Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss - January 2009

Toccara--Thanks for the PM! ;) Now we have another way to keep in touch! I also have facebook and MSN if you ever want to look me up on there.... let me know!



erybery--It's probably for the best that you decided not to go to the dedication... completely understandable that it would be too upsetting for you! I'm sure your friend understands, as well! A dedication is a happy time, and if you aren't feeling it, then it's for the best that you use this time to continue to heal. While it's her day, it's still your time to come to terms with your loss--without the added pressure of feeling guilty--take this time for you! :comfort:



Well, finally got my coverline today! It's about time! :rolleyes: I was actually surprised to see it since my temps have been higher this month... there's barely a difference in my thermal shift compared to usual. I knew I felt like I was O'ing, but without the thermal shift, it's hard to know for sure... plus, I'm all out of OPK's, so I was completely relying on my temps. Not feeling very optimistic about this cycle, tho, and I only got a "good" conception score--which shouldn't matter anyways since the last several months I've gotten "high" scores that all ended with AF! :wall: Whatever... I'm feeling a little over all this at the moment!



Hope you're all enjoying your weenend! Big :grouphug: for everyone!

Jen - :dance: You must have sent me the rain - oh thank you!!!!! LOL wish it was that easy. Glad you got your coverline!!! I had a sticky beack, cause this mth is my first temp chartting and im still waiting for it, grrr. Oh hubby :hello: I knew there was a reason i liked you, your a pieces, which for some reason i really get on with!!!!

Erybery - :grouphug: Im glad your friend understood your situation, though im so sorry you had a meltdown. I agree with Jen, in that its still your time to understand your loss.

AFM - Well CD15, and sorry TMI, mucus still watery, and milky colour. We DTD yesterday which was fun in all that heat. Hay any of you ladies using the Maybe Baby thingy??? Cause last mth i only got ferns around ovulation time, though this mth, ive got them all the time. Not sure whats going on, maybe im really fertile this mth.

Good morning everyone.
Erybery- don't feel bad it is totally understandable that you would not want to be there, I know exactly how you feel i work with 2 women who are pregnant one was due a week after me and one 2 weeks before so I'm around it everyday it's very depressing and draining and i can completely understand why you wouldn't want to put yourself in that situation. The day is about being happy for her daughter but when being put into that situation you're not going to be able to be happy and it's only going to hurt you, glad your friend was understanding and try not too feel bad.
Jen- Thanks so much for putting me onto the forum on the abbreviations and jargon, I feel so much wisier now, no longer will i look at my computer screen in complete puzzle and wonder!! Hang in there with your o'ing I'm sure it'll happen soon:D
I was also wondering if someone could explain to me how you check ovulation through testing your temp, it seems complicated to me:redface:
Hope everyone is having a lovel long weekend :loveshower:

jackjack--This is what fertility friend says about temping.....

"Your BBT, your body temperature at rest, is a critical fertility sign because it is the only sign that will tell you definitively that you ovulated. It also is the only sign that will let you pinpoint (to as close a degree as possible) when ovulation occurred. All your other signs tell you only that ovulation is approaching.

Charting your BBT will also tell you how long your luteal phase is so you will know when to test for pregnancy, when you may be pregnant and also if it is sufficiently long to allow for a pregnancy to occur. It is best to use your cervical fluid and other signs in conjunction with charting your BBT to get the most out of charting and to get the most out of Fertility Friend's analysis tools.

After ovulation, the corpus luteum (the remains of the follicle that released an egg at ovulation) produces progesterone. Progesterone causes an increase in your body temperature that is observable when you measure your BBT with a special BBT thermometer just upon waking in the morning. This increased progesterone after ovulation is what lets you see a thermal shift on your chart after ovulation."

HTH! ( hope that helps! ;) ) Oh, and your welcome! I had to find the abbreviation thread on my own, so I remember well what it's like to stare at the post in confusion, wondering :wtf: are they saying? :confused:



rach--I must've sent you the rain, because it stayed away all day long here! :dance: Still real cloudy and yucky out, but we were still able to take DS to the park and play outside all afternoon! As long as you've got watery CM, I suggest you keep up with that :bd: Go get jiggy with it, girl! :lol:

Wow... it's been quiet in here! Just wanted to wish my Aussie girls a Happy Australia Day! :confetti: Hope you're all enjoying an extra day off!



Big :grouphug: for our lucky preggie friends: Easha, Chappas, Theresa, Karen van, smi, issy, megsmum, Tam, Possums, Krystie, jeunushka, joey, fifi, larz, pbstar, tutmae, tina (you've got to be close, right? It's been a while since we heard from you!), Rachel S, Leyza, missbec, & kezzabird Sending bucket loads of :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:


Big :hug: for those new mommies and their new little ones: plc & April, AJC & Samuel, Katiegirl & Anna, & someone we haven't heard from in quite a while: nickster & Zachary!! Always thinking of you all!!



For those of us that are wishing, hoping, and praying for our 2009 BFP's: mollycat, Toccara, WTH, Ruthie, Mel, HannahD, babymiracles, Polly, Rmercimek, Indy, Mannie, Acria, buliej, tempus, erybery, rach, Shortcake, jackjack, & meh... :pink-babydust: :bluedust:



Let's also not forget MO3B, dellydoo, HannahS, TY, Dutchy, Maternal Bride, Emmanue, Caleb'smum, Polly, mumma&bubba, babyonboard, princess, maddysmum, mumstheword, hopingfor2009, firstbub, & PandaGirl Wondering if you girls still lurk from time to time.... we haven't heard from you in a while, please let us know how you're doing! Sending lots of :pink-babydust:

Morning ladies,

Well sorry probley TMI ahead, but me and DH had a great night last night ;) He would like another night tonight :lol: And i also woke this morning to my cervix opened, so full steam ahead :dance:

JackJack - im temping to, and oh my, i honestly do not understand it all!!! Even with Jen's help last post, im still confused :redface:

Jen -:rofl: Thanks for your tip, we used it.

Well happy Australia Day ladies,

rach--Yee haw! :rofl: Have fun!! Saying lots of :pray: you catch that :egg:

Hello everyone

I will apologise in advance for my communicative abilities for the next couple of weeks - I'm back to high school teaching and the first few weeks of getting on top of programs and rediscovering how much I hate trying to stay on top of house maintenance at the same time is always a bit of a head trip for me!!!

jackjack - I can appreciate your frustration - I was born with CHD (congenital hip diplasia (not sure on spelling)) and up until my mid 20s when I thought I was invincible I did nothing to support the condition and would often have migraines and my leg would often just collapse out from under me or become very painful or unresponsive when I put too much pressure on it. I got sick of it and took up yoga and after a huge car accident in 2005 the physio told me that while we're nearly all asymmetrical - the thigh bone in my left leg was way too short and she got me to put two little heel foam lifts in my left shoe (cheap option to orthies) - it has been nothing short of wonderful - I still do my yoga stretches regularly to try and keep flexibility in my hips (it's pretty woeful) but if I go a day without wearing shoes I can feel the difference - hate wearing them in FNQ though...

shortcake - I can empathise with the whole where the hell is AF/don't want AF/argghhh I'm so confused situation - did have 'normal' cycle after m/c but next one was 40 days long - did 4 HPTs - all negative and ended up heading off to dr to be told it was pretty normal for hormones to be up in the air for a while - all up had 3 odd cycles after m/c and then they seemed to stabilise - hopefully you will find your rhythm comes back soon!

HannahD - you are so on the way to fighting this wonderful woman - if you weren't you wouldn't have gone looking for help because you wouldn't think that you needed it.

Zachary's Mum - yep - I'm hanging out for that milestone too - just got to get past my 9 week bogeyman - we're trying to do the whole 'let's not tell anyone until 12 weeks' gig but we forgot we had an incisive little 3 year old observing our cryptic (hah!!!) conversations and she has already managed to dump us in it with one set of friends and I fear she's about to do the same thing with her family day care mums. We have tried to explain to her that it might be a lovely secret to keep and a big surprise we can do later but I'm not sure what the concentration span on that is yet...;)

Meh - the quality of my diet has been a huge thing - I have a completely crappy (no pun intended) digestive system and I have to work very hard at what goes in to derive some sort of decent nutrition level because most of it doesn't get processed properly - I started doing it to control my life-long eczema I've had since 6 months and it has been the answer to that - and then I started using it as the basis of my pre-conception care with a bit of liquid iron, B12 and folate supplement (my main effort in the last 12 months has been to find foods/drinks I can access that will minimise how much you have to supplement - we just can't afford lots of stuff - the whole food thing is starting to come together - god I love almonds wonderful little healers that they are!!!!!!:D) and my adrenals have stabilised which has been a gift as it has helped my progesterone levels. Not the most interesting thing but goat's milk has proved to be a good way of accessing dairy and the spelt bread range has been very supportive of my system and is not brick-like or about as palatable as 3 day old playdoh:clap: You don't want to know what bizarre little sage cleaning ritual I decided had to be done to the house last week to clear the 2008 cobwebs for me - I've yet to see what I welcomed in in its stead...

:grouphug: to our collective of strong, determined women - may :bluedust::pink-babydust::stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy: be the gift our efforts give ourselves...

Karen van

Hi! I hope I am not in the wrong spot. If I am, just let me know or move me. I have never been on a blog before, so I am lost.
I miscarried starting Dec. 8th. I miss my baby so much. I can?t talk about it to anybody. I have a very supportive and sensitive husband, but he is at work at least 50 hours/week plus one hour commute each day. He is heartbroken, too, so I don?t want to keep bringing up the topic every time he comes home, totally exhausted.
The very few close friends with whom I have shared my pain think I am delusional in wanting another baby because of my age (turned 40 in August). One of them told me that God took my baby away to make me realize that the baby-making days are over. So I am sad, depressed, AND ashamed to talk about our loss to anybody.
I am aware of my age, I know that eggs age. Maybe I am crazy and they are right. We really, really thought that we were meant to have another baby.
We would like to try again.
Sorry for the rumbling. I have lived with my thoughts for over a month and, sometimes, I feel like I am going to explode.

RRK--:welcome: You're most definitely is the right place! I'm so very sorry about the loss of your baby. :comfort: Having a m/c is such a lonely experience... to feel such a loss and have nobody to talk to about it, to share the sorrow, the shame, the guilt, the sadness... it's truly a heartbreaking experience to go thru, much less to have to go thru alone! Please know that every one of us here share all these feelings with you! We've all experienced the same feelings and emotions... and even when you can't find the words to express it... we know. I'm very sorry for your "friend's" lack of support... lot's of people are at a loss for words, and really try to say what they think is the right thing... but what your friend said is completely lacking of any regard to your feelings! And to say that God took your baby away to make you realize your baby-making days are over.... :angry: There's no way I could post the things that I would like to say to her about that!!!

I'm sure you'll find that the girls here are amazingly supportive and thoughtful! I :pray: that you feel comforted and at home here among us! :hug: You're in my thoughts and prayers!

RRK: I am so sorry for your loss. You are definately in the right place. OMG I cannot believe what your close friend said too you - that is awful and so not helpful. People can be so silly sometimes. What you need now is support and compassion, and personally I do not think that you should let go of your dream to have another baby. I know of many women who have got pregnant over forty. Someone I know had twins (through IVF) at 41 a couple of years ago. So please don't lose hope yet. You have nothing to feel ashamed about either - feel free to vent in this forum anytime and express anything you are feeling. I would like to send you a big :hug: and say :welcome: to this forum and I hope your stay is very short and that you will have another healthy baby in your arms very soon.

RRK - :hug: Firstly :welcome: you have come to the right place. The women in here have all been through m/c so they understand just where you are coming from and what you are feeling. I'm sorry you have lost your bub. It's one of the hardest things to ever go through, and although you may never "get over it" as people expect you to, it does become easier to live with. There is no right or wrong way to mourn the loss of your child, and there is no time frame to do this within. It doesn't matter if you were only 5, 6, 12 or 30 or anywhere else along, this was still your baby and you had many dreams and plans for your child.

Feel free to come here any time and express your feelings and thoughts, no-one will think you a "bad" person for whatever you say. This is often one of the hardest things to discuss with anybody, often we don't talk about our lost babies as firstly it hurts us too much and we also want to spare the feelings of our friends and family.

I only pop in every now and then, but there's always someone here who can "talk" with you.

Me back again. Will come back and do persies soon but :grouphug: to everyone.

Jen - thanks for wishing us all a happy Australia day

AFM: as you can see from my signature I had some very good news today:dance: BFP- I am officially 4 weeks and one day pregnant and am soooo excited. I have a good feeling about this one - although I know the next few weeks (and probably until I hit second trimester) I am going to be nervous and worried as well. But going to try and be more positive this time. Hcg is 296 today and my progesterone and oestrogen levels are extremely high which explains me not feeling great last few days (lots of cramps like I am going to get my period for last 3 days) progesterone 1400! and oestrogen 8! Gotta be happy with that :p Last week has been sooo hard - alternating between thinking it didn't work and thinking it might have every five seconds - so glad to finally have such a good outcome

Sorry for selfish post but so excited cannot concentrate on much else today!

babymiracles--I noticed you're sporting a brand new ticker! omg, omg.... BFP?!?!?! :hooray: Did you think you were just going to sneak that one in there without anyone noticing??? lol.... Congratulations! :leap: So happy for you!! Sending massive loads of :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:

Thanks sooo much Jen - :pray: this is the cycle for you too so we can be belly buddies.

We must be posting at exactly the same time today! Almost like speaking to you in real time ;)

babymiracles - HUGE HUGE HUGE congrats sweetheart - well done and I am hoping, praying and sending lots of beautiful sticky baby vibes for you for the coming weeks hun!!! well done - a BFP is a massive achievement!!!!

RRK - like the girls have said you are so in the right place. I love the girls here so much so that I have been here for the duration from before conception, throughout the pg and am still here after the much awaited birth of my baby girl in december. Dreams do come true honey so dont ever give up hope irrespective of age. Just wanted to let you know that there is also a forum for older ladies 35yrs+ TTC - they are really lovely there too and understand the stresses when time is not on our side. Best of everything to you sweet and let me know if you need any further assistance.

jen - your post with all the ladies names is astounding - I know you have ur way of remembering everyone but the fact that you put it all down in a post and the status is always updated is true dedication to this thread hun and you are a credit to us all. Big big :hug:!!

Just wanted to give you all much love on this Australia Day - to my fellow Aussies and to my overseas "mates"!! :grouphug:

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY to all the aussie girls, and G'DAY to all our overseas mates.

megsmum - Thankyou. Congratulations on reaching 12 weeks. Thats fantastic news. :bellyrubs:

plc - Big hugs to you and April.

jackjack - Of course it will be hard to be around another pregnant woman, especially one whose due date is so close to yours. Big :hug: to you. I hope you feel better soon.

rach - Hope you catch that egg this month. :pink-babydust:

smi - Glad you're happy with your BT results.

jen - Thanks for always thinking of me. Yay for a coverline. Hope you caught that eggie!

tocarra - Hope you're headache is better by now. Thinking of you.

erybery - :hug: I'm sure your friend understands why you couldn't go to her daughter's dedication. You're the only one who knows what you can handle right now and if this was too much, then it was just too much. It was probably better that you had a meltdown at home rather than at the ceremony. I hope you're feeling better today. Goodluck with the BT results.

Karen van - Thanks for the encouragement. Goodluck with the return to work.

RRK - I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug: It doesn't matter how old you are, it still hurts. You're friend may have thought she was helping, but insensitive comments like those only serve to make us feel more isolated. You have come to the right place. The women here are super supportive and we all 'get it'. I hope your TTC journey is short.

babymiracles - Woohoo! :leap: Congratulations on getting your BFP. :happyforyou: Those numbers sound really good for 4 weeks too. :stickyvibesboy:

AFM - Just waiting......O the joy of the two week wait.

Happy Australia Day everyone!!!
rrk- Hi and :welcome: like all the other girls have said you are definately in the right place, and your friends insensitive comments are really low it's definately not your time to give up. I haven't been on this forum for long but the ladies here have helped me so much. I hope that your time here is short and that you will be holding your beautiful bub soon :hug:
Babymiracles- CONGRATULATIONS!!:happyforyou: That's fantastic news.
Sorry that this is such a quick visit getting yelled at for being anti-social on oz day
hope everyone has a great Day