Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ September 08 #2

Joey Just wanted to say a congrats on your BFP :bellyrubs: sending you lots of :stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:


Mannie I've been checking my cm as well but still nothing. I also brought a maybe baby and though it was a waste of money. I purchased an OV watch which tells you the four days b4 ovulation and the day of ovulation. You just need to wear the watch for 6 hrs a day (e.g when your sleeping) I used it b4 my last pg and got pg that cycle. Google it and you will find the website. My watch says I am fertile day 2 at the moment so two more days b4 ovulation.

Emmykate I know what you mean. With my job I see alot of the lower socio-economic society (drug addicted ppl) and they have healthy beautiful babies and I think to myself WTF!!!! My DH and I would be wonderful parents and give it everything it needing included a healthy and safe environment.

Babyfever Good luck with your HCG results tomorrow I hope they are high, high, high and keep getting higher for you BFP. I am sorry the lady taking the BT was so rude she obviously doesn't understand the anxiety involved in ttc after a miscarriage.

Ruthie :hug: I hope th next two months fly by and your new doc can give you all the answers and help you need.

Everyone else I missed sending you all lots of :bluedust::pink-babydust:

AFM I have been feeling kind down lately and feel that DH and I will never have a forever baby. It been 1 year since we TTC and had two miscarriages. We have an appointment with the FS tomorrow to get the results from DH sperm test and my u/s results hopefully we get the all clear and dont need IVF. DH and I have started :bd: since ovulation should be friday/saturday according to my ov watch. Haven't got any sticky CM yet though.

Hi All
I have been off line feeling VERY sorry for myself for the last couple of days and have almost caught up with all the news.
Ruthie - I totally get what you mean about people saying ridiculous things. People keep saying "at least you know you can get pregnant" and I turned to my girlfriend the other day and said NO - At MOST I know can get pg! Honestly when people start a sentence with "at least" and then go on to tell you about someone else who had a "worse" experience I want to scream. That and the ones that start "I know someone"...no false hope please. - Rant over, Hugs to you honey.
Hannah - taking all of what I just said and forgiving everyone who says it because who the hell knows what to say to people in pain. You are right I cringe at some of the things I must have said to people in the past. I have been thinking a lot about you honey and sending you much love.
Tam - fingers crossed all is well for you and DH - but even getting some answers will hopefully give you something to work with.
Emmykate - I had a girlfriend (we are no longer friends) who smoked and drank happily through her two pregnancies and was delighted her babies were underweight - there is seriously no justice sometimes.
Louise - Welcome and so sorry to hear of your loss. I think stunned is the best word to describe how I felt. Just horrified and lots of shouting WHY at the world. Darling we are all here to support you.
Joey - wonderful news - everytime I see a BFP I think oh yeah that's going to be me soon. Well done sweetheart!

AFM - going to my first counselling session on Thursday as I am not coping as well as I thought. Had a big meltdown b4 DP and I went out for dinner as a shirt I had bought didn't fit right as my bbs have shrunk so much and I could not believe how angry I got with DP. I realised that I was so angry at my body for letting me down and I was not dealing with it effectively. I have also been asked to come back to work but that will mean being in Bris with DP in Syds. I get so mad as when I was pg I knew the role I had and did not mind not working - now I am consumed by my uselessness. I don't really want to do anything and need to get myself motivated. I am going to Gwinganna on Sunday for a 5 day wellness retreat so here's hoping it sorts me out.
Love to you all - sorry if I have missed anyone
Adele

Lou,
It has only been 3 weeks for me now and i still feel weird. Like you i was fortunate to have had a complete m/c so i didnt need any further intervention. Immediately after my m/c was confirmed i felt empty.. i felt like all my signs and symptoms had disappeared and i was devastated. I didnt want hubby to touch me and i definitely didn't want people to be around me. i just wanted to cry and sleep. After about a week i started to be more accepting.. and i started being intimate with hubby again. Recently my nausea and bad skin etc are back and i first thought maybe i was preg again cos u can be really fertile after a m/c... but most ppl advise this is still just my hormones playing tricks.. and my body getting back into it's regular rhythm. I feel ready to TTC again but there are days when i am so depressed and devastated (like today). I still feel empty, useless, unfairly treated by God. I feel like my body has let me down and i am terrified that it will do so repeatedly. I am scared to death of being pregnant again. I had everything to offer, i did nothing wrong, we were healthy and ready for this baby. Only God knows why.. and i think the answer is to stop asking.

Everyone feels differently... and it is all normal. There is no right way to feel. There is no right time to move on. There is no right time to TTC again. It is completely individual.

I am so sorry you had to go through this too. Hopefully God will bring us less suffering and more joy in the future.

Adele i hope you have a relaxing time at the wellness retreat on the weekend. I think you must be such a strong woman to be doing as well as you are considering what you have been through. I am sure your partner is supportive and understands your emotions/rage/irrational thoughts. When you go through something so emotionally devastating it is definitely going to change the dynamic of your relationship and put extra pressure on you for a little while. You have to keep yourself at number 1.. and really focus on your own health and do what you need to do to keep sane. Everyone gets angry/upset/depressed when they suffer a horrible loss.

I keep saying time is the only means to heal these scars... by God i wished someone would fast foward the clock :) Healing is so much easier said than done. Take care and stay strong. Your strength and determination are demonstrated just by your countless posts and warm wishes to others. You are an inspiration. Good things will come to those who wait... even if we have experienced the bad things first. At least we do not wait alone.... all of us on this forum are waiting together.

while i'm on a roll....

thanks for the hug mollycat

mannie i feel the same... like everyone but me is probably fertile after m/c. Like DH and i could probably have sex every day for the next month and still not conceive....... must try and look at the positives though - at least there will be plenty of fun trying right ;)

hello ladies!

sorry i've been busy & havent been on since last week... hope everyone is well!

JOEY: CONGRATS! hope it will be a happy & healthy pg! :stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl:

update on my iui: (jen) i havent had any feelings that i've conceived. the only difference in this cycle is im having very few cramps - previous cycles i've had them consistently around o day til af, so im thinking thats cos of the clomid & trigger injection. nothing interesting!

anyways thats my bit for today - sorry it's so short! i've got to give up the comp to my sisters...

hopefully i can be back tomorrow during work for more persies!

goodnight all & goodluck!

Evening Ladies.

Thanks everyone for your kind welcomes. I hope for everyone too that we have a short stay here :pray:

Babyfever good luck with the tests.

Emmykate Rant away hun :hug:

Dellydoo good on you for taking the step for counselling. I hope it helps with the frustration you are feeling :hug:

Lou welcome hun and I am sorry to hear your loss. I am on cycle number 2 since my MC (had D&C at 8w5d after 10days of bleeding). I felt (and still do sometimes feel) sad! I felt empty and lost. I wondered why it couldnt be and why we could never meet our wee angel. I feel like I have let DH down and feel that I couldnt give him what he wants just as much as what I do. All I wanted to do was cry and have DH hold me!
The first cycle after my MC I wanted to TTC straight away, not to replace my angel but because I just so desperately want to be a mum. My Dr gave me the all clear so we did. Unfortunately here I am, cycle number 2 after MC and still waiting. I am feeling much better though about the MC. I still have my moments of sadness and emtpyness and wonder why my body let me down, but it does get easier I promise.

I dunno why, but I have lost a bit of hope this cycle. I dont know exactly if I have ov'ed. Early in the cycle I had heaps of EWCM but I've only a small amounts of it in the last 2 days. So I dunno!

:hello: everyone else. I hope everyone is having a great night?!

Emmykate - I don't think you're being *****y at all. Some women just don't realise how lucky they are. You should've heard some of the things DH had to say about some of the women he saw while i was in hospital for my D&C. From my room you could see the hospital entrance and he was shocked at the number of pregnant women smoking outside. One of them looked about 6 months (7 at most) and we had seen her in emergency 2 days earlier because her waters broke. Go figure!

Joey - Congratulations! :clap: We need you to keep in touch to give us hope around here.

Tam - I hope you get some answers soon.

Louise - I am so sorry for your loss. :hug: I think empty sums up how I felt and still feel now. I have bouts of sadness, crying, screaming, anger, frustration but emptiness is the one constant. I had a D&C and it was my first encounter with general anaesthetic. I felt completely disorientated after that. Some part of me kept hoping that it didn't happen. Afterall, I have no memory of it. But then there's the physical emptiness too.

Adele - I've been thinking of you too. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time :comfort: A wellness retreat sounds perfect - I'm so jealous. Is your DP going too? It sounds like you could do with the time together. I can totally sympathise with feeling angry with your body. I didn't eat for about a week. I'd been forcing myself to eat when I didn't feel like it due to m/s for 4 weeks and I just didn't see the point in forcing myself if I wasn't hungry. It was only me that would suffer now. As long as DP lets you rant and rave and then holds you when you cry.

And while I'm at it here's some :pink-babydust: :bluedust: :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:

Hi ladies,

just a quick post/Question!

Has anyone used or thought about using a doppler?? I've been thinking about getting one, but dont know if it is worth it??

What do you think?

:hello: and :hug: to Babyfever, Ruthie, mannie, hannah, and babyonboard!



chappas--Glad to hear DH's scan went well and you got the green light to begin TTC again! :goodluck2:



smi--What a positive, and inspiring epiphany! You go girl! :hug:



joey--Here's some :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy: to carry over to the PAML thread! Wishing you a healthy and happy pg'cy!



mollycat--Ahhh... touche! I'm still here, just plodding along... thinking this won't be the month for me, despite all the BD'ing at the right times and the "high" conception score--today's temp went in the opposite direction than what I had hoped. Grrr...so I've kinda given up hope already for this cycle. *sigh*

I'm never going to give up on your miracle, going to keep those :pray: going! Are there no other options aside from IVF that you can try?



larz--Aww, your EDD is my DS's birthday! :dance:

Emmykate--Sorry to hear about your cr@ppy day! :hug: Rant away...You are certainly NOT being a cow! It's absolutely ridiculous that some people are given such an amazing gift, yet they tarnish and pollute that gift by drinking and smoking.... while we go to such great lengths to be blessed with such a gift, only to have it ripped away from us! It's cruel and there's absolutely no logic to it whatsoever! :angry:

I recommend getting a BBT thermometer and starting up a chart on FF (fertility friend) so you can figure out where you are in your cycle. It's such a great help when you actually know what's going on with your body! Plus, it's something to do that makes you feel like you're doing something proactive and useful--but it's very addicting!

That sux about having to put off your internship... I think the world needs more women docs! Woo hoo--girl power! :lol:



issy--Now there's a familiar face that I haven't seen in a while! :hug: We could never forget about you, issy! Good luck with your BT's this week! Always good to hear from you!



louise--:welcome: I'm sorry that it's under such sad circumstances that we have to meet... :hug: Some words that come to mind when I think of how I felt after my m/c in Mar. are depleted, empty, angry, confused, bitter, overwhelmed by grief, and complete devastation. It's honestly the hardest thing I've ever had to cope with in my whole entire life! However, it does get better... it just takes time... and we're all individual, so it takes some of us longer than others. I assure you there is a light at the end of the tunnel--and we'll help you get there! Feel free to pull up a seat and join us on this bumpy ride--you've come to the right place for comfort and support!



Tam--:goodluck2: with your FS appt, u/s results, and DH's :sperm: results!

dellydoo--Good for you, I hope the counselling helps! :hug: I'm so jealous of your 5 day wellness retreat--it sounds absolutely lovely!!



Hey Van! Wow, you and issy in the same night! It's like a reuinion! Saying lots of :pray: for your BFP!!



:hello:babyonboard & fifi!! :hug:



Fab 2/3 Chyan's--Special :grouphug: for my girls! Krystie, it's Jen'sday Wednesday! :lol: Have you figured out a good one for Thursday yet? I guess if you were having a cr@ppy day, it could be curseday Thursday! (ok, ok, it's the only thing I could think of!) Oh wait, :doh: just look how off I am--it's only Bluesday Tuesday for me--see not chatting with you girls is completely throwing me off base! :rofl: Babydust, stickyvibes, and super big hugs for you both! *kiss* *kiss*

Toccara--Sending you lots of :hug:



megsmum--How's it going, my old cycle bud? :hug: Thinking of you and wishing you well!



:hello: WTH, Easha!! Big :hug:



jenushka--Thinking of you today--hope you have a safe trip to Sydney! :hug:



For all those blessed BFP's out there: Krystie, joey, Rachel, fifi, larz, pbstar, tutmae, tina, plc, AJC, Katiegirl, & nickster :bellyrubs: and :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:

Hannah- I was wondering if the whole lining thing was a bad thing or a good thing. Thanks for the info. I'm glad to hear that things seem in order. I'm sorry they didn't give you an answer on your loss. Did they happen to run any Blood work to check for, blood clotting & what not?, Or did they just say well its your first pregnanancy we will see what happens next time? :hug:. Sorry once again for your loss. I hope you guys get a BFP very soon with a sticky bean.

Mannie-Yeah, I have heard other woman getting pregnant with a relaxed cycle. But, As for me I coudln't do it because the fact I'm already addicted to it, And since I have & you have had miscarriges its good to know when you Oed so you know when to go in for your progesterone checks and what not. I did concieve my girls when I wasn't thinking about it alot & I wasn't as obsessed with getting pregnant with them. Its like when your not trying to get pregnant you do. And when you do try you dont get pregnant. But, I found out this year that you can get pregnant when you try as well:-). I would keep charting and stuf if I was you.

EmmyKate-I cannot believe someone would do that WOW! People are so wrong!... I'm sorry that DH is away. Mine is too :-( he works out of state for a week at a time and home the next week etc. Have you tried ovulation Tests? I usually start testing at CD 10- I get a positive. Big :hug: I relaly hope you get your BFP.

ATM-I'm going in for BT here in a few. And, I have big BBS & Nausia. But cramping. I think its already over. Cramps are always a bad sign for me. But hopefully Im wrong and I get my BFP.

:grouphug: Miss you all and often thinking/hoping... xx

:pink-babydust::bluedust::bluedust::pink-babydust::pink-babydust::pink-babydust: TRILLIONS of Babydust and positive vibes travelling your way xxxxx

:crossfingers:Hi all, just wanted to drop by and see how you're going- always in the hope that this place will be empty or, if busy it will be due to celebrations of BFP's!!

Thanks for the thoughts Jen805, I haven't forgotten any of you, or how supportive and helpful the ladies are here. I still remember my darkest moments and am ever grateful to Angel, AJC, Canary etc for getting me through.

AFM 35 weeks tomorrow! Ready to pop I think :-) All is well, am back to work after our summer break- the kids at school are very excited about bubs which is sweet. Got 4 weeks (hopefully) till I go on Maternity leave...want to hang on as long as possible so I can have longer afterwards.

Take care, Good luck TTC and praying for more BFP's...always xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

nickster--Hey! :hello: So good to see you! :hug: Wow, 35 weeks!!!! I can't believe it!! Good for you for sticking in there with work--it's gotta be getting tough getting around! Wishing you a quick, pain-free delivery (yeah, right, but we can wish, can't we? :lol: ) Keep in touch--we miss hearing from you! :bellyrubs: and :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:

Hannah, Mannie & Larz: :hug: Thank you for you thoughts and prayer. I'm hanging in there. Still crying. :( hubby and I sat down lat night and talked about it for the 1st time.. he broke down and we hugged and cried together. This is the first time he cries about all this. I'm still crying today.:(


Issy: Welcome back, thanks for the hugs.. I need them so much.

Louise: Welcome hun. My heart goes out to you after your loss as I too suffered my 3rd loss on 9-11-08. I am here for you.. not sure if I'm strong enough to give you strength.. but know I'm suffering with you.:hug:

Fifi: About the Doppler; I thought of it and mentioned it to the doc when I was 7 weeks ..he said I could get it but I wouldn't hear anything till after 15 weeks maybe 20. Waste of time.. most likely.
I wanted it for peace of mind.. yet my worst fears happened anyways.
It's all up to you.. but if you ask your doc even the sites where they are sold/ rented they all say it works best at 20 weeks and over. SUCKS!
It's your choice to get it.. but that's what the doc told me.
Good luck.. your baby will be ok. I know that.


Nickster: Welcome back and good luck with your baby. Wishing you the very best.


Me: All I can say is I'm hanging in there. Still crying, still aching.. when will it stop??? Dunno.. just it hurts. I have 5 days not pregnant anymore. it hurts more as the days pass.. I thought it was the other way around.. I seem to hurt more.:(
I'm so sorry I sound winy and clingy. all this sucks. It was a big shock..all m/c are.. just I really thought this was finally my happy ending. So on Nov am not looking forward to all the stupid lab work. shots, meds, scans, more meds, ALL OVER AGAIN. But like I said.. ANYTHING FOR A BABY!!!

I'm still hopeful for a 2009 baby. Maybe it can happen still.:(

Joey - Thanks I agree I should try and be more positive!

Jen - Thanks for the sticky vibes need all we can get:pray:

Ruthie - I think it's great your hubby has finally let it all out, good to cry....hope he is really supporting you through this...lots of :hug:

Fifi-Theres a doppler you can get off line called angel sounds, There really cheep and are like Ulrasound technoligy. My friend could here her babys heart beat at 10 weeks on it... :-D Fetal Dopplers. Click on that and it will show you what it is..

Thanks Tam for the tip on the OV Watch Im going to google it now, I?d never hear d of it?.goodluck TTCing over next couple of days will be thinking of you! And if you do have to go through IVF that?s also positive because we are so lucky we have this technology these days. My girlfriend Relle came to visit me with her husband and he new IVF bub Ollie, he is so beautiful and so placid and they never thought they?d have him, hubby had leukemia at 18 and he was sterile cause of the chemo, well he?s now 40 had bub at 39 and he found he had swimmers!! What a miracle!! They got their forever baby on their 4th try at IVF. Relle also told me that her friend in the UK, Jules, is pregnant with twins from donor eggs given to her when docs told her she was infertile, she?s due any day and is so excited!she?s 40 the donor eggs were from a 30 year old & they fertilised on the first go!!! Lots to be said for young eggs ?..So where there?s a will there?s a way, and all of us should never give up because we will have our forever babies somehow!

Dellydoo ? Im sending out to you lots of hugs and motivational vibes, enjoy the retreat, would luv to know what its like Gwinganna have heard and read so much about it and its not too far to go for me either. Though Cairns is very relaxing most of the times, but not when stuck in a freezing air conditioned office.

Louise ? welcome, I know how hard this is for you, most of us here having gone through this once or a few times before. My experience was similar to yours, the first ultrasound at 6 weeks revealed a very fuzzy sac type circle and the stenographer told me it was passing so that was it, however then my hcg levels kept rising and was booked in for a D&C and they then cancelled it because they thought they?d seen something in another u/s which ended up being nothing at all anyway in the end they also thought maybe ectopic because of the rising levels however I started bleeding probably around week 8 and then really heavily bleeding passing clots etc and I had really bad period pain, this was the body expelling the pregnancy. I cried at the drop of a hat during that time, I screamed and blamed God why oh why was this happening to me??? But with the help of my darling husband and friends and this website I got over it, it will never leave me and I?ll always remember our first bub. But it does get better and you will have your forever baby too.

Emmykate ? goodluck ttcing I know it will happen for you Im sending you lots of stickyvibes!!!:pink-babydust::stickyvibesgirl:

To all the other girls Ruthie (not long til november each day it gets closer!!) Toccara (lots of hugs):hug: Jen, Babyonboard , larz, joey, AJC,katiegirl, jenushka,babyfever (thanks for your advice will def start charting again when I get AF for the first time since m/c it?s a habit to hard to break been doing it for like 5 years) stickyvibes and lots of babydust to you all?have an awesome day?..:hug:

BabyFever - I hope your right I just bought an angel sound fetal doppler.....some sites say you can hear the heart beat at 12 weeks...heres hoping:dance:

:hello: Babyfever, Mannie, and Larz! Hope you're all doing well. :hug: all around! Larz, hope the doppler works! :crossfingers:



Ruthie--I promise it will get better! I :pray: that with each day it gets just a tiny bit easier than the last one. You're not being whiny--you're mourning, there's a huge difference! Don't feel guilty for venting your grief, we've all been there! Big :hug:

Hi ladies

Well I thought I would post b4 going to FS appointment to get the results, its at 2pm. I am sooo nervous I feel sick DH said that if his results aren't any better he is going to give up as he doesn't want to go through the pain anymore and doesn't want to do IVF. I :pray: praying that everything is going to be okay.

Mannie They have the ov watches on special at the moment for $100 including 3 moths worth of sensors. Thats cheap I paid nearly $300 for mine. I have used the urine strips/maybe baby and doing BBT. I found the watch the easiest and most accurate. Thanks for telling me about your friends its great to see they finally got there little miracle and its great to hear success stories.

Larz Good luck with the Doppler let me know how it goes. When I was pg b4 my m/c I had researched them as I was thinking to buy one so I could re-assure myself every time I heard the heartbeat.

Babyfever :goodluck2: with the BT looking forward to seeing your results hope you get your BFP.

Jen :hello: goodluck only a few more days now until you can test. Hope you get your BFP this month and its a sticky lil jelly bean.

Louise :welcome: As every day goes past it gets easier but you never forget. Just remember that we are here to support you through this hard time and your not on your own.

Ruthie Glad to see you have a wonderful supporting DH and that you are able to talk to each other. I hope you get all the answers you need in nov :hug:

Goodluck TAM even if they aren't ok, DH will go through IVF with you, he'll be hurting for a while but will see that if thats the only option then Im sure he will go for it....GOODLUCK but Im sure it will be fine postive thinking!!!!

Hi girls, just wanted to tell you all that I am still watching over you all. My heart goes out to all of you that are in pain (both physically and emotionally) and going through hard times. I wish I could still be around more, but I'm covering extra shifts at work for one of the other seniors that has gone on holidays (selfish yeah? LOL!).

Jen and Angel Nuffs - M9iss you both terrribly!!!

I love you girls so much I don't know where I would be if I didn't find this website !!! I have had time to think and get my mind 2gather and I do want to ttc again in about 6 months I think my body and mind should be ready then. I get so sad when I see pregnant women now and I know its mean but I went to drop off my doctor notes at work today I seen a girl I work with who is preganat and I just got so mad because the childs father is also sleeping with 4 or 5 other girls I work with one of which he also just got pregnant too but he talk her into aborting the baby that just makes so mad !!! I keep asking myself why my babies don't make it and why me and DH can't have a little family because we want it so bad and I'm my mom's onlys girl and wants me have a baby too and my mother in law I keep feeling like its some wrong with me I'm going to find a good FS and find out what's going on so when I do ttc again I know I did everything I could to make sure my baby makes it I know this kinda long and all over the place but I just need to get all this stuff out ... this has been extra hard because the day I started to m/c DH had left for training I'm still kinda sad but I know only time and me having my forever baby will heal me and even than I will still look back and be sad ... ok let me stop here ladies again I love you all :hug: and a extra :hug: for ruthie and jen ...

Krystie--WOO HOO! Look at that hot avatar! *whistle* I just love the stars in the sky--they're so colorful! ;) Super big :hug: thanks again.... seems like "thanks" isn't quite sufficient for what it truly means to me! Love you, girl! *kiss*

Oh Yay! My avi is here! Jen, you know I'll always think of you and Angel everytime I see my avi :) You girls are always in my heart :hug:

Thanks, Tam! :hug: Not getting my hopes up for anything, tho--it's safer that way! Hey, you didn't have that avi before, did you? She's looking pretty hot herself! ;) Wishing you the best of luck with your appt! I'm sure once you have some answers, it will be much easier figuring out what the next step should be! :goodluck2:



Toccara--Glad to hear you've decided to give TTC another go... I think it's a great idea if you want to take the time to heal your mind, body, and spirit! I hope you find a great FS that can help you try to figure out what's going on--but try to remember that it doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong with you--it could be chromosomal--I would hate to think that in any way you would feel like it was something you did wrong! :hug: Love you back!

Thanks Jen I'm start looking for an f/s and a high risk pg ob so I no I'm working with somebody who knows what I'm thinking and what my concerns are and I'm start testing earlier both times I got pg I didn't poas until almost 5 weeks ...

Oh EmmyKate - You say the sweetest things, I feel so down and horrid and read one of your posts and feel positively saintly. Thanks angel.
Ruthie - all we have is hope honey and when you run out of your own - someone in here always has some. Be good to yourself honey :hug:
Mannie - I will definitely give everyone the low down on Gwinganna - you lot will be telling me to shut up!!
Toccara - Sweets we are all feeling your pain and confusion and anger. It is great that you are giving yourself some time to heal.
Jen - good luck today - honey IVF is hard work and I hope you will be supported if it is offered to you as an option.
AFM - home in brissy and hanging at home a little apprehensive about counselling tomorrow but know I need to do it.
Hugs and Love to you all
Adele

Hannah Honey - the retreat is just for me - DP has to work - I resisted for a while and felt guilty but he eventually said I am paying for it and you are going and that's it. I worry about him but he is more focussed on me getting well. I have learned so much about him during this and am the luckiest woman in the world.
Hugs
Adele

Hi Jen I didn't even notice my avatar yeah she does look pretty hot. I have been waiting for it to come. I know what you mean about getting excited about testing. I am trying not to get my hopes up this month but ohhhh boy do I hope we get out BFP.

Well my f/s appointment went well I guess. The u/s results were good my uterus is now normal after the operation which is great news. The doc was pretty happy about that. However my ovaries have cysts on them and have been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries but not polycyctic ovary syndrome. The doc said this shouldn't be a problem as I dont have the syndrome. He has given me clomid for my next cycle to shorten my cycle from 37 days to a normal 28 day cycle. So that was a bit of a shock I thought that was going to be the end of the testing for me. He has also given me a blood test to do on the 25th day of my cycle to test my LH levels and progesterone levels.

The FS said he doesn't think we are going to need IVF at this stage he wants us to try on our own again for approx 6 months.

As for DH you wouldn't believe it but his results are not in yet. So we have to contact the fs on fri and get the results so poor DH was extremely disappointed.

Kristy:hello: Love your avatar. Glad to see you and Chyan are doing great. Your welcome here anytime.

Mannie Thanks for the good luck wishes. Did you get a chance to have a look at the ov watch?

Tocarra Glad to see you are going to TTC again. I hope you find a great FS that can help figure out what is happening.

Dellydoo :goodluck2: with your counseling appointment tomorrow I hope they can assist you and make you feel better :hug:

Jen: Thank you for your comforting words :hug: I'm still hurting both physically and emotionally. I'm still "bleeding" and it sucks.. I thought that a D&C removed everything so why am I still spotting?... I did something I shouldn't have yesterday I cleaned this darn place and now I have this pinching pain on and off in my uterus. I dunno if I probably shouldn't have cleaned. SUCKS. every ache I feel reminds me that there is no baby there anymore. SUCKS!:( I was suppossed to see the doc. tomorrow but he left abroad and will see me next week. He told me its normal to spot still and he said if the pain gets severe to go to ER.. he said there is not much he can do now , he told me if things get too painful to take over the counter pain killers. which I am and it works. But it all just SUCKS!
I just want Nov. to come. hubby and I want to both give this another try with a doc to walk us through.. only like that I know we can make it!!
Among all this sorrow and pain.. something inside me.. I don't know.. its like I'm in complete darkness and I can see a ray of light.. leading me to this dream. I have HOPE.

Toccara: I feel the same way you do. It has been 5 days with an empty womb. everything I stumble upon reminds me of this baby... I bought so many books.. accidentally bumped into all of them yesterday and I just sobbed!! Got a call from my cousin saying she had an abortion the same week I lost my bub and I was so angry at her I screamed at her!!!:angry:
I know many women chose to do that.. but I told her HOW DARE SHE THROW LIFE AWAY!!!
she is very chirpy about it now.. I know many girls regret it after she is HAPPY!!!!:angry:
She said to me "shut up you infertile nutcase if I got pregnant again I would do it all over again"..... OUCH!:( that hurt. I mean I probably hurt her too by yelling at her.. but her attitude towards that infuriates me..
I'm not talking to her EVER!

I have been crying straight since 9-11.. every day I cry.. and I thought that as the days go by it should get better.. it hasn't.

On a happier note... I just want Nov to get here... I want to see that doctor and see what he has planned out for me. I'm going to TTC again then. Just want time to fly. Maybe we both still have a shot to have a 2009 baby... but that's not what's important... what's important is the we both carry a full term, healthy, ♥LIVE♥ baby. All I care is for that.
a HUGE, WARM, SQUEEZING :hug: going your way. I wish we were closer.. we could cry for hours together.

I :pray: that both of our journeys end in a happy way this time around. I have faith we both will hold our beautiful babies soon.:hug:
**edited to say*** OMG Toccara:.. So I make these angel graphics and stuff.. did you get any u/s before you m/c ed??.. or do you have a pic of your bump and or the BFP???... Send them to my e-mail with the date your angel grew wings ( if you want )and I will make you some cute angel graphics.. I do digital scrapbooking and I can sure make you something cute to remember your angel by. oh and if you do want it.. Ion top I want to tile it : Baby ________ ( your last name) example : Baby Majcher
(if you want) my e-mail is makunga21@hotmail.com
(((hugs))))
Me:
Here is a thing I made with all my angel babies... just dug out the only pics I took of my bump in those other Angel pregnancies and I made this...
So here they are.. Montan Babies

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...O1aQtjLeBk.jpg

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...55N8AmvfrY.jpg

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...DULua8ojCe.jpg

and here is a poem I found with my 2nd m/c.. I thought I was never needing it again.. but unfortunately it comforts me now too.

Jesus are my babies with you?
I wonder every day
I sit and wonder why they're gone
And why they could not stay

Every part of me is empty
I fell I can't go on
But then I look to heaven
I hear this beautiful song

Mommy I am with him
He holds me in his arms
When every I am with him
he keeps me safe and warm

He says you shouldn't worry
I am safe and loved right here
With all the other baby angels
that passed within the years

We have a special place up here
He thought that you should know
Where the Blessed Mother takes
your place for now until you show

When I hear this precious little voice
From the heavens above
I know that all the angels
are showering him with love

For everyone that wants to hear
their babies voice so innocent and sweet
Just close your eyes and begin to pray
and embrace them in your sleep.


(c) Angela Gibson All Rights Reserved

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...gBabyClose.jpg

Wow, this place is really quiet.....



Tam--Glad to hear your u/s went well, and that you have some time to TTC naturally without needing IVF! :dance: Hope the Clomid helps in shortening your cycle! Your poor DH must feel so anxious about his :sperm: results! Good luck with Fri's results! :hug:



Ruthie--Glad to hear you've got that faint ray of hope! I :pray: it gets brighter everyday! :hug: Love the photos you did--what a great way to show remembrance for your little angel babies! Aww... and that poem made me :crying:



Well, my temp took a drop this am.... only 12DPO, but thinking I'm probably out for this month--- again.... Grrr!

Jen:
:hug:
Thank you dear friend. :hug:I have faith that I still might have a shot to have a 2009 baby. I know that April 2nd,2009 will be a painful day for me ( it was my due date) but maybe by then God has mercy on me and I hope I am pregnant with a happy healthy child on that day to help me cope.. otherwise it would be completely devastating to still have an empty womb by then. :(

Angel--:goodluck2: with Friday's scan! Feeling anxious much? Saying lot's of :pray: that all goes well with the scan! I've got everything crossed that they find lots of nice eggies! Then onto introduction right? Will they do that right after the scan depending on how it goes, or is that another appt? Sending lots of positive, stickyvibes!! :pink-babydust: :bluedust:



Krystie--It's awfully quiet without you and Angel around! :( Hope you're not working yourself too hard--gotta take care of that little :babygirl: you've got growing in there!! Big :hug: and :stickyvibesgirl:

HEY KIDS!!
Sorry it's been so darn long, but my hyperemesis kicked in and I have been pretty much bed ridden until the past couple of days. Fun fun! I'm on the steroids now (thankfully) and cannot stop eating. At least I lost a little bit of weight while I was so sick. My belly looks like I'm about 4mths, so we haven't been able to keep it quiet (plus trying to explain away weeks and weeks of illness is pretty hard). I've always been bad at secrets anyways.

Have been scanning through to find the cycle list but alas, nothing. Any BFP updates?? My brain is jelly (is it too early for that to happen - mumnesia??).

BIG BIG hugs for all of you, sorry for the quickness and me-ness, but typing is a struggle (read: makes me feel sick).:pink-babydust::bluedust::stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgir l:

Hey stranger! :hug: Welcome back to the land of the living!! You missed out on Krystie's :bfp: Woo Hoo!! Sure have missed you--glad to hear you're feeling better! :bellyrubs:

Ruthie I got rid of all my pic's after I m/c'ed because I was so upset but thanks anyway I can't see your pic's right now tho because I'm using my cell phone I find thinking about my DH and finding other stuff to look forward to helps me keep my mind on other things and is helping me not to cry so much. I hate when I hear women have had abortion if you don't want a baby why take the steps to make one I wouldn't talk to her anymore either because what she said was taking it a little to far ... I am not happy about going back to work this weekend tho I have see so many baby bumps but will find a way to get thur I am looking for a desk job right now so when I get pg again I won't have to be on my feet for 8 hours plus I worry my job may be playing apart in my m/c's anyway big :hug: and thanks for thinking about me when you are going thur the same thing :hug:

Jen don't give up just yet I want you get a BFP so bad because you so deserve it hun because you have such a good heart ...