Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss May 2010

Kitfaerie-CONGRATZ you deserve it so much good luck for a happy healthy 9 months.

Murrycod-woo hoo the jabbing has started.

Millyd-Sorry this is happening to you i know the feeling of excitment and joy and then it turns into heartbreak and devastation.

Thanks to all the ladies who made comments on the skank who i work with or should i say skanks there is a few of them where i work makes going to work agony.

AFM-Do you every have the feeling that this thread is a great help but also a source of dissapointment and pain i feel the need to come in here to get things off my chest and also to see how everyone is doing and give some support but lately i have been feeling this site is doing more harm than good it is a reminder of what i fail at every month it is a reminder of how long i have been in here and a reminder of how long i have been trying to have a baby.
Don't get me wrong i am happy for everyone who gets there BFP everyone in here deserves it i just feel i cope better without the constant reminder if i stay away then i am not constantly thinking about who has a BFP who hasn't these last few days i have been busy and ttc has not consumed my every thought and i have enjoyed it so i guess what i am trying to say is i need to leave it is not you ladies you are all great i just am not copeing so DH and i are going to tell people we have thrown in the towel to get people off our backs and maybe we will get a sneaky BFP when we least expect it.

I wish you all the best for the future and i will miss you it will be hard to stay away but i need to.
And Murrycod you and i will still be in contact via email you will understand why i need to do this.

aww ferrals, do what is best for you sweety. We will always be thinking of you and do drop in to let us know how you are going. Mwah and take care, we will miss you around here xoxox

Congrats KitFaerie! So excited for you!

Good luck Ferrals - you'll be in all of our thoughts. xoxo

I am leaving too ladies, its too sad, love to you all and best of luck.
Congrats Kitfaerie xxxx

morning all , millyd-sorry about the bleeding,hope the u/s gives you reasons to hope,be watching for your updates....ferrals-thanks for being part of this thread,take care....possummagic-my pregnancies have differed from each other,i think your still in with a chance....reet-hope you were able to sort something out with dh boss,we do enough waiting when were ttc,must be frustrating for you...kitfaerie-congratulations,our 1st may bfp!!!

milyd-sorry,missed your last post,will be thinking of you

oh millyd - so sorry to hear your leaving to sweety.

You beautiful ladies will be surely missed by us all, take care and look after yourselves!!

Ferrals I understand why you need to leave this thread. I too have been thinking the same. I think there needs to be a LTTTC thread after m/c and loss. I don't mean any offence to anyone in here and I am not saying a pregnancy loss is any less painful if you haven't been trying for long but when you have been trying for a long time (meaning years) there is alot of different grief happening that alot of people do not understand. The infertility is the worst pain imaginable for me and there are only a few in this thread who have experienced both. Ferrals I wish you the best in the future and praying hard that a BFP comes your way soon and results in a healthy bub for you and your family. And I am extremely sorry if this comes across wrong to others as its not my intention and like Ferrals I do wish each and everyone of you a BFP very soon with a successful outcome (meaning a healthy pregnancy and baby at the end of it)

millyd I am so sorry you are going through this. I am praying that the outcome isn't what you think it is.

Tested BFN for me. No surprises there. Just waiting for the new cycle to start and one more cycle before we start IVF. To be honest it can't come soon enough.

mildez-sorry about bfn,even when were not surprised,it still hurts to see that one line...

I think there's definately a need for a LTTTC after m/c and loss. There's a lot of stories here that I can't comprehend, and you do your best to offer some comfort but I know it doesn't always work. I know I grieve for Splat, but so far I've been lucky enough not to grieve for years spent TTC. I know we all try, but there are some things you don't ''get'' til you live it, so trying to offer comfort isn't always comforting. So I can see how it would hurt when others who maybe haven't hurt as much as you, or who've hurt in different ways, move on before you. I know that I've felt sometimes that the things I say must feel so insignificant, I mean them wholeheartedly, but it can be hard to get across, especially when others have had different journeys. But the brilliant thing is we all try so hard, and we all mean it, even if we don't understand. I've cried for you guys as well as myself, getting the BFP this morning is bittersweet cos last week I was imagining a belly buddies group with Ferrals and Crafty in it. So yeah, there are some things I dont understand, that I can't understand, but I try, I know we all do. So I think a LTTC thread could be good, but I woulden't wanna retract from any of the support that's happened in this thread. And I'd totally stalk.

Thank you for your beautiful post KitFaerie. It does mean alot to me as I am sure it does to others. You girls are great and I do love all the support I have been offered which is why I am still on here 12months on. I feel terrible writting my post but at the same time I wanted to voice to Ferrals if she comes back and reads it that some of us are in the same or similar boat (not late loss for me or having the same concern Ferrals has told us about when she does concieve again) but suffering from the grief of needing assisted conception or not been able to concieve again after an extended period of time.

Congratulations on your new pregnancy KitFaerie and I am very happy for you and send you loads of :stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:

Hi ladies
Sorry Ive been MIA for a bit, was away at Mansfield on the weekend and then busy with work etc. I'll try and write more tomorrow on my day off.

Ferrals ~ So sorry hun, I completely understand your pain and I see the reason you feel you must leave. I will be always thinking of you and have FX that you get a surprise miracle, perhaps when you least expect. All the best sweetie.

Millyd ~ So sorry for you too hun, that's really devestating :hug: I wish you every success too and that all your dreams come true very soon. FX and will be thinking of you.

AFM ~ Still no AF :wall: and did HPT Sat which came up neg. Then checked it a day later and there was a faint line but it could very well and most likely be evap line. Might do another test just to make sure. But not holing my breath. Nipples been a bit sore so if AF coming hopefully soon.

Hi to all and much love and babydust
xoxo

Kitfaerie-:dance: congratulations on your BFP-:stickyvibesboy: to you sweetie, even though it feels bittersweet, please enjoy it!!!

Milly- :crossfingers: for your scan hon xxx

Ferals-best of luck with what comes your way, you deserve the best and give those skanks at your work hell! Enjoy your little kittens too xxxx

Mildez- I know exactly what you are talking about, I have found the infertility absolutely devastating. So sorry for your BFN, it doesn't get any easier but hopefully the ivf can help you xxx

Loops- hmmm...sounds promising, quietly got my FX for you xx

Matthewsmum, Iona-hi there, hope you are going well

Reet- how did you go with the boss? I can imagine the frustration!

Possum- hoping for a sneaky BFp for you sweetie, i loved your bright ticker!

Betty- welcome to the thread hon, so sorry for your loss, hope you find some help here.

Murrycod- how are the jabs going?

AFM- bit depressed recently, teary from clomid and have a face full of pimples now- great! This TWW has no chance so I'm not even going to pay attention to it and will concentrate on getting ready to start IVF.

Hugs to all, especially those feeling down, we've only just started May and got a BFP already so lets keep them coming!

Im not sure what to say.. feeling very sad for some of u ladies :( Makes me feel stupid for worrying so much about DH not being here next week.. the sadness and frustration im feeling wld be nothing compared to what some of u are feeling. Im so sorry for what ur going thru millyd and ferrals :( and like kit i cant begin to imagine what it wld feel like ttc for such a long time. I dont think i cld manage emotionally, u are very strong ladies x

Kitfaerie- I knew it! Woohoo!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!! see.. positive thinking!!!! :D so happy for u.. i think we needed some light in here :)

And loops - You too! Hopefully its a bfp in the next couple days!! Good luck!!! :)

AFM- Well im feeling a bit silly now for making such a big deal out of all of this.. like im trying WAY too hard ttc this month. Dh called me before to say he was working out with his boss what cld be done, the plan will probly be that he drives his own car where they will be working and then when im about to O he drives back for a couple days and then goes back to work for the remainder of the time. Is this being ridiculous???! I wld love for this to happen, but im thinking maybe its just not meant to be this hard.. things always seem to go wrong when u push for something too much. Oh i dont know... I get all embarrassed now thinking about DH and his boss talking about it.. coming home for constant bding for 2 days! Would u guys do this or just say goodbye to may and hope for the best in june..??

Another question i have is for anyone that has been on clomid.. what cd do u normally O on? day 14?? When i was on clomid last year i never took any notice when it happened. If i use a OPT from day 9 onwards does it usually give me 24 hrs notice?? I wld hate for DH to race back for it to be all over and done with or too many days early.
Thankyou.

Big hugs to everyone.. as much as this thread can be sad.. it has made me feel so supported and not alone in this big wide world. Thankyou x :hug:

Reet even though DH and I have been ttc 2years now we have and still do make sure we least 1 BD so at least I have a chance of been pregnant every cycle. The least we have done it was only once about 3 days before O but we still figured there was a chance (DD was concieved 6days before I O'd so I know 3days before is possible even if not ideal) My second m/c 12months ago was concieved on O day in a motel as I drove there as DH was working and it was easier for me to visit him then he to come home. It was 300kms from home lol.
We will continue to do this even if its just once in the fertile period so we still have a chance every cycle even if that chance is very small (its small anyway with lots of BD)

Stay away for a few days and come back to this !

Ferrals I am with you all the way thats why im not on here very much, taking over my life and making me miserable its not good, try and try your hardest to be postive and think good things when in the back of your mind you just know its a waste of time and energy ! if I was 20yrs younger then I would not have to worry so much but time is about running out for me and I feel like I am flogging a dead horse !

Kitfaeri :crossfingers: you get to keep your bub this time around its not always bad news for us even though it feels like it at times, you are young and deserve to have a long and healthy pregnancy and I wish you all the best CONGRATULATIONS !

Millyd sorry its not too good for you, but it happens another blow after being so happy life is just so cruel sometimes, I really think you need to talk to your DH about this time line as you are young and have a lot of years ahead of you thinking about not being able to have more when you could infact have more, I think it will slowly destroy you ! none of us are that brave ! NOT me anyway.

Murraycod thinking of you have everything crossed for you I know how hard its been for you but the light is at the end of the tunnel I just know it is ! so keep stabbing and keep positive you so deserve this !

everyone else sorry I can't do more personnels but like I said its hard being on here been 8mnths for me not that long compared to some but I guess I know my time is running out and I probably don't have the energy for this TTC lark and another pregnancy, anyways had a dreadful nightmare the other night that I got seriously ill and had a small baby that I knew I wouldn't see grow up ! scared me to death and think its a wake up call for me !

So I wish everyone well and will keep checking for BFPS and post every now and then but I think I will hand it over to the younger ones of you and tell you that being a mum is well worth fighting for whatever you have to do its just the most fantastic job in the world and I feel so privalidged that I was able to spend most of my life looking after little ones ! now all of you keep going and remember its worth fighting for the end prize I mean !:goodluck: TO YOU ALL !

Reet- I'm not 100% sure but I think you just O on the day you normally would. Since I've been on clomid, I have been doing OPKs and they are saying I O on CD10-11 whch is my normal time. The OPKs are a godsend I find, once you get a positive you will most likely O in the next 24-36 hours so you would have warning (just). I would definately try them.

Don't feel silly, its just natural to feel frustrated if you miss a whole month, it feels like such a long time. For my first month on clomid my DH was admitted to hospital over the time i was Oing, inside I was furious at him, ridiculous I know, luckily I managed to keep it to myself!!!

If your DH's boss is up for it, so to speak, then go for it I say, it would be awesome if it worked!

Craftymummy-yes you have come back to some turmoil! I hope you still pop in to let us know when you get your BFP, good luck and thanks for all your kind words xx

Thanks Crafty, I wanna be a Mummy so so much xo