Trying to Conceive after Stillbirth/Late Loss/Recurrant Miscarriage October

Hi everybody, we just had a weekend away camping so I have missed out on all you girls! Well I think my MS is starting to kick in, a little later than normal but it's here! Although I said to my FIL the other day, I couldn't care if I was sick the whole 9 months as long as I get to bring this one home. I have had both my mother and MIL ringing me nearly every day to see if I am OK, it is nice but starting to make a bit batty! I just broached the subject of Xmas with mum as we normally go out to their property, about 4 hours west of Brissy. I have said that I would prefer to stay here, so I think they should all come down here, which was fine. last Xmas I was 7 wks with Cooper, we were towing our camper van and the bloody tow bar snapped! Our camper went off into the side grassed area finally stopping under a tree with hardly a scratch on it! Thank god it didn't go the other way into the traffic. Then at dinner time, I started bleeding A LOT, which settled after about 2 hours, I was sure I had lost him then. So I can sympathize with everyone on the whole XMAS thing, I am not sure I am looking forward to it on some levels either.

Rozzie - It is weird telling people isn't it? I told my sister today, their reaction annoyed me, she was all very bubbly and telling me how I have to 'just think positive'. I am reading way too much into it I know, but it just hit home that she really has no idea about what I have been through. I am seriously thinking about emailing Fernwood and giving them a piece of my mind about that ad! Glad I'm not the only one bothered by it.
Katie - Nesting WOW!!
Paula - I am glad Charlie's EDD went OK and you had a nice time with DH, hugs for the next day though, I sometimes get that horror that just floods me. Ethan is such a special boy.
Tildy - I hope you guys don't get anymore bad news, doesn't the world know you don't need it?? We are a bit concerned as well, we have 2 investment properties that we really struggled with last year, we are seriously thinking about selling one off soon, I just don't need the extra stress, we won't really make a cent but at least it will free up some cash flow. I hope things settle for you.
Sue - The NT is scary, but you are right they have such high false results, but I am sure it will be fine.
Lan - Are you getting excited???
Jo - Your inlaws sound alot like one of my friends, they no longer speak and the sad thing is they haven't seen two of the three children, it amazes me how pride could possibly be more important than children.

Hi to everyone else I have forgotten, I am just about falling asleep and need to go shower, etc.
Bye

Helen -- no matter how people react when they find out that I'm pregnant again, it mostly seems to irritate me. I've had reactions like your sister's -- bubbly and all positive and stuff. I'm sorry, but I just hate bubbly. I'm fully anti-bubble. I get nervous when people are excited and in this case feel even more pressure than normal to be wholly un-like myself and try to bubble back -- and of course, I fail. But when people are all reserved and stuff I get mad, because SOMEONE has to be happy for me if I'm not yet. On Friday we were out at a bar listening to some friends' band play (deja vu AGAIN -- we did the same last time on the same day of the pregnancy!) and THREE pregnant friends/friends' wives were there. All of them came over and congratulated me, and I was just... UGH. Not only do I not know them very well (and I suspect they don't know so much about our miscarriage), but they're all more pregnant than I am, and on the heals of our EDD, that actually just made me angry. I was angry at them for the fact that they're going to have babies before me even though I was "first" and just wanted them to go away and stop talking to me! :P

Rozzie -- Yes, the doppler really is a great thing, I'm glad you wrote about it so that I bought one, too! I haven't felt any movement yet, so I'm glad I can listen to the little heartbeat every night and then remind myself that there's still plenty of time left before Kebab is supposed to be doing sommersaults. I read somewhere that it can take longer before you feel the movements if you're overweight, and though I don't get why that would be, it could mean that I have a while yet before I feel anything definite. I've also been having trouble sleeping despite being very tired, and I remember a similar develop last time. It's sort of hard to get comfortable. MIL said "if you think it's hard to get comfortable NOW!" of course.

Katie -- I started with the nesting already! As far as rearranging furniture and stuff, that is; cleaning has gone seriously down the tubes in our house. DH has, rather than cleaning more given that I'm tired, cleaned less than he usually does because he and I have far too much synnergy there... if I'm slacking then he slacks. But this weekend I sort of had a new wave of energy, and I cleaned and we moved the wardrobes out of our "cat room" (yes, the cats had their own room, while we waited to fill up rooms with kids!) and into our bedroom. I'm so pleased with how it turned out, as it's just lovely to have a "new" bedroom and it's so much nicer to have our clothes right there in our own room! But I know what you mean about messing things up -- after our efforts, the OTHER 3 bedrooms are all in chaos! But, you know, baby steps... toward a baby room!

Mrs Robbo, I have to agree than Ethan seems like a little gem! I have never had kids around me in my life, so I don't have a good radar for what kinds of things they might or might say, but I'm just floored by some of his comments (and by those from Jo's kids about Jack and Madison!).

Jo, I hate to hear that your relationship with DH's family is making things worse for you at a time when you need people who help you make things better. It's always such a tough road to walk with in-laws, because those are the relationships you sort of have the least control over -- you can tell even your own mother to f*** off if you so choose but the in-laws are not yours to discard! :( I feel very lucky in that sense because I have super in-laws, and DH is lucky that I want less to do with my own family than he does, so he doesn't get thrust into their psychosis too often. The most important thing in other words is that DH supports you when it comes to them, so that if you need to be home alone for Christmas (and it's okay to need that!) then he will take that conversation with them himself and the eventual fall-out. Hmm, you could even make use of a little white lie there -- if she insists that you need to see a counselor, you could say that you took her advice and that the counselor urged you guys to spend Christmas alone! :o

Hammi - we think about you every day, too!

Sue -- that's a lot of worry you have to handle over the NT scan/amnio etc. questions. I can't think of anything intelligent to say about it, but I wanted to let you know I am sympathetic and hoping for the best, whatever you decide to do!

Hi Ladies,

Jo, You and your DH have the right to be a little selfish this Christmas. You do not need the extra stress on you or your relationship. Just remember that you have both been through a lot and your family will understand. Even if they don't act like it, they do love you and want the best for you. My DH and I decided to have a quiet Christmas at home this year too. Our Families are very important to us but trying to visit everyone would just be too stressful this year.

I am not trying to pressure you into heparin. I know that it is a huge decision and not for everyone. I know that you haven't even talked to you DH about giving pregnancy another try yet. I am just the kind of person that is always thinking two steps ahead. I guess for others as well as for myself. Just remember that the doctors have no idea if heparin would help you or even me. They really don't know everything to test for yet either. It might be the miracle drug that will fix my mystery problem or yours. There really is no way of knowing unless you try it, it is the same with any drugs they give us.

Rozzie, I hate telling people that I am pregnant. I was so excited to tell everyone about Parker. I left work when I was pregnant with Parker, I was ready to stay home with him. I just can't bring myself to start working outside the house again. I don't have to deal with all of the coworkers asking about my pregnancy and having to explain another loss. If I start working again it almost feels like I am giving up hope of bringing home a baby.

Helen, I pretty much hate telling people that I am pregnant just because I don't want to deal with their reactions. I have decided that I don't even want to talk about my losses or pregnancy with my mother. Every time I talk to her she tells me some story she was told about someone else?s loss. She even told her doctor about what has happened to my DH and me. She doesn't even know all of the specifics (which she would get wrong even if she did know them) but she thinks her doctor can give me a diagnosis. She keeps telling me not to give up hope, which makes me so angry for some reason. I yelled at her the other day and asked her if she has ever had to hold her dead baby. I feel bad about it but she wouldn't back off.

Katie, I am glad that you are getting so excited. You might have to get used to the house being a little messier than usual. Once your little one comes home I am sure staying organized is going to be even more difficult.

Hi to all that I missed.

As for me. My hcg level are doing great. The nurse said they more than doubled. She also said that it is most likely just one in there so my dream about twins was just that, a dream. I have my ultrasound next Monday. Exactly a week from right now. I will be 7 weeks and a couple of days so not too much to look at. It will pretty much be to help me calm down a little and for accurate dates.

I found out over the weekend that my sister is pregnant. I was a little upset about how I found out. She didn't even call me to tell me. She posted a ticker on her myspace page. I know that it must be difficult for her to tell me something like that but there are better ways for me to find out. She will be less than a week behind me. I am a little scared about her EDD being so close to mine. What if something doesn't go right with my pregnancy again? I don't think I would ever be able to be near her or the baby. I don't really want to talk to her about it yet because I will be forced to tell her that I am pregnant again. I would rather wait a little while before I tell everyone.

Parker 7/27/07 @ 22 weeks :angel:
Shelby 5/27/08 @ 28 weeks :angel:
bean 9/5/08 @ 5 weeks :angel:

hi!
you guys were busy yesterday!!!I thought i would jump on for a quick read and now if i reply to you all i'll be late!!
just want to say a quick thanks for your support on the in law thing -my FIL is wonderful, it is the MIL and DHs brother and SIL and that are the issue now. i'll write more later as i am gonna get into something long!
take care!
x jo
p/s paula hope you got some answers from your specialist!!!

Hi all. Just read through all your posts and it all rings true for me as well. I totally understand all the reasons you have given for avoiding having to tell people you are pregnant. People's reactions can be so annoying and there is no way of predicting what you will get. My only advice is that often when I told people about being pregnant (provided they knew about Nathaniel - if not then I just avoided seeing them!) I would then follow up with how I was feeling well physically but that it was an anxious time etc. Most people seemed to understand and I have been pretty lucky with the support we have received. I know DH would also tell people that we were anxious, so that helped as well. I would often just preempt or remind people subtly that this pregnancy is very different for us and that seemed to keep the whole 'bubbly, jumping around with excitement' reactions at bay. I also avoided telling people until it was quite late and I was very obviously showing. I would often catch people looking at my belly and I knew they were waiting for me to say something. I really feel for you all as it is a tough time. I hope you all get good support and sensitive reactions from people. For those that don't - then maybe try to remind them that it is difficult for you.

Laney - I am so sorry you have found out about your sisters' pregnancy over myspace! I know that she probably doesn't know how to tell you, but come on she is your sister and a phone call is not that hard! Aagghhhh I also get irritated (and no offence meant if any of you choose to do this) when people announce to the world their pregnancies really early. It used to bewilder me before but now it irritates me as I guess it shows their confidence and innocence...everything I didn't have this time and that irritates me!

Rozzie - I really feel for you having to move into the maternity uniform before you feel ready to announce it. I was lucky in that I represented the company here in Vic so worked on my own. It saved me having the whole big announcement at work - I didn't tell work until I was 16 or so weeks and that was because we were having a change of senior management and I wanted my colleagues to know prior (I had to travel a lot with work and I knew I would have to start pulling back and needed their support). I was also showing a lot by 16-17 weeks so I had to tell eventually. Just take small steps and hopefully people will allow you to tell them rather than come out and ask you. :hug:

Aagh Christmas. Yes it is a difficult time of year. I keep remembering last year as we lost Nathaniel on the 3rd Dec and then had an early Christmas in Brisbane with my family and then Christmas with DHs family. By Boxing Day I was exhausted by all the I'm sorrys etc. I am hoping this Christmas will be a little easier, but I know I will still feel the loss of Nathaniel keenly. My advice is, let your DH know that you will only go to events if you feel capable. I refused to do the visits to friends etc as I knew the usual family events would be exhausting enough. DH and I had an agreement that if I felt too tired or emotional than we would leave an event (this didn't happen but it was nice knowing I had a safety net). If you get it all agreed with your DH, you at least know that you have options.

Okay sorry for not doing personals. Also I want to clear up something - I am wanting to nest but don't seem to have the talent for it! You should see our place now...even worse than yesterday. I have the largest pile of junk to throw out and wonder why we ever kept it all anyway! Take care lovely ladies :grouphug:

Good morning

We got the keys to our new home yesterday. Yay! We were in there after work scrubbing down the walls and cupboards. It was exciting and surreal at the same time. It also makes me miss Hamish super much. Something like a new home should be shared with your family and I so wish our little boy could've been there with us. DH and I hugged and hugged and hoped that Ham somehow squeezed his way in between us too. I miss you so much, bubby!

HA! Confident pregnant women. Boo hiss! My SIL, who has a 18mth old is constantly talking about all the other kids she's going to have, what gender they'll be and when she'll have them, like you can just order one over the internet. Lucky for her, they got pregnant first try and got to take their cute little smiley girl home nine months later, so I suppose there's no reason for her not to be confident. I do object to her giving me pregnancy tips like I'm somehow didn't do it right the other times. Hissss!

It seems that you guys all showed a lot quicklier with your current pregnancies? Is that right? Nothing happened for me with Hamish until well past the 4th month. I was hoping not to show much again next time to avoid all the scary having to explain scenarios you're now experiencing.

I'm dreading Christmas too... I imagined this one to be so different. I definitely think for Jo and Helen that you should stay home if that's what you feel most comfortable with. Goodness knows you've been through enough without having to cater to others' feelings when you're having such a hard time yourselves.

I feel a bit like the symbol for theatre at the moment - you know, the two masks, one laughing and one crying. On the one hand I'm excited about moving house and getting ready to TTC next cycle on the other everything new I look forward to and experience I wish Hamish was here to share them with me. I know he is in his angel ways but selfish mummy wants him here in an earthly way.

I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.

And I'm thankful to have you guys to tell that to.

xoxoxox

Just want to give Lan a hug - of course you miss Hamish and all these new experiences will possibly remind you of all that you haven't been able to share with Hamish. On Sunday night we moved the bassinette into our room and we were rearranging furniture and DH had to take Nathaniels box (which contains his ashes and a few other little momentoes) and he put it in the bassinette and smiled at me - I burst into tears and said that it wasn't fair that Nathaniel didn't get to have any nice things. I suppose it is the nature of grieving, and learning to just go with it and accept that it comes in cycles. So Lan, be kind to yourself. Laugh and cry whenever you feel the need. And big hiss to your SIL giving you pregnancy advice...some people are just so incredible! :hug:

I have 5 piles of mess in our lounge room alone and feel overwhelmed. Must get back to it. Hi to all.

Hello all,

Wow you guys have been busy... sorry I havent been around, was sick with m/s yesterday, but after a good night sleep, feeling heaps better.

Jo - Your MIL :wall:, I can't believe it!!!! Actually I can, as mine is more over crowding. When I lost my angels, she was there the next day and just saying things about my age etc etc. I know she was trying to be nice, but she over crowds me.... I think you both should do what is right for you for Christmas.

Paula - You have the most gorgeous son and it is lovely to see how attuned he is with his sister.

Helen - Telling people!!! well I have only told 2 close friends at work, just in case something happened. Other than that I havent as yet. Same with everyone else, I feel hesitant in telling people as I feel like I am pushing my luck and something will happen. I am glad everything is going well with you, when is your first scan???

Tildy - nesting already. Wow your place is going to be spotless before bubs arrives.

Lan - House keys yeah, it must be so exciting. Big :hug:, Hamish was there and watch over you and DH.

Laney - Great news about the HCG results. Good luck for your scan next Monday, look forward to hearing your great news. So sad you found out about your sister on my space..... I know it is hard for people, but a courtesy phone call would have been nice.

Katie - Not long to go, I bet you are wishing the nesting has started.... he he he. Very funny about your house though.

Rozzie - hope all is well with you.

Well I went and saw the Ob today (my official appointment), though bugger I didnt have another u/s. He said since I only had one last Thursday, it is not required. Though we went through all the normal blood & urine testing results and I have the all clear. I have decided to have the NT Scan - though very lucky to get in. I have it booked for Monday 3 Nov and will be over 13 weeks, but she said just that I get it done before 14 weeks I will be fine.....

Anyway hoping everyone is well.

xxx Sue xxx

Yep the MS has definitely kicked in, I feel nauseous most of the time and cannot stop eating!! Makes it go away for a bit. Which lead me to get the ****s with that Fernwood ad I just seen on tv, (Rozzie this is your fault! ) couldn't help myself I had to send them an email telling them how I thought it was very inappropriate.:angry:. Maybe it is just the hormones and I was probably over reacting, but it is a crap ad.

How is everyone?? Hugs to Lan, Hamish is right there beside you in your new place, and yes we are all selfish and want our babies to be here, we have that right.

Helen, that stupid ad is on all the time and it makes me angrier every time! in addition to the obvious inappropriateness of the whole thing, it's annoying and cheesy, especially when she goes 'epidural over here ploise' in an exagerated Kath and Kim type voice. Grrr!!! It is on right now damnit!!

Sue, I'm glad you're having the NT scan, I have a feeling you'll come back with a great result and hopefully that will reassure you enough to let things take their course.

Lan, congrats on the new house, I'm sure the massive rate cuts are welcome!!! I agree, confident pregnant women are... not sure what! My mum told me my cousin's wife is expecting their first and they're so excited, and I felt like, how naive and unknowing. Then with other women I'm just angry cause they seem to pop them out no worries, and I know they'll never have any problems and life just isn't fair. And I think I am showing more at this stage than last time, which is ironic as now I don't want to show and last time I did.

Katie, I'm not worried about people who know about Edward finding out about this pregnancy, it's more the people who knew I was pregnant but don't know he died, so they'll say 'weren't you just pregnant!?' etc... I went to a meeting today and they said one of the guys (who was on the course I pulled off because of Edward's death) just got back from parental leave, and heaps of people were pregnant and there must be something in the water!!! I just ignored it. I wish everyone knew so they wouldn't say such things in front of me, but then I can't tell them myself and it's not exactly a group email subject!!! good luck with the nesting, don't expect too much of yourself, you're in a fragile way!!!

Laney, glad to hear the levels are all good. I wish I didn't have to work, but I earn more than DH and financially it would be difficult. I'm also the money manager of the two and the tight one, he wants to spend, it's going to be so difficult on one wage. And that is awful that your sister announced her pregnancy to the entire world before she told you. Not a nice way to find out.

Tildy, I'm with you, there seems to be no pregnancy announcement reaction I'm happy with!!! FIL's girfriend was bubbly and it irritated me, my father kept saying 'if things work out this time' and my mother immediately got out pictures of my sister's newborn to show me because I've 'taken the next step' and somehow that means I'd want to see them now (I refused). My friend on the weekend just said congrats and then kind of awkwardly avoided the topic. I'm sure when I don the maternity uniform there will be more doozies to add to the list.

Jo, I think you're a saint for even contemplating spending Xmas with your in-laws. You're much more patient than I.

I decided very early on that for the first time we'd spend Chrissie at home by ourselves. I don't want to go away at a time when if something happened to the baby it would have a chance of survival with intense care, nor do I want to share the grief we will feel with family. It was my family's turn this year but both my brother and sister will be at their in-laws so I've invited my parents down to our place.

I have to say that of all you ladies, I have the least trying family and in-laws, there's not much they've done or said that I can complain about, yet I have so little contact with them (except my parents). I haven't spoken to my sister or brother since it happened, I feel guilty just admitting to it. They both have kids, my sister's baby born a month before our EDD, and on some level I'm angry at them, as irrational and unfair as that is. My friends with babies are in the same boat. They can't help me as much as they'd like to, I don't feel any comfort from their support, I just want to deal with things by myself. My mother is beside herself, wants me to get professional help. People seem to think counselling is some sort of cure-all, which it is NOT. I had some counselling, but after about 3 sessions I felt I'd gotten all I could from it, especially when I found out the SIDS counsellor had never lost a baby (I thought their counsellors would have for some reason). I don't feel further counselling will help, I understand exactly what I'm feeling, and I could talk about it till the cows come home but it won't stop me feeling that way. This pregnancy is my excuse in a way, as in I can just put myself first while I'm pregnant and deal with things later. I feel quite abnormal as nobody else seems to be in the situation.

I can't believe it, I just lost my post to you all.

Will come back later... bugger.

xxx Sue xxx

hi everyone i had my NT scan today, i burst into tears half an hour before i got there.
the last big scan i had was last year when i found out hopes heart stopped beating so i was a bit of a mess. the ultrasound lady was really nice she described everything to me in detail and i got a disk to bring home. :) im happier now atm because i can see nothing is physically wrong now i just have to get through the next few months.

Cindee that is wonderful news about your scan. And don't worry about bursting into tears, I am sure most of us have or will do that at some point. The 12 week scan can be so scary as it is still too early for movement etc. You must be feeling over the moon to get a good result! :clap:

Rozzie - it sounds like you are having a really tough time emotionally with your family. If you honestly don't think that counselling would help, then don't feel pressured. SIDS do have parent supporters which are people who have gone through a similar loss and are matched to you - that might be more appropriate if you needed someone to talk to. I personally have found a subsequent pregnancy support group run through my hospital to have been of benefit. Take care and be kind to yourself. Do you think your siblings understand why you haven't been contacting them and were they supportive after Edwards' death? It is such a tough time and there really is no right or wrong for anyone. :hug:

Hi to all - will need to scroll back to see what I need to respond to. My cleaning is continuing...though I think it is better described as a major overhaul! I have so many piles of junk to throw out. I think once it is out of the unit, the place won't look quite so atrocious. DH is amused at my insistence that I need to clear our every cupboard. I am feeling really good physically, very few aches and pains. We are heading out for dinner tonight with my SIL and her boyfriend. I think this is our last official engagement - we have a clear calendar now and plan to do very little bar last minute organising. Our laptop died this week, so I am now typing on a brand new one. It really was an expense we could have done without, but neither of us could live without a computer at home.

Hope you are all well - any news to report?

Cindee - Great news about your scan, yippee!! Glad you had someone nice to do it.

Katie - I was just looking at your ticker, and it bought back memories of when I went into labour with Corey. I was 37 + 6wks, I was booked in for an ECV the next day, but he just couldn't wait! So very close to where you are now!!!

hi guys!
well, it has been a long few days. Have had a really busy time at at work and i am so tired.
katie - you remind me so much of me when i was pregnant with Josh and Em. I turned our little house upside down and was bent over inside our little cupboards checking everything and cleaning out. I should have been resting but there i was on a mission! Nesting is such a furious thing!!! But awesome!
cindee - so glad your ultrasound went ok!! its such a mini piece of mind and hope it has bought you some comfort!
rozzie - i get what you mean about the counselling. Sometimes you can hit a wall with it and feel as though no matter how many times you speak to them about it it still won't change how you feel. I believe it can help but it does'nt help things for everyone. You can only try as an option. I think it is easy for people to tell us to go to counselling without realising how much more is behind our feelings. While from some people i think it is an extra support offer whereas others in my experience i feel like they are just palming off the support they could give, to someone else to do. As for SIDS - I know bonnie babes have parents as counsellors who have had losses?!?
syran - was hoping you had been able to post so will wait on any news!
hgirs -MS -a good thing remember no matter how bad it makes you feel! Good signs! rest up as much as you can!!! take care!
hammi - i felt very much the same moving to the house we are in now. i should have been making a nursery in this house for Jack but had lost him before we moved in. It still makes me so sad that that room is still so bare as it was the whole reason we moved, to get another bedroom. I am sure Hamish was squeezing his way in between you both!
paula - there is no way i can take time off unfortuneatly!Its just not an option. Unless i quit and unfortuneately for that idea i could'nt stand mopping around thinking i could have been off with a baby instead. Ethan sounds like a sweetheart! They are such beautiful thoughts.
laney -how are you going? hope your ok!!
tildy - any news on your job? i agree on your thoughts on telling people also. Its a catch 22 for us though -its just another thing we have to worry about the reactions for and then deal with our own feelings after! grrr! I had a reg customer who does know about both babies, ask me if i was pregnant yet, today. She has been very sympathetic in the right way until then! i don't think people understand either how hard it is to have that dream of a baby and then actually do the ttc part after!!!
i hope i have'nt missed anyone! we have all been such busy writers lately! which is great!!!
take care! Gotta keep planning joshs party that will be held 3 weeks AFTER his birthday cos he has a useless mum!:redface:
x jo

Hello preggy bellies and my TTC-ing friends

I ate too much for lunch and now my tummy really hurts. Heee.

Paula, I think we'll end up getting pregnant at the same time if I'm lucky. It took us about five months to get pregnant the first time but that ended in a miscarriage, then Hamish was a happy little accident. Mind you, I didn't pay attention to ovulation, CM or temps the first time around so maybe we'll get pregnant quicker this time. Fingers cross. I am very excited to think that we'll be TTC-ing this time next cycle.

My pre-conception counselling is on 7 Nov. I've actually no idea what I'll say or do. Hopefully the Obs will have advice for us else it'll be a very quiet counsel! Did you prepare questions or anything when you had yours, Katie?

Cindee, congrats on your scan. Another milestone surpassed! Good on you and your little bub. I'm not surprised you cried. We all seem to take turns crying, and why not, after all we've been through.

Rozzie, I'm sad that you're doing it tough. But I guess your mind and your heart will deal with your emotions when you're ready. A tragedy like what we've all endured really defines your relationships with people, doesn't it? Some people really come through with their support and understanding and some just floor you in their tactlessness and absolute lack of thought. I'm kind of cringing thinking of what some people may say to you when you start wearing your maternity uniform.

What theme are you going with for Josh's birthday, Jo? You did Dora for Em's didn't you? Try to take it easy on yourself, kids find surprisingly simple things entertaining. Don't wear yourself out... I want you to start TTC-ing with Paula and I... after you have your talk with DH.

Helen, yay for M/S. Have you always had M/S with your pregnancies. I'm hoping to be lucky like Katie and get nothing with my next pregnancy. I was so sick with Hamish. I'm usually a food vacumn but I completely stopped eating for about three months. So debilitating!

Hugs and love to Sue, Laney, Katie and Tildy.

Hi my lovely girls,

I hope everyone is well

Helen - Yeah for m/s, it is a good sign. I found I was feeling nausea's when I was tired, if I get plenty of sleep, I am OK. I heard that sucking on fruit tingles works..... Have you booked in for a scan???

Rozzie - I am thinking of you and your family situation. I wish I could wave a wand and fix it all for you. I agree your body will know when it is right and I had counselling after the 3rd m/c and found it really didnt help me either. I think if you found someone who has had a similar experience it could possibly help. By the way, I hope you are right about your feelings on me with the NT Scan. Getting nervous.

Cindee - Congratulations on a good scan..... I know exactly how you feel, my last angel was found out at the 12 week NT Scan and I must admit I am nervous about going on 3/10.

Katie - I think you sound like you are nesting - thats for sure.... he he he. Your house must be looking spotless....

Jo - I can't believe a customer would say that, especially knowing your situation..... How are you feeling about TTC, have you spoken to DH about it???

Lan - Wow not long until pre-conception appointment. I look forward to hearing what the specialist has to say.

Hello to Laney & Paula - hoping you both are doing well.

Well with me, I am just getting nervous about the NT Scan and hoping bubs is still all OK. I am feeling every stretch and cramp and start to worry. Though DH said last night when laying in bed, that my belly has popped even more.

Had a girl at work ask me today about when I was going back to IVF (still havent revealed), because they are all expecting me to go back in Nov. I lied!!! I can't believe I did that as normally I would cave in and tell. But I need to hold this a little longer until after the scan.

DH and I also bought a bassinette!!! It was a tough to do, and I hope that we havent jinxed ourselves.... It was on Ebay and it was such a good buy. Apparently she only used it for her last bubs for around 5 months and there is nothing wrong with it. DH picked it up and it is perfect and so sturdy to ones I have seen in the shops.

Well love to you all.

xxx Sue xxx

Hi everyone

Sue - My scan is booked for the 24 nov, but I am hoping the OB I am going to see for a 2nd opinion will do a quick one, that's in a fortnight. Fingers crossed.

How is everyone else doing? I had a shocker this arvo, picked up Corey from Daycare, gave him my keys to unlock the door, he pressed the button twice but I didn't really pay attention. Strapped him in, he threw the keys on the floor on the other side, so I shut the door went around the other side to get the keys and...... The bloody car is locked! I couldn't believe it he must have pressed the open then the shut button! DH was 40min away, so had to ring RACQ to come and get the door open, which took about 15 mins, he was in the car for 25min, thank God I was in the shade and it wasn't a hot day. I feel like such an idiot! Have learnt my lesson.

Hi all

Just a quick one - in response to Lan about pre-pregnancy counselling.

Basically I had to get all my notes sent over from my previous Ob which included results from the 12 and 14 week scans when Nathaniel was still alive and then the chromosomal results etc. I went through my history with Mark (Ob) - he asked me about family history for both DH and I, the pregnancy itself etc. One thing I really appreciated was that he asked if we had named our baby and then recorded his name - each visit I get an updated medical sheet in case I need to go to hospital etc and I like the fact that Nathaniels' name appears on it. I also had a lot of questions that I had compiled - just little things like questioning the bleeding I had at 13 weeks, the fact that amniotic fluid was low when I had the D&C etc. Mark then went through how we would proceed with him, and he ordered a 1000 more tests to be done and we were booked to see him again in 2 or so weeks to get the results. He had told me to stop TTCing until the results came back but as it turned out I was pregnant already.

We left that appointment feeling really good, and we knew we had done the right thing. We felt like we were giving ourselves the best possible chance with having another baby. If you have any questions I would suggest you write them all done as they pop into your head - I did this for 2 months which was good as I would definitley have forgotten half of them.

Helen - That is awful locking the keys in the car, and so easy to do! You poor thing. It must have been a long wait for the RACQ to turn up. I bet Corey was happy and not even aware of the stress he was causing to him mum!

Sue - good on you and DH for purchasing the bassinette. I get all funny about things like that as well and think I have jinxed myself. My mother gets so annoyed with me, and then I remind her that I got the whole superstitious streak from her! I hope the coming days aren't too agonising as you move closer to the NT scan. You will be ok. Is your DH able to go with you?

Well my nesting is still a complete mess and I really need to get it done by Monday...just in case. If I went into labour now with this place in this state...I would die! It is very carthatic throwing out things, and I have also found things that I thought had gone missing! I had another Ob appointment yesterday, and all is good. My ob estimated that the baby will be 7-7.5 lbs. The swab (for that Strep thing) came back clear as well. I also went and ordered a TENS machine and it is arriving today. My mum is sending down the outfit I came home in - she was given it by a woman when I was born and it was 21 years old, so it is now 53 years old. It was handmade by women in India and it even has hand stitched buttons on it - it is lovely. I am so glad that Mum has been able to send it down to me, as she and I always talked about me bringing my babies home in it. Sometimes I get scared that I am getting too confident, but in my rational mind I know that all will be ok.

Ok, enough about me. I hope you are all doing well this week. I hope no one has thrown something at their TV when the Fernwood ad comes on! Hi to Laney, Jo, Cindee, Rozzie. Take care ladies :grouphug:

Hi girls,

Katie - not sure if DH can make it to the NT Scan. He is a boilermaker and really just started not that long ago at the company he is working for. So we are being very careful about how much time he is taking off. I really want him to come to the 20 week scan, so we might forego this one.... even though I am nervous about it all.

Questions girls, as I have never gotten this far before, do you get a lower sore back?? I think because I sit at a desk all day, last night I had really sore lower back.... of course again I am nervous about it all.

xxx Sue xxx

Hi Sue - I would think that lower back pain is very common. I have had back pain in my lower and upper back on and off through the whole pregnancy. My ob said that sharp pain, and pain in the upper belly are usually nothing to worry about - it is more cramping across the middle that is a concern. If you find it continues, maybe see a physio or osteopath. It is most likely just your body getting used to the uterus expanding. If you are worried, call your Dr though as they will be able to give you some reassurance.

Thanks Katie,

Its really only been lower back.

I think I am just a worry wort......

Wish I could have scans every week!!!! he he he

xxx Sue xxx

Hi Girls

Sorry for lack of personals but I am a bit short on time today. I just wanted to pop in and WOW everyone has been so busy this week whilst I have been at work. Good scans, ttc excitement and of course Katie and her magical day getting so close!

I just wanted to let you all know very quickly how my appt went with the specialist. He has put me on thyroid meds and I have noticed a difference already after only 3 days. I need to monitor for 10 days and then double my dosage if I don't feel like its enough. Anyway, that was good news but he also wants me to get my progesterone checked. I have to wait until day 21 of my cycle so have had one blood test because forgot to wait till day 21 so have to have another next week.

I don't know if anyone here is being treated for low progesterone or estrogen dominance but I've been googling it and OMG it is exactly me (a lot of similar symptoms to thyroid). From what I can gather it is largely overlooked by doctors because the drug companies can't patent it (naturally occurring so noone can patent) and therefore don't 'educate' doctors about it when pharma reps go round holding there conferences and education sessions.

Anyway, if any of you girls normally suffer from pms you may want to look into it. Progesterone seems to be the most important hormone for pregnancy and I've read a lot of stories of women who have suffered multiple miscarriages and trouble conceiving and then have sorted our their progesterone and have had no problems.

Compounding chemists make up a natural progesterone cream (apparently most effective way for body to absorb) but you need a script. One website I found quite helpful is Jenny Birdsey - NPAN, there's a list of GP's and chemists who support treating women for progesterone management.

Anyway, I've gotta run but I though some of you might find it interesting or at least worth looking into, I don't know how they test it etc if you are already PG but I'm sure you can, for those of us about to ttc you may want to have a look before you start. I certainly want to make sure I get myself sorted before so that I have less to worry about once I am PG.

Anyone who is being treated etc?? Please let us know anything you can.

Take care everyone, even though I don't have a lot of time to post lately I try and read posts when I can and am thinking of you all often. Will hopefully get time to sit down properly over weekend and really catch up on where everyone is at.

Love to all
Paula
xoxo

hi everyone!
i am so glad it is the end of the week although i have so much going on this weekend it won't be much of a break. i started to fake tan this morning on my legs and i can't decide if it is an attractive orange or brown shade. The girls at work swear with a 2nd coat it will be ok but i am scared to do it on any obvious parts of my body incase.....
hammi - I want to start TTC after AF next month. It is a huge step and i feel like for me it is now or never. I don't want to wait another 6 months of waiting and wether we are going to try but am absolutely petrified of anything happening again like Jack and Madison. Especially now it has hit home twice. I feel like the whole TTC thing is the HUGEST weight being carried on my shoulders and i really wish it did'nt feel that way. Right now i feel as though i will only smile in the preg AFTER a baby is born. But i am taking my folate and asprin daily regardless. I would rather it be in my system just in case. i also got my pap smear done the other day and she said (TMI) that there was alot of mucous (normal, i freaked when she said that!) and they may not be able to pick up the results they need. handy...i want the results in my hand before i TTC also. josh wants a yu-gi-oh party but it is at hungry jacks instead of home as dan could'nt face it this year and the party bags and cake will have his theme choice. He is so excited and i have bought a few things off ebay so he will have a few nice surprises! Also with the appointment - i found once i got there for the 2 different OBs with madison that things also came to me once i was there. they would say something that prompted something else and they were so thorough as katie said with their questions i am sure we could'nt have missed anything.
hgirs -i did the same thing with Em except it was a hot day and i was ready to break the window! i was trying to explain to her through the window how to push up the lock and she finally got it after 10 panicked minutes so i could open the door. I too have kept my keys super close ever since!
katie -that outfit sounds so precious and filled with sentimental values! i love that you mum has sent it down -how is she???? What have they said about her treatment?
syran - i know but the long term customers feel they can - half the problem!!
Its funny how my customers are so open about it yet Dhs family (until last weekend) won't talk about it! Lower back pain is common and can affect you more depending on what you do, for me since i stand all day it was an issue esp. I started getting it with Madison quite early this time compared to the others. But as Katie advised if there is anything like sharp pains and anything you are 2nd guessing get it checked out.
sorry girls gotta cut it short -hi to all i have missed! I hope you are looking after yourselves! Kids need to eat!
x jo

Hi Ladies,

jo, I tried the fake tan once. You really do need the second coat!
I am glad to hear that you want to try again soon. It was so difficult for me to wait to get pregnant. I do feel a little relief now that I have that part over with. I have been crying less the past few weeks, I am trying to keep hope in the heparin.

Paula, It sounds like your appt went really well. It is great to hear that you are feeling better already.

Sue, I get awful back pain very early. It is much worse when I sit at the computer for too long. I went out and got a small lower back support pillow for my chair, it helps.

Katie, I can't wait to see the picture of your little bub in her beautiful outfit!

Lan, I hope your pre-conception counseling goes well. Be armed with lots of questions. I really hope your next cycle is the one.

Hi to everyone I missed. My DH and I are going to his parents, they have some work for him to do.

As for me things are good. I gagged for the first time today while brushing my teeth. :D The sickness is not far off. I am counting down until we get to see this tiny bub. Just 2+ days.

Yay, you're going to start TTC with me Jo.:dance: That is a HUGE decision and I'm really glad that you've made it and that you'll be with me next month. Then it'll be Paula, and hopefully we'll all fall quickly and get to to suffer M/S together.

Anything yet Katie? Do you have any feeling about when you'll have your little chickadee? Ooooh, I am so excited for you. I can't wait to see your girl in her special outfit. Have you briefed DH that we need news and and pics promptly?

Paula, I diagnosed myself with low progesterone with the help of Dr Google after Hamish was born because I had two cycles with no rise in temp. I did get a rise on my 3rd cycle and since starting thyroid meds my overall temp has also improved a bit. Although if you had no problems with Ethan... are thyroid and hormone problems something that can just develop or are they in-built?

Laney... after you have your scan, will you be game enough to put up a ticker? I'm addicted to all the tickers in here and it's like therapy watching them go up and up. Particularly Katie's - that one seems like it's on steroids! Remember to give me your drugs when you're done Katie :-)

Love and kisses to Rozzie, Tildy, Helen, Sue, Cindee and anyone else I've missed.

Hi Girls

Lan, I can't believe your ttc time is nearly here. DH and I are definitely waiting until after xmas. With all this thyroid and hormone stuff going on I just want to make sure everything is Aok before we get PG again.

Jo I'm excited that you are feeling nearly ready again. THe whole now or never things rings so true for me as well. I sometimes think the longer you leave it the more doubt and worry you have time to create. Some days I wake up feeling really brave and think I should just do it then (like we can just decide what day we are going to conceive) but then the next day I am sure I will never have the courage to go again and what was I thinking!

Laney, who would have thought we could all get so excited about gagging on a toothbrush! I'm with Lan and can't wait to see your ticker. No pressure though, only when you're ready.

Sue, good on you and DH for buying that bassinet, it sounds so gorgeous and just perfect for your little bambini. Very courageous and such a healthy sign that you are starting to gain some confidence with this pregnancy. I can't wait to hear your news after your scan.

Helen, you must have shaved years off your life when you locked the keys in the car. Glad that all ended ok and we can all now look forward to your scan in Nov. It will be here before we know it.

Hi Roz, Cindee and anyone else I have forgotten. I hope life is treating you all well. Unfortunately for me I am back into the study for a couple of months to get my admissions qualifications. Then that is DEFINITELY it. I could be doing it part time but I don't want to have any pressure once I get PG again so am cramming it all in now.

take care everyone and thinking of you all always.

Paula

Hi guys, just wanted to drop a quick note to say hello and say that I'm fine! I've been busy busy! I think I need a nap and it's only 10:22 am, but it was apparently only 6:45 when I got up and went to the store today... silly Daylight Savings Time ending without me knowing!

*hugs* for now!

Hi all,

Hoping everyone is well.

Just wanted to send a quick note to say hi to everyone and that I am always thinking of you all.

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend.

xxx Sue xxx

Hi Ladies,
I just got back from my appt. Everything went well. The tiny little baby looks good, good HB. I am not as far along as I thought, a couple days behind. The doctor was not too surprised. I had a loss the cycle before I got pregnant which messes everything up and I have been having long cycles already. I was very nervous all last night. It felt like today was the first day of school. I called and set up my high-risk appt. It is next Friday. I am just taking it one day at a time. Keeping my fingers crossed we at least get through this first part before I worry too much about the later parts.

Congrats Laney and good on you for putting a ticker up, we're collecting them in here in this thread! I hope this pregnancy is The One for you. Now forgive me but I'm like Rachel in Friends - I can never see the baby in early ultrasound pics. What's what in your piccie there?

Tildy, I just noticed that Kebab's passed Beiron's gestational age. What was that day like? Did you freak out? Are you still freaking or is Kebab starting to feel like his/her own person now?

Paula you are so good with your continuing education. I did one extra year to get my honours and that was that for me! It is only a few months for admissions though then you'll soon be done and looking forward to pregnancy milestones with Jo and I :-)

Hugs and kisses to you all.

Hi Everyone - sorry that I haven't posted. I thought I was keeping up with the reading but have realised that I missed a couple of posts.

Laney - wonderful news on the scan! I found the 6 week scan the scariest, but also the most beauitful. To see that little jellybean with a flickering heart was just amazing. I can imagine you were very nervous, but so glad that you received good news. I know the coming weeks will be tough, but know we are all here for you. I found I set milestones and would tick them off as I went, it seemed to keep me moving forward. I also had weekly Ob appointments (and he would do a scan) from 12-21 weeks just to get me past the period when Nathaniel passed. I hope your high risk appointment goes well and you feel confident and comfortable with the care providers. Great news on the gagging whilst brushing your teeth!

Paula - you have a busy couple of months ahead with your study. It will be a relief to get that out of the way, and you can then relax a bit to start TTC. I understand what you mean about needing the confidence to TTC again. My sister who lost 2 babies in the 2nd tri, gave me good advice - she told me not to put it off for too long as the fear would build and it would become much harder if not impossible. She told me not to let fear stop us. I understood what she said, but I have to admit once I found out I was pregnant...I freaked! :lol: I can't say what was worse, the overwhelming desire to be pregnant again or the fear when I was pregnant. I was quite a psycho lady for the first 20 plus weeks...still am actually!

Sue - glad to see your ticker moving forward.

Tildy - hope you are well. How does it feel to have moved past the time that Beiron passed? Has it given you any confidence that this baby will be ok? I was very glad to get past 20 weeks, it highlighted that this was a different pregnancy and that this baby deserved my confidence in their strength to survive.

Lan and Jo - so you are both going to start TTC in November. It will be a big month, and I wish you both the very easiest and happiest TTC period. Well done to you both to make the big decision to try again, it is never an easy one.

Hi to everyone else - Cindee, Roz and everyone else....

Okay so news from my world. I finally have our apartment sorted and the piles of junk have been thrown out. We even have spare room in our cupboards! I love it. It is something that we have been meaning to do for 2 years, so why not do it in my last weeks of preg. I have been lucky to and am still fairly mobile. I did go into the city yesterday and did some shopping and oh my how my feet hurt. I had to soak them in cold water when I got home, and then my hips started to play up and made walking hard. Mind you, I am not complaining. I find that so many people ask me if I am sick of being pregnant, uncomfortable etc, and I make a point of saying that I am still doing well and feeling good. I refuse to complain about being this pregnant, especially as this is what I have been wishing for. So now complaints coming from this corner! I have almost finished packing my hospital bag, and hopefully that will all be done by tomorrow. We picked up the pram on Saturday and DH has played with it almost nonstop and is now an expert. I had one painful Braxton Hicks yesterday, but nothing after that. So I have a feeling I still have a bit of a wait ahead of me. Poor DH has to study for an exam which is scheduled the day before I am due. He is finding it hard to concentrate. Also my mum started chemo yesterday, we will know today how she is going to cope with it in terms of side effects. She is in good spirits though which is very important.

Thank you all for the general excitement, and I promise to return the favour to you all as you move forward in all your pregnancies.

Alright will be off, I have written enough already!

Good morning girls,

Well I had a little scare again this morning with bowel movement, a little and I mean a little bit of pink discharge. Of course I have been freaking and googling, but it has stopped, think again that it is just when I push a little, it causes a little bleed. Can't wait until the scan on Monday and then hopefully (I hope!!!) I will relax more.

Laney - :dance::dance: on a good scan, isn't it exciting seeing your little bean on the u/s, I had my first one at just over 8 weeks and it was moving a little and the 2nd scan at just over 10 weeks and the movement the little bubs had was amazing.

Paula - well done in making the decision to do some more study and that you will be getting your admissions qualification. I am also glad you have set a date to start TTC, it is such a big decision.

Lan & Jo - will be thinking of you guys next month with TTC. I hope you both have early success and event free pregnancies.

Katie - glad you have your house all sorted out. It is good that you are still all mobile, but still try and get some rest.... because when bubs comes around, not rest for you!!! he he he. I will be thinking of your mum and hoping all is OK.

Big hello's to Tildy, Roz & Cindee - hoping all is well.

Well Christmas is coming up so fast, we have made some decision on what we will be doing and we are going down to see my mum, sister and brother (and families) for Christmas in Loxton, which is a country town about 3 hours from Adelaide.

I am looking forward to it, as spending time with DH family is a lot more stressful, as there is normally a lot of friction and fighting. Though we are trying to organise a quick catch up on Christmas Eve with DH Family.

My father passed away on Nov 30th last year, so we had a really quiet Christmas last year and mum wasnt really up for it (which is understandable).

So hopefully we can do a lot of celebrating, especially with bubs on the way..... though no ham, prawns, alcohol..... though it is all worth it.....

xxx Sue xxx

Wow, what a time of milestones... Katie is officially full term, Sue is past 12 weeks, Tildy past 17 weeks, lots of new BFPs. I've been feeling lots of kicks which is lovely, but now I know that inevitably I'll worry if bub doesn't kick for a while, as that's how I found out the baby had passed last time. And as much as I love my bump, I now cannot wear my uniform anymore. Catch 22s!!! I was going to start wearing maternity uniform on Monday, but chickened out. Tomorrow is the day now, because on Thursday we have a farewell lunch and we're wearing civvies that day, and I look pregnant in all my normal clothes (which are all maternity clothes now anyway) so I figure it's better to announce it tomorrow than have everyone looking at me strangely on Thursday, wondering if I'm preggers or just getting fat. Anyway, I had my performance debrief with my boss today so I took the opportunity to warn him that if I appear shaky or upset it's because someone has probably asked me something like 'didn't you just have a baby?' or 'is this your first?' (still no idea how to answer that one). He was really supportive, which is nice considering he's a single divorcee with no kids, but has been really understanding so far.

Anyway, I wanted to do all the personals but am now really tired (for a change!). Tomorrow we have our first appointment with the midwives to book in for the birth, then next week is our morphology scan!! Time has just flown by!!!

Love Rozzie

p.s. my second most annoying ad after the Fernwood one is now the one where Maccas advertises 'seasoned avocado' on its burgers. When Macdonalds is describing avocado as 'seasoned' it makes me physically ill to imagine what's in it. Bluurggh.

Hi Girls

Just a quick post as I'm stuffed and still getting used to being back at work. I can't believe I've been going to bed at 8pm and consider it late!!!

Rozzie, you made me laugh about the seasoned avocado. I had just finished saying that exact thing to DH!! Next time I need something to distract me from work I may see if Mr Google can help me find out what the 'seasoning' actually is!!

Laney, double congrats to you... a good scan and a new ticker. How exciting. I know its early days but every little milestone counts here with us.

Sue, bummer about the bleed. Doesn't your body know not to freak you out like that! Thank goodness your scan is next week and you can hopefully get some reassurance. You are doing so well and we are all willing you along your way to that magical full term mark!

Lan and Jo, part of me is jealous I am not ttc next month but I know it is better for me to wait. DH and I have put a deadline of Feb at the latest but will most likely start ttc in Jan. I think AF is due late Dec so will most likely start ttc after that. Not that far away really. I can only imagine how you girls are feeling, I am already freaking out. Part excitement and part sheer terror! I'm glad I'll have you girls just ahead of me to give inspiration.

Hi to everyone else. Take good care of yourselves.

love
Paula

Hi everybody, have been so busy lately it's hard to get on here! I hope everyone is doing OK, we are good, although Corey has had another chest infection, I swear since starting daycare he has got one thing after another! It is so horrible to watch them when they are sick, it just rips my heart apart. I was cleaning today and pulled out Cooper's box to wipe over, well I didn't finish the cleaning for awhile! My God I miss him so much.

Sue - I had some pink mucous 2 days ago too, I hope you haven't had any more. I can't seem to get through a pregnancy without it, I almost expect to see it at some stage but when I do it still takes me back.
rozzie - I don't know how to answer the question of 'How many children do you have?' I still struggle very much with that one. The lady that took my bloods asked me if this was my first, and I immediately said 'No my third' then the questions came 'How old are the other 2?' .....
Katie - Full term!!!! How are you feeling?

I have to go, Hi to everyone else sending those about to TTC baby dust, us who are preggars sticky Vibes, Katie - Labour vibes! And those getting ready hope.

Hi girls,

It has been so quiet in here lately.

Anyway,

Rozzie - how did you go wearing your maternity clothes and about people finding out???? I hope it wasnt too emotional for you and that all your work colleagues behaved themselves....

Paula - I am the same as you, heading to bed really early. But I do the naughty thing of watching TV in bed.....

Helen - It is so scary having the pink bleed, how are you going??? I am so terrified of having to go to the toilets to do number 2's, that I wait (tmi) until it basically bursts out of me.....

Katie - How are you??? How is your mum????

Jo - thinking of you

Lan - Positive vibes for TTC

and big hello's for Cindee & Laney.

Well with me, just waiting until the NT Scan on Monday. Fingers crossed that all is OK and that I walk out of there so happy. Do you actually find out your results on the day???? I had my bloods taken last weekend.

Well hoping everyone is well and is having a good day.

xxx Sue xxx

It has been quiet hasn't it?? My spotting has stopped, I can't wait until I get to see this little bubba. I am jealous of you having a scan on Monday! They should be able to tell you your results if you've already had bloods. Goodluck.

veeeeeeeeeeeery quiet in here!

I had a shocker today. Out of the blue (I was at my desk at work) I got a text message from a close friend that I don't see very often. Saying that she had a dream about me bringing home a baby girl from the hospital and taking her round to visit my friend. She knew I was pregnant but had no idea about losing Charlie. I was totally floored. I had been meaning to call her and tell her but it is such a hard conversation to have that I just kept putting it off. Anyway, I managed to keep it together until I left the office for lunch and I started crying. I just had to call her and tell her so that I could stop stressing about it. When she answered the phone she was so bubbly and asked if I had exciting baby news. I just burst into tears and well you can imagine how the rest of the conversation went. We were both in tears and I looked a treat by the time I had to go back into the office.

Anyway, I have been really emotional and grumpy. I have PMS and am pretty much identical to any PMS cartoon character you've ever seen only worse!!

I went to the Dr to get my hormone tests back (2nd lot because she booked the first lot on the wrong day) and then found out she forgot to ask for estrogen and only got progesterone. Aaaargh! Luckily she could ring the lab and get them to retest the sample they already had which was a relief as otherwise I would have had to wait until same time next cycle and I really want to get all this sorted so that we can start ttcing late Dec, early Jan.

My progesterone is in the low end of the normal range but without estrogen results I can't get a true indication. She seems to have no idea so i am going to ask the specialist in Brisbane who suggested I get my hormones tested to have a look at the results. At least then I have the same person managing my thyroid and my hormones.

Anyway, sorry to be all about me. I hope you are all doing well. I guess no news is good news for all you PG chickees!Just nice uneventful pregnancies and beautiful bouncing babies at the end. I'm with you Helen and having one of those 'god I miss her' days! Hugs to you.

Hi all,

Paula, I feel for you today. There seems to be a never ending stream of people to tell after the loss of a baby, no matter how much time passes. That's why I've not told anyone this time, I'd rather give them unexpected good news at a time of my choosing. I hope you can get some better answers from your other doctor too.

Helen, glad to hear things have settled down.

I started wearing maternity wear on Wednesday. I didn't actually run into many people (even avoided drinking water to limit toilet trips, so silly!), so there's still plenty of people to deal with still yet to come. Only one person asked me about it, and I actually told her about Edward without breaking down and she didn't act awkward just said she's sure everything will work out this time so that was nice. I think everyone else is just too afraid to ask/say anything, which is kind of funny!

Have had lots of nice big kicks the last few days, DH felt from the outside last night which was lovely. Can't wait to do it again tonight. It was a little bit deja vu, last time we used to sit in front of the tv with his hand on my belly feeling for kicks, it's the same this time. It's probably the strongest sense of deja vu I've had so far.

Anyway, looking forward to some more good news on this thread, I think Sue's scan on Monday is the next source! Sue, when you get your results depend on how they do it. Last time I got mine at the next appointment, this time I got it straight after. If the neck measurement is around 2mms or less then that's the main indicator I think, so just watch the measurement. Just don't painc if it's a bit higher, it's a risk indicator, not a diagnosis!!!!

Love Rozzie

Love Rozzie