Ianto's story (extremely long, and may be distressing)

Thank you so much for sharing. I feel honoured to have read your story. So sorry your little man could not have stayed longer. Sending you and scott much strength!

Oh Teni, my heart is just breaking for you. What a strong woman you are. Bless your little Ianto- I can omly imagine how beautiful he must have been. Thinking of you :hug:

Teni - I am so so sorry for you. Thankyou for sharing your story and your beautiful thoughts about your little boy. I am sobbing as I read this - I can feel the love you have for him. My thoughts are with you and Scott.

Teni and Scott :hug: I'm so sorry for the loss of your Ianto.

I am so very sorry for your loss TeniBear & Scott. :hug:

:hug: I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Your angel boy sounds absolutely gorgeous. Thank you so much for honoring us by sharing the story of Ianto's birth. You are such an amazingly strong woman and you will have the memories of your gorgeous boy to help you through this difficult time.
Rest in peace little Ianto and always remember how much your mummy and daddy love you.

I to am sitting here with tears rolling down my face.
Teni- im so sorry for your loss :( i wish i could give you the biggest hug and tell you everything will be ok. :heartbeat: but i do thankyou for having enough strength to share this incredible emotional filled story with us.
You are are a truely inspiring lady and i wish you and scott all support in the world.

R.I.P- baby lanto :angel: you were to perfect for this cruel world!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your little boy. Thank you for sharing your story. My heart hurts for you. May you fly free darling Ianto xx

Love to you! be gentle on yourself
Fly free little man!

:hug: So sorry for your loss, such a loving post! Thank you for having the courage to share your story. May cheeky little Ianto watch over you from above xo

I'm so heartbroken for you and Scott. Life just isnt fair.

Ianto seems like a gorgeous little boy. Im so sorry he couldnt stay :(

RIP Ianto :(

Teni - so moved by your story, how brave you are to share it - do you mind if I ask if thye knew what the cause of your loss was - tell me to mind my own if you like.

I don't know that I could find the strength that you are showing! :hugs:

First of all, thank you everyone for your kind words - I'm not strong, I'm just adamant I don't forget one detail of Ianto's life (I know it seems silly, and I know I'm wrong, but I'm kinda counting the time in the hospital as part of his "life") so I needed to write it as soon as possible. I'm glad I've been able to inject a little humour in there as well - despite everything that happened, I have been able to laugh about little things. I think it may be part of how my family and I greive, because the same thing happened when my nan died last year. We'd go from crying one second to laughing about how she used to walk the next. With Ianto, I'm going from sobbing about how alone he must be to laughing about how I almost hit the midwife with my waters (for example)...

I'll most likely edit this a thousand times, for myself really, and I'll include things that are yet to come like his funeral this Saturday. This morning we met with the celebrant, and I got a little angry that she didn't ask about his "life" after he was born - I'm going to email her soon about that and tell her I need her to say something about how soft his skin was...

ausgirl - No reason was found on the ultrasound, but they checked him externally after we left the hospital (one thing that's really been upsetting me - I just keep seeing him in my mind's eye, so alone...) and we'll get the results of that when I have to go back to the hospital for my follow-up in a few weeks. They also checked the placenta, his cord, and a lot of blood from me - I was even joking with the woman who took my blood that I hoped she left me some to keep for myself :D We declined an autopsy for the simple reason that I don't want anyone hurting my sweet boy - he's been through enough, and I know I couldn't handle thinking about it. I've also been saying, even if someone could tell me 100% what caused it, I'm not sure I'd want to know - what if it was my fault? If it's something that could affect future pregnancies, of course I want to know, but they said usually with something like that they'd pick it up by the tests they're doing anyway.

teni, i have been trying to find the right words since i first read this thread last night to let you know how sorry i am to hear of the loss of your precious ianto. i don't think i could ever come up with anything that conveys the depth of sorrow i feel & how much i wish that you had never had to experience the loss of your precious boy.

:hug:

RIP ianto

Teni :hug: I am so sorry that your beautiful cheeky little man Ianto has had to leave you and go to heaven. :hug: I am just so sad for you and your DH and family. Have been crying for you and just wanted you to know that you, Ianto, your DH and family and friends are in my thoughts and prayers :hug:

Oh Teni, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Ianto :hug:. I am just devastated for you :(.

You wrote his story so beautifully, thank you for sharing it with us all. It is truly an honour to have read it.

You are in my thoughts and my prayers :hug:.

I am so sorry to hear that Ianto had to move on. Your story shows incredible strength and love - he's so lucky to have such a wonderful mummy. :hug:

TeniBear, I am so very sorry that Ianto wasn't able to stay. :hug:

Reading your story has just left me shattered and with my heart hurting so much for you.

BW