Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss - December 2009

My name is Anita,
I'm just a girl in MAD love with a Boy name Ron for the past 10 yrs. We been TTC for the last 9 yrs [Update below] I have 3 nieces 1 nephew 2 brothers I adore very much.. I have lost both parents that I loved and Miss very much! I'm easy to get along with but im Unpredictable,Crazy,Happy,Optimistic,Hyper Active,Carefree,Open minded,Creative,Friendly and Loving So to sum it up into 6 words I'm down to Earth kinda Girl ;)
Sorry this will be long i just thought i would give you much detail so you will understand better about me..

I have Endometrios [sp], I have IBS(Irritable bowel syndrome) and IBD (Inflammatory bowel disease) ,Major Digestive Disorders(forgot what they are calling it)COPD@ the age of 30 [ yes i smoke im trying to quit],High Hernia and i have a Pituitary Tumor...I know what you think WHY and she try and wanting to TTC ..Pretty much like everyone else i wanna be a Mama and have a family with Ronnie.
I have had 2 laps the first one in 2007 which the doc scraped me clean and then i was good for another year then on June 17 2009 i had another one with not much of the endo but had 5 cyst he removed them.. cont. below


Like i said above Ronnie & I have been TTC for 9 years with no help we thought we just have a child out of love and see what happens Well after 9 year of TTC We found out i was Pregnant on Dec 14.2009 they thought im having complications OR will have complications but i was keeping my faith and hopes up that everything will be just fine!! As of Dec 22.2009 I have lost the baby... I was 7 weeks and 6 days..almost 2 months Pregnant. They said i had a Blighted Ovum That was and /is the worst day of my life! Its just soo heart broken after TTC for sooooo long[9yrs] then it happens then its taken back from you again.. I do know one day i will be a "Real Mother"


I started to bleed on Dec 26,27,28 and on dec 29 i finally passed everything..
I had no bleeding on Dec 30,31st but started to spot again on Jan 1st with nothing again on Jan 2 and 3rd..


So Here iam on a Pregnancy site looking for comfort and advice ;)

anita- welcome but so very very sorry to hear of your loss and that you have to join us here. :hug: it is a heartbreaking time that sadly, all the women on this forum know only too well. we lost our baby in september but I only joined this site in december, i wish i had done it earlier cause i have come such a long way since having the support of all the ladies in here.
we all share 2 things in common - a loss of a tiny angel(s) and a broken heart... I hope you find as much comfort in here as I have, know that you are not alone and that we all understand. I wish there was a quick fix to feeling better but unfortunately only time will heal and there will always be a little scar that you will never forget. your tiny angel didnt make it to your arms but will always be in your heart. huge hugs to you anita. how is ron doing?? xox

Thanks sweetie .. I have read alot since i have joined tonight and i have learned alittle so far.. I do wish i would of found this site way back when..

We are doing ok just little upset.. i think i woud of been alot more devastated if i wasnt told at the time on Dec 22 that i lost the baby so i was prepared for it to happen..
Ron is ok little sad he was very silent for a few days,he is very worried this will happen again and iam to ...little scared to TTC again but we want to try again[ if that makes since]

Im sorry about your loss to.. i'm sure we will get that chance of holding our babies and having a wonderful family.

Anita Welcome with open arms to BB XXX
So very sorry for your and Ron's loss, I misscarried at just under 8wks too X
I hope you find the warmth and support on this site as helpfull as I have (am) and we do hope that we can make the journey a little easier for you X
I turn 30 in May, and I soooo wanted children before I turned 30........

I have learned that men deal with a loss like this in a total different way, i guess we have eachother to chat to, but men don't open up to eachother, so make sure there is plenty of hugging goin on, and keep thet relationship strong, because as we would all love it to be easy, theres a tough road ahead, (we are here for you anytimeX), things do get easier and you will find more reasons to smile, but just go easy on that heart of yours for a bit and take care of eachother XXXXX

Nice to meet you X

:

---

Anita Welcome with open arms to BB XXX

---

Thanks sweetie..
wow we was pretty close at losing our angel babies..I'm also 30 and was hoping i had a baby by 30 to.. so i gave myself to age 35..
we never thought i could conceive for trying so long and nothing happen then 9 yrs later it does happen but hurts so bad to be taken from you again..
but im NOT given up hope and you dont either sweetie!!..
thanks again

I'm sure ill meet alot of nice people on here and i do knwo ill be back here alot and learn alot from this site..

anita - murraycod is right, look after yourselves, lean on each other when you need too. If i can offer any advice, it would be to remember to just take one day at a time... xx

murraycod - how are you goin lovey??
ric - ooooh good luck for Saturday!!! is that when AF is due or are you sneekin and POAS early? Ive just started my 2WW! Soooo excited!! Giddy Up!!! Im hopeless at waiting till AF is due, already bought a 3 pack of tests! Peek at them everyday and blow them a little kiss - whacky huh!! :lol: think i might test at 10dpo!

Hi everyone else!!! :hello:

Well my bliss was short lived and my gut instinct was right. My hcg has falled from 50 to 8 so this bub is not going to stick :crying:

Thanks guys it does give me hope to see these post from other TTC ladies..and to see your response .:D
we are sticking by each other that is for sure...
sometimes i feel we are hitting :wall: and i know it was just last week this all happen to us.
Maybe im still overwhelmed [ which i know iam]with it all and hoping and praying that we get pregnant again sooner then later...


Thanks again girls!

Murraycod.. I did leave a response to your feedback to me but it didnt post..
we was very close together when we lost our babies..
im also 30 and wanted a child b4 30 so now im giving my self to 35..
Im sure i we can conceive again just makes me worried that it actually took 9 yrs this time
and im sure me and You will get the chance one day to hold our babies.. so im not giving up and and im keeping my hopes and faith so you do the same sweetie and thanks ..

:

---

Well my bliss was short lived and my gut instinct was right. My hcg has falled from 50 to 8 so this bub is not going to stick :crying:

---

oh sweetie im so sorry!!

ohh Sunbeam, so sad to hear your heartbreaking news. my thoughts and prayers are with you xx

Sunbeam so sorry that your HCG levels are falling X If there is anything we can do...:(

Thopes me doin ok, tender tummy is all I can report on!! No hissyfits at work yet, so I think I'm doing alright!!!! (wouldnt be able to jog or run, feel like my ovaries would wobble to much!!!)

Ferrals did your tummy get very tender??? Sounds horrible but I have knocked back poor DH 2 nights in a row, I couldn't bare the thaught!!! :lol: You gals are doin enough for all of us ATM anyway!!!!
TMI WARNING!!!!! I know I will have to :bd: sooner rather than later because I think the tenderness is only going to get worse!!!!!!! I will have to fake it!!!:lol:

TTCLovechild I'm sure your going to fit in with us just fine XXX Feel free to post wheneva, being in a different hemisphere and all!!!!;) (theres a few girls from the U.S. of .A. here)XX

Sunbeam - :grouphug: my thoughts are with you...you were always such an inspiration to me while I was in here on my journey and I am praying that you get wonderful news so very very soon after your loss of this little angel ~ you deserve to have some luck and to hold your own bub. xo
Take care...you are in my thoughts.

TTCLoveC: Take heart - my DH and I have been together 8yrs - no birth control and only now are we in the process of making our own little human (we have 3 angels)...it can be the most heart wrenching journey and the girls in this forum kept me sane. Fingers crossed for you that with the hormones now surging your body you get a new BFP, a H&H 9mths and your precious bundle at the end of it.

To everyone else...my fingers are crossed for you all, I hope 2010 gives each of you the two lines we have all craved so badly. I don't know most of you ladies but there are some who were here for my journey and I keep checking in on you ~ sending fertile and sticky vibes :lol:

Murrycod-yes it did the bigger the follicles get and the more you have in there the more bloated and uncomfortable you will get but we were still able to do the wild thing just had to be a little gentle and as with the big O i still went no problem and not painful at all i wouldnt say i was in any pain leading up to EPU just bloated and tight but after EPU yes there was cramping and pain for a couple of days the more water i drank and went to the loo heaps the better i felt it was like i had done 200 sit ups and been riding a horse i felt tender bruised and battered but panadole and rest heaps and you will be fine the more you walk around the worse you feel so stay still.

Sunbeam- i am so sorry i dont know what to say but i am thinking of you.

TTCAlovechild-sorry to here you have had such a long and tough ttc journey i hope we can help support your until your next BFP.

TinaR-hey thanks for checking in on us.

AFM-still no AF what is going on 4 days late i have only ever been 3 days late in my life could it have been the ivf i had in november i was on time with AF last month and that was straight after the ivf and i dont feel like they are going to turn up i am so h###y aswell DH doesnt mind but when AF is due i am normally bloated and feel like crap i did another opk test it is still a strong positive check out the test line is darker than the control line.
http://i921.photobucket.com/albums/a.../IMAGE_037.jpg

Sunbeam - Big hugs to you. Sorry to hear such a bad, heartbreaking news. Thinking of you today.
Alovechild - Sorry that you are here, read about your tough ttc journey, be positive, good things will knock your door soon. BB ladies are really good and we all keep each other motivated thru out ttc journey and in ups and downs. will hear from you again.
Ferrals - whats going on? positive OPK, no AF, that is strange, did you do FMU yet?? I dont know what type of test we all are in....Hope pur prayers get answered soon and we can hold our bundle of joy soon.
THopes - AF is due on friday or saturday. I am thinking of doing a test on Saturday or sunday. I know i wont be able to hold on till friday itself. I already did the test this morning with negative with first response, i knew it was too early, but still....hard to control. I had positive OPK on 24th Dec, so if I "O"ted on 26th, then today is 9 DPO, too early according to babymed. My fingers are crossed this time, otherwise there is always next time...hahaaa
MurrayCod - How are you? All the very best for BD this time, Hope that magic happens this month and you get that BFP without any trouble. You know 2ww is a pretty long wait. I am on my holidays and i want them to be over quickly so that i can test. Waiting is hard. so I am killing time by playing wii, walking, shopping and thinking about all the good things and eating.

To everyone else - SPK, Matthew's mum, Snugglybean, Emmy, Craftymummy, Dory, and everyone else. Hope to hear from you gals soon.

ric - we are killing time the same way! ive been hooked on the wii - mario bros has done me wonders! and i am also wishing away my holidays! its terrible!!! 1 week left and i want them gone! never thought id be saying that!!! ah well, i work at a school so at least it will still be quite there until the kids come back!!! good luck with you testing! i wont be too far behind you!! xx

ferrals - that line is strong as!! when are you doing another test??

xx

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words.

I just don't know what to think my head feels so full. On the one hand I know I should be glad to know at that IUI can work for us and that at least I was not further along so I am expecting the loss will just be like a heavier period. On the other hand I am just totally heart broken and in awe of women who go through this time and again and keep on trying. When I feel like this it is so hard to dredge up enough hope to believe I will one day have a baby.

Ferrals-I have no idea but I think it might be worth seeing a FS for some guidance if you can.

Good luck to all in the TTW.

hi everyone, sunbeam-so sorry to read about your loss,your signature is right-they'll be in your heart forever,we fall in love with them from the very start,sadly being your 3rd loss will they do test for recurrent losses?...ttcalovechild-sorry to hear about your loss,hope you get another bfp real soon,it is scary ttc again after a loss,our innocence is taken away from us as well i think.we'll all get there together....t-hope&ric-fingers still crossed for you...murraycod-glad things are going well,look forward to your updates...tinar-all well with you?...ferrals-sorry to hear about your friend.I'm thinking it's the ivf meds,hope youv'e been able to get busy in the bedroom....dory-you would be in the tww too?

T-Hopes-i went out and brought a real sensitive one today says you can test 5 days before AF due and it was still a BFN so i am definately not i wont waste anymore money i will wait for AF and if my cycle is still out of whack i will go see someone i dont know if i can see my FS as she is with SIVF and i am not doing ivf anymore i might give her a ring and see what she says good luck with your testing hope you get 2 nice dark lines.

Ric-Ive tried FMU mid Morning Urine afternoon urine night urine the is no trace of HCG in me so god only knows what is happening anyway i hope you get your wish and get those two line aswell.