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Happy angelaversary Nathaniel. I hope you are safe and happy where you are and thank you for your beautiful gift of hope in the form of Anna. Hugs to you Katie. I can only imagine that having Anna in your arms would intensify your sense of loss because now you really know what you don't have with Nathaniel.
Happy angelaversary to Parker. I hope you enjoy blowing out your birthday candle with Nathaniel. Please guide the little baby in your mummy's tummy safely into this world so that you parents will have an earth baby to cuddle. Hugs to you Laney.
Good luck today Helen. I would be as nervous as anything but you knew in your gut that you wanted this done and you do know your own body best. Hope it's not too painful. Eek.
Jo, we are a sad pair! Maybe it's the stress of TTC? I didn't think I was but your body always knows even if your mind is in denial. How about a fruit and vegie detox where you eat nothing but fruit and vegies for 24hrs? That should purge! I imagined what it was like for you to see that couple and their baby and I feel sick in my stomach for you. Of course you're happy for them but how can you not look at that child and not think of your own little Jack and his button nose. Hugs!
Hi and hugs to everyone.
Oh Diana, meeting next year is a good idea. Maybe we'll be celebrating BFP's then!
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Megan, I?m happy you feel more at peace after the results. It does seem you made the right decision for Jamsine even though it was heartbreaking for you. :pray: that January is your month.
Katie & Laney, big hugs to you. Hope Anna gives you lots of little smiles to ease a little bit of the pain today and Laney, hope baby kicks you to tears!
Helen, hope all went well today and can?t wait to hear from you.
Oh Jo, I just want to send you the biggest :hug: ever. I know it would have been extremely difficult to see your friend?s baby. You are very brave (well on the outside at least).
Sorry you haven?t been feeling well, can you take a laxative to at least help ease the pain? There are some safe ones to take like Metamucil or Coloxyl just in case :D
Lan, really looking forward to meeting you and Megan and I?m picturing us all bringing our sticks to show each other our BFPs!
Hi to everyone else.
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jo76: sounds like your weekend was healing (and then you had to see your friends' baby, sigh). Best of luck.
but as for your *ahem* TMI problem--prunes, raisins, apple juice and if that doesn't work, coffee with a chocolate bar...
Hammi: best of luck with your testing.
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Good morning girls
:hug::hug::hug: for Katie & Laney today. Thinking of you both.
Lan - also :pray: all goes well for you today. Please as soon as you can tell us how you went.
Jo - you are such a strong person and it is totally understandable how you reacted. It must have been so hard.
Sorry this is a quick one, but a big hello to everyone else.
I am heading off to the Dr's this afternoon (got in earlier) for a reassurance check of heartbeat. Struggling a bit today and just need it. Though a girl at work is questioning why I have to go!!!!! :wall: It is so frustrating sometimes.
All my love to you all
xxx Sue xxx
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Hello,
I hope you heard a nice big heartbeat today Sryan. Jo, so sorry that you got upset today seeing your baby, totally understandable, particularly with the baby's name as well. I hope your feeling better, you too Lan.
How did the procedure go today Helen, hope you are feeling ok and all went really well.
TM, hope you are feeling ok, any morning sickness?
Hello to everyone.
Megan
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Laney and Katie, how did you survive yesterday. Although today is actually Wed for you, isn't it Laney?
Helen, hope the procedure went well yesterday. How are you feeling?
Sue, do you feel better now after hearing your bub's h/b?
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sryan: fingers crossed. Keep us posted
Berry1: I'm only four weeks. I never get morning sickness this early, but thanks so much for asking!!!
AFM: My challenge right now is to stay sane and emotionally stable. Sometimes I'm so serene and at peace, and then an hour later I'm worrying about everything. But after four m/c, I guess that emotional roller coaster is to be expected... right at this very second I'm in my serene space.
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Hi Everyone.
Well I survived yesterday. I was teary at times but managed to get through the day relatively peacefully. My MIL was here so we lit the candle at 4:30 (which is when we found out last year at the scan that Nathaniel had died) and put it in front of his white roses and I placed my angel statue there as well. I went to Mass in the morning on my own and said some prayers for him as well - it was nice to just go on my own as it felt like a private meeting between the two of us. I asked God to look after Nathaniel for me and promise that I will get my cuddle from him one day.
TM - I know this pregnancy will be an emotional roller coaster for you - it is so hard to stay positive when you have so many anxieties nagging you. Do whatever it takes to get some peace - become a psycho scan lady like me and have one every week from 11-21 weeks! I got the account from my Ob last week and it showed that during this preg I had 21 appointments with him - actually made me laugh. I am sending you all the baby vibes and positive vibes you need :hug:
Sue - how did the heartbeat check go? I am all for extra monitoring if it gives you some peace of mind.
Berry - I don't think I have welcomed you to the group - I hope you find comfort and support here and that you are able to express the pain and grief you feel over the loss of Jasmine. Good luck with your TTC journey when you decide to start on it.
Jo - so sorry that you had to see the baby on the weekend - it is so hard especially when you are not the one making the decision to see the child. I think you did amazingly well to cope the way you did. I hope you DH passed on your message and that your friends understand how hard it is not only to see their baby but hear the name Jack spoken. :hug:
Lan - I can't wait for you to test! We could do with another roll of BFPs.
Thank you all so much for your messages of support for yesterday. It has helped so much to know that Nathaniel is remembered by so many.
Hi to everyone - sorry I have been neglectful. :grouphug:
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Hi girls,
Sorry taken me so long to post.
Everything went well yesterday. Heard baby's heartbeat. Though at first she had the doppler machine too low and couldnt find it - man did that freak me out!!!
Anyway she went a little higher and there it was, nice and strong and then heard a little swoosh and baby was moving around and lost the heartbeat again.
But I feel heaps heaps better. Especially with an old work colleague coming in today and my best friend from the countrycoming this weekend to stay, at least I can feel more confident about getting excited.
Thank you all for thinking of me.
xxx Sue xxx
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Hello everyone,
I have recently been labelled a 'recurrent m/c' patient after having 3 m/c in 12 months, and am pretty sure I am about to go through my fourth. On Tuesday I went in to have 5 different blood tests for recurrent m/c, I think they were for B12, Folate, GTT and 2 others that I cannot for the life of me remember and cannot read (dr's handwriting its impossible to read!). I have also had tests for progesterone levels on cd21 (on a number of occassions) and I was just wandering if any one can tell me if there are other tests they can do for recurrent m/c that I have not been told about. My dr is not an fs, he is an ob/gyn (a friend of the family) and I dont know if he is aware of all the possible test for m/c or not, but ofcourse he is doing me such a huge favour by helping me that I do not want to ask. Can anyone help me?
Thankyou, Issy
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Hi Issy,
Welcome to our thread. Though the circumstances are not the best and we wish you werent here, but welcome anyway.
I have had 3 miscarriages as well and went through so many tests, that I can not remember them all, but flowerchild has put a lot of things in the following link, which might help you .
Though I think it is important to see a fs, as they deal with fertility a lot more. All my tests came back clear and I think my issues have to do with sugar and hormone levels.
I see that you are from SA and so am I. I went and saw Repromed and they have helped me a lot.
Though I have been through IVF, my current pregnancy is a natural conception and is going really well.
I wish you all the best and please if you want to ask any further questions, please do not hesitate, the girls here are absolutely wonderful.
xxx Sue xxx
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hey girls,
Firstly - Issy02 welcome to our little group. I too wish you had'nt had any reason to come here but i am very glad you found us.
Katie - i got teary reading about you and nathaniels moment at mass - i totally get the "just you and him" moment. It just how i felt at the lake. But when you spoke about promising to give you a cuddle - OMG! tears were running down my face. Really special ....
syran -i m really happy that you got the heartbeat! A little reassurance goes a long way... enjoy your weekend now ok!!!
As for me...Af came today and is horribly painful and just blargh! I never get cramping but boy is it making up for lost time! I am hoping it is gone by sunday night when i have our work chrissy party...
Hope Laney and hgirs are ok!
xx jo
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Hi Girls
Just a quick hello from me. Sorry I have been awol this week. I have been lurking but no time to post. Quite an emotional week for so many of us it seems.
Sue: when I read your post I freaked out about the not finding a heartbeat at first. You must have literally died. I am still freaked out thinking about it. Thank God all was good and bub did a little swoosh for you as well. phew!!
Jo: so sorry about AF. I think I remember you saying that you haven't checked progesterone levels before. If you are getting cramps then it might be worth looking into. I have suffered pms and painful periods for quite a few years and just had my first period after starting progesterone cream and OMG I can't believe the difference. Anyway, if you are interested and want to know more let me know. Just a thought.
Issy: welcome to this fantastic group and like everyone else I am sorry you needed to find us but glad you did. I don't have any info that would help you other than the progesterone which it seems like you've already checked. Have they checked thyroid? I've just been through some issues with that as well. Also with the progesterone, do you know what your levels were. My Dr says they can still be in normal and be too low, especially for pregnancy. If you know what yours are I can tell you if they are low etc, just need to make sure it is day 21 which I think you said your tests were.
TM: congrats on the BFP, I don't think I was here when you were around before. Lets hope your serene moments outweight the freaking out ones. I had a freak out 2 nights ago about ttc next month so I can only imagine how worried you must get sometimes. Hugs from me to you!
Lan: "is pregnant"... just spreading the rumour a bit more :)
Katie: sounds like you had a perfect day to remember Nathanial, as much as that is possible anyway. I'm with Jo on the tearing up front. I often picture myself on that day when I finally get to hold Charlie in my arms and as sad as it makes me feel it is also comforting in a way as well. I have to believe that she knows Ethan and her Dad need me here with them but when I'm old and gray and my time is up, its nice to think that I have that to look forward to. In the meantime I try and find ways to be with her and let her know I love her. Isn't it awesome that you can share your feeligs about going to mass with women who totally get it. You are a wonderful mother to both Nathaniel and Anna and should be so proud of the way you take care of both of them.
Helen: hope your op went well today. I'm sure it did and we can look forward to continuing your countdown to the big day!
Gotta run girls, hi to everyone i've missed and look forward to hearing more updates on how you are all going.
Paula
xox
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Oh I just read Katie's post and all your replies and I really wish we could have a real group cuddle right now. I feel so sad for all our angels and broken hearts, yet so hopeful with the strength each of you show through the most difficult times and so grateful that we found each other. Boo hoo. Hug, hug, kiss kiss.
Hey! How come AF arrived for you Jo? I had it pictured in my head that you would announce your BFP, then I would mine, then Diana, then Paula, then Megan then we all lived happily ever after. Never mind, there's always next month. This one has been very difficult for you and you still have to get over Madison's EDD next week. So you'll TTC in Dec then skip Jan? Paula's right, you shouldn't get cramps with your period like that. Definitely worth checking out your progesterone. Have you charted your temps? That's a good, non-invasive way of seeing if you hormones are behaving.
Paula, I feel that AF mole coming so we may have to start a new rumour soon. I don't feel as pregnant anymore so maybe the delusion is wearing off! I don't really mind, it would be comforting to TTC with a whole bunch of you guys.
Hello Issy! Welcome and good luck for a speedy BFP soon!
I so crave a cuddle from my little Hammy boy tonight. All these images in my head of sleeping babies finally waking up to see their mummies who long for them so much.... Have I ever told you that I secretly and fervently hope that my Hamish will still come back to me? David said that's unfair to the next baby and I know that but I still want to believe...
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Hi Ladies,
Katie, yesterday sounded like a lovely day for you. It's funny you and Paula talk about being with your babies again one day. I'm not religious, but I can actually picture myself on my deathbed with my children, telling them I'm going to see their big brother. One day we'll get our cuddles.
Laney, hope today/yesterday was peaceful also...
Jo, sorry to hear AF arrived. I also think you did very well with your friend. I personally wouldn't have been able to see them at all, I probably would have run away! So don't feel bad, you managed well.
TM, congrats on the BFP!!! I can't remember your background, did they ever find a cause for your losses? Are you on any treatment or extra monitoring? I hope you have something to give you a bit of confidence.
Megan, glad to hear that Jasmine's autopsy could give you a bit of closure... I don't think the results are ever easy to hear but at least when they're definitive you know what you're dealing with. You saved your little girl a lot of pain by the sounds of it. I hope the meeting with the geneticist is reassuring for you.
Helen, you're probably resting up still, hope you're not in too much pain!!
Lan is pregnant... chinese whispers...
Sue, super glad you heard the H/B now you can relax until your scan in 2 weeks. Are you going to find out the sex?? Morph scans are the best, you can see so much detail, facial features, fingers and toes etc
Issy, welcome and I hope you get a speedy BFP like many of us have recently. Did you have any children prior to your losses? I encourage you to check the link Sue provided. The main tests I would suggest are for clotting disorders (and there are various kinds which have different tests) anti-nuclear antibodies and hormonal imbalances. Get copies of all your tests so you can keep track of what you've been cleared of also, I found this useful when seeing a new doctor if that's what you end up doing.
As for me, I had another scan and doctor's appointment yesterday. I was a bit diasappointed as the scan was quite quick, just checked growth and blood flow, though she did say my blood flow was the best she'd seen in a long time so happy with that!!! The doctor told me to go off the clexane, based on the fact that the placental blood flow is great, my antibody levels are low and the aspirin will provide some effect anyway. I am still a bit nervous as it's been a bit of a crutch for me, but looking at it objectively I'd probably have to agree with his recommendation. I have another scan in 5 weeks so they can make sure things are ok. The bad news was I was thinking as my C-section incision was low transverse I'd have a normal VBAC, but he said even though the incision was low the lower segment of the uterus had probably not formed so the scar could still end up in the muscular part, which increases the risk of uterine rupture. He said I could still go for VBAC, but will have to be closely monitored. Bubs is kicking away a lot. It's quite bizarre being in new territory pregnancy wise now!!
I have a cold which I gave to DH, so we're both feeling sorry for ourselves right now, had toast and tea for dinner.
Haven't heard from Tildy for a while, hope everything's ok???
Love Rozzie
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Hello Everyone,
Went to the geneticist today, he didn't shed anymore light on the situation, but we will be doing one more test for a rare gene that causes mosacism. He also said our case was quite rare, they hardly see situations like ours, which quite surprised me. They don't expect it to happen again, said would be REALLY rare, so hopefully next time will be ok. Anyway, still going to TTC from Jan, very scary.
Issy, welcome to our thread, I too am sorry you are here, sounds like you have had a really tough year. I pray that you get the answers you need to have a healthy successful pregnancy.
TM, hang in there and take good care of yourself, sticky vibes for you! Sue, great news about the heartbeat, almost 18-weeks you are doing really well.
Katie, your day remembering Nathaniel sounded very special. He is certainly with the Lord in a place where there are no tears, no pain only love & joy, sounds good doesn't it.
Megan
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Hi Ladies,
Berry, I am glad that they are doing a few more tests to help ease your mind. I hope you feel ready to TTC after hearing how rare your situation was.
Rozzie, I am glad that your scan went well. My doctor told me that I could stop the heparin after 25 weeks if I wanted to as well. If the blood supply sets up well you usually don't need the thinners anymore. My high risk doctor told me that I had to keep taking it throughout the pregnancy. I decided that I am going to continue taking it. It helps me relax and feel like I am doing something to help this bub into the world.
Lan, don't give up hope yet. I never really feel pregnant, not until I feel lots of big kicks.
Jo, I am sorry that you have to deal with AF. The firt few Af's after I had Shelby were pretty painful but they didn't last very long. I know how difficult it is to get your AF when you are TTC. I hope that you are able to stay positive. You and your DH get a little extra time to reconnect through TTC. :hug:
Issy, I am sorry to hear about your losses. I am glad that you found this group. These ladies have helped me get through a very difficult year. I have had just about every test possible. Alot of lupus tests and other clotting disorders. There are about 30 pages of tests that were done and I still do not have an answer.
Sue, I am so glad that your appt went well. Hearing that HB always helps me relax even if it is just for a little while.
Katie, Your post about Nathaniel was beautiful. I am glad that you were able to have a peaceful day.
TM, congrats on the BFP!
I'm sorry if I have missed anyone. There were a ton of posts to catch up on.
Yesterday was okay. Thank you for remembering Parker. In the morning DH and I took a little walk in the park by my parents house. We spent a little time talking about and remembering Parker with a few tears. We went shopping and got Parker and Shelby a Christmas ornament for the tree. I did that last year for Parker as well. My family didn't remember the date, I didn't really expect them to. It hurts that my angels aren't as important to them as they are to DH and I. Then we had to drive home, it was a long 5 hours.
I have another ultrasound tomorrow morning and I talk to the doctor. I am starting to get a bit more nervous now. There are only a few weeks before the scan that showed a growth problem with Parker and Shelby. I can't believe it is time to worry about that already. I am trying to take it one day at a time.
