ausgirl my hair sounds exactly like yours!!! A couple of things I found have worked:
1. Always shampoo twice. If you're anything like me, you usually use way too much conditioner- because it's the only way to 'tame' it. But then it goes to the other extreme and become gross and heavy. SO... shampoo once to get rid of the product, and then another time to actually clean your hair/scalp.
2. When you condition, instead of doing it on 'damp' hair, make sure your hair is WET. Don't use too much or it's weigh your hair down instead of making it lovely curls like you want.
3. Stop using Pantene. I know, believe me!!!!! It's so hard to quit it, but the reason it's so good is that it's basically silicone.
4. A brand that is working really well for me is Catwalk by TIGI HEADSHOT. It's the from most hairdressers, expensive, but will last 3 times as long as pantene because you won't use as much.
5. I wash my hair twice a week max and RINSE.

Now, I still don't have perfect hair, it annoys the jeebers outta me sometimes, but those steps have meant that I no longer have product build up on top of frizzy hair. Because I don't have the product build up, I wash my hair less, which helps it stay hydrated. AND I sometimes get that perfect curly day.

Hope this helps!
K x