Trying To Conceive After Stillbirth/Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage August 2008

Helen, I tested again a few days later and got a much darker line but I made sure it was first pee etc. I think I was already a fews days after my period was due.

On another note, I forgot to tell you girls that I planted the vegie garden last weekend. It was so satisfying and now I have all these yummy vegies to take care of. DS and I go out each morning and night to water and have a chat to them. I know its not as exciting as a BFP but perhaps you could all cross your fingers for me that I don't kill them all. Gardening is not my strong suit!!

Whoa, all these tickers in here are out of control. I love it!

Helen, I wouldn't listen to my own advice but it would be really good for your stress levels if you didn't test for about another five days. Your AF is only just due now isn't it? I'm telling you, this is your month, that BFP is is BFP, no matter how light!

Roz, your M/S sounds pretty severe. Baby's doing a lot of growing in there. Go baby go!

I have nothing to eat for dinner. It's Friday night and DH has a sore tummy so we can't eat out. Poor me.

hey guys!
well another week is almost over and unfortuneatly next week is another dreaded one. i have worked so many hours this week over what i normally do now and i think my poor throat has copped the brunt of it as it has been sore for days!
Next week, or thursday specifically, is my appointment to get the results for madison and my tests. I called the midwife (who was called to be with me after madisons scan) to confirm the appoint and she was just wonderful trying to calm my nerves. I don't get to see the monash (female) doctor who was with me after madison also as she is overseas. Even tho that day was my only dealing with her, i started to cry when the midwife told me that i would have a male doctor going through my results with me. She said personally and professionally he had a wonderful bedside manner and was really gentle so it put me a little more at ease. She also said if i felt uncomfortable at any time and wanted to wait to see my female doc then i could arrange another sppointment, it would just take more time to get in. So i will have to try to be extra strong as i can't afford to wait any longer than this 7.5 weeks. It will drive me nuts! So thursday girls, i will be going mental by then....prepare yourselves!
My headspace has become a little out of wack too. We had a cryingnewborn in the shop today and it bought tears to my eyes, not because it was crying and the mum was still shopping(:wall:) but because i would do ANYTHING to hear that cry in my own arms again! It made me realise that in all this hurt i still have for madison that i do really want to try for another baby. I could see one of our girls watching my reaction out of concern so i knew i had to get my act into gear! It was a really busy day, i could'nt afford to have a meltdown!
as for you guys, for me it has been so busy in here. Next week i will endeavour to even in my long hours exhaustion to be on here again daily as i feel i have missed so much!
So to you all i'm gonna be lazy - as i need to re-read your posts to get my head around all thats going on - please take care and i promise some one on one time next week!
Helen - a shout out to you tho - a faint positive is still a positive so hold tight to your dreams and wish hard for that line to get darker! i'll have my fingers crossed for you! i too have practically gone cross eyed trying to squint at a pale line! But most of the time i have tested and tested to check that it gets darker and even after its dark, i still obsessively do more in case it vanishes! And that was me BEFORE i had any losses so you can imagine what i have been like after that!:doh:
take care girls! you were'nt the only one having a horrid tea hammi -i had lousy fish and chips! Nothing in my cupboard either!
take care and have a fab weekend !!
x jo

Hi all. I am in Brisbane and will just write a quick response to Helen and then come back tomorrow with more personals.

I waited about 4 days after AF was due to test - it was early afternoon and very very weak urine and I got a BFN. I was gutted as I kind of though that being so late would mean a positive. I then tested again the next morning with FMU and I got a faint (very faint) positive. I tested again the following morning (with 2 tests - so far all the same brand) and once again got a faint positive. I then went and saw the GP 1 week after AF was due and this was an early afternoon appointment and the test once again only came up with a faint positive. She took a blood sample and told me that if it would help to test over the weekend just to ease my worry. So I did (using Discover Onestep) and I finally got a strong BFP - a whole week after AF. The bloods came back on the Monday and confirmed I was pregnant. I waited until after AF because I didn't want the disappointment of knowing early if it was a BFN and I also didn't want to know about a chem preg. Maybe wait a couple of days and test again using a different brand. Fingers crossed you finally get that strong line!!!

Also, went to the Ob today and happy to report that my blood pressure is normal, babys' heartbeat is good, still head down and growing well. Mark even said that she felt like a good size - though not sure if that translates as 'big'. He also said the chance of going into labour this week in Brisbane is about 1% so hopefully it will stay that way.

Hugs to you all. Jo - glad to hear you survived your week at work and I hope you are taking care of yourself. Let me know if you want those test names mailed or faxed to you before Thurs - I can get my DH to do it for me - there are pages of them.

Wow Katie, 34 weeks today. Does it feel like you're on the downward slope yet? I hope that your mum is as comfortable as she can be and that you'll have an uneventful week in Brisbane. Take care!

Jo, I will be sending you loads of telepathic love and support for Thursday. My Hamish had hypercoling of the umbilical cord. Maybe you can add that to your list of things to ask about Madison. I remember you said that she was small in size - Hamish was about two weeks behind because of his stupid cord. I hope that they will give you an answer and a remedy so that your next pregnancy will deliver a screaming little babe in September 2009.

I need to shut my mouth and stop complaining when there is no reason. After whinging last night about not being able to go out, karma smacked me in the face. DH felt worse and worse. He went to the bathroom and I heard a big bang. I ran in there to find him sprawled on the ground *** warning TMI coming up *** He had passed out and thrown up everywhere. But the way he had fallen, his head was crushed up against the wall and bleeding and his neck was twisted at a really bad angle. He was unconscious but his throat made a scary gurgling sound. I truly thought he was having a fit and would die and leave me like Hamish did. Even though he weighs about 30kg more than me I somehow managed to drag him up so I could clear his airway while bawling my eyes out and screaming for him to wake up. He did come to and today he is much better although very pale, with a massive bruise and cut on his head and a very sore neck. Of course he won't got to a doctor. I'm just thankful he's alive. Sorry karma.

Oh Hammi you poor darling. Karma doesn't work that way - you didn't invite this in so don't think that. :comfort:

You did the right thing but he really does need to see a doctor. You would have had a terrible fright. Try to encourage him to see a doctor - take care of him over the weekend. Sending you lots of love. :hug:

Oh my God Lan!!!! That would have scared the absolute crap out of me! I second that he should really go and see a doctor though!

Katie - Thanks for your bit about the tests it has made me feel a bit more at ease. I wish your mum all the best, I am sure she is already feeling better just by having you by her side. Again don't hesitate to PM me if you need some time out, no pressure though!

Paula - Thanks to you to, I have just spent most of the day in the garden, kept my mind of the whole thing.

Jo - Thanks too, I will be mentally holding your hand on Thursday, I hope they can give you some answers. You are sooo brave.

Sue - Thank you, you guys have made me feel better, and ultimately what will happen will happen. I will think about seeing another DR I used to see at the clinic, but I REALLY want to see my DR!!! (I think it is the whole feeling 'safe' thing)

Anyway have to fly

Hi to everyone else!!!

Checking in from Spain because I need a little bit of you guys to keep sane.

Lan! What is it with men! That's crazy that he won't see a doctor!

Crossing my fingers for stronger, darker BFPs for Helen.

Jo... *hug* Keep your chin up, if that's possible. We're with you.

hi girls!
what a last 24 hours we have all had!
Hammi - i would have had a heartattack! I hope by now you have dragged his butt to the doc for a checkup! men and their pride! grrrr! i hope you also have relaxed a bit after the experience! And thanks for reminding me about hamish! I'll have to write it all down so if i hit a rut i can get out of it!
katie - will pm you my address again! Hope your mum is doing ok and you are taking care of yourself too!

sorry for lack of personals again but i am at mum and dads! i had a horrible day at work - it was quiet due to melb screaming to a halt due to the footy final but a girl who is preg came in with a friend unexpectedly and due to my mind frame the last few days threw me for a loop and i spent 10mins out the back in tears. Not for any reason - all i said was hello but i caught sight of her belly and that was it. (i have spoken about her before - she lost a baby at 10weeks the same day i did with jack and was 3 weeks behind me in this preg) i am happy that they are getting by but for some insane reasoning inside my head she is the one person i cannot bear to see preg and i have'nt gone to 3 parties now because she would be there. So now i have been wracked with feeling horrible as i basically ignored her! i rang my dh who said she would be excited and would'nt mean anything and i said i knew that and i kept crying and he said he did'nt know what to say, which then bugged me more. i hate that he does'nt get it, it makes it so hard! so then all i could think about was all of you cos i knew you would!
take care girls! esp you preggie ones!:dance:
x jo

Ok couldn't help myself tested again this morning and it was a bit stronger:D YAY, am feeling a bit better about it now.

How is everybody??

woo hoo, go the BFP!!

wo-hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! great to hear about the darker line!:dance::dance::dance:

Hi girls,

I'm not quite sure how these threads work however I will do my best. I'm writing this as I need some support. I have recently suffered my 4th miscarriage and I am feeling pretty low. To give you a bit of background, my partner and I started TTC in Feb 2007. 5 mths later I'm pregnant and just as soon as I got the BFP I lost it. This happened again in Dec 07 however that time I made it to 7wks. I got pregnant 2 mths later and at the 9wks scan there was no feotal pole only an empty sac, a "blighted ovum" in old terminology. I got pregnant again in June this year but only got to 6wks. I am currenlty seeing a FS at Repromed, and they have done some testing. Tests came back that I am ANA positive and they suspect that I might have some type of immune disorder causing blood clots. I have an appointment with a immune specialist and the W & C hospital in Oct, I'm also awaiting the results of an edometrial biopsy as well. I have been told to start taking low dose aspirin. I'm so frustrated and scared at the same time. No one except my closest friends know what I'm going through and I'm so sick of people asking me I'm going to start having a family. ARRRGGHHH I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that there is other women out there who understand how much this hurts. I have been reading your posts and have much admiration for how you all have dealt with your experiences, some that I can not even fathom. If anyone can share with me a positive view on my circumstances I would be greatful. Cheers for letting me vent :) lanie

Hi girls and goodmorning,

Hoping everyone had a good weekend?

Jo - I will be thinking of you on Thursday and hoping you get answers in regard to your angel Maddison.

Katiegirl - Glad your Ob appointment went so well. How is your mum???

Lan - You poor thing with your DH - man I would be making him go to the Dr and get checked out. Bloody men, sometimes they should think about us and if something happens to them, and how we cope with it.

Tildy - Hoping you are having a fantastic time in Spain. How is everything going with you?? anymore bleeding??

Helen - Yippee for a darker test and I am so glad you are feeling better about it all.

A big hello to anybody else I have missed and hoping all is well with you all.

Well with me, I am so so tired today, yesterday was a big day. Had MIL 60th birthday function at lunch (left home at 10.45 am) and then we raced to a wedding in the afternoon and got home around 11.30am. So glad I have this week off from work to recover!!!

Havent had anymore bleeding and the diarrhea seem to have settled also. Have my scan on Wed, so I have my fingers crossed that they find a beautiful strong heartbeat. Though I still only count this as stage 2 (stage 1, getting pregnant), as I saw a beautiful strong heartbeat at my last pregnancy. Stage 3 is to get to 12 weeks and have a good scan etc and the stages continue......

xxx Sue xxx

Wow, the weeks always seem so BIG here. This weeks events being Jo's appointment on Thurs and Sue's scan on Wed. Sorry if there are other events I've forgotten but you girls are particularly on my mind this week.

And welcome to Lanie, I am so sorry for all your losses, I can only say that it sounds like you might be getting closer to an answer with all the tests etc going on for you at the moment. You'll find all the women here amazing and super supportive so at least moving forward you know you have people who understand what you're going through and can support you through those first few months of pregnancy when you are not able to tell anyone but want to talk to people who appreciate how scared you are feeling.

As for me I finally had my graduation ceremony on Saturday and am now officially a lawyer. I sat through the ceremony with tears rolling down my face and whilst it was an incredibly happy and proud moment for me I also paid a very high price with my MC and then losing Charlie all whilst I was completing my degree and for some reason I couldn't seem to think about anything else on the day. My family had arranged a big dinner and celebration and yet I kind of felt like just being by myself and reflecting on the past 2 years. I ended up having the dinner and it was really nice but today I am having quiet time at home and have felt like I really needed it.

Lets hope 2009 is a successful baby making year for me.

Hoping you are all well today... loving the tickers!!

Welcome Lanie I wish you never had to join us here, but be assured, you will get HEAPS of support here!
Paula - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! and I am glad you are having some quiet time today. 2009 WILL be a wonderful year for you, fingers crossed it will be for all of us.

Mrs Robbo - Congratulations on becoming a lawyer. It is an amazing achievement and you should be very proud of yourself. I can understand reflecting over the years to finally have this degree and what you have lost. 2009 will be your year.

Welcome Lanie to our group. I am so sorry you have to join us here, but I look forward to getting to know you.

I am also a repromed girl. They are an amazing team, the nurses are amazing, especially Paula, she is my favourite. Are you in Adelaide? I have had every type of test, but unfortunately mine have come back all completely normal, which is frustrating as you want something to be wrong, so you can fix it.

Even with my current pregnancy (4th), Repromed have been amazing (and it was natural, no help from them). They have run tests for me and because I feel so comfortable with them, I am having my first ultrasound with them.

I wish you all the best.

xxx Sue xxx

Hammi - Where are you?? Is everything OK? After your DH's fall I am a bit worried.