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Soul - I think you missed the bit where I said "drinking at home in mine or DH's presence"... after they hit 18 I can't do much other than trust that the education we provide will have a positive affect on them. Afterall, at 18 they could have already moved out - perhaps they have moved to go to a Uni far away (or just want to get away from us! LOL)
Soul, I posted earlier in this thread that small amounts of alcohol inhibit neurones in the brain in the short term, but promote brain growth in the long term... I'll see if I can find that study for you on-line. And DS will NOT be getting drunk or "the giggles feeling" - that is not the point. Being drunk is NOT a good thing. Nor is drinking all the time - which I will NOT be promoting. As a 10-year-old I understood one glass only even if your daughter's friend cannot, but DS probably won't be drinking at 10.
Why did I come back here? You just seem determined to misconstrue my intents and dislike me. I have said DS will learn of the dangers of alcohol abuse and drink-driving, even if that means taking him to cemetaries and hospitals if he ignores our warnings. He will NOT be getting drunk on my watch. Just because your mother and my mother seemed to think drunken tots are amusing does not mean I am the same.
I didnt miss it, I never miss anything!!! I was just talking about the effects of alchol v's smoking. One is a slow death the other could be on the spot. Both as bad but in differnet ways.
Anyway, I guess I can count my blessing that neither of myn are interested while still adolesense. My son has one year and a bit till he is legal, if he wants it then, doubt it, he's on his own, but while I still make the rules, he will follow them. I guess he hasnt the chance to go get drunk anyway, he doenst go out partying.
Ryn I said you had a good attitude about teaching your son the right way, how is that telling you I dont like you?
I never said you were like my mother either, words in my mouth!
Apologies, Soul, I read "smart attitude" as meaning I was being foolish and not thinking of the consequences, also that DS would grow up a juvenile drunkard. Probably just one of those seperated by a common language problems - being "smart" is to have intelligence but not knowledge to me.
In the UK and in some Aussie states the legal drinking age is 5 - 18 is just foralcohol purchase.
Dye her hair - No, I wouldn't pay for it and I'm pretty sure she has higher financial priorities with her pocket money. She knows her school doesn't allow unnatural hair dying as well.
Shave her body - She is already shaving her pits, not her legs though. She does lots of sport and I'm kinda glad she does because it probably helps her smell fresher. If she wanted to do her legs it wouldn't worry me but the hairs are quite fair anyhow I told her they would go darker in appearance if she started to shave them.
Get piercings anywhere - She hates the idea of it, even in her ears.
Swear - No. We don't swear much and she cringes when she hears in on public transport etc. She has told us that most of her friends swear but that she thinks it's ugly.
Drink - Yes, she occassionally tries sips of the wine we are drinking at the table but doesn't like it. Even as she gets older I am fairly confident that she will be responsible about it.
Smoke - No. From and early age she really dislikes smoking (around her) and has told me she doesn't like hugging relatives that smoke. I can't see this as becoming a problem. I've told her that I've tried it a few times but that it was disgusting and a total waste of money.
Go out of a night - Most of her friends parents are stricter than we are about this so I don't see this as an issue yet.
Can I add that this thread started out as just what people think, and again it has turned in to an alcohol debate. I think we know what people's stances are on alcohol from previous threads.
I agree Meg, this was just out of interest to find out about a number of things and has degenerated into an alcohol discussion which I am sure is not what Soul intended.
I wish I had written in this thread when Jess was little so I could have kept a copy to see how I had changed since then!! Its amazing how some things I have relaxed on and some things I have toughened my stance on over the years!
I'm sure it wasn't intended but Soul did ask us all if we thought alcohol was worse than nicotine, and by a few responses I assumed that Soul was more concerned with alcohol than other behaviour ;) (Not having a go at you Soul ;) Perfectly normal question to ask.) I think its just turned that way because it was the major part of the discussion, but I don't really think its a debate as such moreso a discussion. As far as I can see no one has taken offence by anything (and if they did they kissed and made up :P) and the discussion has got back on track.:
my daughter is 12 this april and in the last yr of primary and some things have come up already *sigh*
Dye her hair - maybe a rinse, never a permanent and she's not interested .. yet!
Shave her body - never, but i am currently looking to get her legs waxed before school starts back!
Get piercings anywhere - ears yes, nothing else under 16
Swear - well no, but as you say, outside the house i know she does i just hope she has the self respect to not make herself appear trashy with a vile mouth!
Drink - god no! not under 18!
Smoke - not a chance!
Go out of a night - nope, not without a parent. 16 will be the age where we will consider non-group outings at night for her ..