Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage June '08 #2

:welcome: Sue's

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your little angel Nelson and I look forward to getting to know you and wish you all the best in your next FET.

I too conceived on my first IVF Cycle, but unfortunately had a m/c at 12 weeks. We only have one frostie and am awaiting some test results and then will be going back for another cycle of IVF.

Katiegirl hope you feel better soon. You poor thing..

xxx Sue xxx

Hi Katie.....Thank you for the welcome. Congrats on your pregnancy :) hope you feel better soon, seems to be that there's a lot of flu/cold going around at the moment prob due to season change.

Hi Sue! Thanks for the welcome. I'm sorry to hear about your loss too :hug: It is so difficult because we try so hard to fall pg only to discover that we need assistance and then when we succeed, this happens :( Would you be going back to do a FET or a full stim cycle?

Hi Sue's,

We havent totally made up our mind. In one way it probably would be better to do a full stim cycle (as we only have 1 frostie) and apparently "fresh is best". But I can't stop thinking of the little frostie and maybe that one is the one.....

We are giving ourselves a couple more months off as I am going to a naturopath and getting myself back into shape and ready for another cycle mentally and physically.

But I know we don't have much time (as I am 38), but I have had 3 miscarriages in a row and mentally need a little break.

Sue's do you know what percentage little frostie successfully unfreeze???

xxx Sue xxx

Hi all

A newie to this thread but I've been posting in other areas. You might know my story - I lost my baby Alex in late April at full term. Hubby and I have certainly had ups and downs in the last few months but we are thinking about taking the plunge again.

At first the only thing that I could think about was getting pregnant again but now that we are seriously thinking about this - I'm suddenly terrified. I want to do it but - as I'm sure you all know - the thought of losing another child is unbearable.

Anyway, hoping to get back into a regular cycle again but my body seems to be all over the place at the moment (Its only been 10 1/2 weeks). I'm considering going on the pill just for the month to try to get regularity happening again - as we'll probably avoid TTC this month because if we were successful the due date would be around Alex's birth date.

Hopefully I can catch up with all your TTC stories as this journey goes forward.

Also - just so you all know I'm really bad with the acronyms so will be constantly asking you what things stand for.

Cheers

Danek

Hi all,

welcome Sue, I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard when everyone gets on with their lives and you're left still mourning. I understand what you mean about no-one talking about it, I'm pretty sure my dad has never even acknowledged it or mentioned it to me, it's all done by my mother!

I went to the GP today as I needed a new referral for the OB. I told her I didn't think I was ovulating as I'd had 2 periods and never got a + on an OPK... I asked for a blood test to confirm which she gave me, then she convinced me that I was probably not ovulating because I was too stressed and was putting too much pressure on myself. I'm stressed because I'm worried I'm not ovulating!! Anyway, I got home and finally got a positive OPK!!! It's day 13 and last time we conceived on day 14 (I know because we only saw each other once that month due to work- we were at my parents' house too, so everyone knew!), so everything times up nicely, hopefully I'm back into my normal cycle, and the 1st AF probably wasn't a real one.

It's been 11 weeks though and I can't tell anyone new without breaking down... when I told the doctor why I was there (she's a new one) I just started crying... how am I going to be when I return to work??? I wore maternity uniform too so EVERYONE knew I was pregnant... I don't particularly want to cry, a crying woman in the military doesn't usually go down that well!!! Anyone have any tips?

Sue and Sue, good luck with the IVF!!

:welcome: Danek,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your baby angel Alex :hug:, but I look forward in getting to know you.

It is a tough and scary decision when you decide to try again.... were they able to tell you on why your angel passed away????

I wish you all the best on your journey.

Rozzie - 11 weeks is not a long time and I can totally understand where you are coming from and it is going to be tough going back to work. Unfortunately I can not give you any hints, but with me, I just had to go back to work and face them all. I cried at work and everybody saw it, but after that it got easier. I think the anticipation of going back to work is the hardest and it is a relief when you eventually do it. I wish you all the best.

xxx Sue xxx

Syran,
We have no definitive answer to Alex's death. The doctors have advised that the most likely cause was a placental abruption. A few other small things were found but nothing as significant as the abruption - they said that they can't really say if it was the cause or a consequence of Alex's death. I wasn't sure if it was good to have an answer or not - I guess it doesn't change anything in the end.

My Obstetrician said that the next pregnancy she would recommend that I either have an artificial rupture of membranes at 38 weeks or be taken through for a caesarean at this time. Would love to have a natural birth but will do anything for a healthy baby and if that means surgery at 38 weeks - so be it. We'll decide as we go.

I see that you are seeing a naturopath - I was considering this myself. How have you found it?

Rozzie - I'm looking for any tips to stop the crying too. I start back at Uni next week and have to face so many people that I haven't seen yet. At the moment, I cry at the drop of a hat. I was bawling buying cat food the other day - the check-out woman didn't know what to do. So if you find a cure, please let me know.

hi everyone!
internet decided to pack it in last night and this morning, right when i needed it the most! I had a severe paranoid moment basically lasting from yesterday to today as i felt as though our babys movements had really decreased and i spent about 3 hours laying awake sometime early this morning waiting (impatiently) for movement. This bubs has done some heavy duty acrobatic work since 15 weeks and so to suddenly be waiting for movement scared me. So i rang the hospital i am booked in at and spoke to a midwife who went on to say that feeling movement at 15 weeks is very unusual as it does'nt normally happen until 20 wks and i was saying this is my 4th pregnancy, i think i know what is movement by now. So i had to rexplain my history, therefore explaining my huge distress and paranoia and got off the phone feeling like an idiot. (how is it people still make me feel this way for being honest about my feelings?????) So then i got a call from her later and she asked if i had any movements and i said no and she went through the list of reasons why and said to drink the most sugary coldest drink i could find to see if that stimulated anything and to come in if i needed reassurance. So i finished work and still felt awful and paranoid so rang and said i was coming in to hear the heartbeat. I get to the maternity ward (delivery suites section no less -how nice for me at that moment!)and the midwife puts the thing on my belly searching for a heartbeat, there is one and she says that shgould make you feel happier for now until your ultrasound and i was back to feeling like an idiot! So basically i won't be happy until i see bubs moving around on screen on wednesday, i am so hard to please! But i still have'nt got any explanation for the reason why movements have gone from every 2 or so hours (awake time) to now almost nothing. On top of it all, i am getting sicker by the minute, i don't think the stress helped as my throat is about to collapse if i try to speak anymore! phew!
and now for you guys!
Welcome to sue and danek. i am really sorry to hear of both your losses, it is such a horrible thing for nay of us to go through and small amounts of healing happen each day even though i can speak for myself and say that i will never recover fully. i completely understand the no one speaking about our babies thing. I get the word miscarriage all the time for my son jack, who i delivered at 17wks, 5 days. He is constantly described as a miscarriage (which medically he was) which i hate as i delivered him and got the chance to hold him, so for me he passed away. My dhs family don't speak of it and i still get uncomfortable silences if i bring up his name. Taking the "plunge" to TTC is huge and it happened quickly for us which although it was wanted still caught me off guard as my body was a mess or irregular bleeding and cycles. I fell pregnant on my 3rd cycle. do what feels rihgt, we thought we would not use anything to prevent a pregnancy and my body would allow it to happen when it was mentally and physically ready. So good luck, :hug: to you both.
Katie - take care too! Seems you are as run down with sickness as me! i've been the same, i have'nt taken any time off but really should of and thats why i have got worse. As for your earleir post re: finishing upin sept, i too am dreaming of finishing although i don't have a date yet. It sounds nice tho, huh?!? And sept is'nt that far away!!!!!!
will have to finish the rest of the personals later, my DH is calling for me to come up to bed!
take care everyone! Sorry for the essay!
x jo

Danek - very sorry to read about the passing of your baby Alex. As Jo said, it is a terrible thing for anyone to experience. I find that pregnancy loss is not talked about a great deal and therefore people never know what to say. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time to grieve. I hope you find comfort and support here, I know it has helped me a great deal both immediately after losing Nathaniel, during TTC and throughout this pregnancy. :hug:

Rozzie - I understand your fear of returning to work. I work on my own but I shared an office with other people (who do not work for the same company) and I dreaded returning. It took me many weeks to get myself back there. I also had a fear of going into the coffee shop as they knew I was preg - I eventually did and they inevitably asked when I was due and I started crying. I am not the type to cry in public, but it happened and I actually felt better for it. Don't put too much pressure on yourself - if you cry than so be it. People will then understand how much the loss of Edward has affected your life. :hug: I don't think any of us get enough credit for the strength and bravery it takes to 're-enter' the world after we lose our babies.

Jo - you poor thing. And if it makes you feel better, I have been freaking out the last couple of days as well. I have started to think I was not feeling enough movement (we mirror each other). I have been feeling so good since our last scan, and now the old fears are creeping back in. I think being sick probably doesn't help, as we already feel low. Plus I have been so sad since the passing of Mel's baby Joshua. I am really looking forward to Tuesday when I have a scan - it has been 2 weeks and I am now needing it. So don't let any midwife make you feel stupid. She doesn't understand your fears and how much you love and cherish this baby. And yes feeling sick - and I am over it. I am getting cabin fever from being at home so much. DH has gone over to a friend's today and for some reason I got upset about it. Poor guy does so much for me and then I want to make him stay home with a bed-bound woman!

So that is it from me - hope you all have lovely weekends.

Jo and Katie -- always glad to see an update about your babies. I understand that you're paying attention to every movement and everything that seems out of the ordinary. Our midwife told us when we met up with her after the M/C that we can pop up any time we want next time, just show up outside her door and ask to hear the heartbeat. I hope we manage to get her again next time we are pregnant.

Danek - I'm so sorry to hear about your losing Alex. I have also had a long period where I can cry at just about anything. I think the only thing that helped was, in fact, to cry. I cried a lot at work, but after a while that made it so that I could be at work WITHOUT crying. It sort of left my system for just that place and situation. Every time I meet a friend that I haven't seen since before the M/C, I cry, but then next time I see them I'm okay. I cried every time I saw my pregnant friend until I talked to her about how it hurt a lot for me to see her; but then I was able to meet her without crying. It seems, in other words, that admitting and showing my sadness and letting out a good cry is what helps.

Sue - welcome (though it's bittersweet to welcome someone into this group!) -- I was struck by your story; there are a lot of people who seem to find out about losing their baby when they go in for a regular scan and suddenly find that something is wrong. My situation was different, and I have a hard time imagining going in to the hospital with those sort of giddy, hopeful feelings and then leaving with a terrible shock. :hug: Please let us know how it goes with the FET.

Hammi and hgirs - I think it sounds like a good idea that you're planning something special around your EDDs. I think I'm going to try to adopt that idea as well. I very much hope that I'm pregnant again by then, because I think I will just collapse and cry if I'm not... I shouldn't get my hopes up too much I suppose.

Rozzie - it sounds like you hae a good doctor now. Focus on that; it's hopeful to have an explanation and a game plan. I'm also concerned that I'm not ovulating, as my temperature isn't going up at all even though that good CM has come and gone! And I'm worried that I'm not ovulating because I'm worrying too much -- a vicious cycle!

Otherwise things are okay with me. I've actually gone almost a week without crying, and have had moments where I actually think about something else. I'm disappointed with myself for how I've been eating, as I've been slowly gaining weight since the M/C and that's not going to make the TTC any easier. But today is a new day, and I've had a healthy breakfast and am planning on going for a walk and trying to relax and thinking egg-popping thoughts.

Wow, you guys have been busy. I love coming in here and seeing lots of posts to read.

Welcome Danek and Sues. My heartfelt and very empathetic condolences for the loss of your boys. Life is so bittersweet, in one day I read about Mel1977's second angel baby and also found out that one of my Belly Buddies delivered a healthy baby girl. Even when I myself was in hospital delivering my dear little Hamish, I heard another woman bellowing through her labour. But hers ended with her baby crying. Ours ended with DH and I crying over our lifeless little baby's body.

Jo, I hope Wednesday comes flying through for you so that you can be reassured by your baby's bouncy dance.

When is your next scan Katie? Take care of yourself, you sound like you're very run down.

Danek, I don't think I've actually ovulated since giving birth in April even though I've been through two cycles. I'm just leaving my body to work itself out. I'm reading a book by Francesca Naish called something like Natural Way to Better Babies and she really recommends avoiding unnatural contraceptives in the four months prior to TTC. I'm also seeing a naturopath, homeopath and acupuncturist!!! I'm not sure if they're doing anything for me physcially but mentally they're helping me feel proactive and gives me a timeframe for working through my feelings before TTC again.

Rozzie, I didn't realise that you were in the military. It must be so tough on you to have to put on a brave face for everyone else.

Tildy, congrats on your 'new day'. Take care of yourself, remember you need a healthy body to make that healthy sibling for your angel baby.

How's the weekend going for Jen and Sue (Ryan)?

Hi ladies,

I wanted to mention that I've finally started writing a blog after lots of insistence from my husband. If anyone is interested in either reading it or seeing a pretty picture of me :redface: it's at The Pessimist's Cookbook.

-Tildy

Hi everyone, just a quick post before I have to go to work, then on to vacation!

I'm in the TWW. I really hope this time it's a pregnancy--a healthy one.

So I explained to my FS why I didn't want to go on the $700-per-month stimming meds. They were okay with it (like they have a choice, but you know what I mean). Clomid is enough for me.

Keeping fingers crossed for everybody.

Hi everyone,

Hoping everyone had a fantastic weekend. I can not believe the amount of reading I had to do to catch up. You go girls!!!

Hello Hammi - have you done any temperature charting etc to see if you are ovulating?? I found it quite soothing to do this as it lets me take more control and at least I know that I am ovulating.

Please please Tildy look after yourself and be healthy - I can understand where you are coming from. With going through IVF and other fertility drugs, having another miscarriage, I find that I am putting on weight and the worst part is - I cant lose it!!! it is so frustrating and I am trying so hard.....

Rozzie I am so glad you have found a good Dr. It is so hard to do and I find most Dr's are so blaze about everything.....

Jo76 You poor thing. It is really hard for people to understand in what we have all been through and that we watch every sign. Though I look forward to hear from you on Wed to say that the scan when all fantastic and bubs had all feets and hands moving around.

Tempus - I am :pray: like mad that we both get our well deserved BFP this month....

and hello to Katiegirl and Denek.

Well with me, I am going to the natural therapist tomorrow and catching up with her. I found this to be very beneficial. The hardest part is eating for my blood group, though I did break out on the weekend and had some chicken - yummy!!!.

Hope everyone has a good day. BFP this month for all of us who are trying....

xxx Sue xxx

Oops nearly double posted. Having trouble at the moment with BB Website he he he

xxx Sue xxx

ok guys!
Rant # 10,657: Medicare. For those in aust i probably don't have to say too much more but today i went to get my refund on the $205 i spent on our ultrasound 2 weeks ago. (i lost the receipt -oops). Anyway the lady at the counter says that there is a problem and did i have a 17-22 week ultrasound last year. I said yes and she said so how far are you for this one i am holding and i said i was 17 weeks when it was done. She looked confused and i said that last years ultrasound was to tell me my baby had died and she said that because through the system it considered only a "full term" pregnancy and i did'nt have enough time to have gone full term and then be 17 weeks agin i could'nt get the refund and she had to refer me to head office. I was so shocked, in a happy perfect world none of us would even be in this forum and if there is anything that this site has taught me it is that there far too many of us around so how can medicare not factor this into their system. Yet again, got the tears and the lady was lovely but i felt so s****y at them. Man, i tell you i HAVE to come out of this pregnancy stronger after all these little blocks along the way. But good news - this baby after a 3 days hiatus has decided to kick and move around again. Cheeky bugger, so my comfort movements are back again! :dance:
katie - we have pretty much mirrored each other and although devastating we are in this position to have got to know each other, it is also a comforting thing also. I hope your feeling better!!! My nose and throat seem to have started clearing up! HOORAY!!!!
Tildy - i love blogs so i jumped straight on, you are a great writer! No wonder your DH insisted so much! This might be a really great negative energy release for you so good luck with it and keep it going!!!
sryan - if you ate the chicken and enjoyed it you obviously needed it! i believe if you really crave anything then you need it for a reason only your body knows so take it as a good thing, even if it was a naughty slip from your blood group diet. I think your are strong enough for even sticking to something like that! i am hopeless!
TM - thought about you the other day - you are sounding happier, poss the thought of vacation time most likely! Take care of you and i will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you!!!!
hammi - hearing other babies being born was probably the worst part of delievering Jack. Not long before he was born i heard that newborn cry from the delivery suite next to me and it almost killed every part of me because i knew we were both here for the same thing, just mine would'nt have the happy outcome at the end.
rozzie - hope things are looking up for you also...how are you going????
take care everyone -i'll update wed night after the ultrasound!
x jo

hmm -my ticker i don't think is moving along....

Jo - I had the same experience with Medicare. I had to explain that I was pregnant last year hence having 2 x 12 week scans within their period of allocated time as well as the 20 week. I couldn't believe I was standing there having to tell this stranger that the reason was that I lost a baby last year at 20 weeks. I was lucky that I didn't cry but I was so angry. She said they would refer it to the head office and it would take a few weeks to get the money back. Lovely!!! And yes it unfortunately isn't unusual to have a late loss -so why are we made to justify and explain our scans. I just adds to the difficult nature of what we go through! Vent over!!!

Glad to hear that bubs is kicking you again. I have also been getting some nice kicks to has helped my sanity. I am looking forward though nervously to the scan tomorrow.

Sryan - glad to hear you are keeping up with the naturopath - I am too. And don't feel bad about the chicken = just eat it! I am craving (and this is gross) a McDonald's hamburger - but I cant' eat gluten so it is off the list - but god I want one....

TM - good to see you back. I will say a prayer that this is your cycle.

Hammi - I have heard of Francesca Naish - do you like the book? If you haven't ovulated or suspect you haven't - would you consider seeing a naturopath to help kick things along?

Tildy - your blog is excellent. A great read.

I am starting to feel better as well but have a busy few days ahead of me. I think I have been run down and the baby is taking any good stuff I have and leaving me with not much else. I will let you all know how the scan goes tomorrow.

I also had the same issue with Medicare... :wall::wall::wall: I agree, you would think that there are enough of us out there that they would sort it out. I too fell apart and the lady behind the counter was lovely and I made quite a sight I am sure... :redface:

I remember when I woke up from the anaesthetic (I retained the placenta after my Angel Son was born) - and heard the first new born cries coming from the theatres. I felt incredibly and totally gutted. It was hideous... :hug:

Nighty night my lovelies... :hug:

Hi all,

That's horrible about medicare, I can't believe the system is that rigid and uncaring. I've been lucky as the military pays all my medical bills, it's taken away some of the stress.

Jo - so glad the baby is kicking again for you!!! It's good to hear baby can have a rest and be fine.

Hammi- are you charting to see if you're ovulating? even still it may be worth a blood test to check your progesterone, I got a slip for it just to know one way or the other, at least then you're prepared.

Katiegirl -glad to hear you're feeling better, now hopefully you can enjoy things a bit more as you approach the third trimester, how exciting!!


It looks like I did ovulate this cycle... I was pretty sure it happened sunday but temperature didn't go up yesterday, but then it finally did this morning! yay! So now I'm in the TWW although it's more like nine or ten days in my case as my cycle is pretty short. I'm just glad I seem to be back to normal, if I'm not pregnant then hopefully at least AF will appear at the right time and I'll be back in sync.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Rozzie

Hi All,

Just a quick question - A friend recommended a natropath to me who I rang and they want to charge $180 for 1st appointment - this only includes the consultation there are additional costs for supplements etc... This sounds like a lot to me - does it sound about right in price to you? Maybe anyone in Melbourne area might be able to recommend one to me.

Have decided to go on the pill for the month. I've had traces of milk still so I'm pretty sure I haven't ovulated yet either. Anyway, I think the progesterone will help suppress the prolactin production and in theory will help regulate me a bit sooner. Even so, Hammi, I'm looking for that book by Francesca Naish in the uni library.

Big day for me - I went back to uni. Pysched myself up preparing what I'd say to people and as it turns out, I didn't know anyone in my class so I was blissfully anonymous! I don't think I'm so lucky for the rest of the week though. But hanging out for the weekend. Planning a dirty weekend away with hubby!

Hope you are all well!

Danek

Hi Danek - yes $180 does seem a bit much especially as you will also have supplements and herbs to buy as well. I go to Fertile Ground in East Melbourne and they specialise in women's health and fertility. I think the initial consult was around $80-90 and follow ups have been $60. I have been happy with them so far. I have a feeling they will not agree with you going on the pill as they see this as messing up your natural cycle? I have watched my cycle go all over the place after my loss - but it also helped when it came time to temping and checking mucous etc. Maybe book in and ask them what you can do prior to the appointment - they might say yes to the pill.

Well had the Ob appointment today and he checked the heartbeat with a doppler all good at 144 - but no scan!!! I was devastated. He didn't even offer it. DH thinks he is trying to wean us off them. So by the time we have our next appointment I won't have seen the baby for 1 month. Aaaggghh doesn't he realise I am a scan addict. He kept telling me that all is going wonderfully.

Belly Belly has a new Pregnancy centre in Melbourne. HERE is the link just scroll down... :D

That is so awful about Medicare. It's good of you guys to share that with the rest of us so we know to expect the same for our next pregnancies. Maybe we need to document things like that into a Chronicle of Ways Life Can Still Kick You When You're Down.

I'm not too worried about the fact that I may not be ovulating yet. I remember Barabara said that she couldn't conceive until she accepted that she couldn't get her angel baby back and was ready to open her heart to a new baby. I think my body knows I'm not ready for another baby so it's not going through its baby-making processes.

My naturopath is away till mid-Aug and I've booked in to see her then. I'll show her my charts and see what she says.

Danek, she charged about $120 for the initial consult and $70 for all follow-ups plus extra for herbs and vitamins. I've never spent so much money on health as I have now but it's keeping me sane so I think it's worth it.

Jo, your ticker is moving along very nicely. How did your scan go yesterday?

Katie, two thumbs up for lots of kicks and a good strong heartbeat. Haha to having to be weaned of scans.

Hi all,

I also see a natural therapist and I have seen great improvement (though there is a lot to go). Anyway her initial consultation was $70.00 and $40.00 for follow ups + any chinese herbals etc.

Actually went yesteday and things seem to be going well, she is saying that after ovulation my temperature is not jumping up as it should be and is taking a couple of days to get to the higher temperatures.

Hammi - I totally agree that the body know exactly when it is ready. I am so glad you are charting and that you are seeing a naturopath.

Danek I am so glad things went OK for your first day back at Uni. I know how hard it is, but you have taken the first step and hopefully it will get easier.

Katiegirl how exciting to hear your bubs heartbeat...... I know that when I fall pregnant again, that I will be insisting on more ultrasounds.

Rozzie - yippee for ovulating. :crossfingers::crossfingers::crossfingers: for a :bfp: this month for both of us.... I know I am so close to ovulating as well (day 12) though I don't have as much CM this month, but I did have a temperature dip this morning.

Jo goodluck for your ultrasound today.

xxx Sue xxx

Hi everybody

Warm welcome to Danek and Sues, you have found a wonderful support amongst these ladies here. Katie and Jo glad to hear our updates hope you are starting to feel better, I watch so happily to see those tickers creeping along! Aswell as feel all your anxieties with you. I had an appointment with my GP the other day, just to go over things again, as I know and trust her so much, she is a fantastic DR. Happily left her office feeling more confident in our plans for next time. Speaking of next time.... I am SOOOO over this cycle already!!! I am on day 19 and have charted & temped for a few years but have also been using Fertility Friend this time. The problem is FF says I ovulated on day 13 (WOW, never done that in my life!), but I don't believe it as nothing else is really adding up, sure I had a couple of higher temps, but no clear thermal shift AND to top off my anxiety, my DS has kindly kept me up from 2am in the morning for the last 2 days, so I can't really see if there is a shift or not!!! This does my head in. UGHH....

Anyway enough grumbling, I guess it means if I haven't Ov'd there is still a chance this cycle (YAY). I am with you Tildy I would love to be pregnant again before Cooper's EDD, but we are running out of time.

Went to see Mamma Mia last night, it was a great laugh, went with a friend and MIL. It was good to get out and have some fun and for a while not think about pregnancy, babies, TTC and the sadness.

Cheers

hey guys!
i will post this in both the ttc and preg forums as i am really at a loss as how or what to feel right now and i guess i am reaching out for ANYTHING that may put my mind at ease.
I went for my 19 week ultrasound today and all seemed to be going well and then i just got that sinking feeling that there was something but i just put it down to more of my paranoia, esp after this weekend re: movements etc. He spent a LONG time looking at the blood flow parts, much longer than i can remember ion any ultrasound with my kids before and then he asked me to clean myself up and sit up and he said that he had not noticed the baby moving much at all (same for me) and there was a heartbeat which was a start and he was going to speak to someone higher and show them the pictures from my scan. next thing another radiologist comes in and asks if he can look and says they have concerns re: a atery and the heartbeat showed up different in 2 measurememnts of it and they said it was looking a little fast (which is what they said at my 17 week ultrasound) By this stage i am a mess and he said he could see little movement now but not much but there was still the heartbeat. he asked about my previous loss and said that bubs is measuring about 5 days behind which is'nt necessarily a concern but they want me to go for a 10 min walk and then see if the baby has moved so they can get a closer look at the heart from the top. So i do that come back and the baby has moved around and the original guy said the heart was looking fine and when i asked what atery they were talking about he said it was something to do with having just 2 in the umblical cord and not 3 which can be a problem if there was only one kidney but this baby has 2. He said based on my last loss at this time the "markers" were a concern whereas in someone who had'nt had a loss may not be seen that way. He said a loss at 18 weeks was abnormal and he rang my OB who was'nt in his office and said they would make my results a priority and my OBs office should have them in 40 mins. So i am now waiting to hear from my Ob and the sonographer at the hospital has said they have noted that i should be referred onto a sonographer who deals with pregnancy only and therefore more expertise but ultimately it is up to the care of my OB and me to make the decision. So...what do we make of everythign and what the hell does a fast heartbeat mean?????????? Or only 2 ateries?
I cannot go through this again and just don't know what to do right now.
give me anything you have guys, i need all advice i can get.
x jo

Jo
I am so sorry I don't have any information for you, I am just crossing everything that it will all be OK. My heart is pounding in my chest for you, hopefully your OB will contact you ASAP.

Oh Jo, I am so so so sorry you are going through this.

I don't have any advice either, as I have never gotten that far.

But I want you to know, that I will be praying and will have every finger and toe crossed for you, that all is OK.

I will be thinking of you.

xxx Sue xxx

Jo - I posted a response in the preg thread. I am praying like that mad - and I hope you get some news and clarification soon. :hug:

Jo,

I don't have any medical experience with this, but my advice would be to talk to your OB, grill him until you fully understand what this means. It sounds like it will probably be all fine but maybe your OB can refer you to a high risk clinic for more tests or something. There's plenty that can be done I'm sure, even if it's to get a better picture of what's going on.

Good luck

jo--Oh, hon.... I wish I had some magical advice to give you! I'm :pray: so hard for you and your little one! Just wanted to send you some big :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: and some :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesgirl: I'm praying all will be well, please keep us up to date with how you're doing!!

Dearest Jo, have you had your meeting with your ob yet?

Maybe they're just being careful because you lost Jack. I am praying really hard that you will post soon and tell us it was all just a scare.

Little baby, you're so loved and wanted. Kick! Kick!

Hi Jo,

Been thinking about you all last night. I am so hoping all is well.

xxx Sue xxx

hi everyone,

i am overwhelmed by how quickly some of you replied and also your thoughts.
I checked back on quickly yesterday afternoon but had to get off before i could reply to any of you due to my other kids needing attention. And of course they don't know yet that i am pregnant again as i wanted to get happily through my 22 week scan, so i am glad i have'nt told them esp since this has come up. (and esp since my daughter still refers to our spare room as baby jacks room)
So update is, my Ob called late in the afternoon (had been in theatre for most of the day) and he said he had organised a scan to be done through a specialist centre (who i have since found out is regarded as one of the most qualified in aust) who will start with a 2d scan and proceed to a 3d if necessary. That will be done tomorrow morning and thankfully my dh has taken the day off to come in with me. My Ob said it could mean something or nothing and wanted to make exactly sure so the scan would be done to find out. Dh was a little anxious for me to be waiting so much longer but i could'nt do too much about it. I have taken today off work as my mind is still a little scattered and i am monitering every possible is it? or is'nt it? movement in my belly. (my mind i swear is starting to play with me!) The baby moved last night a little when i went to bed and the slightest bit today but not anything that has been done previously. i have to take 1/2 a disprin per day to thin my blood and had a teary at the chemist when i asked for disprin that was safe for pregnancy and she said you should'nt take it at all and then the waterworks started while i stood there explaining why i needed to have it to her and the head chemist lady!!
Some questions that were asked..
heartbeat -i am sure i saw on the screen that it was up at 196. They did say that it could be due to my distress but were concerned that another sonographer had noticed the same thing in my 17 week scan.
cord - thanks for all the happy ending stories on this, like i said i am sure that is what they meant but with all hopes dashing from my heart yesterday i may have heard wrong. So if anything more comes of this tomorrow will let you all know.
Flowerchild - they were checking the heart constantly because they said that if the baby has abnormalities in one place quite often even the smallest abnormality can also be found in the heart but it checked out ok. They said the heart is the most sensitive to abnormalities. And i was beyond stresses, even the midwife they bought down to see me said they probably should'nt have jumped the gun so quickly due to my history but if it means i can have this more specialised check then maybe they were right in jumping. The thing is, because i have had 2 healthy kids (5 and 3.5yrs) and then with my pregnancy with jack eventhough he passed, i am still not considered by many a higher risk pregnancy. Which annoys me as i am so fearful this time (and i have always been one of those sickening women who sail through pregnancy, no m.sickness, worked till 39 weeks fulltime etc, so it is not a feeling familiar to me until Jack) that if not my physical side is an issue, my emotional side should be taken into account!
who knows...i woke up this morning and my belly seemed flatter than normal so i had a cry over that, and i know it can't suddenly decrease in less than 24 hrs but crazy paranoid lady is ready to come out at any chance!
anyway -
butterfly warrior - sending hugs to you also! You are amazing to have the strength to think about the future like that. I too have been putting off telling people. My dhs parents still don't know as i decided to wait till ater the 22 week scan. It started off as the 17 week one so i know that feeling for sure. And plus, it has been nice to have this little secret to ourselves anyway. sending you loads of hugs too!
and to the rest of you :grouphug: x 1000! I don't even know where i would be without the BB site! will keep you all posted!!! take crae of yourselves!
sorry for another essay!
x jo

Hi Jo,

So good to hear from you.

You poor thing having to go through this.....

I wish you all the best for your scan tomorrow and will be thinking of you.

:crossfingers: all is OK.

Keep us in touch.

xxx Sue xxx

Holding my breath for you Jo. Get back to us as soon as you've had your scan tomorrow. Lots of love and hugs.

Jo,

Thinking of you and all the best for your scan tomorrow.

Sending you positive vibes...

Danek

Thinking of you, :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Oh, Jo, I'm so sorry you have to worry like this. My subscription to this thread must have gotten messed up so I haven't been here for a few days, but I'm definitely thinking of you and crossing my fingers that everything will be fine. I think it sounds like they're just trying to take care of you extra carefully given your earlier loss, even if their extra care ends up making you feel worse instead of better at a time like this. We're all here for you with lots of :hug:.

The medicare stories are, BTW, appalling. I've had some experiences with idiot bureaucracy with Swedish health care and insurance things, but this particular story about BOTH of you having trouble getting them to understand that people might have two scans in a year -- I don't think that particular situation would happen here, anyway. But only because we have a system where we pay (or don't) at the doctor's rather than getting a refund. I'm sure the Swedes would manage to mess it up if it were a refund system, like with my money for the sick leave I've been on. They sent me a form asking me why I came to Sweden and how long I plan on staying and if my family had moved here with me and to send a copy of my work permit, etc. I was like, "I've lived here for 6 years, my husband is a born and raised Swede, and I'm a Swedish citizen so I don't HAVE a work permit." They actually tried to give me crap about not having the "right" documents -- honestly, their brains are not with them sometimes.