To snip or not to snip

[puppies]

My husband wants to get the snip so that I can come off the pill as we think its affecting my libido. What should we do, should we wait till out 12month son is older or is it a good time now. Thats one less thing to worry about I guess. We both are very happy with just one child.
Ta

[Schmickers]

Well, if it's a decision you are both happy with, I guess there's no time like the present! I know it takes a few months before you are cleared to have sex without using other methods of contraception.

Personally, it's not for me, but like I said, if it is something you are both agreed on, then go for it.

[kawazuki]

we are having the same discussions in this house..
im unsure thought so its harder..

if your both happy with just one thats great get it done. the drs will prob ask alot of questions anyway when you go in for the appointment.

remember it can always be reversed.

and if the main reason is your libido, maybe look at other ways to increase it, it could eb as simple as teh wrong pill for you, or your hormones are out of wack since having your baby etc etc

[puppies]

Thanks, well hormones and the pill and having PND (Post Natal Depression) to which I was on antidepressents until recently. The pressure of having to work 3 months after baby was born, keeping husband happy in the sac and dealing with the fact that he has what I would call high libido wanting it every day and sometimes more than once in the same day. Where I am happy with 2-3 times a week. There is so much going on. I have stopped my antidepressents, and am now taking some Vitamin B and some other natural thing called Climax for women to help increase their libido. Problem is I dont know if I will ever be able to keep up with his demand or needs. Its already taken us to a place where he has crossed the line with a few younger more hornier young ladies by sms and dirty talk. He says there was nothing physical but it doesn't matter.

We are going through some marriage support with a phycholigist at the moment in trying to fix our marriage since the baby arrived and I got PND and teh baby suffered silient reflux for the first 3 months of his life and hardly slept let alone not screamed the house down. Its been tough on both of us but I just dont know if this is going to give him the result he wants. What if he goes through all this and I get off the pill and a year later we are still in the same boat. Him wanting it every day and me happy to have it 2-3 times a week still.

One thing is for sure I do NOT want to have another baby with him so in that respect I am all for it. Imagine having two kids and a needy husband demanding at you let alone the other daily grind! I will be back on the antidepressents before I know it.

I dont know if we can save our marriage because of what he has done, but I am willing to try. I do love him but now that he has shown me a side of him that is less than desireable I am also worried that is affecting my sexual desire for him also.

OK, I know I ramble. QUESTION GUYS, so he made a mistake. He was not happy with a couple of times a week and mostly quickies with no naughty play or exciting games. So he crossed over to a young 19yr old who was ready to give him all he wanted. I dont know if he went there. the messages seemed that he did but he assures me he didn't. Phycholgist says to give him the benefit of the doubt. How do I not see this as yet ANOTHER demand on me and give him whant he needs without obligation or resentment coming in???

Damn I am exhausted... bet no one responds to this one!

[BellyBelly]

Moving to vasectomy forum....

[BellyBelly]

I'll answer it...

Firstly, you are very brave to push on in a relationship like that. I don't think I could do it. Sounds like sex is VERY important to your man and seeking outlets elsewhere, with other people instead of working it out with you, is not good.

But if you definitely would like to work it out, check out THIS thread. It will help address the questions and problems you have in a way most psychologists don't approach things, yet works so well.

[Miss H]

Oh puppies, it seems this is more of a question of your relationship than libido. You are doing excellantly by being able to give him sex 2 or 3 times a week. There is certainly nothing wrong with your libido. The "maybe affair" will have more affect on your sex drive than the pill, I can promise you. And at the same time, if by some reason you were to split, it would be a bit unfair that he is unable to have children with anyone else because of the vasectomy. I think that you would have to work at your relationship rather and he should rather admit he might need to change his sexual thinking of needing it all the time. There is nothing wrong with you and if you really don't want another child with him, then don't go off the pill. I hope things improve for you soon.