Home truths...the things parenting has made me realise

[Arcadia]

Since becoming a parent (and gee its such early days) I have had to face some pretty confronting aspects of my personality. I have always been pretty stubborn and determined, but since having a baby, I have realised I can be a bit of a control freak, and quite inflexible at times. Obviously I was like this before, but having a tiny baby has put these traits to the test as I have to constantly compromise my needs for hers. My level of frustration also shocks me when I don't understand what is going on (i.e. bub is crying for 'no reason').

Positively though, I am shocked that I can actually love someone as much as I do DD and who knew I would have so much fun singing songs and hanging out on the floor!

All this self-reflection has made me ponder if others have similarly "discovered" things about themselves since having a baby/children.

[catherinemoses]

Great topic!
Becoming a parent has made me have a lot more respect for my own mum! I also tend to be a fairly judgemental person and I have realised (a lot thru BB actually) that people are allowed to have their different views and opinions etc even if I don't agree with them. I feel like have really matured as a person and it is wonderful! I just love being a parent, despite it's challenges!

[kelebek]

My home truths are a few...
We all do the best that we can with the knowledge, options and skills that we have and what works for me may or may not work for another mother.
You never really know what is like for another peson until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

[Lolli]

That I'm not as perfect as I thought I would be, but that's ok.

And not to be so bloody smug and judgemental, now I'm the one being stared at while I'm trying to cope with a screaming, tantruming toddler. I'm nowhere near as harsh on mum's as I used to be- these days, if I see someone screaming at their kids in the middle of a shopping centre, I don't think "I'd never do that", I think "She must be having a really bad day, poor thing" instead.

[Inertia]

Since becoming a parent, I have called my mum a few dozen times to apologise. LMAO.

And yes - I can neither control nor fix everything. Nor is perfect an option anymore. I was a horrible perfectionist before, and while I still am, I am more forgiving to myself and my kids than I would have been 10 years ago.

[Lulu]

Umm, that I'm a bit selfish and impatient...

[kelebek]

Umm, that I'm a bit selfish and impatient...

**puts hand up** have to confess to this one too...

[Lolli]

Umm, that I'm a bit selfish and impatient...

Same... I used to work with kids and everyone would comment on how patient I was with them. I don't know what happened- maybe I used up all my patience- but I am not nearly as patient with one ds as I used to be with a room full of 20 kids running feral on sugar.

[catherinemoses]

That I'm not as perfect as I thought I would be, but that's ok.

And not to be so bloody smug and judgemental, now I'm the one being stared at while I'm trying to cope with a screaming, tantruming toddler. I'm nowhere near as harsh on mum's as I used to be- these days, if I see someone screaming at their kids in the middle of a shopping centre, I don't think "I'd never do that", I think "She must be having a really bad day, poor thing" instead.

LOL I'm the same!!! Such a different perspective now!

[fionas]

TBH, being a mum has been a nice surprise.

I hadn't been around babies before and just believed the hype that they cried all day. Which in DD's case is just not true.

I've actually surprised myself with how patient I've been and how much enjoyment being a mum has given me.

I hope I don't sound smug. I am actually genuinely surprised.

[Dansta]

Being a mum i've fond a love, a bond that is stronger then i ever thought possable, its also made me realise that i what i thought about almost everything can and will be changed by a little person who cant even speak, and that actions really are louder then words.(eg First smile)

[Arcadia]

I used to work with kids and everyone would comment on how patient I was with them. I don't know what happened- maybe I used up all my patience- but I am not nearly as patient with one ds as I used to be with a room full of 20 kids running feral on sugar.

I have started asking DH where I can buy more patience...I honestly thought I had more in my store-room!

[beckoes]

great thread. it made me think, i guess ive learnt to be less nieve, when someone tells me how i should be doing something or that i am wrong, i have to confidence to question them and belive that i am right!
I was surprised that i got frustrated so easily in the early days, but even more surprised that it only happened a few times and i learnt to change so quickly! im proud of myslef for being able to stand there for hours, in the middle of the night, feeling exhusted and angry, fighting the urge to yell ''well sod you then, i have no idea whats wrong'' and walk away from a situation, i have learnt empathy and patience.
I have also learnt that my usuall ''the best form of defence is attack'' responce when it comes to dealing with things with DH is not the way! And that everything doesnt always have be done my way.(DH almost fell over the first time i said...''im sorry, i was wrong''!)

Jeez i sound like i used to a terrible person, truth is i have matured so much in the last two years. Look forward to whatever my beautful LO is going to teach me next!

[Lolli]

Just to add another- I've learnt, if it's not a problem, it's not a problem. If an issue (eg- co-sleeping, feeding to sleep, a dummy, whatever) isn't causing me any dramas, then I shouldn't listen to the people telling me I need to 'fix' it. I've applied that to a lot of other areas in my life as well.

[sassy123]

i have learnt that you cant please everyone especially when it comes to christmas, easter and other such holidays. sometimes you need to be selfish and say no we are doing our own thing this yr instead of tryin to run around and see everyone in the one day.

I have also realised how little DH does around the house lol.

Also you realise who your real friends are, who will stick around or will book child friendly things to do when you go out or child proof their house better then your own is.