Alcohol

Hmmm... not sure I like the idea of giving a 10-11yo any alcohol... I think teaching responsible drinking would be not to binge in front of them, not to actually give it to them...

Just becasue the law says a child can legally drink from 5 (OMG!!) doesn't mean we should let them either.

Anyway... each to their own.

Tanya

Goodness me at 5 year olds being able to drink legally, what is that about? Nup no way could I ever, ever go there, yikes.

When I was 12, I was allowed my first glass of wine (watered down) for my brothers 21st. It was special occaision and it went straight to my head.

At 15 I had, had a few glasses watered down IN FRONT of my parents in the past 3 years. It was only for special occaisions, and definately only in front of my parents.

At 16, I got my first experience getting drunk ... it was the worst night of my life and I still don't fully remember what happened. My mum found out and went off the rocker at me! She was disgusted that after everything she had taught me, PEER pressure had won.
Between 16-17 I went behind my parents backs drinking, because they had forbidden it from me.

At 17 I was basically working full time, had an older BF (Alan) and my bestfriend was 18. I hardly touched the drink, until I turned 18 then I drank for about a year and half (Binge on weekends).
Now I hardly touch the stuff (well obviously LOL).

What I am trying to say is... My mum taught me everything about alcohol, the effects it would have on me, the dangers if I was around guys drinking. But by 14-15 I thought I knew it all, but luckily I had my own thoughts.. I thought my friends were cool and their parents were cool because they were allowed to drink, but that didn't make me start drinking. I thank my mum everyday for giving me boundries as to how much I could drink, for teaching me everything she knew.
I have seen so many of my school friends become drop kicks because they started drinking at 14-15. Half of them don't have half what I have now and I dropped out of school!

But, thing is, peer pressue these days is a lot stronger than what it was 7 years ago (For me). 7 Years ago if you didn't drink, you didn't drink. You didn't smoke you didn't smoke. Nowadays, drinking is the BIG thing in all their lives.

Tanya, I know I have caught the ass end of this thread, but I do hope your daughter comes to realise how alcohol is serious. Even 2 drinks at 14 can be enough (especially with the % in them nowadays). I wouldn't be letting my 14-15 yr old drink in front of anyone but ME and ALAN.
I have seen the outcomes first hand of parents that are too lenient on teenage drinking. My MIL let my youngest BIL drink from 14. He was a heavy drinking by 15 and now without a doubt I will see him with a drink in his hand whenever I see him. He rocks up to functions with a can in the hand and a smoke in the other. All because my MIL thought it was OK to let him drink 2-4 drinks a weekend with his mates.

I have pretty strict rules when it comes to alcohol for my future children. If they wish to drink under 18, give me a good enough reason they want to. If they want to drink, they can pay for it them selves (not with pocket money) but by going out and getting a job to pay for it themselves, but then they still have to ASK ME what they CAN drink. And I can guarantee you it won't be spirits. They want responsibilty, they need to earn it.

Some parents are just a little TOO lenient nowadays.

It may be wise to teach children young about the effects and consqeunces of drinking alcohol but the actual damage it does to them hardly makes it smart to give it to them. The effects on adult brains is so much less than on a child's and after the age of 5 or 6 any damage is not reversible... just something to consider...

A hangover at age 10months, is just atrocious! I am unsure of how you remember it though Ryn, but I'd put that down as child abuse!
Legally allowing a 5yr old to drink alcohol is beyond comprehension!?

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- I don't agree with "Mummy can have this but you mustn't touch it." You have to lead by example and I intend to teach responsible drinking. That way he's tried alcohol before it's an issue and he may not like it. I won't get in the alcopops or larger, it will be "proper" stuff only (wine or a decent bitter - not spirits!).

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Perhaps it would be better to not drink alcohol than to give him some at such a young age, I'm not sure watering down alcohol for a 10yr old would be teaching him "responsible drinking"?


I do enjoy a glass of Scotch & coke & also a beer, but it's like many many things in life... Adults can do it, but kids cant...

These rules/laws are in place to protect kids...

got a 19m th old bubba on my lap now so that will do...

Firstly good on you Tanya for standing your ground and talking so openly with your child...

Yeah im totally shocked Ryn that you would even think about giving your 10yr son watered down wine, it can still do damage to your childs development.... And at DINNER what happened to a glass of milk we had as kids.... Imagine going to school and they are talking about what they had for tea.. Your son puts up his hand and says Spag bog and a glass of mummies favourite white wine......

Tanya, at least she asked your permission, and you didn't find out afterward.

I agree 15-16 is too young.

My parents would buy us alcohol in yr 12 (which was 17-18 for me, I am a july bub) or let us drink it at family funcitons etc, when they were going to be present.

I am not sure what I will do with Milo. DH is a lot more liberal with things like this than me though, so it will be interesting!

I know people who let their children have a small glass of wine younger, in fact have been encouraged to because when they taste their first communion wine they don't spit it out. And we wouldn't drink wine every night - just like now, we only drink on birthdays, family gatherings, Christmas...

When I was about 11 my Grandad would give me a glass of wine whenever I visited, not watered down - I think I'm being strict here! On the continent it's more normal for children this age to drink watered down wine, and in larger amounts than I'd give my children. This decision will be subject to change as to how we feel at the time, but I know we'll be in a situation where DS is offered alcohol maybe before this age. If it isn't offered then we'll probably extend the age, but we'll talk about it when we need to.

As for the hangover,my mum told me how she suffered with me complaining about it.

BTW, I don't have alcohol now because of DS, a lot more than a lot of BFing Mummies I know!

Ryn I am shocked that you would have been drunk at 10m......that seems almost impossible. What were you drinking and why??? Maybe before you give your child alcohol at age 10 you should do some careful research on the effect of alcohol on the body and esp on the bodies and minds of young children.

From my experience the kids who were allowed to drink drankfrom a much earlier age and got just as ****ed as those of us who were not allowed to drink at an early age. I always knew that if I was drinking underage that I had to go home sober or risk being grounded forever and so I drank less than my DH who was allowed to drink. He was also allowed to smoke from the age of 15, was brought cigarettes and what a wonderful thing his parents did for him, by the time he was 16 he was smoking a pack of day and they were buying them for him. I see that being allowed to drink and smoke early means that some people develop unhealthy lifestyle patterns from an age where their bodies are still developing, which can only be harmful in the long run. I still smoked behind my parents back butagain, the 5 a day I sneaked did much less damage than the 30 + a day my dh was smoking with his parents blessing. I think they did him a great disservice in teaching him to abuse alcohol and cigerettes and his health as well. I believe that allowing alcohol allows cigerettes allows sex and that is for adulthood not childhood. My children may be lucky enough at 17 and a half to be allowed a sip of alcohol, or some to take to a party, but not before. I can not see how they will thank me later just because they were the allowed to be ****ed. I thank my parents for making it so that I did not have free range cos who knows which path I may have taken.

It is hard Tanya and I am not looking forward to that situation but I think you are doing the right thing...100%

I was drinking because my parents had a party, people put drinks down (wine, sherry, beer...) and I drank them... my parents saw, but thought it "cute". I have a lot of issues with what they think is cute. Hmm, we were all alowed shandy and stuff from about age 8 too.

I have never been drunk in front of my parents... well, aside from when I was a baby and at my 21st, where my friends kept re-filling my glass (that's bloomin' dangerous, something I really hate). Being allowed a drink is different to being allowed to be drunk.

I will continue to look at alcohol research, but I don't see the very occasional watered-down glass with a meal as harmful; I'm talking far less than half-and-half here.

Oh, btw, red wine with spag bol, please!

eta: just thought about every time I have been drunk - aside from as a baby, every time bar one was because people were re-filling my glass without my knowledge or not telling me they'd added a triple shot to my drink. As soon as I felt drunk I did stop drinking straight away and find a friend to take me home or stay with me where we were. The one other time was when the drugs I had to take when I had my feet broken reacted with the alcohol... and my friend did me a martini in a large glass thatwasn't the reqested martini and lemonade but vodka and martini!

I skulled a pint of beer when I was 3-4, I stole it from my uncle when he wasn't looking, and put back the empty glass.

Honestly, I hardly think someone would *give* a 10 month old alcohol.

Cute??? OMG lucky child welfare didnt step in!

Jo

oh Ryn that's so funny - I would have to assume you're pulling the p*ss with that story (sorry for pun!)

DH and I were talking about this only the other night - his mum used to buy him 6 packs when he was 16 as long as he drank them at home with his mates instead of at his mates house. I can't say that he was a very responsible drinker in his late teens. Then again my parents wouldn't have a bar of it and I snuck it - I also wasn't a very responsible drink in my late teens

It's so hard to know what the right thing to do is - talking to your child seems to be the only way to go - well done Tanya. I think consistency would have to be the key - I am dreading the day Charlie asks me to buy him alcohol - although I know it wont happen..... he'll go straight to his Dad I reckon!!

Hmmm I am the adult and my children are not just miniature adults, they have developing brains that need to be protected from poisons like alcohol. Who cares what's legal at what age??

Can I also add that I know of parents who will give their very young children a swig of their can or a small drink on special occasions. And it's true these kids don't grow up and sneak out and get sloshed. IMHO they don't want to because they grow up too fast and see alcohol as something 'normal'... but I also see a lot of them grow up to drink more even if it isn't getting drunk, some of them I have seen will drink on a daily basis.

I think with anything that is 'available' to a teenager they will have a go at it behind their parents backs. Even the harder drugs. And when they don't try these harder drugs it's usually because they have been told the horror of the consequences. Why is alcohol treated with such acceptance? Because it's legal to buy and drink (for those of legal age)? Why are the dangers brushed off with such ignorance? Is it because a little bit won't hurt? I am sure a little bit of any drug could be treated the same! There uncountable alcohol related addictions and deaths in Australia and I think treating it as a drug is the way i will be approaching it with my DD.

Thank you all so much for your input :grouphug: I really do appreciate being able to discuss this openly with all of you :)

Tanya

Tanya, I agree talking openly with your kids is best... Explaining to them the danger of various entices!!!

maybe that's just me but drinking which can cause damage to a growing childs brain, effect it's health choices in future, addictions, etc...

Effects of alcohol cannot be reversed, so it's really not at all relative...???

OMG Ryn at your parent's thinking you drinking at 10 months was 'cute', omg I would be horrified and would probably ring or take a child to the hospital if they had any kind of alcohol at that age. Spaghetti bolognaise with red wine in it will have no affect on children at all as all alcohol is burned off pretty much as soon as the wine hits the heat of the pot. I really do hope that you seriously look at more research before you let your 10 year old drink alcohol, watered down or not. The fact that the effects that it has on big grown men should show you how much even a little bit will have on a child. And using drinking alcohol early so they don't spit out communion wine is ridiculous, IMHO churh's that have communion should not be offering wine anyway, what's wrong with using a subsitute. At the church I used to go to for many years used grape juice, which is for more friendly to everyone than wine, even though it's just a little sip.

Tanya- You are definitely doing the wisest thing possible. You are doing such a fabulous job as a parent and I hope Alecia will see that one day and thank you for it :)