I found out on Tuesday with slight mucus tinged with pink as my only sign.
I had a scan and found out that bub had passed at 7w 3d (I was meant to be 11w 2d)
I had a d & c and have had a bit of cramping and not much bleeding at all.
I am sad that it happened but at the same time I am accepting and really I am fine...
Now my reason for post this is I am not sure how to reassure those around me that I am ok and that they do not have to avoid me...(my SIL gave birth this morning and I haven't been told, I just happened to find out)
Also how long after m/s + d & c have you been told is ok to try again? They didn't talk to me about anything much and if they did it was a blur (everything was found and done within hours)
And also am I being greedy? We have 6 beautiful children and worry that others will think we are being greedy in wanting more...
Someone not long ago suggested that I was greedy for wanting more, after chemo (long story) I was not supposed to have kids at all, and have 2 lovely boys and am about 11 weeks along again. Apparently I should be happy with what I have, not always wanting more! Of course it is not greedy, I came to the conclusion that the person who said that to me regrets not having more themselves and are externalising onto others, she had the token pair, girl and boy and that is what everyone should have..... which is her problem really. But what I mean to say is that you are not greedy, you obviously love kids and being a mum, I do too, and am so greedy that I not only want the one I am having now, but hopefully 2 more after that!
About the wallking on eggshells around you, there probably isn't much you can do about that, often people don't deal with other's grief (or perceived grief) well, and I am sure that the holding off telling you was well meant, they probably didn't want to rub your nose in it. That is what I have found, many of my really good friends couldn't cope with my diagnosis 8 years ago, and just disappeared, and when I lost a baby at 6 weeks people would look away and talk quietly which annoyed me, of course I was sad, but ok, you can't change the way that they are, just look after you!
I am not sure on the D & C, I guess as it clears you out you could try again straight away, one of the more knowledgeable people on here should know, there might not be rules, just when you want to!
Kate
I just wanted to add after reading my post back to myself that by perceived grief I didn't mean you are not greiving for little lost baby, of course you are, and I am so sorry that you have to go through it, I was speaking in general, people assume others will feel and act the way that they would, hope that makes sense and hasn't offended!
Kate
Thanks kate, I understood what you meant about greiving *hugs*
Funny thing with my SIL is that if it wasn't for wanting to rub my nose in it then why was she at the hospital on Tuesday when I came out of recovery? lol my in-laws are an interesting bunch!!!!
That is a bit strange, hmmmmm. My in-laws are interesting to say the least, but they are a long way away, and still manage to get to me somehow. Apparently mother-in-law was disappointed that I had a CS again, because her sister's son's wife had both of her's naturally, so somehow my MIL is losing, I don't get it either, but then I had a son first and the other daughter in law had a girl first, so I apparently was ahead on points....... Ridiculous but never mind, I am being very unconventional by wanting to have more than 2, 2 is the average in Japan at the moment, but then if we all average what a boring world it would be!!
Take care of you, and be well!! Good luck for the next baby!!
Kate
Hi ladies
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