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Thread: Do you allow

  1. #1

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    Default Do you allow

    Your teenage daughter to-

    Dye her hair
    Shave her body
    Get piercings anywhere
    Swear
    Drink
    Smoke
    Go out of a night


    My daughter is allowed to shave her legs, but DH is furious at the thought of allowing her to get any piercings except her ears. I think its ok if its a small stud on the side of her nose but DEFINATLEY not a belly piercing . Dont mind eye brow. We fight about this ALL the time hubbie and I.




    Hair dye is also a on going arguemnt as my cousin is a hair dresser, runs her own salon in sydney at mosman, and says I shoud try to get her to put off dying her hair till she is older as it can ruin her hair earlier on in life. As the chemicals in it are savage to the scalp and if she starts ealier in life the damage will happen much quicker than say when she is at the age of "Needing" to die her hair. Another argument DH and I have contantly. She has beautiful brown hair why change it he says?

    I dont alow swearing in the home but I know they do it away form me, cant do anything about that! I cant stand kids with a potty mouth!

    Drink, smoke and go out is not allwed either for our teenage daughter!


    What do you alow and not allow?

  2. #2
    shar Guest

    Default

    I dont have a teenage daughter but I do have a 10 yo stepdaughter and her mother starts dying (bleaching even) her hair at about 8, I was mortified. Theoretically I would say

    Hair - semi permanents at about 10, but permanents not till at least 13
    Piercings - ears are fine at about 5 or 6 but anything else at least 15
    Shaving - I think depends on the child (ie physically), really at whatever age they "need" to
    Swearing - not really something I would encourage but after about 15 I wouldnt be phased as long as it wasnt really crude
    Drinking - small amounts as a teenage, our 10 yo has had sips of my drinks but actually "drinking" I think about 15 too
    Smoking - never, its a terrible habit
    Going out at night - depends where and with who

  3. #3

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    Sorry but i'm not quite there yet Soul....

    But I think some body piercing is ok, especially as i have a few, I would try and put her off as long as possible and make sure that she was sure about it. My eldest dd is a real wus and hates needles so she may never want to (of course things change) Plus you can take them out with minimal scarring.

    I know someone that let their 9yo get some blonde foils (she had dark brown hair) and i was horrified.... She was also given a mobile phone at that age. I'm not sure about that one as you want to experiment etc etc but once you start it never ends.

    No swearing here either.

    This one is scary...... Kids want to experiment with smoking and drinking aswell and my eldest has cystic fibrosis and if she smokes it will probably kill her or at least do severe damage to her lungs. I wonder how that is going to go down in the teenage years?? Ive already started telling her that it will make her really sick.

    Sorry I haven't really helped you just babbled....

  4. #4

    Default

    Wow, my mum was liberal!

    I was allowed to use non-permanent dyes, shave, only ear piercings but tbh I find body piercings unattractive so that was never an issue, my language was the cleanest in the house (in fact, my cousins who are 11, 13 and 15 years younger have and had, even pre-school, worse language), I was allowed alcohol but not to smoke (my mum's mum died of smoking-related cacer when I was 14 so I never wanted to) and from about 13 I was out overnight most weekends and summers (or had friends over), just called my mum to say I would be back tomorrow.

    I may be fairly liberal but I don't think I will be that much! I guess DS can shave when he has something to shave, no dying, swearing, piercing, smoking, alcohol yes but drunkenness no, out only if pre-arranged and I know the family. With a girl shaving would be earlier as bullies are mean and she can have her ears done, but I'll be a little stricter with the sleeping out and curfews.

  5. #5

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    I am a beauty therapist so no shaving, only waxing as it is almost free for us.... Just as well, having 4 daughters i will save money that way.

  6. #6

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    Ah no needing help here anyways sweetie just asking and gettin ideas on how other parent!!!

    MY teenagers, both of them detest alchol, thank blody god too! They have seen what damage it can do both mentally and physically to poeple. I wonder if those sips as a kid is enticing them though! Just a thought! I mean they make drinking legal as a adult 18 for a reason! Why should they be allowed to do it before then!

    I dont get how drinking is ok but not smoking yet both do severe damage!

  7. #7

    Default

    Drinking does not cause perm. damage, smoking just one puff does. Drinking alcohol IS legal from age 5, just not buying it. I would not have my 5yo drinking alcohol though! Alcohol causes as much damage as paracetamol - which is why you don't give either to babies. It causes damage when you overdose, not in small amounts.

    I'd take my daughters to be waxed too and get them an epilator... far easier than shaving twice a day and better for the skin. Thanks for the thought, all girls.

  8. #8

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    Drinking does cause perminent damage, ask my mothers liver and my hubbies and he stopped at 20'something!The earlier you start the more damage later on.
    Drinking alcohol is dangerous for kids and teens and sometimes for adults, too. Alcohol is a drug, and it is the drug most abused by teens. Many kids have their first drink at an early age, as young as 10 or 11 or even younger.

    They may have seen their parents drink or cool ads for beer and wine. It's easy for a kid to get the wrong message about alcohol. In TV commercials, drinking looks like a lot of fun. You might see people drinking and watching sports together or having a big party.

    But alcohol is actually a depressant. That means it's a drug that slows down or depresses the brain. Like many drugs, alcohol changes a person's ability to think, speak, and see things as they really are. A person might lose his or her balance and have trouble walking properly. The person might feel relaxed and happy and later start crying or get in an argument. Over time, alcohol can do serious damage to his or her body. The liver, which removes poisons from the blood, is especially at risk.

  9. #9

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    only if you overdose, just like pain killers many people assume are OK. Yes, alcohol POISONING causes liver damage and blindness, but not alcohol in itself - you have to overdose first.

    I am not going to get into another argument about this, it is not productive. You asked what people do or would do, I replied and said why. Can I now attack your first post and say nose rings are awful? That is what you are doing here; I have researched this and made an informed decision. I do not tolerate drunkenness, but there is NO harm and some benefit in a small amount of wine.

    Alcohol doesn't "kill" brain cells. It just makes new cells grow less quickly.

    The idea that alcohol destroys brain cells dates back at least as far as the temperance campaigners of the early 19th century, who wanted all alcoholic drinks banned. It has no basis in scientific fact.

    Many studiess show that moderate drinking can in fact help congnition. A study in Sweden showed that more brain cells are grown in mice that are given alcohol.

    Alcohol abuse does cause serious damager, not least to the brain, but there is no evidence that these problems are to do with the death of cells - it's more likely that alcohol interferes with the working processes of the brain.
    Last edited by Ca Plane Pour Moi; October 20th, 2007 at 11:04 PM.

  10. #10

    Default

    I don't have a teenage daughter and since DH doesn't want more children I doubt I ever will but theoreticly.....
    hair dye - rinses & semi-permanant yes. Permanant can wit until she's older
    shaving - I'd prefer her to wax but either is ok. TBH I'd encourage it because I'm not a fan of body hair.
    piercings - a couple yes - a face full of metal no.
    swearing - I swear, I just can't seem to break the habit so it would be hypocritical to say no but I would prefer she didn't or at least was inventive with it like me.
    Drinking and smoking are both banned in my house for adults so no way my children could.
    Going out at night - depends, a movie or sleep over with trusted friends (know thier parents and have spoken to them about said sleep over) or dinner/coffee & late night shopping are all ok in my book just so long as curfew is respected. Disrespect the curfew and it wouldn't happen until I thought they were ready to be more mature about it. Going out late or to more adult venues can wait until they're adults.

    Anyway, as I said it's only theoretical for me lol.

    Mod stuff - Can we please refrain from debating/critcising other people's choices in this thread. If you disagree with someone else that's fine but please remember that like you, thier choices are probably motivated by thier desire to do the best for thier children.
    Last edited by Phteven; October 21st, 2007 at 08:08 AM. Reason: adding mod stuff

  11. #11

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    I didn't mean it that way soul, i just said sorry i couldn't help as i don't have teenagers yet and what i think i will say and do now may be slightly different when we get to the teenage years.

    I know you are not needing help or asking for it.

  12. #12

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    hi soul
    my 12 dd is aloud to shave her legs been doing it since yr 6
    she has just had streaks to her hair and it looks great but the rest shes not aloud to do shes only 12 she does swear sometimes but i get on her straight away she goes to highschool so i could imagine the langugage she hears.

  13. #13

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    all girls, you said sorry you havent really helped me, and I was just letting you know you had nothng to feel sorry about lol. It wasnt meant as rude or anything towards you. Wires crossed I think.

    Ryn no debate here either, can I have a opinion without it being a debate. I was just saying its not a good substance for children thats all, if anyone can show me the nuritional values in it then I will never say a bad word about the drug again.

  14. #14

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    Alecia is allowed to dye her hair as long as I agree to it, the same with piercings. They are usually only allowed if she has been on her best behaviour.

    She got her legs waxed for the very first time just before she went to high school. She begged me to let her shave her legs instead I took her to get them waxed.

    Swearing; we try to discourage her, but like Dach, I swear so it's kinda hard to be to harsh.

    Drinking and smoking, NO!

    She is allowed out of a night to supervised, no alcohol, no pass-out events and she is to picked up and dropped off.



    Tanya

  15. #15

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    Tanya does waxing hurt? lmao. Chloe-Mae wants it done and I dont see the problem, how much does it cost do you know and where do I go to have it done for her? Sorry tooo many questions.

  16. #16

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    Yep, it hurts... I don't think it is overly painful tho, the longer the hair the more it hurts tho. Just look up Hair Removal or Beauticians in the Yellow pages... I'm sure she'll only want half leg wax (up to her knees) and maybe her underarms? Just call a few places and ask for prices and go from there You may want to try a few different places and find someone your DD likes.

    GL
    Tanya

  17. #17

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    OH THANKS!!!

    ouch FOR UNDER ARMS, Well if she wants the pain she can go right ahead!!!!

  18. #18

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    Soul-
    You can get a half leg wax (up to knee) relatively cheap. I go to a lady who does it from home and pay $15 some salons prices vary lots so shop around.
    Hairdye- semi's from about 13 real deal from about 15-16
    Shaving- legs from about 12 and underarms when needed (but i am a waxer and havent shaved in years so thats what i'd encourage.
    Piercings- ears no more than 2 until 16 then the choice would be hers. I had my Belly button done at 14 so i would allow that but would steer clear of facial piercings til 16 then give the choice to DD.
    Swearing- i'd rather not but i do and DH is even worse than me so i'll have to wait and see. However i think the f and c words are not appropriate at all.
    Drinking- I would not encourage at all but would allow sm amounts from about 15-16 as long as it was supervised and at home
    Going out- If i knew when and where and it was supervised etc shouldnt be an issue though i would have curfews for school nights.
    Having said all of this my DD is only 19 months old so my opinion may change. I do think alot of the answers though would depend on your independent child etc
    Great thread by the way

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