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Gigi1
Sweetie - you don't have to be nice all the time if you don't want to be, and sometimes we all just make honest and unintentional mistakes. I understand that sometimes the realisation that we have or were about to make a mistake prompts us to think about things in ways we wouldn't have expected. Don't be too hard on yourself..... this is a hard time for you. But I also know that your own self image might be that you are a kind and considerate woman and any challenges to that, irrespective of the cause, are going to be hard going.
You have me ROTFL with the complete dip in libido at your parents house. It's funny - I agree now, but when DH and I were teenagers it was a different story....
Blessedatlast - ohhhh, fingers crossed for you.
Chez67 - wicked witch or something else going on?
cmegelles - good to see you are so busy TCC in a shag fest that you haven't been posting...... hope its going well.
Dimples - how are you going? You would be past mid cycle now, if AF visited on Christmas Day.... and into the 2WW.......
Aires- how are you travelling? Still feeling glum? Are you taking care of yourself?
Beata70 - I am just about to call my mum.... I told my MIL yesterday by sending a card with a spotlight voucher in it with the words 'Enjoy, only 248 days to go, hope you solve the mystery". She rang last night very excited. She likes to sew and was going to sew some cot sheets, hence the spotlight voucher for some material.
AFM - getting more used to and excited about it, but apprehensive that the it will be taken away, and trying hard not to worry too much. All those symptoms that people normally complaint about, they are welcome to me. I got excited yesterday when I thought I might puke...... I have never been excited about puking before, so there's a first.
Teagz - am thinking of you.....am hoping you have your baby in your arms and all is ok. I might look at the announcements to see if some news has found its way there.
Samcougar - how are you doing? It's been a while.
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Hi ladies
Sorry for not posting for a few days - I have been reading but I am feeling a bit self absorbed at the moment. I guess I am trying hard to be realistic that it is unlikely that I am UTD but AF is now late and while I have no specific symptoms for some reason I just felt that this was our time. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else, but I am also trying to rationalise it is just my mind being very hopeful. I find myself thinking about whether I am pg or not just about every other minute of the day when I am not working or busy with some other job. I know it is unhealthy to continually obsess and I do try to stop myself.... so when DH rang to say he would be home late from work I did another HPT, which was pretty stupid considering I have been running to the toilet all day today. So it was no surprise to see a BFN. I am considering testing again in the morning if AF doesn't arrive overnight. Sometimes I think she is on her way and then the feelings disappear and I'm back to being hopeful again. Oh well enough of a rant from me - I've been feeling pretty crazy these last few days :wall:
Sorry no headspace for personals today. I will pop back in when I have more news and can be of support to everyone. I do think of you all every day.
Cheryloxo
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Chez67
I totally understand. Be as self absorbed and obsessed as you need to be. Hang in there. Did you test this morning? Big hugs. Am thinking of you and wishing I could help you through.
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Hi ladies
Well AF arrived this morning just as I was about to leave for the airport - had to go to Melbourne for the day for work. So I have had cramping and bloating all day :( But at least this cycle was 25 days which is so much better than previously so I am again trying to focus on the positive and think that this is a good sign that my body is getting back on track.
Despite this disappointment, I was very proud of myself today. I attended a meeting at which there was an old work colleague who I keep in touch with on a social level on FB. As we were sitting down for the meeting she was asking about married life, told me she saw the wedding photos, etc etc. And then she asked: "didn't you have a bub?" It was such a totally innocent and appropriate question to ask in this reasonably relaxed setting but it caught me off guard completely. I quickly answered that I couldn't really talk about it at the meeting. She looked awful - like I had slapped her in the face. Afterwards I caught up with her and we spoke briefly - didn't go into too much detail, but I surprised myself about how I was able to deal with the question and how I felt about telling her, and how I didn't end up in a ball of tears as I would have usually. It still brought a lump to my throat and a pause to my heart, but I got through it.
Anyway, I am rambling again, sorry.
Some quick persies before I go and collapse on the couch with a heat pack.
Dory - thanks for you kind words and support. I hope you are doing well and not puking too much!
Gigi - I have my fingers crossed for you this month. I understand what you mean about DTD at your parents - that is one of the reasons we probably won't stay with my mum when we visit her later this year. It just seems strange. But we stay with the in-laws all of the time, and happily DTD. Maybe because our bedroom is at the opposite end of the house from theirs. Anyway, hope you enjoy your break and make the most of O! :hug:
blessedatlast - I have my fingers crossed for you for both being UTD and your cycle being sorted out, by being pg! :hug:
cmeglles - good luck with your OPKs and TTC - it is just another piece of information to hopefully increase your chances, but try not to obsess about the results too much and have some fun too!
Hi to everyone else - Aries, Samcougar, dimples, Beata70 and Teagz. Has anyone seen a BA for Teagz? I must go and check.
Take care and babydust to all
oxo
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Hi :)
Chez - I am so sorry AF came and you are feeling yucky.. But you are similar to me and just trying to look at ANY positive you can find which is hopefully your cycle is getting back on track.. It's awful when you get caught off guard with questions about your bubbas. Glad you handled it well, you should be proud :)
Dory - Bring on the puking I say :)
Gigi - Goold luck with OV coming up.. Just pretend you are a naughty teenager and DTD at you parents house!! You never know, thats how many babies are conceived ;)
AFM I am still not bleeding Woo Hoo!!!!!!!! Though over the last 3 days DP and I have been arguing about stupid stuff :rolleyes: I just hope I haven't missed O if I hadn't caught it already.. Well I am off to mop the floors and make myself scarce as we have a house inspection today..
ETA: I have also made an appointment with a well known natropath who specialises in fertility.. I am not sure if I can say the name on here but she has been on a Current Affair and apparently has a 90% success rate. Couldn't get in til 17th of March, but thats ok gives me time to save up.. :)
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Hello ladies,
Aries, I'm very sorry to hear about your close friend :hug: On a brighter note, I hope the clomid did it's job!
Dimples, :crossfingers: for your test!
Cmeglles, wishing you all the very best in your current/next cycle hun :pray:
Gigi, I'll be thinking of you when you go to your SIL's baby shower, I went to one when I was TTC and it wasn't easy with half a dozed preggy bellies! I can't believe the conversation that took place about what not to name the baby. OMG :o
Dory, woohoo for all your test coming back OK!! Very happy for your hun :D And officially now, CONGRATS on your positive BT test!!!!! And what a clever girl you are with the Spotlight voucher, lol!
Cheryl, I'm sorry for your BFN. On the positive though, your cycles are looking good hun! Keep the faith and keep on going sweetie, I'm always keeping my fingers crossed for you and praying very hard :pray: I've seen a BA from Teagz's friend, Teagz had her little boy Jackson Reily on Monday 18/01. Don't know much else though......
Blessedatlast, excellent that you're not bleeding anymore hun!! And GL with the naturopath sweetie, hope she works her magic on you!
Hello to everyone else I missed!
B xxx
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Hi Ladies
I really wanted to do some personals to you all but just not in the right headspace today.
Im two days overdue but no postive? Can you be pregnant but it still have a negitive test, i think my cycle still must not be regular.
The hospital where i had sienna rang me two days ago to talk about her death,they have admited to me that they were not monitering her heartbeat, it was mine most of the time. They also have said they should of looked more into the fact i had blood in my waters. I just feel so let down. Has anyone had anything like this happen to them or anyone they know? I dont know if im going to take any action agains the hospital i just cant stand the thought that this could happen to someone else.
Any thoughts?
Sorry for being so selfish
I also have another question, im still having stabbing pains down around my uterus on either sides, its been over 2 and half months now since the birth. My G.P took swabs and said all is fine. Do you think this is normal?
You are all such strong beautiful women
x
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Sweety, Dimples,
Only you can decide what to do babe, you will know what feels right for you. Trust yourself and it will be perfect. Siena will love you regardless. It must be a relief in a way to have your feelings confirmed and for the hospital to have taken some ownership. I am so sorry that this happened to you.
As for neg test...totally possible. My cousin didn't test +ve until a week late. Depends when you implanted hun among other things. I have my fingers crossed for you and hope with my heart it is a BFP!
Your uterus is no doubt still adjusting and going back to shape. Try feeling on top of and just above your pubic bone. Press gently and move smooth and slowly in clockwise direction...small circles. I might help relax the pelvic muscles a bit and allow the uterus to go back into place. No doubt there is still tension. It might feel very tender in spots.
Good luck hun.
Everyone, thank you for you support and comments. I will be back later to reply
Love Hmxoxo
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Dimples - that the hospital called and said those things is just amazing. Really it takes courage of them to do that, rather than just hide behind denials. I hope it helps you heal a little.
I agree with Gigi - only you can know what to do, and you will know. You don't have to decide right this minute. Sit with the new information for a while and just let it filter through and really think about how it makes you feel. Consider getting some legal advice. Any legal action is really hard and it will take its toll on you and your precious memories of Sienna become part of a legal proceeding. Being involved in litigation is not like on TV.
If you decide not to commence proceedings, maybe you can meet with the hospital to discuss with them to talk about their policies and procedures and how they didn't meet your needs and maybe generate some discussion about what new procedures might help to avoid others having to experience what you did. I suppose what I am suggesting is that you become an advocate for change, but in a different way from litigation.
Good luck with that decision, it must be so hard.
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hEY GUYS, I hear you re: dtd like teenagers. We used to be the same. I think if the relationships were still in that space with the family it wouldn't be a prob but we are never quite relaxed anymore. Always a little tense and never our true selves in a way. So it is one more thing to worry about. When you get this far down the track you kind of need as little challenge as possible.
I hear you though and god it may me laugh. LOL Thank you all so so much for the moral support...much needed.
CD 14 is down...whoot! So we are on the count down now. I have a good feelings. Some pretty vivid visions/dreams and hope is at it's highest. Our little girl is close but there is definitely another energy close by too. We have spent a lot of time meditating and chanting...welcoming our new little one into our lives.
Looked after my nephew today...so i am knackered...off to bed i go.
Love to you all
Many thanks and sorry for no personals. xoxo HM
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Hello lovely ladies,
I hope everyone is well. I just popped in to say hello and see how you all are. I am still lurking around. I'm just over TTC at the moment, all the waiting, wanting and lastly not getting. It's getting quiet depressing. anyway don't mind me, sorry to be such a stick in the mud.
I'll do some persies later when i'm in a better frame of mind.
Sorry again.
My love to all.
Bec
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Bec- I hear you ...hang in there hun. Take a break and spoil yourself. Thinking of you and sending you a big hug. xoxo
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Samcougar - Good for you! Have a break from the TCC merrygoaround for a while....it will do you the world of good. It tkaes a lot of courage to have a break. I'll be thinking of you and looking forward to hearing from you again when you're feeling liek taking the plunge again.
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Good evening ladies!
Sorry I have been MIA lately - just really tired and emotionally drained. We are moving house atm too & have just started a course for work. A lot going on - leaving not much time to TTC. Which is actually giving me time to think and try to see where my cycles are up to.
So on that note, I am stepping out of the thread for a while....... I wish you all the best with TTC in 2010. I hope to read some pg announcements in the very near future!!!
My love to all xoxo
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Hi ladies
Dimples - I'm sorry I really can't help you with your decision making as we had totally different circumstances. I think Dory's idea is a great one, about becoming an advocate for change. To me that sounds like such a positive thing to do in memory of Sienna, and to try to help future mum and dads as well. I think litigation can be such a draining and negative experience, and I really don't think anyone wins from it all - just the lawyers! Re your pains - you might consider asking your GP for an ultrasound. I had similar problems 5 weeks after the birth of our son, and a swab didn't reveal anything. My ob wan't surprised but a scan showed some tissue still inside my uterus at the top that my body was trying to expel, hence the pains which felt like contractions. I had to have a D&C to get rid of it, as well as 2 lots of anti-biotics to clear up the infection. I really hope that is not what you are going through but if it is worrying you then it might be best to do some more tests. I hope you get it sorted out soon.
Dory - you sound so calm and confident. Well done! I have my fingers crossed for you that your ob appointment goes well :hug:
Gigi1 - you are sounding so confident and optimistic as well. That must be a good sign. I have tried to do meditation, especially when I am have AP done. I find it does help me relax. I have also started doing a fertility massage from a DVD I bought and I do some meditation before that. Here's hoping it pays off for both of us! Have my fingers crossed for your TWW :hug:
Hi Aries and Samcougar - I understand completely where you are at - sometimes having a break is the most important thing we can do for ourselves. I agree that stepping away can often be very hard, so well done for having the courage to do that. We will be here waiting to offer you support when you are ready to come back.
AFM, we are just on our way back from a 4 day mini-break in Melbourne. Went shopping, caught up with a friend, had some amazing meals, enjoyed walking about in the beautiful sunshine. Fantastic! It was definitely what we needed. And so happy about a 3 day working week left - yay!
Anyway, must go. Take care all.
love Cheryl oxo
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Hey Cheryl,
That fertility massage is awesome. I found it great for breaking down scar tissue...lots of that with the endo I've got. I hope it does wonderful things for you this month hun. Ohhhh i have a good feeling this month. I really do.
Glad you enjoyed your much needed break. It is ever so good for the soul. Good luck sweety.
Aries- Good luck babe and we will be here when you get back. It is a brave thing to have a break. Hope you can figure some things out for you and you come back with bells on. xoxo enjoy your rest.
AFM- CD18 and thankfully time is going quite quickly. SANDS meeting tomorrow night which i am looking forward to and then we go the beach again for a couple of days. I really enjoyed (apart from being dumps) swimming for the first time at the beach the other day. It has been years! that i have dipped a toe. So lovely and sandy!
I am doing well, no symptoms but totally cool with that. I have a dear friend in other thread that has given me real inner peace this month. So I have taken a leaf from her book and embraced what will be either way. Everything is perfect the way it will be. Very hopeful and peaceful in HM camp!
Love and baby dust to all.
Dory, how are you going hun ?
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Aries - I am so proud of you. Stepping away for a while is a hard decision to make. I am so proud that you can put you first. Hope the house move isn't too arduous, but setting up anew can be pretty exciting. Good luck with your course.
Gigi - I have a fair bit of peace and zen at the moment. It feels like for days, but perhaps its only been today. Who knows? Like you I have decided to try and be happy in the moment. And you know, this moment for me, is pretty exciting, and really is full of hope. Sure something sad might happen, but I don't think that I should worry about what might happen, good or sad and just be thankful for now. And today, I can be.
I went to a bbq this afternoon with DH and it was so good. I felt normal, maybe not quite as socially active as the group but I didn't feel apart from them. Up until now, in groups I have felt separate and apart from people - usually defined by my sense of grief and bereavement. So it's a sign of the progress of my healing I think to feel normal. Well done me. DH is pretty happy about it all. Including that I wanted to go and stayed for over 4 hours, chatting and laughing.
I don't think I will always be able to find this level of zen, but it will be nice to remember that I could find it.
Sorry Chez and Beata or not saying too much more today. I am really tired after being such a social butterfly today. Thinking of you.
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Hi ladies,
Just popped in quickly to give you all big hugs and to let you know you are all often on my mind. I would love nothing more than to see some more BFPs in here soon, but I do understand how sometimes it's just nice to take a break from TTC.
So GL to everyone, and I'm still lurking around (hope you don't mind!!) lost of :bluedust: to everyone in their 2WW.
Beata xxx
