds will have to move into a toddler bed so the new baby can have the cot when it's a few months old. Another thing I probably should do now, but I don't know where to start.

And on top of all that, dh wants to move ds into the back bedroom so the new baby can have his room, which is closest to us. This is one thing I am really tempted to leave till quite a few months after the new baby comes, and see if it happens at all, because I think the new baby will sleep in our room for quite a while, just like ds did.

Sorry for the long post, but this is all stressing me a bit and I haven't had access to the Net for weeks- I've been dieing to post it all. This just seems like way too much for a little kid, all at once.

Do we really need to stop co-sleeping? If so, how do I do that? Should i put him in a toddler bed now, or later? And how do I do that, when sometimes the cot bars are the only thing that keeps him in bed? Is it really unfair to expect him to be able to cope with any of this, let alone changing rooms as well? Ooooh, so confused and feeling guilty for doing all this to my little munchkin, poor kid....

[Willow]

OK, this is what I'd do (keeping in mind I don't co-sleep apart from the first few weeks or so, our babies have always been in a bassinette then to a cot in their own rooms).

When DS wakes at 12-3am I would attempt to resettle him in his own cot - how do you think he'd go with that? It might be tricky for a while, but if you're going to do it, I would start now to save stress on you both when bub arrives. I've experienced co-sleeping with a toddler and a nb in the same room and to be honest, it was 10 days of pure hell for us (we were away from home so sleeping arrangements were pretty restricted). Toddler would wake baby, baby would wake toddler and mummy got very, very little sleep. But that's just our experience, I'm sure others have done it successfully.

I would tend to agree with you and leave him in his own room. We are doing the same with DS even though DH wanted the new baby to have his room and move DS into the spare. No way was I going there.

I think if you're going to get him a toddler bed, then do it all in one swoop - get the toddler bed and start the resettling all at the same time, if you decide that's what you want to do.

The other option is to just leave him in his cot (again, this is what I've decided to do to save the stress on DS) and eventually get the baby a new cot or just wait and see what happens, like you said, bub is likely to be in your room for a while anyway. I'm currently trying to get a second hand cot on ebay for the new bub. DS's cot converts to a toddler bed so he's keeping that and we'll convert it when we think he's ready.

I think the main goal here is to get things in order so that everyone is getting some sleep when bub arrives with as little disruption to DS as possible. It's always tricky trying to make the transition as easy as possible for the toddler but eventually we all get there

[Ginger]

i co-sleep with both my kids. ds1 and i share a queensize bed (dh sleeps in the spare bedroom by himself as he desperately needs a good nights sleep to be able to do his job).
ds2 (newborn) starts the night in a bassinette next to my bed and then ends up in bed with me some time during the night. i sleep between the 2 kids so they don't disrupt each other. so far it has been working- the toddler sleeps deeply enough that he has not been woken by the newborn yet (i have to admit, the newborn is a pretty good sleeper so far though). this is what works for our family atm, not everyone would like it, but we are all happy. ds1 gets cuddles all through the night and sleeps securely, ds2 can breastfeed whenever he wants, dh gets a full nights uninterupted sleep every night and i am happy having both my boys close to me and never having to get out of bed!

[HotI]

I think he is still pretty little to be putting in a toddler bed. If your bub is due Oct, and spends 3 months in the bassinette, that still gives you 8 months before you need the cot. I know you don't want him to feel he is getting kicked out of his cot for the bub, but he might be more ready for it when he is a bit older, and you will be able to explain it better to him then.

take care,

kate

[Lolli]

Thanks everyone Rainforest, I actually just got rid of our spare bed to make way for a new baby room- probably not the best idea, should have kept it for a few months after bubs was born. Oh well.

Kate, I was thinking that, maybe wait until he's a bit older and will understand it's a 'big boy' bed. But then I worry that if he feels a bit out of place, having to take his cot off him might make it worse. But maybe I should cross that bridge when I come to it.

Thanks again. Many a thing to ponder...

[Jennifer13]

Just wanted to add that we changed our DD's cot into a junior bed when she was about 17 mths old with no dramas at all. She was able to come into us when she wanted to and I didn't need to get out of bed to go to her (which was the main reason LOL)! She never fell out once. If DS is used to getting up and down on your big bed he probably won't have a problem with a junior bed. They tend to be lower to the ground anyway.

I would make whatever changes you think might work well before the new baby, so it isn't too much at once for him. GL!