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Sometimes my green is not working....really annoying me. xoxoxo
Have a great week guys. xoxo:D
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Seems i dont have to think about whether or not i do want a baby. i got a bfp this morning. only 9dpo so not confident yet, but it is hwat it is i guess.
feeling pretty numb atm not happy not sad, just numb....and petrified
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Skybie~ Congrats on the BFP darl, woohoo for you. Like my GP told me with my last BFP a line is a line darl. Seems we are on the same day in our cycles I'm also at 9DPO today. Maybe 10 as Im not 100% sure which day I O'd.
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Hi Skybie
That's great news hun. I'm feeling quietly confident for you FX
ox
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i wasnt sure either. my cycles are usually 32 days but since having Jack theyve been 28, and just by chance we DTD on CD 15, did a few opks around CD 18 to no avail, so guessumed i was about 9dpo today. which im figuring is about right, if it was a 32 days cycle i'd be 4dpo today, and wouldnt have gotten a bfp.
When are u going to test?
Feels weird, i felt pregnant which is why i tested. now im freakiing out that this bub will think its a replacement for Jack when it gets olderr....garggghhh getting ahead of myself here! need to get to 12 weeks before worrying about that stuff huh??
Oh ment to tell u girls, squid FINALLY started walking this week! we're so wrapped, only took 20 months and 9 days!
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Congratulations Skybie. :hug: the ambivalence is totally normal. No baby could ever replace your precious son, you will love him and miss him always. This is a new life, a new pregnancy, a new baby and a new birth. Loving and wanting this baby takes nothing away from Jack. It will take time to sink in. I'm sending you loads of sticky vibes as well as strength and peace to deal with it.
Are you getting counselling hun? If not, have you thought of trying SANDS or SIDS and Kids. SIDS and Kids have monthly meetings for parents with a subsequent pregnancy. I havent been personally, because I'm trying to stay away from sad stories and generally stick my head in the sand, but I am getting counselling.
Dont be surprised if your grief and anxiety go through the roof over the next few weeks. Totally normal - it will ebb and flow. Just go with it, let it out. The fear will seem overwhelming at times, but you can get through it and love and cherish this baby too. When's your EDD? Is it close to Jack's birthday?
Hi to everyone else. Sorry I've been neglectful in here. I hope you're all OK.
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I wAs thinking about going to the SIDS pregnancy meeting I meet with my gp once a month and we have big talks.
Scarily I'm due in the 11th of feb so a few days after jacks birthday but this baby will be coming at 36 weeks so it won't be too close to his birthday
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Congratulations Skybie on your pregnancy - and also on Squid finally walking!
After losing my angel at 18w it felt very strange to fall pregnant again. I felt as if I was walking on eggshells the entire pregnancy with DS2. It didn't feel "real" until at least 28 weeks - which was the gestation at which XH and I had chosen to "resuscitate" if things went haywire.
I did find that counselling and venting with a girlfriend helped a lot.
*hugs* and thinking of you.
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Well Skybie, that is wonderful news hun... in time either one or the other was going to happen and which ever did would have been fine. I am glad it is another bubba. It seems fitting that Jack gets to be a big brother!
Congrats on Squid walking...little tiger will be running circles around you now.
Tashy- good to hear you are going well. Such wonderful and thoughtful advice for Skybie. We are so lucky to have you.
Claires Mummy- wishing you much luck and fortune this cycle.
Better be off girls...I have a few things to get ready for the 1st bday party tomorrow. I have no idea what to dress up as...and it is driving me batty. Got to get these games made though. xoxo
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Just popping in to Congratulate Skye :) Soo thrilled for your rainbow baby hun :hug:
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Congratulations skybie.....I hope you cope with the ups and downs. It's tough having a subsequent pregnancy but hopefully worth all the worry.
Hi to the rest of you. Sorry I haven't been keeping up well, just too stressed anmd worried for myself atm.
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Just popping in to wish you skybie all the best for your pg hun! Congratulations hunni, I am very very happy for you :)
And a big yay for squid walking! Hoorah!!
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Skybie - wow - your BFP news is awesome, but it totally took my breath away. Congratulations sweetie!!!!!.... My wish for you is that you manage the fear. I think what Tashy said is pretty good advice. It's pretty hard to remember that though as your anxiety skyrockets. Unlike Divvy, I am not sure it felt really to me until we'd been home for a little while with HB. But my advice? Do something nice for yourself each day, and do something each day to celebrate your pregnancy. As scared as you are, this baby, can be celebrated and the pregnancy embraced. But if you can't do that, that's ok, you need to do what works for you to get through. Well done on the long wait for walking!
Gi - sweety - I don't have the words. So much going on for you. Enjoy the birthday party tomorrow. How very exciting!
Thinking of you Kateo - I know it's hard. Hope you're ok.
Chez - thinking of you too.
AFM - not much to report. The recent bouts of illness have meant no TTC. Hoping to get back on the bandwagon. Hoping to get back into exercise. Hoping to get back to the accupuncture. Hoping to get on to BB more often. We'll see how all of those hopes go huh?
Interestingly when I saw some heavily pregnant women recently, DH actually noticed they were pregnant and he sort of sighed wistfully.
Anyway, I'd better go. For some inexplicable reason I feel a bit glum.
Belly rubs Skybie!
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Just a quick one for me ladies, today is CD1 another short LP for me of 9 days. Out for the count and no more TTC for us until after my OB/GYN appointment at the end of next month. So I will just cruise along until then. Good luck everyone and i will pop in from time to time.
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Good Luck Clairesmummy, Hope the OB/GYN has you sorted and you are back befor eyou know it. xoxo
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Hello ladies :)
I should know what we are doing on thursday. We saw the fs last Thursday and he ordered more bloods. I still haven't got af back and it's been nearly 10 weeks. It's missing lol. I hope he will just give me the prescriptions for provera and the clomid and send me on my merry way. He never mentioned anything about not being able to ttc now. I figured he would have told us to come back if he didn't think we could now. He did say don't worry I'm going to get you a baby. Which he said last time. Very therapeutic. So I've chosen what ob I'm having next time. Just waiting for the bfp.
Sorry I'm on my phone. I will get more involved when I know what we are doing :) sticky vibes to all <3
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Ahurani, welcome hun. I am not familar with your story...I don't get out much! This is my most comfortable thread these days. Is there a chance you are pregnant now? Have you tested...i know probably a silly question. xoxo
I just went to message a dear friend on FB and my last message to her in FB was just over 2 years ago. You know when your past messages come up as you write a new one...well it just shocked me a bit and tears started and just keep falling. I sounded so happy without a worry in the world. 3 weeks later we found out she was not as well as we thought. Reading this just took me straight back there. Why is it...you can know what situation you are in...be very aware of the gravity of it all, and then still have room to be reminded in a way that breaks your heart all over again. Truth be known, reading my words and being thrown back into those days before we knew, was a little treat of happiness. I felt for a moment, a fleeting moment- that feeling of utter bliss. Only to have it stripped from me a second later. A reminder of what we have lost. God i hate this. Was this a message from DD, a reminder of how happy we were and not to give up. This next baby better hurry up as I am just lost for strength these days and it does not take much to throw me 100 feet! How much i long for this...i have lost myself in this pain, this hell. When does it stop. Oh damn it. I am mad!!!!
I know another child will be just that- another. I have no fear of replacing DD. What I am nervous of is another change in my identity. I don't want to be a grief smothered mother forever, however i am frightened of being too happy. SOme day i feel like DD is slipping from my mind, my fingers and my day. I am happy all the time, i laugh, i play, i get involved in life. I am scared of moving on from her somedays. I am scared of her becoming less significant. I didn't fear this before and i am not sure why i do now. Maybe i am not doing enough for her, to remember her. Anyway...the message in FB that i just read is below...Best i go and spend some time sitting with this to understand what i am feeling. xooxoxoxThanks for listening. This is one of the very few places i can go and not be met with ....oh god, enough already, enough depressing talk! I know this time will pass, it will get better but I have felt low for some time. I trust it will get better. I just miss my daughter and the life she was meant to have. xoxoxoxo Thank you again for this open space and your understanding. xoxo
'I had had an influx of BB facebook friends lately. You all must be chatting.
All is well hun...all three of us are great. 24hrs ago...not so great for me and bubs, we had a vomiting and gastro bug...my god i have never felt so horrid nor thrown up so much. But feeling great today thank goodness. yay.
So so busy and so so happy. I am still working in the city, Florence is being fed right now while i quickly get a couple of emails done.
Hope your little family is well hun!
Chat soon with you again.'
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Gigi sweety - big hugs to you. I know all the feelings you talk about & can imagine the bittersweet pain of reading your old msg :(
I hope your next bub gets a wriggle on also. Let it be soon for all of us waiting x
Hi to everyone else bbl through the week for persies.
