TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the 1st trimester ~ OCT 07

Hi ladies!!!

There are a few new names in here, see what happens when you dont get internet at home!!?? I am lost!!! LOL
Welcome (or welcome back- but you were gone before i got here...)so Welcome from me to Georgi and Naomi!!!!:hello:

Good news- shopping for lap top on mONDAY!!!! YAY!!!! Then i'll be waiting for connections and stuff- so i will still be a bit longer till i have full access, but i am working on it!!!! Untill then i just have to squeeze as much in as possible in a short amount of time!!!

AUNTIE M- i am glad you popped into the other thread- i was going to tell you about it, and for anyone else- there is a thread regarding a "spiritual look at loss" if anyone is interested, there have been some wonderful stories to ponder over....
And i soooooooo glad to hear peanut is alive and well. Its time for some green men!!!!!:happyforyou:
What a heartbreaking first few moments though!!! So happy to hear all is going as it should be!! Keep up the good work!! I will continue to tell you anything that comes to mind for you!! i have been thinking of you alot and i cant wait till we can be preggo together!!

MEL>> Hip HIp HOOORRRAAAYYYY For you and DH!! Just think- your baby is being made as we speak!!!! That is pretty damn cool! Can you freeze any fertilized ones so you dont have to go through extraction again??? Like for future brothers and sisters kind of thing??? i rekon that would be cool too- they would be like twins, but not. Weird!!! Take it easy chooky!! xox

KLEE>>> hey mate!!! I miss you!! I miss being alone in the office all week with you for company!! Bugger work!! Not to worry, plenty of time when i get my laptop. i will have a web cam- that will be cool!!!

Doh, speaking of work i have to go downstairs and releave someone for lunch....

Naomi- KLEE wanted me to share my story with you- its a long one, so if you have time- check out my TTC journal(StarBright), it tells pretty much everything, and yes we have similar stories. You can pm anytime, i just only have limited access so it may be a while before i have time to catch up.. sorry.

I will be back later if i get the chance!!
ooohhh, one more thing... i got 3 little chickens yesterday!!! Mummy is doing good and taking good care of her chicks. I will count all my animals again and give a new total later!!

LOVE TO ALL
StarBright
xoxoxox

Thanks Everyone
StarBright - Thank you for your welcome, I have read your journal and I feel like I am reading my own story! I hope one day I can share more of my journey with you all too. Bit raw at the moment though!!

Mel1977 - I thought it might be you! Congrartulations on your fantastic egg count! No wonder you are sore - I got lots of eggs on my last pick up and I couldnt walk for days either! Be careful you dont hyper-stim and look after yourself. My only suggestion (forward arent I??) is that after you have your transfer tomorrow you go home and rest - try laying down with your legs up and think nice positive "sticky" thoughts! And remember, with all those eggs which WILL fertilise into healthy little embies, you could end up with a whole footy team and never have to give yourself injections again!

Klee - A lot of people tell me how strong i seem but I guarantee that its all a front! I cried the whole way home on Tues night and then all day Wednesday as well. I understand now that you have good news - congratulations!! I'm glad I sat next to you, maybe your fertile vibes will rub off on me?

Just to update you and Mel - I called my sister on the way home and used Mels words of "I will definitely be at the Church for the christening but I'm not sure how I will cope for the rest of the day so I will play it by ear because I dont want to ruin the girls day by being upset". Her response - "I dont understand why you would be upset - you'll know everyone there." I hung up on her and the next day she sent me a text saying "I guess I understand why you might be upset so do whatever you need to do". I just can't win!!

Naomi

Hi again -
Thanks Starbright for the hello & Naomi I'm so sorry to hear of your losses... I've forgotten how to do the icons or I'd give you both a hug hello.
Naomi you are sure in the right place - it's incredible how BB can actually feel like the only place you can vent some of the mountains of sadness we are all trying to push through. Even in the darkest days it's somewhere you don't have to feel alone anymore.
Now all you Melbourne girls - where do you all meet? I'd love to catch up sometime...
Yeah for Klee....he he he...i think you may have started a big Melbourne pregnancy roll !!!BRING IT ON.
Gotta be honest I felt so emotional that you all remembered me - thank you - it's made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
How's Jo - I haven't heard how she's going.?
Mel - this is SUCH exciting progress. Sorry I dropped out for a while - problem was I wasn't really getting better emotionally and i felt a little selfish for always going on when you girls have been forced to live through so much more. I thought it was time for me to shut up basically. I cancelled the appointment with you OB - something I really regret now - because the TTC was messing with my mind. You were also right about Maybe Baby - either I'm not doing it right or I'm ferned up the whole time!
You'll see from the signature that I've had a birthday and the tick, tick, ticking is getting louder and louder in my head - Anth (DH) hasn't had his birthday yet so I feel like an old bag until his birthday comes.
Just wondering whether I should be considering IVF - I read somewhere recently that between 35 -40 I have only 15% chance of getting pregnant with every cycle. Does that sound right? If so I'm getting worried . Anyone heard anything along those lines -
George

Naomi - Your sister is just hopeless - some people will just never get it and as much as we want them to and try to make them, we just do our own heads in :doh: Well I am proud of you for saying what you did, she can do with that what she will but you have done the right thing and been honest. And you stick to your guns, as we were saying the other night it doesnt matter what others think, they go home to their happy lives and you are the one picking up the pieces... and I definitely plan to, I just posted in my IVF thread that I am gonna milk it - DH is running me a bath :D

Auntie M - Congrats on scan, sorry I didnt say that earlier, but its just wonderful. Hopefully it can make your next few days a little easier.

CeCe - Well done for letting your friend have it, couldnt have said it better myself. And hey, if she doesnt call you again because her nose is so far out of joint I guess she wasnt a friend worth having in the first place.

SB - Congrats on your chicks, and your kittens... I would love to have a kitten around, cat allergies kind of prevent it though :( Have fun laptop shopping, how fun!

Klee - How is your day going? I am over my little tanty now if you didnt notice LOL ;)

Well going in for transfer tomorrow at 11am. Then coming home to sit on the couch with my feet up, as Naomi suggested (you know I am gonna tell DH to blame you :p), for oh well about the next 7 or 8 months... hopefully :pray:

Starbright - how do you view a journal? Help...i'm pretty slow with the forum tricks -George

Hey Georgie, sorry posted at same time - I am not sure about percentages, but I know that the more time you are unable to get pregnant it lowers you chances of conceiving naturally. But I think the percentages for IVF heavily depends on the reasons, if any, for infertility. It might be worth getting an opinion from a fertility specialist. Dont worry about cancelling with OB, if you still want to see him you can always make another time - I am sure he wont hold a grudge, he is too nice. And I have said it to you before, but you shouldnt feel like you cant visit us and talk about your own issues because we all have different experiences, everyone has their own journey and each are entitled to just as much support as the others. And in terms of not feeling better... does that day ever come? I have been waiting more than a year now, and some days I think maybe it is but then I come crashing down and realise oh yeah this still sucks big time, and always will.

Take care mate, stay in touch :hug:

Hi everyone...
Mel you are so adorable...now it's you that I'm sending every wonderful vibe to...good, good good luck tomorrow. I wont have you out of my mind!
Go gettem Mel...love George

Georgie
From someone that's been on this road for a while...I'd recommend seeing an FS...there are alot of treatments available which are less intrusive that IVF that could be helpful too...depends on what the problems are....you may not need IVF to get the BFP but if that's what the FS recommend then go for it!!! Time is our greatest enemy...good luck xxx

Jo - thinking of you today on Storm's 9th month birthday :hug: Sending you heaps and heaps of hugs and I hope you got through today ok :hugs:

Happy birthday Storm - Hugs to you Jo & family :hug:

Just a quick one....................

Mel - I will be thinking of you tomorrow :hug: Just take it easy and let those little ones do their thing. I have everything crossed for you for a positive outcome at the end of the 2ww. I hope the next 2 weeks fly by for you and if you need anything at all you know where I am. Big big big :hug: Enjoy siting on the lounge tomorrow! I was so scared to walk around in case anything fell out!!! :rolleyes: Which I know is not possible...............but you know me - crazy woman!!!

Georgie - welcome back! Good luck with whatever road you decide to take and yes you right..........coming here never makes you feel alone :hug:

Naomi - welcome :hugs: I'm sorry that you have to be here but you have come to a great place for wonderful friends and support. I hope your TTC journey is short and sweet! I'm sorry about your sisters comments - it is so hard when our families don't understand.

Cece - good on you for being strong and standing up for your feelings. Some people can be so insensitive can't they. I hope you are wrong and that the wicked witch doesn't visit you.

SB - yay on your chickens!!!

Hi Ellie, Klee Auntie M and anyone I have missed :hug:

howdy everyone.
CeCe- :) i did have a hot fudge sundae . . . gotta make amends to those frazzled nerves. RIGHT ON about telling your "friend" what for. i laughed out loud at your triumph. sometimes being honest like that makes good folk feel bad, but don't you feel bad at all. you've taken so much from her and she needed to be told to POUND SAND to stop her from hurting you. thumbs up, girl.
Klee- yeah, the stress just builds up and there ain't much to be done about it. but the hot fudge and ice cream did take the edge off . . . :) big hugs to you in advance.
Georgie- i hated that phrase "just forget about it and it will happen" as if that is going to happen. and not to mention the extra pressure that puts on one to be less stressed. i felt like popping folks in the eye for that one before Yeti finally came along. just keep doing what you can to make it through. i've heard the 15% chance too, and those numbers are scary. Mel is right, do anything that makes sense in your case.
Naomi- i'm so sorry for your losses and for Ethan. i'm so sorry you have to fit in here, but glad you have found us. welcome.
Jo- happy 9 months to storm & big, big hugs to you.
Starbright- thanks for the little green men. it always feels good to share news here b/c you all know what the fear is like. outside folks just roll their eyes at me like i should buck up. i can't wait for us to be preg together too - i keep you in my thoughts and hopes.
Mel- a sense of humor makes everything better -even not being able to walk right. :)
Howdy to Lynn and Ellie, hopefully i haven't missed anyone? big hugs all round.

Dear Georgie
I agree with Ellie about seeing FS. I will be 36 in March so I understand about the "tick, tick"! I have been seeing FS for 3 years and they keep telling me I am young (in fertility terms) until I turn 37 and then the stats drop quite a bit. In saying that, I know HEAPS of women who have acheived PG through IVF and other treatments right up to 42 years. Dont give up - but I truly believe that time is precious so if you are ready I would encourage you to see a specialist for some advice and testing. You just need a referral from your GP and I have found its better if you find a FS (from friends, recommendations) and then ask your GP to refer you to that person. Most GPs dont have much of a clue about wo to refer you to! In case you are interested I see Raphael Kuhn at Freemasons - he is FS and also does IVF with Melb IVF.

Naomi

Hey all,

Thanks for the wishes for Storm's 9mth b'day,

Mel - good luck today hun :)

Naomi - welcome

Georgia - welcome back!

Hi to everyone, i'll be back later!

Hi everyone,

Mel - thinking of you today! I'm away for the weekend without the laptop so I wont be able to post until Monday. Hope goes well and that you spend the next two weeks like a Queen. I'll have to send you some computer cookies and cake (lucky for you it's imaginary and not my real cooking) and I've got some fabulous trashy novels I could post you to help make the next two weeks fly by.
Naomi - thanks for your support. Mel has given me the name of someone great who I'm going to make another appointment with - How are you going? It's great that the gorgeous girls recommended you come here - although I'm sorry that you've had to - I hope you are also getting lots of support and love. Sorry to hear about your sister - I had many comments and moments along those lines - including one close friend who continues to joke, whenever I hold someone elses baby, that I may try and steal it. AAAAAAGGHHH it's just they don't know what else to say - but God I wish they would just say nothing at all. Trying to explain to others that it's not that we are not capable of being thrilled for others - it's just there's so much pain and sadness when we are wishing it was us too.
Jo - Hi Jo thanks for the welcome back and sorry I didn't post a big hug to you yesterday for Storm's 9m birthday - I was thinking of you and hoping you were doing OK
Auntie M - I think I may publish a book of the 100 most hurtful things people say when they try think they are doing the right thing. I've found only two groups - the one's that pretend it never happened and the ones that say something "out there". How are you feeling... WOW to the 12 weeks for you!!!!
Lynn - thanks for the welcome back. I'd forgotten how addictive BB really is! I love it. Your ticker is flying too. Give that tummy a rub from me!
Ellie - yes you are so right...I think it's time to get that ball rolling. I love the comment on your signature relating to digging deep to try again. I had lunch with a girlfriend recently who stopped TTC a couple of years ago after a very long and painful time. She said she wished she'd never stopped trying despite the hurt, the anxious days and all the highs and lows she said every day was worth it - just in case it did happen.
Hi Cece, Starbright & Klee and anyone else I missed sorry for the lack of personals - I've just looked at the time and I'm supposed to be at work in 12 minutes AND be packed up for a weekend away. Whhhooops -
Georgie

just a quick one, just wanted to send some extra special positive vibes mels way for today, mel thinking of you.
having a bit of a manic morning, so will try and get some personals this arvo, hope everyone is ok today

Mel- super fertile thoughts sent your way!

Jo- happy 9 months to Storm and huge hugs your way.

Naomi- wish you didn't have to be here... but glad you're in such good hands as the lovely women here.

Hi everyone else.

I am having a day and have been not so kind to everyone around... so much so that I have just kinda shut up in hopes that no one can tell that I am teetering on the edge of meltdown. Yup, AF is here and I am a mess. My mom, bless her heart, was trying to be kind and said "oh hun, maybe its your body saying its just not ready yet. It'll happen." for just a split second I wanted to scream. I just smiled and nodded... then snuck off to cry for a bit. Not my day. (i'll stop the pity party now... sorry)

Hugs,
CeCe

Thanks girls, its all done and now we just sit and wait :doh: We had 12 fertilise but 8 were of really good quality, so after transfer today we have 7 frozen. FS said it is a great result, and as Klee keeps saying hopefully we will only need 1... now I need all the :stickyvibesboy: I can get.

CeCe - I am so sorry AF showed :hug: Its hard when people around you say the wrong thing, even if there intention is good you still wanna slap them (sorry CeCe's mum). Look after yourself, you are entitled to feel on the edge and p***ed off.

Klee - Stillbirth Foundation pack arrived today so we are set for Sunday :) How cute is the bear they sent!

Naomi - Meant to ask you, have you decided whether you will continue trying with the IVF (whether it be now or later down the track)? Such a hard decision to make after everything you have been through. I really do hope that the women here can give you the strength you need to make these decisions and actually get through it... honestly, I would be in a straight jacket without having this place to come and vent.

Georgie - Have a good weekend away, catch you next week. Those trashy novels sound great except I still have to work, but fortunately I am going to be working at home so nothing strenuous. But the cakes and cookies sound devine ;) Oh and the OB I gave you the details of is just an OB so he will refer you on to a fertility specialist if you decide to go down that road. He referred me to Lyndon Hale who is great, but I am pretty sure most of the drs through Melb IVF are good.

Auntie M - Definitely need to keep the sense of humour. No matter how bad things get for me, I do try to keep it (not that I succeed every day) cause its the one thing that keeps a smile on my face :)

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all having an ok day.

Cece – I'm so sorry that stupid witch turned up, as mel said you have every right to be annoyed, p**sed off and every other feeling you can. I guess the only way you can look at what your mum said was that she is not herself, you know she would have said something else if she was "old" self, if that makes sense. Big warm hugs to you.

Mel – all the I can muster are coming your way. Remember you've got the best "man" for the job in there, lol. Now its time to be the princess, let dh be your slave lol

Georgi – we meet up mostly at the S&K meetings, I don't know if you'd be interested in giving them a call, we've also done the occasional lunch/dinner, its nice to be able to have that outlet and put a name to the face of those that are supporting us. The men seem to get along well too which is good. I so hope I have started the Melbourne roll (well not just the Melbourne roll), and by the way that’s part of the plan ;), have at look at those gorgeous Sydney women, almost nearing the end, we want to ship a few of us in before they move out, and I know its going to happen soon for quite a few of you in here . Have a wonderful weekend away. If I haven't said it before its so fantastic to have you back

Jo – hon how you feeling today? I hope yesterday went as well as it could and that af is treating you kindly, or more so that she has left the building and aint comin back.

Auntie m – you had me at hot fudge sundae, I'm drooling at the thought, although I am having this strange feeling and that’s that nothing seems to be satisfying me, my head is kind of going no thats not going to work but then its already in my mouth, lol, all I want is carbs, carbs carbs and nothing else.

Lynn –wow look at you flying along, hope little remote hope is treating you kindly.

Ellie – how you going gorgeous? Hope you are doing ok, I so want to ask where you are at, but then maybe hoping that you are not saying for a reason.

Naomi – it was really wonderful to see your emotion on Tuesday night, and I don't mean that in any strange way, I think the ladies here understand what I mean, but I find myself lacking that emotion these days, I don't know if you noticed but I kind of told my story on a monotone, kind of like on autopilot, its just that front that they were talking about at S&K sometimes when you have had it up so long its hard to take it down. I don't know if that makes sense at all, but I hope you know what I mean. I'm so sorry for your sisters ignorance, but after listening to you the other night, I think it was half expected. I know that’s no consolation though, as much as it might hurt it might be time to start screening her call, you don't need that ignorance, you need to look after number 1 and your feelings.

Judy – are you around? how you going?

Kat – hon I miss you too, you are making me do work lol, how is your poas going? I hope you are rearing up for a big weekend, your ticker says its nearly time. Dh is gonna get some action, just be careful will you, don't want you walking funny again, lmao

Shereejoy – how you going, hows little Lachlan going? Has his temperatures come down?

Hi to anyone I have missed, okay from all that talking I am now out of breath, have a wonderful weekend everyone

Klee...if only! I gave in and did a test a few days ago BFN as expected. Have no idea what is going on with my body so I wait....CD 40 something today... If AF arrives before the 22nd I'll do a cycle if not it wasn't to be...dealing the 'fate' hand really takes the pressure off lol! Just a bit quiet at the moment but still following and thinking of you all xxx

ookay ellie, just wanted to check, i pray that digging deep uncovers the shimmer of hope that leads to you finding the gold :).

AuntyM yay on the heartbeat :)
Ellie :hug: for the BFN.. you're not out til af shows though.
Mel lots of sticky vibes heading up your way.
When they do the pick up is it like a lap and you have the hole near the bellybutton and pubic area? If so you have my full and complete undersnnading.. ouch.
I detailed the lap on my chart link. I am still pretty sore so I won't stay sitting, it took me ages to read up and now I need to lie down again.
HUgs all
Jude

Hey Girlies,

Klee - Why did you take out your ticker? I like seeing where your up to (call me lazy ;) ). I hope you didnt take it out thinking it upset us, we couldnt be more happy for you :hug:

Judy - The OPU is done vaginally but OMG its sooooo sore. FS told me today (cause worry wart here asked if it was normal) and he said that the ovaries and extremely swollen because they have just been stripped of their follies and it is not uncommon to get alot of pain. I still cant quite walk properly but he says by the end of the weekend I should be right. I had a lap in either June or July and I was sore after that too so I can definitely sympathise, I think also with the lap its not the incisions but again they are mucking around with the girly innards and thats gotta hurt! Get well soon, it wont last for too long :)

Ellie - I hope so much everything works out for you so that you can go ahead with your cycle before xmas. So I guess this is one of those occasions where we send out bring AF on vibes? Or is there still a small chance of pg? Obviously you know which vibes I would prefer to send but you know...

Hope everyone is having a good night.

Over and out from me, gotta go put some progesterone gel you know where ;)

howdy everyone.
Georgie- WTF?! your friend actually says that when you hold a baby?! i know my sil thinks it and keeps an eye on her son when i am around (as if), but to have a friend say it. makes me so mad, i'd tell her what for if you want me to. so harsh. next time, just say "no he/she just isn't cute enough for that." shesh.
CeCe- sometimes one just has to wallow in it before the pity will go away. and that is OKAY. hugs.
Mel- i'm holding my breath, girl.
Klee- yummmm, carbs. potatoes and bread and cereal, oh my! but there is always room for ice cream!
Judy- ouch, i hope you feel better soon.
howdy to everyone else, and lots of good vibes coming your all way.

hey all, just a quick one from me, on my way to melbourne to take my neices to the airport!

How is everyone?

Hi all, I have decided to sign off from this post, I am finding it hard with my emotions at times and I still feel guilty about feeling this way when I know full well I would hate to have suffered the loss that you all have (even though you have all tried to convince me otherwise - but I just can't get out of this mindset).

I also find myself struggeling for time to keep up with the posts and give everyone the attention they so deserve. Having bought this newsagency at the start of the year, I need to put my energy into it as time is so precious to us these days. I just feel I need to concentrate on what I have got atm, my beautiful family and the Newsagency. I probably feel more miserable then I let on and I just feel like I need to concetrate on what I have and be thankful.

I wish you all so much success and please know I am always thinking of you ladies. You are all so very special, and each and every one of you have touched my heart and so many different ways.

If ever you want to email me, I would be more then happy to hear how you are all going from time to time. My email address is tierinew@bigpond.net.au

Love to all and all the very best of luck.

Sheree & Lachlan
xoxo

Mel - Deb sends her love and asked me to let you know she is thinking of you. I told her about your fabulous EPU results (yes, I do lurk :)) and the fertilisation / implantation. Sending you lots of :stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:

Mel- Thinking of you and your beautiful beginnings! And thanks for your kind words.

Klee and AuntieM -- thank y'all too.

You are all such a sweet wonderful group of women. I have to admit I wish none of us had ever had to meet like this... but I am ever so grateful to have each of you.

So.. I have a gross question y'all may or may not be able to answer. Have any of you noticed after a D&E or late loss that your periods are just evil and heavy? I am hurting like hades and thinking of building a menstrual hut so that no one has to deal with me this week. I am starting to think my cycles will never ever be the same. ( this is the 3rd AF since the 6 weeks of post D7E bleeding)

Hugs,
Cece

Sheree - you do what you need to do hun, but please come back & visit us :)

Mel - hope everything went well on friday!

CeCe - sorry don't have an answer for the AF question, but ROFL at the menstural hut! sometimes i need one of those too! LOL!

Klee - you don't need to take away your ticker! bring it back!

Kat - hope your well!


I'm sending all my love & wishes to Deb & little Colleen today!

Michelle - Deb is just so sweet, everything she has going on she shouldnt be thinking about me. But thank her for her thoughts and tell her she is definitely in mine, especially today.

CeCe - I am not really sure how to answer your question but I do know from my own personal experiences, AF has never been the same since I had Nicholas - so heavy and awful. But, I was always on the pill prior so it is hard to judge whether it would have been that way if I werent on the pill. Dont know if that makes sense, but hope so.

Hi to everyone else, sorry just a quick one today cause I have alot to do before Klee and her sis come over for Stella's Sunday.

Big :hugs: to Deb, Col and family.

Mel

Ok so I am wondering Mel... BT is blastocyst transfer? is that right? (I've been reading a ton about how blastocyst transfers are the way to go as far as transfers.. so right on) Its the day after my 34th birthday so I guess I know what my wish will be when I blow out the forrest fire of candles on my cake. I just know that your Nicholas is going to walk a very special blessing down here... safe for you and your DH.

CeCe

Sorry CeCe, BT is blood test which means I will be having a blood test to find out whether I am pg or not. Maybe your birthday will bring me good luck :)

Mel - Good luck for your 2WW. I have everything crossed for you!We have decided that we will try the old fashioned way til the end of the year and if we have no success we will give a couple of our "icies" a go! I really want to do PGD but we can only do them on fresh embies so have to use up the frozen ones first!

CeCe - My AF was incredibly "evil" and horrid after I had Ethan. I see an acupuncturist and chinese herbalist so she has been working on reducing this and it seems to be working. I thought I had such heavy losses before but now I understand what other women talk about when they say they have HEAVY bleeds - Poor things!!

Klee - Thanks for being so kind about my blubbering at S&K the other night! I think that becasue I dont have anyone to talk to about how I am feeling that I go into total meltdown when I am allowed to talk about it. I struggle to even say his name most of the time and when I hear other people say his name or even someone else with the same name I am really affected. I admit that I thought you and Mel were so calm telling your story and I thought "I cant wait til I can talk about it like that" but now I realise its just another way of coping and that you probably feel exactly the same.

Naomi

mel-- awesome! then I know exactly how to word my wish... yeah I know I am a goof.. BUT in the last years my wishes have come to pass. So why not.

hi guys, was just going to pop in and post but just had a message from my sister that my nephew is in the ambulance going to the childrens as he's pulled a hot cup of tea on himself, haven't heard anything else but am going there now. everyone think good thoughts for him.

Busy Weekend in here girls!!! I have only scanned throught he posts coz i havent got much time to computer today.....

I have so much to say and so little time!!!

I am still poas every day and so far nothing.... though i did go from faint lines to no line to a faint line that was a tiny bit darker than the faint line before no line...... i think i am over the opks already.. they are a bit disapointing for me!! Still i have always said that i think i ovulate later in the month- so i will keep poas for a few more days and see....
i did two night shofts this week- had one silly person each night. "How is the bub Kat? I havent seen it yet????" Thats coz she isnt here mate!! I actually said to one person go and ask someone else- i havent got time to go into it right now./ 10 minutesd later they came back full of sorry's and i didnt knows. I said they were a bit slow and again- i dont want to talk about it right now thank you. Then every time they would come to the bar he would say sorry again. I nearly punched him by the end of the night- but i kept my cool. The only other sad time is that another girl who works here is due any day now and i had to watch everyone gooing over her. And then they all look at me really sadly and then go back to her a goo. Sometimes i feel like joining in the convo of what it is like to be preg- i can talk to her about it, and then when i try to say things in front of other people they look at me funny. Its like hang on- i was still pregnant, i can still talk about what it was like when i was, just because i dont have my baby doesnt mean i dont remember what it was like.
Sorry i am just blabbing now- but you all understand. I had a big cry when i got home- i think that is the end of bar shifts for me for a while- definatley i wont be in there when the other girl has had her baby- i am not going to be the person who everyone asks about it, and i am not going to be happy about telling everyone IYKWIM. I am going to take soem time off around the 18th- maybe a week either side, so it should all be good!!

Now that i have gotten that out of my system i feel better.... but i have no time for anything else... :( i will be back later to do some personals

LOVE to all!!!
STARBRIGHT
xoxoxxo

Sending my thoughts for your nephew Klee, hope he's ok!

well kids are back at school today! the house might stay clean for more than 5 minutes!

starbright-- I am so sorry for the insensitive people... if the world was flat and I had the only bulldozer.. I would SO lend it to you! On the OPKs... I do that faint then nothing then faint then nothing thing until the day I get my allllmost positive then the next day (or middle of the night, as I cannot help myself from poas) I get my very positive. I bet, if you are due to ovulate in 4 days, that in 2 or so days you will see some serious dark lines. Keep peeing sweetie, keep peeing!

Klee-- thinking of and praying for your nephew and your sister.

Hugs everyone else!

CeCe

Dont forget to light a candle at 7pm tonight October 15th for the wave of light. In rememberance of baby & pregnancy loss.
It has a website but I don't think I can post it on here!

thanks ladies, just a quick one again, nephew is ok, has burns to his neck, and chest, he is such an amazingly strong boy for all of 14 months, he was sooo cute, he was all pain killered up and he was doing his little crab dance, wonkily, but that showed me he was ok, he has been sent home and needs to be checked up on in a week.
kat will post to you later, just need to catch up on some work