Aww Geez...what do I do??????

d'oh! now you're making me feel bad for making lulu come get it :p

Lulu, it might be worth you joining Freecycle too. People are giving away heaps of stuff and you can request stuff too. You do get loads of emails to wade through (like 100 a day sometimes) but it's no great hassle to just delete the ones you're not interested in.

:lol: BG. Nah i have a ute and a trailer and it's only just down the hill! Maybe i should come pick the stuff up from your place too! lol

loong way outta the way for you falguni!

we have a ute too - but i wouldn't trust it on a Melb trip - it's a little on the unroadworthy side

just spoke to DH - the drawers are all yours if you want them hun -just need warning of when you're coming to get them so we can gut them!

Oh cool! I do need an excuse to get up there BG

Well thanks to my sister who has filled my double garage with her furniture, I'm ok for couches and chairs. I already pinched her drawers for DD!

YOu guys rock! You really do xoxoxoxox

in all honesty it's YOU that rocks - we're just helping you a bit...

Lulu hon - I'm a bit slow on the scene, but just wanted to let you know that you're awesome. You really, really are.

Let me know what you need - and I can get my church onto it too. :)

:clap: Lulu you are an absolute champ!! I would be taking her grocery shopping with you and asking her what she is likely to eat. Do 1 round just for her and then when you go back do the rest. The amount that she thinks she will eat will be the first trip and I expect that would be a smaller shop.

Do you have a bar fridge in the bungalow? If she is thinking that the first shop is enough for her, then let her have the bar fridge for that week, and if she runs out then maybe review the board level. After you have worked out exactly the level of board then put it all together and continue with it at that level.

If we were any closer I would say take some wardrobes!! we have 3 taking up space in the garage that I need to get rid of!!

Bella will take cues from D and if D tells her that it is not worth going through what she is going through then I think Bella will stay in school. I think Bella can see that D is learning a lot of life lessons and Bella is learning from what her friend is going through. I think if Bella sees that you are trusting her to do what you ask while supporting her friend, then she is more likely to pull her head in and feel more independant without acting up.

O...M...G

What a mess this is. Took D to Clink today, DHS is already involved with the case and have made an assessment. I think the father says its ok for her to come home, but then he tells D he will call the police if she does.

Where she is staying is ok, L (friends mum) says she can stay as long as she likes. Problem with that is its across the road from Ds house, the mum is a drunk and has a thing for D's dad and calls him to come over all the time. The house is spotless though! The mum has a friend with autistic kids and she comes over to get drunk and leaves the poor kids for D and T to look after....yadda yadda yadda you get the picture.

Now I can see the point that Ds dad is happy with D being across the road....but the mothers is sweet on him so I think he is using her a bit (and being horribly nasty to D when he is there) because L isn't claiming any $$$ for her. She doesn't work so I don't know how she can afford to keep a teen long term without financial support if I cant. Its all really gross.

I did have a chat with L, and I get the feeling she would prefer D to stay with her for obvious reasons. D's dad is heading for a heart attack by the sounds of it, but he is still a w@nker. I made it clear that D could stay with me subject to rules etc and that she will go to school etc etc etc. I got the feeling by the end that L will try to keep D there and its going to be hard to D to say "well you drink cask wine all day long and hit on my dad so it's just not going to work out". Furthermore D's dad has had an issue with DD and I, he won't be happy if she comes here, so I also made it clear that I didn't give a rats what he thought about me (eyebrows raised on that point), that when D is staying with me she will be properly cared for and thats all he needs to know.

D wants to go back to school, is happy to get herself there and back, doesn't mind helping out at all (apparently its a cakewalk compared to home) and totally understands why I won't allow her family here, or friends until I get to know them. She even seemed rather chuffed when I told her I wouldn't allow her to go to parties with no supervision etc because thats DD's rules too.

I worry that I'm opening myself up to alot of drama here, mum doesn't want me to take D long term cos she thinks its too much for me. Mum loves D and has already bought her xmas pressies but I know she worries about the drama issues too..
I have told D she must take part in family mediation because regardless she needs to be able to make some sort of relationship with her parents.
I also told L that a better family situation for D is the best outcome for everyone, so I hope she passes that on to D's dad. He is going about things the wrong way, but I think he is a bit overwhelmed at having 6 kids on his own (the first 2 are right off the rails) and surely he would like NOT to lose D as well??? I won't be participating in that side of things though.

So as it stands D can move in when she is ready, I think she wanted to wait until after xmas so as not to interfere in our plans, but she now knows we have already included her anyway. I'm leaving it there right, I'm sure there will be some fallout once L spills the news to D's dad....so I'm waiting it out :o

Will call her over the weekend to see when she wants to move in. It would be so much better for her here..

you're a good person hun - you're putting yourself potentially in the middle of a nasty drama, but putting D's wellbeing above what the fall out might be.

i think you're on the mark that L is only in it to see what she can get from D's dad - if she fancies him, playing the mother role to his daughter can only help her to attract him

let us know what is happening - drawers are sitting here doing nothing if/when you need them hun!

Oh bloody hell, nothing's ever easy is it. I think sometimes the only answer is to let things take their course (a bit) and hope that sense will prevail.

I'm sure that D feels very grateful that L has taken her in and doesn't want to seem ungrateful. Maybe if L also comes to realise that having D there doesn't increase the chances of getting into D's dad's pants, she will be less keen to have her there. OR, if she does get into his pants then D will no longer serve a purpose.

In the meantime, I think the only thing to do is to be honest with D and tell her that you understand that she's in a difficult situation and that no decision she takes now is going to be perfect - someone is going to be upset no matter what she does but that she just needs to do what's best for her. And that your door is open.

Dealing with adults who are duds is the absolute pits. I find that dealing with their offspring is much plainer sailing as they often have maturity beyond their years.

If you manage to navigate your way through this mess Lulu, I'm going to nominate you to sort out the Middle East crisis next!

Its getting a bit Jerry Springer actually.

I'd say my liver would be too shot to take on the Middle East mate..

oh its fun isn't it Lulu?!???! NOT! the hardest part I think , is not the kids (for you D, for me my niece) its all the other crap - insert poor excuse for parents! - that comes with them. my DN is easy to have. and thrives on being given boundaries. its her friggin mother that sends me around the twist. I'm sure you and I could have our own jerry springer!!

I just keep disengaging from the drama, and trying to not get sucked into it. having had DN with me for nearly six weeks now, the whole dynamic of my family is needing to be looked at... i'd like to dig a hole actually and stick my head in it.

Sorry not very helpful am I? just being honest.

omg, if these people were my family I'd have my head right there next to yours hun.
better go check your blog...

She's here! WOo Hoo, I'm a mother of 4!

As expected, it didn't go down to well when she told them she was going. The same day she was accused of stealing from them and was sent a txt from the daughter telling her to f-off. I just took her to get her stuff then...and they wouldn't let her in. We stood there on the doorstep like idiots for 15 mins whilst they packed her stuff...

We got it all, and I bought a poinsetta and a thank you card and dropped it back at the door, even though they were awful. I'm glad I was standing there with her, I'm sure there would have been fireworks if not :doh:

Oh and what did she apparently steal? A chupa chup.

wtf? a chuppa chup? that's pathetic!

ok miss lulu - we have drawers here - all you need to do is tell me what day after Christmas and before new year is most convenient for us to drop it at your place - pm/sms me hun and we'll work it out.

:hug: Lulu!

A chupa chup FFS!