You guys have been busy while I've been trying to sleep!
"Trying" seems to be the optimal word lately. I'm either awake because so much mucus is running down my throat and I can barely breathe, because my sinuses have dried up so much that it stings to breathe, because my jaw and head and face hurt, because I'm coughing non-stop after thinking that I've kicked this thing, or because Kebab has deciding to start doing karate and I can't just sleep while that's going on! So this sinus infection is sort of having very dramatic ups and downs, and I'm pumping the yogurt and no-bottoms-in-bed and such to try to get through the last few days of antibiotics without this yeast infection breaking out for real.
Don't worry about any TMI, buliej. If I'm talking about vaginal itch, then you can talk about bleeding, it's okay. It's good that you're trying to boost your health a bit before you start TTC again. Good luck with the accupuncture and the few pounds you want to take off.
And welcome, Diana! I'm glad that Katie's/Anna's birth have flushed some new ladies out of the woodwork! It sounds like you had a lot of unnecessary salt in your wounds, so to speak, after losing Sebastian. Has your body fully recovered from the infection, did they monitor it closely? I think there are a lot of ladies around these forums using clomid and similar meds, so I bet you'll get lots of info exchange.
Paula, I'm with you -- I don't know if I feel courageous. I sort of feel like half the woman I was a year ago in a lot of ways. But I'm hoping that will take an upswing! With the way you're pushing on with your education and the new job, as well as being strong after losing Charlie (even if you don't always feel strong!), I think you're courageous!
Laney -- I understand, I'm not that kind of person, either. I won't try to convince you that you can take it one scan at a time then, because I recognize myself in your description. I also understand that you have so many weeks left before you pass the weeks of Parker and Shelby's passings, and with another loss fresh in your heart, it's very difficult to look towards that goal of holding your healthy baby in 30 weeks and actually believe that it will happen. I hope that when that day comes, all these weeks will feel like they have passed quickly. I also know what you mean about isolating yourself -- at least from certain people. I have backed away from a good friend of mine whose comments after Beiron's passing were just too much for me to get out of my head, even though she experienced a long and difficult TTC and a loss before having her baby. It was along the same lines as the "it wasn't a good time" comment; she kept telling me how "these things happen for a reason" and she now thinks she's being super encouraging by saying "see? This is the baby you were meant to have!" about Kebab. It just doesn't sit right with me.
Lan, portrait of Hamish really is beautiful.
Helen, how long has your cousin been working on the IVF? Hopefully this is just a rocky beginning for her rather than something she's been struggling with for some time?
Sue -- sounds like things are going great in there. Did you get to hear the heartbeat too, or did your OB just listen? The home doppler we have has headphones (but two jacks, so DH and I can listen together) but my midwife's doppler plays out loud. She actually had a practicing midwife there last week (sooo many students all the time, it's a university town) who tried to do the doppler, but my midwife got fed up with her after 7 or 8 minutes and did it herself. :P
Hi Tildy, thanks for the welcome. I feel right at home here already. Sorry you're feeling so unwell, I hope you get better very soon and congratulations on your pregnancy! I am also very very sorry for your loss.
I believe my body has now recovered but my old OB did nothing to monitor me after my loss. If it wasn't for me being so paranoid (and thank goodness I was) and calling him every 5 minutes, who knows where I would have ended up. Infact, I had to push to see him before I got my 1st curette because he kept saying the bleeding was normal after such a late loss. It was at this appt that he decided to look at a report in my file and said "Oh you also have an acute infection" - this BT was taken just after the birth so by this stage had the infection for over a week - I was so cranky that he had been sitting on that report for a whole week and didn't call me! Anyway, after the 1st D&C I was still bleeding quite heavily after a week so again went to see him, he did an US and said "I'm confident everything looks great, I'm happy with how the procedure went". Sorry, the saga continutes... Then, after another week of heavy bleeding after that checkup, I went back again and he did another US and said "Hmmm I'm not so confident as I was last week, I can see that you still have retained placenta that I must have missed". WTF? How can you look one week and it's clear and 2 weeks later it's not??? That 2nd D&C was touch and go too - I was bleeding so heavily the nurse said if it didn't stop soon I may have faced a hysterectomy! They put me on a drip to help contract the blood vessels in my uterus and after about 6 hours the bleeding was deemed "normal" by D&C standards. Thank you God...
So sorry for the long, drawn out explanation above - I have never actually written about the details in any of my threads but felt right at home to do so here. Well I must say I feel so much better now...
Anyway, needless to say I have since dumped him and am seeing a FS now.
D x
Last edited by dd0207; November 21st, 2008 at 01:55 PM.
Diana, I'm glad you have now found a doctor you're comfortable with, it's such an important thing when you're TTC after a loss. Your old one sounds like a lemon. From what I understand infections with incompetant cervix are very common and he should have checked for it straight away.
Buliej, welcome!! I look forward to getting to know yourself and Diana.
Lan, Edward's eyes being open was a little odd, I know they're supposed to be fused shut at 22 weeks. As I had a C-section under general I didn't see him till well after the birth, and one eye was slightly open and the other closed. The pictures weren't great so I asked DH to open both eyes, took some pics then we closed both. He was also a normal skin colour, not bright red as he should have been, because he was very anaemic, which is why the autopsy thought that bleeding may have been a cause. I think I will get the portrait done. I haven't looked at his pictures for a while though, I've sort of avoided it because I get so upset and have tried to avoid getting too worked up during this pregnancy. It sort of worked until this week but not so much now.
Hi to all ladies, looking forward to more good scan news from those having them shortly.
WOW we've had an adreniline rush of posts in here in the last day or so. How wonderful.
Firstly, welcome Diana. I'm so glad you felt comfortable opening up here. And don't worry about long rants. We are all partial to them from time to time and it is such a good way to process your thoughts as you are typing and thinking. It is also good to get positive reinforcement that you are normal and not a freak. Which I always think I am by the way!!
Helen, I'll be thinking of you on Monday and looking forward to hearing good news when I get back on Monday night.
Tildy, thank you for the boost of confidence and I'm so sorry you are still not feeling great. Lovely that Kebab has taken up karate though. Lets hope all the bubs in this thread have his enthusiasm for kicking. What a lovely reassurance it must be for you.
Hi to Lan, Rozzie, Sue, Jo, Katie, Laney, Cindee, Bulije and I'm sure I've forgotten half of you but not intentionally, I'm just friend from the 3hr commute ever day this week.
I've had a shocker but have ended the week feeling not too bad. As you know I've been on thyroid meds for a month or so and have just started the progesterone cream. I felt great after a day or so on the cream but then was having borderline anxiety attacks earlier in the week. My heart was racing, my hands shaking and I was convinced I was dying. It turns out I had gone from hypo thyroid to hyper. Apparently the progesterone can alleviate the need for high thyroid doses. Anyway, I am experimenting with the levels and feel like I am getting there. At least now I know what my body gets jittery etc and am not panicking as much. I'm not sure that ttc will be an option next month but am hopeful for Jan. I am so desperate to be pregnant again with a little bub on the way, but I am also terrified and want to be in as good health as I can.
On another note, DH just came in before asking if my friend has had her bub yet (referring to Katie), I have been rushing home and straight on the computer and he is always asking. Anyway, when I told him yes, he started woo hooing and came in to give me a high five. It seems he was just as anxious as the rest of us that Katie got to bring baby Anna into the world happy and healthy!
I am so glad we have some new girls in here. It reminds me how close we all have become, you sometimes forget what it must seem to someone looking in and I'm glad that people can tell how close we all are. There is always room for more in the group and I can't tell you all how often I thank my lucky stars for finding you all. Group hug!!
Oooh Rozzie, did my posting of Hamish's pic put Edward's photos fresh in your mind? I always seem to stick my foot in it with you. I'm sorry if I'm making this time harder for you. You know I love you and really, really don't mean it if I make you sad. Bad Lan!
Hello Diana, I'm glad you feel at home here. I absolutely agree with everyone here that these ladies are some of my bestest friends. Some of the things we share here, I would not tell anyone else. I am sorry for the loss of little Sebastian and hope that you'll catch the baby bug from all the preggers ladies here.
Welcome again to Buliej. I've had heaps of natural therapies in my frenzied attempts to control my life after losing our little boy so if you want to know about naturopathy, homoepathy or discuss acupuncture, I'm here!
Paula, that's scary about the anxiety attacks. I would certainly think that I was dying too. How come you have to adjust the dosage yourself? How are you supposed to know? It is so important to feel right before starting TTC isn't it? Your DH sounds cool. You have such a lovely family!
Tildy, those kicks are the best, aren't they? Just hearing about Kebab's action routine gets me excited. My mind has gone blank... do we know the gender yet? Your body's being very inconsiderate with the sinus and yeast issue. Not fair, give the lady a break!
Just a fast note to wish you all a very happy weekend.
Hammi - I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on the various natural therapies you tried. I'm going continue the acupuncture as I find it incredibly relaxing and do believe it can help some people. Someone also told me reflexology may be worth checking at...and today, a friend mentioned yoga (mostly as a way to learn how to settle my mind which seems to race non-stop these days).
I'm so happy that so many of you are pregnant - many lucky little babies on the way!
Lan, thanks for your support. The reason I am adjusting the dosage myself is that its not a real science. Basically the dosage which works is the dosage which is right. Especially because low progesterone can stuff up your thyroid and vice versa. It seems if you up one you need less of the other. At the moment I feel like I am getting better results from the progesterone so am dropping the thyroid which is what has been giving me the panic attacks. I have my pms week coming up next week so it will be a good opportunity to see if I am close to the mark. Since dropping my thyroid dose I am feeling so much better so fingers crossed.
As soon as I feel confident with it DH and I are off to the bedroom!!
Speaking of which I am very confused about potential BFP dates. I know they must be soon. Lan and Jo please let me know so that I can send you both lots of BFP vibes.
I hope you have all had a lovely weekend, we have had the most insane whether in Bris, as youv'e probably heard on the news. Crazy storms through the week, which luckily we didn't get the worst of, but yesterday was sooo hot and today is like an Autumn day! Went to bed last night with the air con on and woke up this morning under blankets with a beautiful crisp breeze blowing in, bizarre! It made me get to thinking about Autumn though and how close we will be to having our little one then, I just hope that is the way it all works out. Isn't it funny how the strangest things give us hope, thank God! Bring on Autumn!! Any way finally got to see my cousin today, (she lives in Newcastle, but were up for her sis wedding), apparently she doesn't have enough follicles to do an IVF cycle so they have canned this cycle (bugger) but on the up side they can still try naturally as there are still eggs there, problem is they can't guarantee how many! The Dr said at most there could be 4! But statistics say usually only 50% will produce eggs (I think that is what she said) so she could end up with 1, 2, 3 or 4, if she fell naturally this time. I am crossing everything I have for her, they are moving back to Brisbane in April so if she has multiples at least we will all be here to lend a hand!
I am starting to get nervous about my scan tomorrow, Cooper was born alive so I have only ever had 'happy' scans, unlike so many of you, but it is so much scarier this time, but I have a good feeling.
Helen, I am so glad this awful weather is giving you hope! We are on the Gold Coast but like you have managed to miss the worst of the weather.
I hope your cousin gets lucky. It must be such a stressful process.
I will have everything crossed for your scan tomorrow. I wish there was more I could do, but hopefully that will get the universe shifting a bit in the right direction for you.
Good luck and I look forward to some happy news when I get home tomorrow night!
Thanks for the welcome everyone. I'm so glad I took the giant leap and joined you all. Congratulations on your pregnancy Rozzie & Helen.
Helen, hope all went well with the scan today and I really hope all goes well for your cousin.
Paula, sorry you haven't been feeling well lately but glad to hear you're getting a little better after changing your dosage of meds. Sounds like you're not too far away from some serious action! Praying your BFP is just around the corner...
AFM, I'm due for AF today and so far she has not reared her ugly head. I have mild cramping and heaved 3 times this morning, once brushing my teeth and twice when I walked into the bathroom at work. Strange... I'm assuming it would be too early for morning sickness wouldn't it? I didn't get it until about week 7 with my previous pregnancy. I've probably caught a bug or something and I'm pretty sure it's not the pregnancy bug going around on this thread!But God how I'm praying it is...
Does anyone know if Clomid can make you feel this sick due to high prog levels?
I am a lucky one that doesnt suffer too badly with M/S. But I have heard of girls getting m/s sickness very early and thats how they know they are pregnant. I will have my fingers crossed for you. When do you think you will do a test???
Diana, most M/S doesn't start till around 6 weeks but it can start at 4... this time I was queasy at bad smells from 5 weeks.
Lan, don't worry, you didn't upset me!!! I wasn't saying that seeing your photo made me sad, just that I had already hit a wall. It was nothing you said or did.
I am not having a good week, I just want this week to be OVER!!! as it's leading up to the time Edward died I keep thinking back to this time and how happy, and blissfully ignorant I was at what was to come. It's not like I expect anything to go wrong, it's just I seem powerless to stop dwelling on memories. I'm anxious and I can't get any work done, but then if I were to take leave I'd be home alone and that would be even worse.
I can't wait for next week when it's all new and a clean slate. We have another ultrasound on Wednesday and will see the doctor then, which is good because he was away last time and we haven't seen him since the 12 week scan.
On the upside baby kicks a lot. Last night Alec and I had a shower together (but that's as far as it went poor man!) then we lay on our bed chatting, feeling kicks and watching my stomach move. It was really nice. Baby was very obliging by moving lots.
Hi everyone, I am exhausted it has been a really long day and of course didn't sleep well last night at all, so this will be a quick one. Scan seemed to go really well bub looked great and wouldn't stop moving, I swear there was a moment when the sonographer pushed down hard that I felt a boot! I haven't got the full results back for the NT part as my bloods hadn't come through apparently, so will have that towards the end of the week. It was lovely to see the little munchkin dancing away, and on our way out we seen the most beautiful newborn going home, and for the first time I was really excited instead of having that lump in my throat, why hasn't anyone invented that damn time capsule yet! I would love to jump past the 2nd trimester!
Diana - Have you got your AF yet?? Could very well be MS, as you would be starting to produce HCG by now which is the culprit! Keep us posted we love BFP's!!!!!
Rozzie I wish this week was past for you too, soon you will have that clean slate.
Hammi & Jo - When are your testing days???
Katie - Thinking of you, how is motherhood going?
Hi to all
It's good that you're trying to boost your health a bit before you start TTC again. Good luck with the accupuncture and the few pounds you want to take off.
and thinking of you.
I wish this week was past for you too, soon you will have that clean slate.
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