TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 08

hi tina - sounds like you need a big :grouphug: - sorry that AF came to visit. Just remember that we are always here anytime you want or need to talk.

I've got a weekend to myself - well almost - dh and sons have gone camping all weekend, the only thing is, i've booked in for a conference tomorrow, really wish i hadn't now, i could have got so much done with the extra day, but i'm sure i'll enjoy myself when i get there :crossfingers:.
So i've decided that i'll be extra nice to myself tonight, and really pamper myself where i can't usually with three males in the house. We're starting our extensions in the next couple of weeks, so i'm sorting out what i can put away in the shed for the duration, may be a good distration, i'll have to start thinking about paint colours and tiles, and things, etc, etc. Help Angelbabies!!!


OK - for the ones with :bfp: i'm sending lots of :stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:.
For the rest of us :bluedust: is falling over us.

:bluedust::bluedust::bluedust::bluedust::bluedust:
especially for Tina!! and BettyB (Bring it on 'O'!!! xxx) and all who are gonna get 'fertile-jiggy' this month, and for Emmy-Lou (do it do it do it! Got everything crossed xx) and those TWW as well- so that's all of you covered in layers of babydust, all sparkling and looking GOOD!!

:grouphug: all!!
As Katiegirl and I, and the other BFP's, all appreciate that it's difficult or annoying sometimes that we still mooch around here for a bit longer maybe, but we SSssooooooooooooo want you lot in the pg boat with us. I'm willing it and always have everything crossed for you ladies. And you know that I still need you a bit, but know you don't think I'm being selfish or inconsiderate- thank you thank you thank you xxxx

Anyhow, my bleeding has stopped, finally, and we still had a heartbeat yesterday so I am having a tentative sigh of relief today... see how we go from here :-)

Angel- hey buddy, miss ya heaps and hope you don't stay out of the loop too long xxx thinkin' of ya

Oh my. Oh my.
I just poas (my dr gave me one this week and told me to wait until wednesday but I'm just too darn impatient). I waited a little while and nothing, but I just went in (it's been about 9 mins) and there's a shaddow. It's faint, but it's there. It's 1 day before I was going to test but the doc said to text on wednesday to be certain. Now I play the waiting game. My hopes are raised slightly.... damn! I was kinda liking the lack of getting my hopes up!

Congratulations to all the BFP's!!

Babydust for all!!

tutmae--Dr.'s (especially the male ones) just don't understand that it's impossible for us to be patient and wait! There's no way I could hold on to a HPT for 5 days if there was some chance that it could be a BFP! My prayers are with you that you'll get your BFP! Sending lots of baby dust!

nickster--SO glad to hear bleeding stopped! Take it easy this weekend!

mollycat--Make sure you follow through on pampering yourself! Enjoy your quiet weekend!

tina k--Sorry about AF--hope April is the month for both of us!

Emmy-Lou--4 days late? You should definitely POAS! Not everyone has symptoms so early on. Go for it, girl!

AJC--Isn't it funny how we can be so jealous of the pg people we don't know, yet feel so completely and genuinely thrilled when we hear about the BFP's here?

Jodsan--Hope I caught the eggy, too! Hope your migraine stays away--used to get them when my thyroid was out-of-whack, they're terrible!

Katiegirl--Don't worry, we're genuinely happy for your BFP--we know our time will come! A while we may wish we were in your shoes, it doesn't diminish our happiness for you!

maybe baby--Glad you're getting the support you need here! Hope AF arrives quickly and makes your stay here as short as possible! Hope you're feeling a little better!

Canary--I, too, always feel 10 times better after reading all the supportive threads! Seriously, I get the butterflies every time I check the posts! It's hard to explain.... I would be sooooooo lonely if it weren't for all the caring women that are so supportive and understanding here! Hope AF is quick so you can continue your journey to a BFP!!

smilanatu--hey BD partner--wouldn't it be way cool if we both end up pg together?!!? Keeping everything crossed for us!

Gotta get the kids off to school. Will be back soon!

Well, ladies, I'm off to camping with DF and kids. Will at least make the weekend go by faster, as I've now entered the ttw. AJC, I'm remembering your reflections! I will definitely miss hearing from you all while I'm gone, I'm always waiting in anticipation for the next post! Guess I'll have something to look forward to on Sunday besides unpacking and dirty clothes! Anyways, will be thinking about you all! Sending out lots of sticky vibes and baby dust--(Imagine me with a leaf blower!!!) Hope you all have a great weekend!

Do your breasts get sensitive with ovulation? I have noticed today my breasts are a little tender...

hi ladies

i am in the middle of a very early loss, probably what you call a chemical preg. just found out i was definitely pregnant thursday but woke up bleeding yesterday. the bleeding is now extremely heavy and (sorry if TMI) passing huge clots.

i was feeling ok about it all but today have woken up and have been unable to stop crying. i feel like a failure. a failure as a wife, as a woman as a human being. i feel like before with the miscarriage in January it was only a one off thing that happened but this has just confirmed that there is definitely something wrong with me now. i feel like i am being punished for every bad thing i ever did in my life.

i know these are all stupid and selfish thoughts but am just feeling so black- feeling physically, mentally and emotionally depleted.

i know i will be ok and will pick myself up but just needed to get these feelings out.

thanks for listening.

pbstar...listening and hearing you loud and clear - thats what were hear for...you take care and I'll be thinking of you today huge:hug:

oh PBSTAR,

so so so sorry sweetheart...please remember, we have all thought these things and felt these feelings, but you HAVE TO know that you hvae done nothing wrong...nothing you did, either now or in the past, caused this to happen...God just didnt think it was your time yet...

i know it feels impossible now, but please try and look after your self , and know that these feelings will pass...

but for now, know that we are all thinking of you and praying for you:hug:

pbstar, although you are feeling bleak and you have every right to be, don't blame yourself. since we lost our little one i've been researching madly and all i can come up with is most m/c have no one "cause", it's just good old mother nature making sure that when you do have a baby it'll be a good strong healthy one. not much consolation, i know...but do look after yourself.

Pbstar- I am so sorry sweety :comfort: I know its hard to think it at the moment, but is so not your fault and doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. A friend of mine had 3 mc's bw her two bubs and her 2nd was fine. I really think its just the luck of the draw. I know I'm probably getting repetitive, but not every egg can be perfect and not every sperm can be perfect, but eventually two perfect ones will get together. There is nothing you can do that will alter that. I think these really early losses are very common, which is why doctors always want us to wait til after AF is due to POAS. Try to give yourself a break. Take care and come in and vent as much as you feel like doing.

Sorry i haven't posted lately but will bbl for personals.

Just wanted to say to Pbstar - that, depite what u feel, u r not a failure and u r experiencing what many many women before u have for hundreds of years but have never wished to share with anyone else cos it's "taboo". Honey, not any consolation right now but maybe will be in time, this is nature's way. It can happen once, twice, 3 times and more and it randomly happens to anyone - not ur fault and nothing u did wrong. That's the logical side - the emotional side doesn't understand that hence u feel like a failure and that it will never happen for u. Sweety - it WILL happen for you - just believe it will. You have all of our shoulders to cry on however for as long as you need it :grouphug:

ladies, thank you all for your replies to my post this morning. your kindness and support make such a difference. knowing i am not alone helps more than i can even say.

i do know i shouldn't blame myself, guess it is just natural to try to look for answers and reasons when there really aren't any. it is hard but once again i am slowly surrendering to knowing this is all out of my control.

once again, thank you all for your support.

tutmae - hoping that shadow turns in to a deep dark BFP :goodluck2:

tinak - sorry about af. :pray: that this month will be yours.

smilinatu - yes my breasts do usually get a little more sensitive, a little fuller too. This month they have been super sensitive as I'm on clomid, have been quite veiny too.

pbstar - :hug::hug::hug: Ditto to what the other ladies have said. Your pregnancy was something created with your love for each other - the same love that WILL one day bring a healthy bouncing bubba into the world for you to hold in your arms. Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, none of them are selfish or stupid. Keep popping your folate & vitamins, don't lose sight of the big picture because you WILL get there. :hug::hug::hug:

Ok, I know I'm not supposed to be here--supposed to be camping. Drove 3 hours (after getting lost) to find the campsite is closed until next weekend! Then we had to drive 3 hours home--needless to say, DH not too happy. We've been so busy trying to plan this trip that there's been no bd'ing for 2 days! Supposed to have O during the last week, but just not sure. Hope I didn't miss my window for this mo!

pbstar--Unfortunately these feelings you're having are so familiar to us all! It's heartbreaking, I know, and it feels like your world has come crashing down around you. Please, please, please, don't listen to that nagging voice in your head (I know it's there--like a never-ending slide show in your mind) that tells you that this is your fault, and that you did something wrong. Nothing you did could have prevented this from happening, you did nothing wrong--and you're definitely NOT a failure! I had 3 m/c in between my boys, so I know from experience that it can still happen when it's meant to be. I've also done a lot of research on the topic and was surprised to hear how common it is for women to m/c. With 2 of my m/c I was POAS the day that I was supposed to start, got my BFP, then m/c within a week. My dr. told me that had I not been trying, I wouldn't have taken the HPT, and I would've just thought that my period was late. He said that most women that start their cycle late are actually having a m/c and don't even know it! I don't know if there's any truth to that, but it did help me to feel a little more "normal". My heart truly breaks for you--the "black" feelings, the emptiness, I know all too well. I think we all do. Though it won't go away, the pain will lessen over time, I promise. Just know that we're all here for you and we all care about you!

:computer: Grrr. I just spent ages typing a post and then ping! It all dissappeared!

PbStar.:hug: I am so sorry for your painful and unwanted news. Take your time to heal, be selfish (it's allowed) and remember that this is most certainly not your fault. You are NOT a failure. Plenty of women who suffer more than one pregnancy loss go on to have healthy babies later. You and I will join their number really soon, I'm sure of it. Take Care.
Jen:doh: Campsite closed? Familiar story! I once travelled many miles on a bumpy bus with an enormous rucksack only to find that the campsite had been closed for 3 years! Our guidebook was out of date! I hope that you managed to catch the egg. The distration from TTC may have helped (I always think that if you concentrate on something you want to happen, it is less likely to than if you are 'not looking!')
Tina. Sorry about AF. Our cycles must be almost in synch now- what CD are you on?
Mollycat- hope you enjoyed the pampering
Jodsan, Thanks for the advice- I didnt know those swimmers could survive for so long! I agree with panadol, by the way!
Emmylou and Tutmae :crossfingers: For a BFP really soon
Nickster- Glad to hear that bub is behaving. Enjoy the rest of your preg. I bet you cant wait to feel those somersaults ( At 3am and 4am and 5am...!:lol:)

AFM- AF is packing her bags, but is not quite out of the door yet. I have been spoiling myself today with shopping, lunch with a friend and a hair cut- oh, it's a life of leisure! Take care everyone.

Hi Canary, well, im on CD7 at the moment, and AF has gone for another month...is that where you are? Ive decided not to temp this month, and just pull back from the stress of monitoring...DH and i decided it was all too much pressure, so we are just going to try and relax and see what happens....:crossfingers:

jen805: how irritating! i guess that i was a bit of a distraction for you anyway!

pbstar: remember we are all here and still thinking of you...look after yourself...its amazing how prevalent this terrible thing really is...

Well I purchased 4 HPT's yesterday..did one last night and another this morning and both a BFN...not even the slightest line!!! sooo I presume AF is still to arrive and my body is still out of whack from m/c...this is such an emotional process, I thought I was dealing with everything really well but have cried with frustration a couple of times this weekend!!! I can't really tell anyone close to me how I really (only because I don't want to upset them) feel except you wonderful ladies on here!!! I did have my hopes up as you can see...I think constantly everyday about my angel baby and am I pregnant and temping etc etc...I think I'm going to take a step back from it all and let nature take its course instead of trying to force something to happen that I want so much too!!
Thanks for listening..

Just a quick question ladies:
any one tried using preseed? any comments, thoughts etc? im thinking of giving it a go this month..so feedback would be great, thank you :)

Tina - I gave the preseed a go this month so we'll know in a week or so if it made a difference. When I have been googling I have heard a lot of good stories about people getting pregnant first month of using it. Worth a try I think.

God, sick as a dog this weekend, the boys had a tummy bug this week and it seems I have picked it up. No vomiting or diarrhea for me (DH and DS did), just severe stomach cramps and nausea, kind of wish I would throw up to get it out of my system. Hope its not going to affect my chance of implantation :doh:

Jodsan--Hope you're feeling better!

Emmy-Lou--So sorry about your BFN's :(

tina k--Wish it could've been more of a distraction! Now I'm stuck sitting around the house with nothing to do but think, think, think!!! GRRRRRRR!!! Taking a break from the monitoring is probably just what you need! I hope it helps! Never heard of preseed, so I have no input on that--although now I'm curious, so I have some homework to do!

Canary--good for you for spoiling yourself! Glad to hear AF almost gone!

Hope everyone's having a great weekend!

Tina K - I used it a few times, i got some samples from LC when i got my pregnancy tests. I have been trying for 8 months now since my last m/c and still nothing.
The preseed was ok, not sticky or anything which was good, but im not pregnant so it didnt work miracles for me. I wouldnt say anything bad about it though.
sorry not much help, but better than nothing i guess.

Best of luck
treelo

hey ladies - i haven't posted in awhile in this thread. well actuallyi haven't posted all that much in any thread. i have been lurking though. i am exactly half way through my 2 week wait. gonna try a few personals.

Tina K - i never heard of preseed until I came to this site. sorry i can't be any help.

Canary - spoil away. you deserve it.

jodsan - sorry to here about your stomach bug.

Jen - sorry about the camping trip. DH has ben trying to get me to go camping for years. the thought of bears terrifies me.

hello to all I have missed. will try to keep up. good luck with BFPs to everyone

Barbara

Hi ladies,

I'm a couple of months past my missed miscarriage, but not the heartache that goes along with it. I still check into BB occassionally but I check in and leave again pretty quickly as I can't stand being around all these pregnant women..totally selfish but I offer no excuses, it just hurts too much....

To make matters worse, my husband works away for 2 months at a time with 1 month home with me. I ovulated for the first time since my D&C about a week after he left back to work and I have been pretty miserable since.

I feel totally sorry for myself and can completely sympathise with what the rest of you lovely ladies are going through. I'm not going to be a regular contributor but I will be lurking so best of luck ladies and I really and truly hope that you get the BFPs that you are wishing for.

Love Charlie x

Chalalan--So sorry for your heartache, I completely understand how difficult it can be. Even if you don't contribute to any posts, I'm sure it must still be helpful to read what others are writing. I can imagine how hard it would be to have DH away--not only during O, but for 2 mo's at a time! Remember we're here if/when you need us!

Anthonysmom--The thought of bears terrifies me, also, but I've done a lot of camping and have never seen a bear! (Better knock on wood!) Although, I must admit, DF told me that there are many bears at the place that we were supposed to go camping, but we've been there many times and never saw one. We do see lots of men driving around with big shotguns looking for them, though! Hope the rest of your tww flies by--I'm only 3 days into my tww, and feeling like it's going very slowly....

treelo--looks like we're cycle buddies!

pbstar--hope your feeling ok! You're in my thoughts!

Sending a big hello to everyone else: AJC, bettyboop, JMG (hope your appt. goes well tomorrow), nickster, Natty, Trac, Magda, Katiegirl, MaryM.,tina k, mmteacher, Jodsan, Emmy-Lou, MelA,plc, ll80,tempus, Canary, Mollycat,(Whew! Is that everyone? Probably not... Sorry if I missed anyone!) Hope you're all having a great weekend!

Darn it, I knew I forgot some of you--so sorry! Hi to smilanatu--how could I forget my BD partner??? Tutmae--how's that line looking now? Hope it's good news... Angel babies & maybe baby, and Seenabeena--thinking of you all! There's so many of us here (28 at last count, and hoping I still didn't forget anyone!), so I guess it would be hard for anyone to remember everyone! Sending big hugs, sticky vibes, and baby dust!

pbstar...I am so sorry for your loss hon...don't become depressed as the others have already told you unfortuantely I don't think we are supposed to know about "early" m/c...when we are so very desperate to conceive we are testing earlier and finding out sooner...doesn't make the loss any easier...I'm thinking about you be strong!

:) Hi jen...wow...so much for camping right? Here's hoping we caught the egg last week...

To the rest of the wonderful ladies...continue enjoying your weekend!!!

This is going to be a lame attempt at personals only cos i am not going to be able to cover everyone but i do want you to know that i read all ur posts and empathise with and understand what ur all going thru.

Canary - been meaning to post and tell u how sorry i was to hear u got AF - the wine was had in ur honor, sweet!!! So now we both focus on BFPs for the both of us next cycle, right?

jen - way to go on the head count!!! That is a lot of lovely ladies going thru lots of ups and downs, isn't it? :( Hope u r ok, hun!

Chalalan - welcome hun! I'd say the more the merrier but doesn't sound right of course. Lots of support to go around is what i actually mean. So sorry to hear of ur loss, we understand :hug:

anthonysmom - i know what u mean about posting. Sometimes i am so on top of it but sometimes all i can manage to do is lurk and read. I wish u the best of luck this cycle hun!!

jodsan - sweet! hope ur feelin better.....

tina - yeah have used pre-seed - feels really natural and easy to apply - but only used it one cycle before i had to wait to TTC and obviously it didn't work that cycle. Will use it again this cycle tho for what it is worth....

Huge hello and hugs to the remaining 20-odd in here - each of you is so important to me as i am learning from your experiences and your strength every day.

PS - hey bday buddy - hope ur ok....

Hi ladies, I've been lurking (not like me, I know). But we are in the end-of-the-school-year crunch time. Now that it's April, my kids' school projects and homework are more intense, their activities are coming to a close with baseball games and recitals, and a lot less ME time! Can't wait until June...

But just a general shout out to our pregnant ladies (you're all such an inspiration) and sending sympathies to the newbies here, hope your stay is very short.

Someday I'll get to contribute more.

Well Im out of contention for a xmas baby..AF arrived this morning...
Here's to a New Years 2009 bub!!!
:pink-babydust: and :stickyvibesgirl: for everyone...

oxoxox

emmy-lou - so very sorry hun!! work on carrying around that in-built xmas pressie on xmas day :) take care sweet

Tempus - great to hear from u - keep well!!

Emmy-Lou--Sorry to hear about AF :( We'll all have fat tummies for Christmas and beautiful New Year's babies!

Time for a new thread ladies. Here you go, and all the best :)