Hi

Well my 11 yo daughter Caitlyn is really a lovely girl. She can be quite aloof and in her own world. But I'm having some issues with her and they're just small things that I think she should be able to do. She doesn't do any chores around the house, I've given my kids the option to help out, if they do they tick the job they've done and they get pocket money for it. Well as you can imagine my 11 yo doesn't do much, although my 9 yo is a bit of a whizz and has built up a healthy bank account.

Anyway basically my daughters is expected to keep her room tidy, put dirty clothes in the wash, take care of herself (hair, teeth etc) but even this is a chore for her. The other day she hadn't brushed her hair for 2 days and it was getting matted so I told her to have a bath and wash her hair and when she had conditioner in her hair to brush it out. Well she got out of the bath and hadn't done her hair. Well I just sent her back to the bath to do her hair, which she did, she was then on no TV for the night.

I just find that I don't know how to get her motivated to do these basic things. I also find she's easily distracted, like during the holidays my girls have been doing swimming classes and when the teacher was talking to Caitlyn, Caitlyn wouldn't look at her and was looking around and didn't seem to be paying attention. I had to pull her up and say "listen to your teacher".

Now I'm wondering if this is normal type of behaviour for her age? and I'm wondering whether it would be beneficial to put her into a sport that will give her some discipline and training? I'm thinking of putting her in surf club or swimming club (as she is a brilliant swimmer), I'm not sure yet. I thought putting her into something where she has to achieve things on her own would be more beneficial rather than a team type sport. Plus I think I need to get her out of the house more cos if I let her she'd sit in front of the TV/computer all day and wouldn't move off the lounge.