Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ March 2009

Hi ladies, I wont do indiviual personals because there are quiet a few of us that are going through baaad times right now. I totally understand and I know it isnt a good thing but its great to know others can sympathise and that we are all real people in this world going through something very difficult. Its ok to feel sad..

AFM: I am running away. Yes..I am leaving tomorrow morning for Tweed Heads for a week or so. I need to get away and my boss instead of giving me the tue/wed next week I asked for, has given me from tonight until 7th april off to work through everything so I called Nanny & Poppy and said "how do you feel about me being there tomorrow night?"

I cant wait to escape, its a long drive (10 hours) but I soooo need the alone time right now.

Hoping Ill be able to get wireless up there but if not Ill try and find a place because Im taking my laptop. I cant bear to be away from you all!

Love you all lots and praying for positive outcomes to everyones personal herdles.

Eliza/Coco (Ps..Coco is my cats name, she is a purebred sealpoint ragdoll, 4 on November 19th, she is one of my furbabies)

Thanks for all your support everyone. Feeling a little better today :)

Coco - I hope the time away helps you find the strength to continue on the TTC journey. We all know how hard it is and I :pray: you get your forever baby soon. Drive carefully :hug:

HannahD - Hope the side effects subside soon and you start feeling the benefits of the meds. :hug:

rhi - :grouphug: right back at ya!

boble - Hope it was too soon to test.

cherished - Not sure what to say, we know the heartache that is part of this journey. We are all here for you :hug:

Theresa - Wow, congrats on the great scan results. So happy to hear it is all going well.

erybery - :pray: for you sweetie. I hope all the test results come back clear and your little bub is healthy and growing well.

possums - I know you must be scared but at least if they have found a reason it could be easy to fix so your next bub will be a sticky one! They found a reason for the trouble we have been having and were able to fix it, it was such a relief. Good luck with the results :hug:

No time for persies but I want you all to know I am reading everything and you all deserve a big :hug:! I got my results back from my BT they said my thyroid is normal so I'm still stuck with no answers. I think now I'm just going to wait until I go back to my OB on April 10th....:wall::wall:! I'm just so frustrated right now!

I know, I know.... I never came back yesterday to finish persies! *blushing* I'm sorry--I feel like such a slacker! Will try to make up for it today!



Sally--Sounds like you had a busy day yesterday! Glad to hear you're enjoying the acupuncture! *hugs*



Rhi--The TTC journey is definitely a windy, bumpy, pot-hole filled road full of in's and outs, ups and downs, twists and turns.... it's emotionally exhausting and someone once said it perfectly--soul destroying. :hug: Remember that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger! As far as O goes, if in doubt, keep on BD'ing!



mollycat--Well, since no one else has offered, I'll make the next cake! This will be my first! Mine's a fave that my mom always used to make.... Pineapple cheesecake! It's the most scrum-diddliest cheesecake you'll ever taste..... crushed pineapple mixed with cream cheese, flaky graham cracker crust.... can you taste it? Mmmmmmm! Enjoy--but hey, remember that most of you are all 16 hours ahead of me.... you're busy sleeping right now.... and this cheesecake is looking mighty fine! I'm pretty hungry, too! Better hurry before my "greedy guts" gets it all! :rofl:



mrzbaby--Sending lots of AF vibes your way! Please, take them.... really.... here,ALL of them--I don't want them! Glad to hear that you're enjoying the acupuncture! I really hope you find it to be beneficial! I remember when I first joined this group, I was shocked to discover about charting, temping, CM, and CP! I never realized the process our bodies go through every month, and the things women do to try to figure out what's going on inside them! It's actually quite interesting after several months, you can really see the pattern in your cycles, and get to know your body quite well.



coco--I hope you enjoy your alone time away! I hope the space gives you the relief you're seeking! I have to admit I'm glad you'll be taking your laptop so you can keep us posted on how you're going! Drive safe! *hugs*



cherished--Sorry to hear you had a rough day! :hug: I saw the most beautiful baby girl this morning at the school.... she had to have only been about 5 or 6 months old.... she had the cutest little chipmunk cheeks, and she had a grip on my finger.... I even got her to smile! I couldn't resist smelling her hand.... and her skin was so soft! *long sigh* I was thinking of just snatching her and running like hell.... but d@mn--everyone knows where I work and live! 'doh!

I also had a little bittersweet moment with one of the little girls at the school that used to be in DS's class last year. Her mom was pg when I was, and I think we were due about the same time. I remember feeling some bitterness after my m/c... you all know, the "why does she still get to be pg, and not me?" bit... anyhow, maybe 2 wks. after my m/c the little girl walked up to me and told me that her mom's baby died, too. I remember feeling like such a *****.... Anyhow, last week this same little girl walked up to me and told me that her twin brothers were born.... I hadn't even realized that her mom was pg again. Another *long sigh*...... after more than a year, it's still a struggle sometimes! Sorry to go on about me... just wanted you to know you're not alone, and I feel your pain! *hugs*



meh--You do NOT sound like an ungrateful cow, awful, or self-indulgent! You sound like someone who's aware of and thankful for all her blessings, and are simply very dedicated in your desire to feel the completeness of adding to your family! There's nothing shameful in that! Big *hugs* Congrats on your new house!



erybery--How terrible this time of limbo has to be for you! :comfort: You and your little one are in my thoughts and prayers--I hope you get some promising results!



Possums--Best of luck with your FS appt on Fri. I hope you get some answers from your test results! *hugs*



Theresa--Congrats on a great 12 wk scan! :stickyvibesgirl:



Hannah--Hey 'lil sis and cycle bud! :hug: back atcha! Saying lots of prayers that you begin to feel some of the good effects of the meds soon!



boble--Sorry to hear about your BFN, :crossfingers: it was just too early to test!



Big *hugs* for Smelly Mel ;) Glad to hear yesterday was a better day--hope today shows promise for even more improvement!



Shortcake--Sorry you're so frustrated! *hugs* I remember feeling the same way after my thyroid tests came back normal.... it seemed like it would be such a quick-fix problem! Makes you feel like you're back at square one.... Can you get on a cancellation list so that maybe you can get in a little sooner? Give it a shot--you never know, you could get a call tomorrow!

Oops, after all that I almost forgot about me! :redface: Yes, Mel, you're right--you've had words with me about this before! :rofl:



So..... really I just don't post too much about me, because while my life always seems really busy, it's kinda like same ***** different day..... so it's actually pretty boring and seems like there's never much variance from day to day! :rolleyes: I did, however, have a slight temp drop yesterday, and a nice high temp this morning.... would love to think that it's an implantation dip, but I've noticed this trend on my charts before without the expected outcome, so I'm not looking into it AT ALL!



Ok, my lovely ladies, short but sweet! I have to get in the shower--today is minimum day, so have to be at the school by 11:30 to make/bag popcorn and sell Smencils before DS gets out at 12:20. Will be back later for more persies for those of you that I missed!


Super duper big :grouphug: for my Friday girls! :heartbeat: you all!!!!

Hey Jen - You just had to do it - didn't you. You know how much I can't resist cheesecake. Good this one's a cyber cake and very low cal. Won't hurt my diet at all :nahnah: (I was actually awake while you were baking it - looking at the time of your post - I almost got up, had a few hours awake last night - maybe I should have)

Good morning ladies..

We got our results back yesterday.
It was a beautiful baby girl .
Other then that all else was to be expected, not genetic, freak abnormality, chances of it happening to me again are the same as it happening in the first place, insanely almost impossible (YET it did....)

So today at the service our baby, Lilly, will be acknowledge and now we can start calling her by her name.

Thought I would feel better but I dont.
Want if this was the only daughter I was going to be able to love? Silly I know, would be hard regardless of wether it was a girl or boy but I have always dreamed Id have a girl and maybe I did but I never get to hold it.

Sorry its a depressing message, just so torn now.

Oh, Sally..... :( My heart breaks for you! :comfort: Lilly is such a beautiful name! I'm glad you got your results in time to properly acknowledge her by name at the service--it's truly an honorable way to pay tribute to your angel! Big :hug:



mollycat--You know I had to do it--it's my fave, too! Besides, cyber cakes are always low-cal and guilt free! :dance: Aww, you should've gotten up--you could've helped me with the cheesecake! ;)

sally - Thinking of you today as your honour your angel :comfort:. I'm glad you got the results in time to acknowledge her at the ceremony. Lilly is a beautiful name. :hug:

wow- you ladies are so lovely and supportive...thank you for all your kind thoughts

sally- oh I am so sorry, big hugs and praying that precious lily has flown safely to watch over you

jen- here's hoping this time the trend on your chart does mean something

shortcake- I know the feelings of frustration and anger. hugs

mel- glad you are feeling a little better

coco- i hope the time away helps and sorry it is just so hard. I can relate totally. I took a week off after the last miscarriage and we went to yamba...but I wish every day I could run away for a while still.

richichi- hope you are doing ok

boble- I totally relate to you also. I stare at babies everywhere and one of my closest friends is pregnant...and I should be with her...even further along. It is just so tough. hugs

cherished- sorry it is such a hard time. It is a huge emotional strain and I cry a lot and feel so down some days, like I want to pull up, but just cant. Hang in there.

hannah- hope you feel a bit better soon

zacharys mum- great news on the scan

erybery- thinking of you

to anyone I have missed, a big hello

afm- looking forward to maybe getting some answers tomorrow. Also am using an OPK this month and just had my hormone surge and DTD, so am officially in another TWW. Hard to be optimisitic, especially with my one and only dodgy tube, but gotta try. We'd love to not have to go back to IVF

sorry - double post

Hi everyone. I hope you don't mind me joining.

Last weekend my 4th mc occurred. It was horrendous, and while it was still happening my dh and i agreed we would not try again as the end result had been so upsetting (not more than before but very different) this time. Our DD would be an only child. And then, after the worst of it was over, I realised I do want another baby, very much. And my DD is proof I can do it, and that I can't know in advance what will happen, my next pregnancy might end too soon, but it could be the one that sticks. So, once the shock of this one is over, we will try again.

When I told my bb group I would be leaving, one of my buddies asked me if I would like to join this group, as she too had suffered a mc (though she is far braver than me and is still able to post over there) and found a couple of our buddies are here. So, cherished1, here I am. Hi Eliza and erybery. I will probably be more a lurker for awhile, but we'll see.

Sharrie.

Hosebeastess my friend I am so very happy you decided to join us and i am still shattered for you after what you and DH have been though :hug: After reading your post I just started to cry... I am not braver than you at all in fact I have been slowly melting down over the last week and now feel really depressed :crying: Like beautiful meh I have so much to be grateful for yet I still want more...

Anyway I think I know what is at the bottom of my depression and I will chat with DH about it tonight... I know I will be ok.

Coco have a lovely time alone this weekend, I will be alone for 4 days and nights and I will hate it! I am so low I don't want to away from him...I think I'll go out to the movies or go shopping...

My stomach is a bit better today, don't think I will have lost any weight when I get on the scales tomorrow... Sitting on your butt all day for a week doesn't help!... Let's just hope that doesn't depress me even more!

Hello to everyone else :hello:

Eliza - I will address you by your first name, otherwise I feel like I am talking to your cat now! hehe. Anyway, sounds like you truly need the break and what a great boss to let you take off now and until 7th April.

Shortcake - Hopefully the OBS can shed some light as to what is going on?

Jen - Thanks for providing an update on yourself. I think about you all the time, wondering if you are ok - sounds like you are doing ok atm!?

Sally - Hun, so sad for you. Lilly is a lovely name. Hopefully the service will give you some closure.

Possums - GL, sounds promising. Definately gotta be in it to win it, so they say!

Sharrie - Welcome to our wonderful group. So sorry for your losses - My three angles will love some new play mates. We don't mind lurking, but please post to let us know from time to time how you are going & if need debrief or vent away. BTW - My DH had a gf named Sharrie in highschool.....

Hello to everyone else.

Nothing to report from me... I am at work tomorrow and have a busy weekend, but will try to pop in even for a quick lurk & hello

hello beautiful BB ers,

:bluedust::SAAF::pink-babydust::stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy::noaf:

have had a cr*p day so no persies just wanted you to all know i am thinking of you.
:grouphug:

Hello lovely ladies I am glad I am not alone in all my feelings everyone else seems to be sharing very similar feelings wow I am not such a freak after all yay. Well the week started off well then at 4am yesturday morning my phone started buzzing it was my cousin she had her baby and then she told me she had called her the same name that we had chosen early in our pregnancy sorry Sally I know your beautiful angel was also Lilli(I had told her she is like a sis) so the week has been a roller coaster dh and dc are upset also we were healing and it feels live another hit to the stomach while everything is raw and I like to think it wasn't done to be hurttful I am sure it wasn't and I probably sound like a horrible person but I so needed it off my chest I just feel lucky she lives 3 hours away as I don't think I could face the family bizzare thing is they were all here for me 2 years ago when I nursed my mum with cancer, they helped me cope I don't know it's just all a little too hard right now I hope tomorrow is a better day I am looking forward to next week I will be throwing heaps of :stickyvibesgirl::bluedust: around goodnight and take care everyone and sorry for the rant.

CHarm that is horrible. Some times people dont think, not to be cruel they are just so caught up in what is happening with them they can't see past it. When its your turn I would use what ever name is important to you. that is a horrible way to wake up. :hug:

Thanks for all my well wishes today.
It was a lovely service and so so hard but a wonderful sentimental gesture.
Very tired now so looking forward to a good nights sleep.

Sally - Just wanted to give you a big :hug: on what must have been such a hard day. Lilly is a beautiful name and I'm glad you got to say goodbye to your angel. I can only imagine how emotionally draining it must've been so I hope you have a good night's sleep :hug:

charm - I am so angry and disappointed for you. People who have never been through what we are all going through just don't understand and can be so insensitive. When you have your forever baby, choose whichever name you like. As you said you live 3 hours away and if it's a name you love I say don't compromise. :hug:

MO3B - Sorry you have had a crap day. Hope it starts to look up.

cherished1 - We all have lots to be grateful for but it doesn't mean we don't still yearn to be a mother. Hope you feel better soon. :hug:

Hosebeastess - Welcome but sorry you have to be here. I hope your stay is short but I am glad cherished1 directed you to our thread so we can be here for you when you need us. :hug:

Jen - Sorry, forgot to say hi to you last night! Here's hoping it was an implantation dip :crossfingers:

Possums - You have to be in it to win it. Goodluck! Sending some :bluedust: your way.

Mollycat - Everything in moderation I say!

shortcake - I hope you get some answers from your ob. Goodluck!

I hope that i dont offend anyone by posting no personals tonight, i do think of everyone and i pray that we will all be enjoying that bfp and so much wanted little babe much sooner than we think but i just need to rant at the moment and i know that you exceptional ladies on here are the only ones who know what i am talking about and how i feel... Please dont be alarmed by some things you might reed, i just need to get them off my chest.

Since we lost our angel baby in Nov 07, DH and i decided that we would wait until the new year to TTc again. Well that time has come and gone and then some. Time in which i was diagnosed with Depression, attempted suicide, lost a family member and then diagnosed with PCOS. My wake up call i guess, was when my attempt failed and i realised that i needed help. I sought that out and i was back to feeling normal again, i was eating well and mentally and physically preparing myself to TTC seriously (during the months when i was my worst, we half heartedly TTC'd if you know what i mean). It is now, like i said, more than 12 months since we started TTCing and i just dont think that i can cope with any more. My cycles are all over the place (Thanks PCOS, You are just lovely to deal with!!!), i have hardly any indication of if i am ovulating and to make things even more wonderful, my DH has had enough of me. If i talk (nag/whinge according to him) to him about TTC and when we should BD, he gets all annoyed and upset. I try to talk to him about it but he just doesnt want to listen. Last month he got all frustrated with me because i asked him to BD with me for 2 days in a row and then this month, well it just takes the cake!! We have been BDing like crazy for the last few days, almost 3 days in a row and tonight i asked him to BD with me again because i was having EWCM and thought that despite the rest of our BDing, i thought that tonight would be best because i was having most fertile signs. Well he said "i dont really want to, but you go and watch your show and i will figure something out". Usually, this means that he'll go watch porn to get in the mood.. Well my show finished and i went to him and he says to me "oh well, you took too long and i was turned on about 30mins ago but im not now so im going to sleep. Besides, i know you dont want it any way" !!!! WTF? i might not want sex because i am all sexed out but seriously? I am willing to do something that i am sick of at the moment because i know that it could potentially bring us closer to geting our forever baby! I am willing to lay there and be treated like a 'FleshLight' in order to achieve what we want...
So what does he do, he rolls over and promptly falls asleep!! I just want to cry. Am i not enough for him, why does he get to pick and choose when he wants to BD with me even though i have said that tonight would be best? Why is this happening to me?

How am i supposed to get him to want to BD with me when, whenever i open my mouth to speak he goes soft (literally!! sorry if tmi)? I dont know what to do to get him to want it, does he not want to have a baby as much as i do???? :( :(

Maybe i should just give up? myabe my dream of having my own baby to love is too much seeing as its never going to happen. :cry:



Btw, Maca powder tastes revolting!

Abbey big :hug::hug:! I'm sorry that you have been going through such a rough time right now. I truly hope you get your forever baby soon and that things start to get better between you and DH.


AFM- Still no af. I'm just waiting until April 10th to get in to see my GYN. I'm on their cancellation list so I might get in sooner. My friend recommended a book to me called Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler. Ladies I'm not sure if any of you have read this but this book is wonderful! Last night I started reading it and I'm to chapter six and there are so many wonderful things it explains so well. Just wanted to share that with you!

Possums--I hope you get some answers today! *hugs* Wishing you a speedy TWW!



Hosebeastess--:welcome: I'm so sorry for your losses :comfort: It never seems to get easier, does it? I, too, have had 4 m/c's, and I'm just so devastated that we've all come together under such tragic circumstances. You're surrounded by women that understand what you're feeling, so if you're not up posting, but feel the need to vent, please know that you're in a safe place to just 'let go'. I'm glad that you've already found some familiar faces here among us.... when you're ready, I hope to get to know you better while on this bumpy journey!



cherished--I'm sorry your DH will be gone for 4 days, during a time when you're not up to being alone. :hug: A m/c is such a lonely feeling, sometimes the last thing we want is to be alone.... are you close to any friends or family members that can shop or go to the movies with you?



Rhi--Hope you have a great weekend! *hugs*



MO3B (Sexy kink twin!)--Sorry to hear you had a cr@p day yesterday! *hugs* Hoping for a brighter day for you today! Then back to the gutter! :hooray:



No, charm, you're definitely not a freak! :rofl: If you are a freak, then we must ALL be, and you certainly won't be lost for company!

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin... the same thing actually happened to me--with a cousin, no less! This was some years back with one of my other m/c's, but she and I were pg at the same time, and I had told her that I like the name Jacob if it was a boy. So, of course, I m/c... then I went in the delivery room with her while she gave birth to her son... Jacob. It's truly amazing how thoughtless some people can be--not to say she did it to spite you or intentionally hurt you (same with my cousin), but you have to wonder sometimes what people are thinking.... or if they're even thinking at all! Like you said, it's like a blow to the stomach... a kick when you're already down... don't apologize for venting--that's what we're here for! Big *hugs* and hope that today is a better day for you!



sally--I'm happy the ceremony went well, though I'm sure it was an emotionally exhausting experience. :hug: It's a beautiful tribute to honor little Lilly, and I'm so grateful you had the opportunity to recognize your angel!



Mel--Sure, I see how you are.... just forget about little 'ol me! :nahnah: I hadn't even realized it, so I'll let you off the hook--just this once! lol...



Abbey--Oh, honey, I think this is something that a lot of us can relate to--I know I do! I had some similar issues with DF, and it's so frustrating! One of the things I realized, though, is how the only time I ever felt inclined to be with him was if it corresponded to O.... and he knew this.... so for a while it seemed like he wanted to be with me the whole entire month EXCEPT for when I was fertile--then there was always some excuse he would come up with! I learned to not refer to our time together as "baby dancing" because men can't think about sex and 'making babies' at the same time.... it's a total downer... eh, no pun intended! ROFL... Anyhow, DF was feeling like nothing more than a sperm bank, and I pretty much acknowledged that by my actions... or lack of action, however you look at it! I decided that we needed to spice things up, and we started watching movies together, instead of him waiting until I went to bed and ultimately tearing us further apart. It's something that has worked for us.... in fact, he'll be home in 20 mins for lunch and is expecting some "sexercise" as he jokingly refers to it! LMAO... sorry if :tmi: Anyhow, maybe you and DH can try to find some way of focusing on enjoying each other's company, instead of making it out to be about BD'ing--and trust me, I know that it's hard--but there will be a day when you actually look forward to spending that time with him (tho it may not seem like it now). I wish you the best of luck, hon!



Shortcake--Glad you're enjoying your book and gaining some insight! I just received a book in the mail (thanks Krystie!) called Natural Fertility, but haven't had a chance to start it yet. I'm looking forward to checking it out and learning some helpful tips! More AF vibes coming your way! *hugs*

Hey all,

Just lurking but wanted to reply to Abbey.

Abbey - there is nothing wrong with you. I think for men to perform almost on command would be difficult and a turn off - you are not the turn off. I know that sometimes this is how my dh is (as he was last night). He didn't want to dtd b/c he was over the pressure of performing on demand and we have been just going through the motions for me to fall pg. Even I am having difficulty enjoying sex, b/c in my mind I am doing it ultimately for a baby, whereas I should also be doing it to be close to my dh. I gently reminded him that there is such a short window of opportunity to fall pg, but I left it at that b/c I think neither of us would have been satisfied last night. IYKWIM. So, we have agreed tonight we will be dtd, but I will try to make it not just about dtd. I will try some flirting and mucking around prior to bed time.
I don't think in your heart you want to give up, but maybe just for the moment put it on hold (harder to say than do) and go back to enjoying each others company - it doesn't even have to be having sex. What about making like a date night? - ie: dinner, & a movie & just talking - not even about a baby, just chatting like he is one of your friends. (or whatever is enjoyable for you & dh) This could lead to sex, but it might just take off some pressure for you both - I assume you feel the pressure of dtd to give yourself a chance of falling pg? Maybe dh is also picking up your feelings of just dtd for pg and this is turning him off? Do you have a relationship where you can talk about the feelings of ttc? This is difficult for me & dh as I am highly emotional and tend to hold back then blurt everything out.
I don't know much about pcos, but one thing my gf did was cut back on sugar & I mean she was so strict that she even limited herself to natural sugar (fructose etc...). This seemed to help with her cycles plus she lost a fair bit of weight (she was fairly overweight). Not sure what the meca powder does. Can you consider clomid when you have pcos? I read last night a thread that Nicilic started in Feb 09 (?) She has pcos and has changed her diet and this has reduced her cycles - the last she quoted at 30 days, but I didn't take much notice about O. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you PM'ed her for more info....
Abbey, you are not alone in this - this is something dh & I are encountering atm but I am trying hard to not make it seem like I only want to be with him for a baby. So hard for the likes of many of us since O is hard to pinpoint; you just want to dtd to not miss the small window of opportunity to fall pg
Hugs babe xx

Oh Abbey, I'm so sorry you and DH are having a rough time :hug: :hug:. But there is nothing wrong with you. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a man who could think of sex and babies at the same time. Perhaps your DH just wants you to want him.

It wasn't until I'd come off the pill that I'd realised how much my sex drive had been affected by it. DH loved the fact that I actually wanted him again. Then I miscarried and now I'm being treated for depression. For months I 'endured' sex so as not to miss an opportunity to fall pregnant. But one day DH said to me that he missed his wife (well, actually his words were "sex goddess" :redface: lol) and I realised that I had been treating him as little more than a sperm donor. Now I make an effort to make sure he knows I love him and that I do want him. Its not easy though as the months go by and there's still no baby. I try to remind myself that I should be enjoying the time DH and I have together now because a baby is going to change all that.

I think Rhi's suggestion of having a date night without any expectation of sex is a great idea. It sounds as though you and your DH need to reconnect. All the best hun. :hug:

Hi, I am new here, but belong in this thread after m/c my 1st baby (IVF) 2 weeks ago. I am still devastated and am off to see a grief counsellor next week as I am having a hard time functioning. Of course I am seeing beautiful pregnant women and gorgeous babies everywhere I go. Every ad on TV seems to be about babies or families.

My DH has been wonderful but I know he is hurting too and just trying to be strong for me.

Sorry for the lack of personals but I hope to get to know you all and be able to post more individually soon.

Possums, not sure who you are seeing in Newcastle, but I am through Hunter IVF and they are wonderful.

ohh... wow. I had a little teary moment then reading your posts ladies!! You dont understand how much it helps me to know that there are other people out there who are experiencing exactly the same thing as me. I was truley ranting last night and this morning i see a little clearer and have a better view on it. :hug: to you for helping me out!!!

For now it seems that i am not ovulating any more (did see some EWCM yesterday morning and night, but now, back to almost nothing) so i am not going to push the DH to dtd with me again. If i dont fall this month then i know why...

Thanks again!!! :D you really are whats keeping me sane!

Hi I would just like to say that I LOVE PACIFIC FAIR!!! :D

note...big shopping centre on goldy *aaahhh*

2nd note....still only spotting and it is 14dpo... no hope for double line is there?? lol

Afternoon my lovelies :grouphug:

Charm I really feel for you with your cousins actions being so raw to what you have just gone through, the name thing would be bad enough if she had just 'stolen' your name and you weren't pregnant yet but to have lost your little one is even more devastating :( I am sure she didn't do it on purpose but really.... "what was she thinking!!!" like many others have said, people just don't think a lot of the time! On that note Jen, it happened to you too....... What are the odds???

Mel1979 thanks for the reminder that we can still be grateful yet desire to be a mother... It seems so incongruent sometimes, I am so insanley happy with DH and my life it seems so crazy to be sad for even one second....

Abey LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to you honey :hug: so happy you have a brighter outlook today, the girls have given you some great advice. We have been TTC since Sep 08 (so not that long) and it was only in the last cycle (where we got the BFP) that DH said once "you don't even really want to, you just want a baby" and it was shattering to hear... I decided in that moment that I was going to keep a close eye on my chat and make sure I only instigated dtd when I had a pos OPK stick and my cm was fertile... I also decided that I was going to instigate dtd looooooong before my fertile days and days where there was no chance we could conceive so that he knows I wanted him NOT just to make a baby. Having said all that we had an absolute marathon in that month we did get the bfp, but it didn't need to be that way, luckly the night that counted was a really intimate session IYKWIM so I was happy it wasn't like all the other baby making sessions where we were both tired :inlove:

sallyk61 so happy your service went well for little Lilly xoxoxo

Andy welcome to our group, you are amoung friends and I am so happy you have joined us to share the journey together :hug:

coco I too love Pac Fair, haven't been there for years but I used to live on the GC and was a frequent shopper... I have decided to go to the plaza tomorrow and do some shopping... I am the heaviest I have ever been (totally depressing) I lost 100g sitting on my butt all week which is better than a gain I suppose, so I need some new clothes... Just a few and a new handbag! I am looking forward to that tomorrow

"LORD, does it ever end"? Today I was feeling heaps better emotionally after chatting with DH last night and physically a bit better 2 than a huge headache started coming on about 4 hrs ago and wont budge!!!

:hello: to everyone else and I hope you are all doing well... :stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy: to all!!!

so the preliminary results have come back clear so not downs, or trisomy 18 or 13 (fatal ones) so waiting now another 8-10 days for full results. Don't know what to think now I guess its probably a more structural problem e.g. heart etc, so just waiting.... Thankyou for all your support so far.

erybery -That is great about your results. :crossfingers: for great results in 8-10 days time. Sorry you have to go through this, the waiting must be agonising :hug:

Abbey - After reading everyone's responses I am so happy to know I am not alone. It is so normal to put pressure on yourself when you want something so much. DH and I tried Bd'g every night during what I thought was my fertile time but it just become so much pressure and we were only doing it to try and conceive. Now we have settled on every 2-3 nights. I know it sounds like a routine but we find it keeps the passion/tension alive for us and DH doesn't just feel like a sperm donor. We also BD in non fertile times when it is just for fun which helps as well. I agree with Rhi too, have a date night or do something intimate and special instead of just going to bed (IYKWIM). Enjoy a bath together with some music playing and a glass of wine and just enjoy each other's company. Every couple is different but it has worked for us. We still feel the pressure each month (don't think that will ever change) but at least DH knows I want him for him and not just for a baby. Hope it gets better sweetie :hug:

Coco - I agree, Pacific Fair is awesome! Make sure you spoil yourself :)

cherished1 - Sorry you have a headache, hope it goes away soon. :hug:

andyk - Sorry for your loss but I am glad you have found us :hug:. I hope the grief counselling helps, I wish I too had of had some form of counselling but unfortunately I didn't. I hope your stay here is short and you get your BFP soon.

Jen - Damn, did I dob myself in? :lol: Have you managed to get a Dr's appointment yet?

Shortcake - I have read about that book, hope it helps!

HUGE hugs to everybody sounds like we all need one and I am day seven after AF which only lasted 2 sad days anyways I felt like I was O'ing so I tried the OPK kit which was positive and both my ovaries are tender usually only one side hmmm I just thought it was a little early to O ? DH and I can only try our best and cross our fingers and toes. Have an awesome weekend everyone although I will probably be on 2mo as DH has farewell drinks 2mo nite I feel like a quiet nite in I think :stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy::bluedust::pink-babydust: to everyone

Hi Ladies,
Hopefully our weekends will be a little better then today for most of us!!

Abbey - Its so consuming the path we are all on. I dont think I can say anything you haven't already be told but we are all here to help, and all been in really similar situations. :hug:

Andy - your in the right spot! If you get the smae help and support as me you will get through this. Im glad your seeing someone, it helped (and still does) me so so much!!!

To all the lovely ladies you sent me so many positive thoughts:
Little Lilly is forever playing in the rose garden with her baby friends and that is the perfect place for our beautiful girl. So So hard but perfect too. We are so lucky to have this beautiful memory and place to go. SO lucky.

xxoo

Hi everyone... firstly, welcome to the new ladies - sorry you have had to be here - but glad you have joined us.. the support you will get from all the lovely ladies in here is amazing! I hope your stay is a short one

thank you to everyone who replied personally to me - i must admit I have been having a pretty bad week... I always do when AF if imminent. I can handle the waiting to O and then the 2ww but as soon as I know its af time I just lose it. *sigh* im sure you know how it is!

sorry, i feel like I am a bit behind because I didn't come on last night and there seems to be so many posts lol. Im not sure if I can catch up haha.

Rhi - i am thinking that the maybe baby is a good idea.. I can't even work out how to pm you though - feeling like a bit of a loser for not being able to work it out :lol:

Abbey - I hope things get better between you and DH. All the advice that you have been given is wonderful and I am hoping it helps you a little.
It is so hard for us, but also hard for our men. My DH since the first m/c now has problems ejaculating! So... although we bd a fair bit.. not every time ends with a "happy ending" - in fact, last month only 3 times in the WHOLE month and I think only one of those times would have been anywhere near when I would have O'd. he can't tell me why and we have had so many problems because of it. to the point where I would end up in tears after every bd that was "unsucessful" - it has been a really long hard road! And it still is hard. but I have learnt the more I pressure him the worse it gets... and I still get upset and it is still hard to deal with but I try not to let it get to me and I try to keep things "spicy" so it is less of an issue (but it still is more then not) - so yeah, I just wanted to share my story with you. :redface: as embarrassing as it is.

Eliza - i hope you are enjoying your time in tweed. the time away will probably do you the world of good.

shortcake - i hope you get in to see your ob earlier

charm - oh no! how horrible that must be for you :hug: some people just don't think

afm - well... af. I still don't have "full blown" af but the spotting has been getting a bit heavier over the past 2 days. :wall: I'm sure it will be here in all its glory by either tomorrow or Sunday. I am counting today as CD1 because it has been "red flow (well, flowish)" instead of brown spotting - does that sound right?
I am going to start charting again... get ready for me ff - i'm-a coming back :lol: does anyone know how I can post my chart in my sig (Like you have Jen) - can you do that with the free version or is it just the paid for one that you can do that? I would love to share my chart with you all.
also, and I probably already mentioned this. I am going to get acupuncture starting next saturday. Can anyone who has had it done tell me what to expect? does it hurt? what to they do when you get there? do i have to get down to my underwear??? sorry, i just hate the unknown.
oh, and we bought a new dining suite - it is MASSIVE. it is a big timber (very solid) square table that seats 8. I love it! Now to find tablecloths that fit it :lol: :dance: I love my new table! :D

*big hugs* to everyone. and i hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Boble - doesn't hurt at all! I just wore my normal cloths and pulled down my knickers and pulled my to up till under my bra. Other then that nothing 'private' showed and you just relax after for about 20 - 30 mintues.

Just found out another person is pregnant!! Who I KNEW was but they denied it when I asked. Probably to 'help' me it just has ticked me off seriously because I feel like they think Im so soft I 'could' cope with the news. CHRIST!!! :angry:

morning everyone :hello:

erybery I hope you get great news down the track when all the results are back. Love to you and your DH :pray:

boble You're such a sweetie! It sounds to me (in all of my expert opinion NOT) that your DH is worried about you (and him) getting hurt again if you do get your bfp in case you have the same tragic end? Which of course will NOT happen!!! Have you guys seen anyone for help? Re the acupuncture I get it often and am fully clothed, most times she uses a hand or a foot or both, sometime a spot on the leg (this is for hormone balancing) other times she puts one in my head and if I have been there for neck pain she will put them in my neck in which case I take my top off. but 'm laying on my stomach anyway. They don't hurt at all, if anything I get bored laying there for 45 mins.

sally, again an example of people not thinking.... The only logical conclusion is that the whole world is f@%&%d!.... Except for all of us :ROFL: hahahaha NO JUST KIDDING hehehehehhe

AFM I finished my antibiotics last night and an down to just spotting, I am no where near as bloated and I am going to chart my cycle on ff just to see if everything is working down there... Than after my next AF dh will be whipping out the goods :whip: and we will be praying :pray: to get another BFP :crossfingers: . Well I am going to do a quick clean up and than out shopping YAY I hope I find a few things to buy... I am not usually one for retail therapy so will see how it feels ;)

AFM: Still no AF.:wall: over it. PLease send AF, doors open.. oh and the windows as well....lol
DH still wants us to have another go. I say its going to take him some conviencing. I just don't know!! I see babies and go oh they are gorgeous but on the other I just can't imagine us with one does that make sense I just can't forsee it. I forsee most things before they happen ( no I am not a pyshic!! ).
I just forsee things but this time I can't and I couldn't when I was preg...interetestingly enough.
Then DH tells me he doesn't want the whole timed sex thing.. but for us if we do ttc it's with clomid and the whole process has to be timed then we have the have to be UTD by september... And DH is never in the mood anyway so I give up..
Thoughts anyone????

Cherished I think you are spot on there :) that is my thoughts on it too. by the time we fell pregnant again last time (like the month before) it seemed like it was all "fixed" and it was more like 80% success - that took 3-4 months to get to that point. And it was usually more of a problem if he knew that it was around that fertile time. DH wants kids too, but I guess watching me have to go through m/c'ing must play on his mind a lot and maybe subconsciously he doesn't want to "cause" it again??? But yeah, we will get there - as you all will too :D
Can't wait till you are back on the TTC bandwagon.. come on AF - I hope it is a short cycle for you so you can get back to it ;) I hope you get a bfp in your first month!

Mrzbaby - oh no! I know what you mean about not being able to see it.. I was feeling so down last week and that was how i felt too. Like I couldn't picture it in my future. I truely hope my body proves me wrong because I would so love to have a newborn again and watch and help them grow! I hope you find your way soon hun :hug:

Happy Saturday to my gorgeous bb'ers from Oz! I'm so happy it's Friday for me, and the work day is done! :dance: I had to be at DS's school at 8 to help with Spring portraits--I score a free pack of portraits when I help, so I always work on picture day! Then had to work the lunch shift afterwards, so finally got home around 1:00--and starved! Then back at 2 to sell Smencils. So I'm done for the day and ready to catch up! It's after 4, and I don't know what we're having for dinner yet, but I don't care--it's bb time!!



andy--I'm so very sorry for the loss that brings you here. :comfort: I pray that you find comfort and support here among us--you're surrounded by the most caring, supportive, understanding women I've ever been blessed to meet! I hope that the grief counselor is beneficial in helping you come to terms with your loss, and we'll be here for you as well, to cheer you up and cheer you on your journey!



Abbey--:hug: That's what we're here for! We actually DO understand how much it helps to be surrounded by others that feel the same as you....I think we've all felt that overwhelming relief to know that we're not alone in our grief, struggles, and stresses that come with TTC. Not that any of us would ever wish this upon anyone else, but it certainly helps you feel less lonely--and in my case, less of a freak! It's amazing the way the girls here can practically finish your sentences for you, because they just KNOW what you mean without ever having to put it to words! I hope you have a great weekend!



coco--Sounds like heaven! Enjoy yourself, you deserve it! *hugs*



cherished--There's an endless supply of people that just don't think before they speak on this vast Earth. The odds.... hmmm, well, Hannah is a statistician.... what are the odds, Hannah, of a cousin thieving the name that you want? :rofl:



erybery--So relieved for you on your preliminary report! *hugs* I'm :pray: for a miracle on your next set of results!



Mel--You did dob yourself out! But given my forgiving nature, I'm going to pretend that you didn't forget about little 'ol me! :nahnah:



charm--I was looking into follicular phase length last month, and one of the things I read said: "Ovulation can occur at anytime within the first phase (follicular phase) of a woman's cycle, which can be as long as 21 days. Once ovulation has occurred the second phase, (luteal phase) begins which also can last between 7 and 21 days coming to end at the onset of menstruation, and so the cycle starts again." I had been worried last month that at ff said I O'ed on CD11, so I looked into it.... it doesn't really specify which days, if any, are too early, so best of luck for this month! Hope you caught that eggie!



sally--:hug: Thinking of you and your little angel Lilly!



boble--Just wanted to let you know that I think you have to have a minimum of 50 posts in order to leave someone a PM. Also wanted to say thanks for sharing your story--sometimes it's the most embarrassing ones that are the most helpful to others! :hug:

Have to actually run for a few, but will be back to help you with your ff ticker! Will also finish persies then!

Ok, boble--If you've already got a chart on ff, then go to "menu" (from ff), then "sharing", then click on "home page set up". There should be a link there that you will copy.... then on bb go to "user profile", then "edit signature" (which is what you did when you made your signature). Anyhow, under your signature, you then paste the link there. You can do a preview first to make sure it worked properly. The only thing is, I think you'll have to change your sig from 4 lines of text to 3--check the guidelines first to make sure you don't get an infraction. Yay, a new chart for me to stalk! :clap:



cherished--Glad to hear you finished your antibx, has your pain gone away? At least now that you're going to start charting, you'll know how to add your chart to your sig! This would make 2 new charts for me to stalk! :dance: Hope you enjoy your retail therapy--the only time it doesn't help make me feel better is when I'm broke! :lol: I can't stand window shopping--I'd rather not even go! Who the hell invented window shopping anyways? :rolleyes:



mrzbaby--:hug: Sending you lots of AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes....



:pink-babydust: :bluedust: :pink-babydust:

Time for a new thread everyone. Here you go :hug: