Hello

I have been a member of this site for a little over two weeks now. I haven't posted anything until now, but wanted to say thanks to everyone out there because I have gained so much from reading your stories and sharing your pain.

I lost our little Jonathon on 10 March 2010, at 17.5 weeks. We have no answers as to why this happened, and it's unlikely we ever will have any. I am just left with a void, a broken heart, an emptiness like nothing I've ever felt before.

I have a fabulous partner who has been a great support, and is very sensitive to what I need to get through this. He seems to be coping better than me, and I truly hope (and trust) that he is. I have another beautiful son too, he is 3yo, and is proving to be one of the smartest and most sensitive little men.

But I am feeling quite alone in my pain - I find myself withdrawing into my thoughts and it's difficult to pull myself out. I can manage to find a way for my 3yo, but as soon as he doesn't need my undivided attention, I fall into (what I describe) my pit again. I have never felt this way before, and don't like it one iota. I know that with time, I will find a way to deal with these feelings and that in the interim, I have to just feel.

I don't even know where I'm going with this - around in circles it seems - so I apologise! I didn't want to write the story of our loss ... I just wanted to share how I was feeling today.

Thanks for listening out there, it's appreciated
Emma