Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage April '08

:cheer: Yay Katiegirl!!!! So pleased your little one is doing all the right things.

Big big hugs Hammi:hug:

hey everyone -
this is a early morning visit to catch up on everyone.
Katie -i thought you had another scan coming through so i am glad it was yesterday and stopped me wondering. I have my 12 week scan (which will be closer to 13 weeks) on monday and if all is well i will add my ticker then. (if i can, i am USELESS at computers!)
Glad your bubs is going well and continuing to give you comfort. you will miss the ultrasounds when they are'nt weekly anymore! I am 12 weeks today and nothinbg terrible to report so i am slowing growing a bit of hope! Alomost throught the first trimester - seems so strange! I feel like it has gone so slowly but so quick! I so agree with the 20 week mark -i think in my mind that has more importance as it is the halfway mark. It will be past when we lost Jack and I think will be a very postive move forward for us all.
Barbara -yay! another step forward, i am very excited for you and hope this is bringing you alot of peace of mind. I hope the spotting stops for you! please take care and rest up!
jen - keeping fingers crossed for you and sending you loads of hugs!
hammi -really hope you are ok! :hug:
simba -hi to you too! have'nt lurked at the preg forum lately so will have to see if you have posted there!
take care guys!
xx

Thank you for all your hugs and warm words. You are all such a comfort to me. The feelings I express here I can only do so to you guys and DH. Sometimes I tell my family or close friends but I don't think you can understand what this feels like unless you've been there... and I hope to God no one else I know will have to go through this.

Katie, I think I will be as "crazy" as you. As soon as I heard that you were doing weekly scans, I thought that's what I'll ask for too. That's very reasonable of your ob not to charge you extra for the weekly consults and scans. I love looking at your ticker and seeing the weeks getting on.

Jo, I'm looking forward to seeing your ticker next week. Oh gosh, you must be holding your breath waiting for your scan. Will you scan in your pict to share with us?

Barbara, I hope your spotting behaves itself so you can relax more into your pregnancy and enjoy being mummy to Evie. What you said makes so much sense... I just hope I have the sense to take your advice and listen to my body and mind.

So Jen, are you still in your 2WW? Any feelings about how you're going? You are such a positive person, I'm glad you found this forum so I can benefit from your support :-)

Hi Flowerchild!

hey katie!
I am sure it was you a few posts back asking about a good nights sleep etc. Look into the future to you growing a nice big belly,heres a thought, i have one of those body pillows. it was given to me by one of the girls at work for preg #1 and was fantastic as you can lay your body weight into it any way you like and you feel supported. I saw k-mart has them on sale as of today so just thought i would mention it!I have used it in between as a really great long pillow to go along my bed as a decoration as i have a satin pillowcase on it!
x

Hi Jo - thanks for the info. I am thinking of getting a wrap around pillow as I seem to roll onto my back during the night and wake up uncomfortable. I will look at the body pillow as well.
I can not wait to hear your news after the 12 week scan. I am sure it will be good.

Hammi - I think it is reasonable to ask for whatever you need to help keep your sanity during a preg. I know weekly scans would not work for some people, but for DH and I they are what helps us a the moment. Once we get past 20 weeks I am not sure what we will decide to do. It was actually my ob that first suggested the weekly scans, and once he said it we decided that would work for us.
You know, I was very scared of adding a ticker, but once I got the courage up to do it, I now also love watching it move forward. For me, each week now after 15 is really a new experience. As Nathaniel (unknowingly) passed at 15 weeks, it means that from here forward I will experience new things, which is quite nice.

As for me, I am feeling okay. i have had a lot of stretching pain low in my pelvis which is to be expected, but I have also been (TMI) constipated the last 2 days, so the pain has been a bit worse. Rationally I know why this is happening, but I still find myself analysing the pain and worrying! Aaaghhh so I am going to eat cereal with extra fibre sprinkled on this morning! I hope that helps. I am also flying to Brisbane tonight to visit my family and DH won't be coming as he has to study for an upcoming exam. We are both quite clingy with each other about it, and I have actually gotten anxious about leaving him! Considering that he and I did a long distance relationship for close to 2 years, this is quite unexpected. I think it is the idea of me being pregnant and being so far away from each other. It is also in the back of my mind that last time I went to Brisbane I was 6 weeks and had a small amount of spotting. So fingers crossed all goes well and is an uneventful trip.

Katiegirl--Glad the recent scan went well and you got to see that healthy :heartbeat: again! Still no news on the sex, or is it a secret? I'm sure all your future scans will be just as comforting and reassuring, and will help keep your mind at ease. I can't wait until you get past that 20 week mark--I just think once you get past that, you'll enjoy your pregnancy so much more!


jo--So excited for you to have your scan, as well! I feel like I should know the answer to this already, but is this going to be your first one? Either way, it will be a comfort and give you some peace of mind to see that healthy heartbeat! I can't wait to see your ticker!


Hi Hammi, thanks for asking about me! I could sense in your post that you weren't as down as you were last time you posted, it will get easier everyday! Of course, you'll still have down days, but they'll become fewer and farther between! :hug: I agree that this is a very comforting place to be during these times, I don't know what I would've done without the friends I've made here at BB! I am still in the TWW, but my cycle's being a little tricky this time around, so it may end up being a 3WW for me this cycle--well, hopefully it will end it a BFP instead! I'm supposed to test on Sunday, but I just don't know, I'm just going to see how things go. I'm trying to be less uptight about it this month, and I've done pretty good so far, but at times it's a struggle! How's it going with the naturopath?

Katiegirl--We must have been posting at the same time! Enjoy your family and your trip to Brisbane! Have a safe flight!

Hi Jen. Wow a 3WW! Actually I made myself a 3WW wait as I refused to test...I can't wait to hear what the outcome is for you. I honestly believe that these babies come to us at exactly the right time, and we may not even acknowledge that as we want them immediately, but I think there is some reason for the timings. So your baby will come to you when it thinks the time is right, so fingers crossed that it is now!
As for the sex, we don't know yet, but we have decided to find out at th 19 week scan. Last time we didn't want to know, but we have decided that this time around we want to know our baby as much as we can. I am a little disappointed that we will find out, but at the same time it will be nice to know. DH thinks it is a girl and I am thinking a boy - so we have a bet that whoever loses has to give the winner a 15 min massage for a week. I really hope I don't lose as I hate giving massages (but love receiving them). DH said we won't tell people once we know the sex but I don't know if I can keep it a secret. Plus my sister has saved all her nice baby clothes for me, and said if I tell her it means she can send them ahead of time! I think it is her just trying to find out.

Also forgot to add that the other day I had a dream that I gave birth (well they actually just appeared) to twin boys! One had a full head of dark hair, and one was unusually a red head. My DH has also had a dream that I gave birth and he was holding and cuddling a baby boy with dark hair. Sometimes I wonder if this is actually Nathaniel, but it has furthered my resolve that this is a boy. But then again...I could be wrong!

hey guys!
i had a surprise phone call from the hospital today. Amanda who i have mentioned previously as our wonderwoman at the hosptial (she is head of the loss and miscarriage unit) left a message on my phone while i was working to say she was thinking of us in this pregnancy (not sure how she found out, has obviously come across our admission somehow) and was wondering how we had been since we lost Jack and looked forward to seeing us down there when we have our ultrasounds etc. She said she was there any time we needed to talk to someone in this pregnancy and hoped to see us in a few months time. It was a really nice thing to do and when i told mum she said she has almost gone out of her way and job requirements to keep the folllow up going. Its a comfort to know we can lean on her if we need to.
katie - TMi shared -don't even mention constipation to me, i am sure i am the queen of it! And my belly has'nt become rounded as much as i thought -its just my poor bloated belly! ha! But like you, i take it as a sign that things are going as they should, despite my discomfort! I am excited to find out what you are having! I found out with josh and emily and would have at the 20 week with Jack. This preg i am thinking i may do the opposite and wait, but it is early yet and my impatient mind will change i am sure. i felt i could really bond with my baby more when i knew the sex as it it made it so much more personal for me, but thats just my thinking. You do what you want to do and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! (cos trust me, you'll have your negative people!) I so hope you win that massage -fab, fab, fab idea!!!!:clap:
jen - i know what you mean by wanting to wait for testing. i got told by my physic i was pregnant and at that stage was a few days late but had'nt wanted to test yet.(we like to drive ourselves crazy by dragging it out!:rolleyes:) This 12 week scan will be my 2nd one this preg as i had an 8 week one. I am already feeling very emotional about it so we will see how it all goes. Sunday night will be very sleepless and they had better be running on time!!!!!
hammi - day by day -just remember! ok?!? And we are here always, so take care!
barbara - hope you are well and baby evie is doing even better!!!
tm - still think about you!
take care everyone!
x jo

Hi all - been away visiting my family in Brisbane for the weekend, and got back last night. I hope you all had lovely and relaxing weekends.

Jo - I think we will find out the sex as DH feels that he wants to know as much about this baby as he can. I am not sure if that makes sense but after what happened with Nathaniel, DH wants to make each day count. That is wonderful about the midwife - what an amazing woman. It is so wonderful to hear that some hospitals has support in place for people like us. Frances Perry have the Preg after Loss support group that Simba and I go to - and it is led by a midwife as well. And luckily my constipation appears to have eased!!! The joy!

I have a lot of work to get through so had better get back to it. Will do more personals later. I also have another scan tomorrow - and for some reason I really need this one (I say that every week!). I think going home and seeing so many people and my pregnancy being so public has got me spooked. I get quite scared when it comes to telling people, as the crazy woman in my head starts to panic. So it will be good to have the scan and put my worries and irrational thoughts aside for a few more days.

Hi all and goodmorning :hello:,

I am not new to this website, but new to this chat area and I wanted to introduce myself and give you a little history.

My name is Sue and my DH (Clayton) and I have had 3 miscarriages in a row. We unfortunately do not have any live children at this stage.

My third M/C was the hardest, as it was a IVF bubs and I had a scan at 7 w 4 days and had a beautiful strong heartbeat and perfect size. Unfortunately my beautiful little angel stopped growing around 8-9 weeks (My gut feeling is that my FS asked me to stop Metformin at this stage!!!). I ended up miscarrying at 12 weeks naturally.

I have a thyroid and high insulin problems and have been seeing a fertility clinic in Adelaide called Repromed. My Professor at Repromed has finally agreed that my thryoid & high insulin could be the reason for my m/c and he is sending me to a hormone specialist.

Finally!!! I have been given more testing and are awaiting on my results. I am also just started see a natural therapist and so far she has totally amazed me, she picked up my issues straight away and we are working on them.

I am currently awaiting for AF to arrive (after miscarriage) and then set some goals for the future. We are having a few months off, and start again, hopefully naturally or by IVF.

I look forward to getting to know you all and wish you all the best in TTC.

:pink-babydust::bluedust:


xxx Sue xxx

heyall,
well i had my 12 week ultrasound this morning and i am very happy to say there was a heartbeat!:cheer: I think i freaked the girl out (she prob would have been the same age as me) as when she asked me to hop up on the bench thing i burst into hysterical tears and she was left wondering what she had said wrong. Thankfully DH was there and did the quick explanation for me and she raced off to get a box of tissues. So as for getting weekly scans Katie, i really don't know how you do it! i was so stressed the whole time throughout this one againand even asking her not to turn the screen on until she saw a heartbeat, which she generously did. Then she made a point of picking out everything for us so we saw our babys body parts etc and that helped. I really think it helped Dan being there also as i think this baby became "real" for him. In previous pregnancies our babies have been real when he has seen my belly grow or felt movement. Then i asked to book in the 17 week scan as that will be the one purely to ease my stress and the receptionist went and got the sonographer as obviously the next appointment is normally the 19-20 week scan. So by then i'm in tears again and the sonographer asked if it was a viablity one (THAT WORD AGAIN!!!! hate it!!) and i said yes. ARGH!!! So until about an hour agao i have just felt on edge! My stress levels were so high even though i have nothing to stress over as i have a happily moving bubs! deep breath!....
sryan - you are welcome to join us here! I am so sorry to hear of your loss but know we all very supportive of each other here! I am really happy to hear that you have a supportive medical (can't think of a better word!) network around you as i think that really helps us all on the other side of family and friends. Waiting for your next AF is always hard but please try and take care of yourself throughout all of this and know we are all here also!
katie - hope your scan goes well and it relieves some of your stress too! These babies must surely know how much love is already carrying them through our hopes for the future! Our news is still quite under wraps, my irrational fears also, so don't worry! You are not the only one out there!
Barbara -hope you and evie are going ok!!!
simba -how are you? Hope you are well and truely over your MS and feeling the happy effects of preg now!
jen- any news? how is everything with you?
hammi -hope you are taking care of yourself too!:hug:
x jo

Congrats on your scan Jo! Time to add a ticker soon!

I can imagine that I'd be exactly the same as you at any future scans. Just imagining walking into one of those rooms is enough to bring on the tears and panic attacks for me. But your bub rewarded you with that ever wonderful beating heart... so happy for you!

Hi to everyone else!

Katiegirl--Glad you enjoyed your weekend in Brisbane, and you had a safe trip! Tell that crazy woman in your head to relax and enjoy your scan today! I know all will be well, but still happy you get to find some weekly comfort from your scans! Ooohh, maybe they'll be able to tell what you're having today! Good luck!!


sryan--:welcome: I'm so very sorry to hear of your losses. :( I had 3 m/c in a row after I had my oldest son, but went on to have my younger son with no problems. Had a 4th m/c in Mar., and it doesn't get any easier. I'm praying AF comes quickly for you, so you can heal and begin your TTC journey again. Do you take a thyroid replacement? I had an overactive thyroid back in '92 when I was in high school, and had to have radiation. I have to take Synthroid everyday. It's strange because when I was pg. with my oldest son, my body started producing the hormone again, and I had to be taken off the thyroid pill. Then with my younger son, it stayed the same the whole time, and I never had to adjust the dosage. I'm glad you're getting tests tests done so that you can hopefully get some long-awaited answers. Good luck!


jo-- Yay, so glad your scan went well! :cheer: So happy for you that you saw that strong :heartbeat: How sweet of the lab tech to point out all the baby's body parts! Now breathe, relax, and enjoy! Now to get that ticker done... :)


Hi Hammi-- I love your little tribute to Hamish!


AFM--AF showed her nasty face on Friday--a day early even! She was pretty rough on me day 2, but is much better now, already looking close to gone. I ordered a thermometer on Saturday--maybe that will help me know a little better what's going on, at least I'll know for sure when I've O'ed, so I'm not surprised when AF shows! Also started taking B6 about a week ago, and bought some preseed to try during those :bd: sessions! If I get a BFP this month, I won't know what it was that helped, but I'm willing to try anything! Gotta go pick up the kids from school. Talk to you all soon, hope you all have a great day! :grouphug:

Hi All - to start the scan went really well. The baby was in a great position and facing up so we got a lovely view of the full face etc. No way to tell the sex though as the machine in my Ob's room is just not powerful enough to get a clear view. The baby was moving around well and giving me some kicks, but because of my anterior placenta I felt nothing!

Jo - wonderful news about your 12 week scan. I totally understand the emotion involved and I don't blame you for crying. Trust me, I struggle each week with my scans, but I think because they are with my Ob (besides the 12 and future 19 week one) they don't feel quite so daunting. I don't like the idea of them saying the 17 week scan is for 'viability'....they have written down our histories and if we are prepared to spend the money then why ask!!! I think scans will always be difficult, because for us they have bought the worst kind of heartache. I am glad though that things are moving forward nicely for you, and especially that your DH has been able to connect more with your pregnancy.

Hammi - I still get awful memories from my 20 week scan with Nathaniel. I think they are probably going to be images that haunt us forever. I hope you are doing ok? Just know that when your time comes for another baby to enter your life, you will have all of us to talk to about your anxieties etc.

Jen - thanks for the good wishes etc. Sorry AF arrived early for you, but I am glad to hear that it is moving on and you can start a new cycle.

Sryan - welcome to our little group. I am so sorry to read about your losses. To lose 3 children in a row must be heartbreaking, but please know we are all here to support each other. I hope you find support and comfort here.

Hi to Barbara and TM - hope you are both well.

Oh Jen, stupid AF! Boo hiss to AF!

Katie, can you believe I got excited because you mentioned the prospect of me having another baby in your post! No matter what I think in my head, hearing someone else say that I will have another baby makes it seem more possible and I get a little glimmer of hope. How are you going with work? Counting down the months till you go on maternity leave? I was in a meeting today trying to negotiate the details of an endorsement deal while fantasising about giving birth to a crying baby! If only they knew!

Hi Sryan. Sorry your losses have brought you here but at least you're now in supportive and sympathetic company. Good luck with TTC.

Just popping in to say hi! DH and I have had 4 losses Apr '07, Oct '07, Feb '08 and Mar '08. We have been TTC for 2.5+ years after his VR. He has anti-sperm antibodies and well I think I'm broken :( I have endometriosis (cleaned up in Lap) and suspect PCOS - without the PCO if that even makes sense? We have had recurrent loss testing and are both 'normal' what ever that might be. I'm feeling pretty cranky about the whole loss thing and then the process of grief.

I'm currently waiting on AF - silly old cow. My temp took a dive this morning and it's looking like another 10day luteal phase for me and another reason to think I'm broken. (Charting for 2+ years now)

Hi all,

Firstly I wanted to say thank you for welcoming me to your group. Yes it is in bad circumstances, but you all seem such a wonderful group to join.

Congratulations Jo for your fantastic news. How exciting and I wish you all the best for a happy and healthy pregnancy.

jen805 it is so difficult having so many miscarriages, but it is wonderful to hear stories that say there is hope..... Yes I am on thyroxine medication for my underactive thryoid.

Hi katiegirl, I am so happy your scan went well. Do you want to find out the sex of your baby???

Hi Hammi & Snowie, I hope to get to know you better.

Well with me, I am awaiting to hear the results of all my blood tests etc etc. Its funny, in one way I want to have something wrong, so we can work on fixing it, but in the other I dont want anything to be wrong and feel like a dud... Confusing huh

I am also still waiting for AF to arrive, it has now been 4 weeks since m/c and am starting to get some spotting and cramping, so hopefully soon.

Well hoping everyone has a fantastic day.

xxx Sue xxx

love and wishes to all.
hoping im going to be pregnant soon, bit scary though.

Hi Cindee,

Hello and :welcome:

Sorry to hear of your losses last year and I wish you all the best in TTC.

I look forward to getting to know you.

xxx Sue xxx

Katiegirl--So happy for you that your u/s was a success, and that you got to see a full view of the face! Can't wait for you to start to feel those kicks and bumps--I think that's the best part of being pg, is feeling all the movements. And it's so funny when the baby gets bigger and starts to move a lot--it looks like there's an alien moving around in your tummy!

AF came and went... woo hoo! And I got my thermometer and preseed yesterday--they even sent me a little baggie with some much-needed baby dust! So took my first temp this morning, it was 97.59, don't know if that's good, bad, or normal, but it's a step in the right direction so I'm happy with it! Will try the preseed closer to O. Chinese gender chart says if I conceive this month it will be a girl--it predicted both my boys, so fingers crossed! Now I just need that BFP!


Hammi--You should be excited about the prospect of becoming pregnant and having a child--it WILL happen, I just know it!


sryan--Good luck with your BT results! :crossfingers: that all is well with you!


snowie and cindee--:welcome: Sorry to read of your losses. Praying that your TTC journey is quick and you're blessed with BFP's soon! I look forward to getting to know you both! :hug:


:hello: jo! Hope all's well with you and your sticky bub!

Hi all,

Hope you all had a fantastic long weekend.

Well AF arrived on Sunday early morning (1st one after miscarriage.) Seemed so heavy and horrible. Anyway at least we can focus on the month ahead.

Catching up with Natural Therapist on Thursday again. So looking forward to that. I am struggling a bit with "eating for my blood group". I am so missing eating chicken!!!!

Well hoping everyone has a wonderful day.

xxx Sue xxx

hey everyone!
hope all the aussies had a fab long weekend! I got to see the fab (and very spunky!) Michael Buble' on sat night but got home at 12am and felt like i had a massive hangover the next morning when i woke! I guess 12 am is now officially pushing it for my social life! lol! But it was worth it! A great night with mum nonetheless!
On the baby front -nothing much to tell although i think my belly button may already be starting to pop a little. i have a belly ring which means it is time to get the not-so-nice- looking plastic kind so i can retain my hole after for my normal belly ring. The top part of my belly button only seems to be coming out a bit and i only noticed this morning so i guess this weekend i'll be racing off to my piercer!And then I saw a 4.5 month preg girl in our shop on mon and she looked so cute with her rounded belly. I can't wait to have that beautiful roundness not just the wobbly bloated look!
hows everyone else?
sryan - although we dont think it at first getting our 1st AF after our losses IS a huge step for our bodies so even though they are horrible it does have a small positive in there! I know what you mean about food groups etc, i am a vegetarian, which does'nt sound that difficult but it really can be to get things that don't conatin chicken and stock etc. I have heard the blood type diet work really well so stick with it and hopefully you will get the results for your body that you need!
katie- good luck with your weekly ultrasound. can't wait to hear about your baby in this one!
barbara - if you are still reading this forum i am trying to keep up with your posts in the preg forum. Please take care of you and go back to the docs if you want more answers! its your body and baby! I have decided to wait to my next ultrasound for the jump over unless i get a bout of confidence in the meantime as i am still feeling quite vulnerable!
hammi and jen - hope you guys are ok!
xx

Hello everyone. Well I went into work today and people asked 'How was your weekend?' to which I replied 'My husband and I drove down to the south coast to spread our baby's ashes." Silence... Actually I didn't tell everyone that. Just the people who kept asking after I gave the small talk answer.

So that's what we did last weekend. My parents are Buddhists and we've had Hamish's ashes at the temple they go to for the past few weeks. The nuns there have been doing a service for him every Sunday. According to Buddhist belief, the soul goes to its next destination after 49 days after which time the person's ashes must be scattered into the sea to free them from this life.

I didn't want to give up Hamish's ashes, but I didn't want to be the one who jeopardised his chances of going to heaven.

So on Sunday we went for a long drive. We finally found a small beach with a big cliff-face and decided that it was the right place. I read a prayer and DH opened the urn and released our baby's ashes into the wind. I was OK until I saw his tiny little bones. I'd been telling myself for weeks that those ashes aren't Hamish, they're just his earthly remains, but there's no mistaking that he was real and now he's gone when I'm looking at his bones. I'm not OK with seeing his bones and I can't stop thinking about them.

I think of those bones then I think of the legs they used to be and how they used to kick and kick. Then I wonder why those legs had to stop kicking, and why I didn't get to see them crawl, and walk and run.

Despite all that, I did get a sense of closure knowing that we've done everything we could for Hamish to go to heaven. I really hope he is there and that he's happy and safe.

sryan--Sorry to hear about AF, but hopeful that your body will ready itself for a quick BFP! Good on you for being able to be positive and focus on the journey ahead! You have a fresh start now, so stay positive and have faith! Good luck with the naruralist--here's some cyber chicken--made to your exact liking! :shhh: lol... Have a great day!


jo--So good to hear from you, it's been a while! Glad you got to get out and enjoy Michael Buble! You know, I've always wondered what pregnant women did with their belly piercings when their belly button starts popping out! lol... I've always wanted to get mine pierced, but I've seen so many get infected that it makes me think twice. I do have my tongue and ears pierced, though, and one other one that I'll leave unmentioned! :redface: DF has his nipple pierced, eight holes in his ear, his tongue, and two other unmentionable that he did all himself (with the exception of his tongue). Crazy! He also does his own tattoos! BUT, he's never given birth--so I win, hands down! :rofl: Glad to hear things are well with you, and looking forward to seeing a ticker sometime soon! (hint! hint! :lol: )


Oh Hammi... It sucks that closure can be so painful! I wish I had the magic words to say to make you feel better, but honestly, I can't find them at the moment... I'm just so sorry and pray you're able to find a safe, peaceful place where you feel comforted and supported. I know Hamish is watching over you from heaven right now, helping you through those dark days! Sending big :hug: and thinking of you always!


Hi Katiegirl! I left you a message in the other thread, but just wanted to say hi again, and I hope things are well with you!


Hi's and hugs to everyone else! Hope you all have a great day!

Hi Everyone. Sorry I haven't been around. I have been very busy with work and have also had a friend staying with us for a week. So no time to post, but I have tried to keep up with you all.

sryan - I am glad to hear that you have positive thoughts about AF. I found it quite confronting, but at the same time I was also desperate for it to arrive. It means that your body is healing and you will have your chance again. :hug:

Hammi - what a beautiful way to send Hamish to heaven. I know it must have been difficult to spread his ashes, but I hope you can find comfort in knowing you did what was right. Also - it is only natural to have memories that will haunt you. I am sure we all have them, and unfortunately it is now part of the uniform that we all wear. I still have Nathaniel's ashes, and have wondered what to do with them - but i think I am happy keeping them. I have told my DH that I want Nathaniel's memorial box buried with me so that I know it will always be looked after. I know that seems grim, but I could not stand him just being forgotten. I hope you are finding some peace, and know that your baby boy is looking after you.

Jo - glad to hear you enjoyed Michael Buble. I have also had late nights this past week - first a work function where I didn't get home until midnight, then 4 other nights sitting up until 1:30 chatting to my friend. I was exhausted! I am also waiting for my belly button to pop - at the moment it looks like a big hole under my shirts - I have the round belly but need the belly button to smooth it out.

Jen - all this talk of piercings has made me cringe :lol: I am such a whimp - I would never be able to get one done (though my ears are pierced) let alone doing it myself!!! Aaaggghhhh Thanks for your message. All is going well so far - but I will know more this afternoon as I have another scan. I think I have started to feel movement - it is like someone tickling me from inside my belly. I never had this with Nathaniel, so I can only assume it is the baby moving. I can't wait for proper kicks. I still stress - especially if I think I haven't felt anything for a while.

Not much else to report - I have the BIG scan next week on Tuesday. It will be a relief to get it over with. I have a bit of travel coming up - next week to Canberra and then Hobart the week after, all for work. I will be glad to get it over with. Everyone at work now knows about the pregnancy, and the new CEO has given me permission to work from home from now on. Very happy about that (especially as I was doing it already - now it is legit!!!).

Barbara - will catch up with you in the Preg threat

TM - you are missing in action - I hope all is well.

Welcome to Cindee, Syran and Snowie :welcome: - my heart breaks for your goodbyes and the grief and loss you are feeling. Please believe in time that pain gets easier - you can put it into a box... Sometimes you open up that box because you want or need to. Other times someone will open it for you - and it hurts all over again... Sending you strength and love... You have come to a wonderful place full of wonderful women who will support you on the next part of your journey... :hug:

Hammi: What a beautiful way to say goodbye to Hamish. I practise Buddhisim too and I am glad you could feel comfort in your parents spiritual beliefs. Hamish was blessed to spend time at a Gompa - I am so so sorry my love :( I can understand how confronting and difficult it was to see Hamish's bones - and how hard it was to release him and say goodbye. Sending you all my love and prayers you wonderful strong Mama... :hug:

Jo and Katie congrats on your u/s... :hug:

Hi everyone - the scan went well yesterday. The baby was making some lovely kicks and even waved to us. It has been amazing having these weekly scans as it is like watching our baby grow. So now I just have to get through the big morph scan next week. It is difficult to not get worked up and think about all the 'what ifs' but DH seems positive about it. We are looking forward to finding out the sex. I really think it is a boy but DH has said girl but has finally admitted he now thinks boy. So I think we will get a surprise if it is a girl - but a lovely one.

Flowerchild - thank you for the congrats. Your messages are always so lovely.

Good morning all,

Hope everyone is well.

Well did I have a bad night on Wed (very negative). I was crying, crying, crying. Something small set me off and a lot of emotions came out. My poor DH in having to cope with me, but he was absolutely wonderful. But back on track now. Unfortunately you have days like that!!!!

But on a positive note, went to Natural Therapist yesterday and things are improving. She said that my infection in my pancreas is a lot better and my sugar levels have dropped.

As I am on day 6 of my cycle, we are now working on the oestrogen side of things and then I see her again in about 10 days and we work on the progesterone side of the cycle.

The other interesting factor is that she said for me to cut down on my water intake (I drink about 2 litres a day). As it is winter and my body does not require that much and I am washing away all the good nutrients. I can now only drink 1 litre of water a day.

I must admit, I have feeling a lot better, so fingers crossed for a good month.

Hammi I wanted to say what a beautiful way to say goodbye to Hamish. I hope you are looking after yourself and treating yourself kindly. I wish you all the best.

Katiegirl, I am so happy your scan went well. After what all of us have been through, going to have a scan is a nerve wracking experience and I am so glad everything went well for you.... I wish you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy.

Jo also wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy.

Jen805 thanks for the cyber chicken - very much appreciated :D:D.

Well wishing everybody a fabulous day.

xxx Sue xx

*** OOps back now - I am confused about ****

Hi all,

I just lost my message!!!! It says I was the last one to write, but it is not there....

Anyway I will send it again shortly.

xxx Sue xxx

Hi everyone
I am very new to all this, I have posted only one time and have been lurking in the shadows for nearly 2 months! Sadly we lost our little boy Cooper on the 22nd of April, he was 24w+5days, we still don't know what happened and maybe never will. Hopefully we will get our test results back in the next couple of weeks, it will help for our closure. We have a gorgeous 18mth old boy Corey who was born full term, with no real problems except for being breech, so it was a bit of a shock that we lost Cooper so early. But in saying that I think I believe a whole lot more in a mother's instinct, as I had said to my DH, sister & friend that this baby would be born early.....I just didn't think it would be THAT EARLY! I am still on the rollercoaster of emotions, but am generally travelling fairly well, I don't know what else to say, but I have a million and one things to say, if you know what I mean. I am looking forward to getting to know you all so that I can say just some of those things and share my journey as we look forward to happier times. Thanks for listening to my ramblings and good luck to all.

HAMMI: I am so glad you & your DH found your magical place for Hamish, you are courageous parents.

Helen

hgirs--:welcome: My heart breaks for you for the loss of your angel baby Cooper. I pray you get some answers from the test results. It's definitely a bumpy, emotional ride--but we've all been through it, and are always willing to listen to anything you need to get out, whether you need to cry, scream, or vent. You've come to the right place for understanding and support, we're all here to cheer you up, and help cheer you on! Sending big :hug:


sryan--Sorry to hear about your bad night on Wed. Glad to hear the naturalist sees improvements with you, and you're feeling better. Maybe that's a good sign of what's to come for the rest of your cycle! Good luck!


Hi to jo, Simba, and Katiegirl! Hope things are well with you all, and you're all enjoying your pregnancies! Big :hug:


hammi--Hi, hun, I hope things are ok with you!


Hi's to cindee and snowie, as well! I hope things are progressing and getting a little better each day!


Hope all you lovely ladies have a great weekend!

Hello mamas

I'm in a much better state. In fact, I feel quite happy and light.You're all right, Hamish is in heaven now because I can feel that he has moved on to another place but the fact that I feel good makes me believe that he is happy too. I think I've had closure.

Now that we've gone through all the things to do with his death (service, scattering of ashes etc.), we can just focus on his life and remember him that way. I love him SO much!

Thank you for kind words every time I have hard time. You ladies save me time and time again.

Helen, I'm glad you've popped into this thread. Have you contacted a naturopath yet? I saw a homeopath at the same clinic this week. Homeo's focus on getting the body to heal itself. I haven't started on her remedy yet but she was really lovely to talk. Maybe you try one of those too?!

Katie - big scan next week! Are you hoping for a boy or girl? I know, you just want a healthy baby, right? Me too. For you and for all of us.

How are you going Jo? Has that belly button popped yet ;-)

Hi Cindee and Snowie!

SRyan. Your AF must be on its way out now... countdown to BD time!

Hammi--I can tell just from reading your post that you're in a much better place emotionally! I'm so happy for you and proud of you! Hope things continue to get better for you with each passing day!



Just wanted to come brag that I finally got a coverline! :cheer: This is my first month temping, so it's the first month I've ever had a coverline to tell me that I've actually O'ed!!! :woot: Seems silly that it would make me so happy, but I'm truly excited to know what's going on with my cycle! Even if I don't get a BFP this month, I'm at least happy I got my coverline! :lol:

Sorry for the "me" post, but I had to have a good vent for a change! Will check back in with you all later! Have a great weekend! :grouphug:

Helen, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby Cooper...:hug: It is such a shock when you have had a "normal" birth experience. Was baby Cooper born sleeping?

Welcome to Belly belly and this little corner - you will find many women in here to support you, and listen to you... :hug:

Sending you love and strength :hug:.

Hi and thank you to everyone for welcoming me, I will endeavour to get to know everyone! Flowerchild, no, Cooper was not born sleeping, he died about 15 min after birth. That is what makes me sometimes feel so angry at myself, because he was perfect, happily growing in there and whatever else happened let him down, we are not sure if it may have been an infection or incompetent cervix. Congratulations to Jen805 for your coverline! I temp, as my cycles can be extremely long...... I am just chaffing at the bit to get some normality to my temps at the moment, they are still all over the place and have only had a few days spotting so waiting for AF, waiting, waiting...
Thanks Hammi, no I haven't seen anyone yet, still not sure if I will or not, there is a lady just down the road from us that has a really good reputation though.
Thank you to all & good luck.

Hi and thank you to everyone for welcoming me, I will endeavour to get to know everyone! Flowerchild, no, Cooper was not born sleeping, he died about 15 min after birth. That is what makes me sometimes feel so angry at myself, because he was perfect, happily growing in there and whatever else happened let him down, we are not sure if it may have been an infection or incompetent cervix. Congratulations to Jen805 for your coverline! I temp, as my cycles can be extremely long...... I am just chaffing at the bit to get some normality to my temps at the moment, they are still all over the place and have only had a few days spotting so waiting for AF, waiting, waiting...
Thanks Hammi, no I haven't seen anyone yet, still not sure if I will or not, there is a lady just down the road from us that has a really good reputation though.
Thank you to all & good luck.

Bugger, posted twice.

Sorry still getting used to this!

Hi Hgirs - I am so sorry to read about the loss of your baby boy Cooper. I hope you are doing okay and have good support around you. Please don't be hard on yourself as you are in no way to blame for Cooper becoming an angel. It is hard to not know why our babies had to leave us, but that is something many of us live with. Please know that we are all here to listen and support you, so please feel free to vent when you need, laugh, cry whatever helps you get through the day. I look forward to getting to know you more and good luck on your TTC journey.

And don't worry about the double post, it seems to be a new gremlin in the system. I did it the other day and I have noticed it is happening to a lot of other people too.

Hi all - well I had the 19 week scan yesterday. I was very nervous but I am happy to say that it all went beautifully. The baby was exactly right size (1 day ahead) and everything measured well and looked like it was functioning well. And....we found out what we are having.

So I guess even though it is a big secret I will let you all know...that its a GIRL! I was shocked for a moment because I was so sure it was a boy, and that also means I lost the bet and now owe DH a week's worth of massages. So once I make it past 20 weeks that will be the beginning of a new chapter in this pregnancy. Yesterday gave me a really nice boost.

So that is my news. I hope you are all travelling well and we have some BFPs in here soon.

I am feeling a bit yuck today, woken with a cold. I have to fly to Canberra tomorrow to host a function that evening and I really really would rather not be going. I just don't think I can get out of it.