Glad to hear he not to badly hurt!
Glad to hear he not to badly hurt!
thanks jo, how you going sweetheart?
not to bad, not long till we see the f/s, fingers crossed we won't need to though!
I'm back!!! I had a good read through the posts and i am all geared up for personals!!!! Sit back and relax.........
Naomi... I feel for you regarding your sister!! I cant beleive that some people still have to stop and think that things might upset you. You would think that they would just be able to understand, but no- they have no idea the effect that things like this have on us. They are too wrapped up in their happiness to think of our saddness still lingering. I have my nephews 1st Birthday coming up, it is 3 weeks before Zahra's 1st Anniversary of her death and i know that if i was to go the whole time i would be thinking about what i wont be doing in 3 weeks time.
And do you think my sister has called me to see how i will be feeling???/??? NOpe- in her eyes it has been nearly a year so it shouldnt matter anymore. I am unsure if i even feel like sending him a present via my mum, i am starting to get a tad bitter.
Plus to top it off- she is pregnant again- due the day Zahra was (Dec 24th), so my sister is exactly at the duration i was this time last year- to the FU#KING day. I havent seen her once since she found out she was pregant- i just cant. She says she didnt plan it (is that supposed to make me feel better hey? You just cant stop having babies- even when you dont want them, and i have been trying for 5 years with no luck, but its ok, coz you didnt plan it :angry:)
And to be perfectly honest- i hope her pregancy keeps being exactly like mine. with the very same outcome. (sorry- way harsh its the first time i have actually admitted to thinking that, i nearly back spaced it away- but im not going to because right now it is how i feel. That is sad, but it is the way it is today- sorry)
When you are up to it- i would like to hear more details of your journey so far. i find typing it is sooo much easier then having to tell it face to face- i can type my feelings for hours!! I still cry- but its just me and the computer (as long as i dont get called to the bar!!!) and i feel better after getting it all out. But i do tend to rave on a bit... haha but it works for me!!!
Georgi.... To find the TTC journals- scroll down to the very bottom of your screen, on the left hand side there is a tool bar for forum jumps. Click on the arrow and scroll down till you get to TTC journals- hit on that and then look thru the journals till you find StarBright, and thats me!:) Nice to have some new/old faces in here. I hope that you find some peace in here and we can have some BFPs soon!!!
JO.....How are you going love? I bet the house is quiet today!! Have you had any more progress with DH's little men? I noticed on lullaby conceptions they have a tester thing for swimmers. It tests morphology and something else. Its one you can do at home- it was about $60-$80 thou and i dont know how many tests that was for- but it might be worth checking out for him. If you google lullaby you will find it. you can order them online and send a postal money order or credit card and they send the stuff out in a few days, its where i got my opks and preg tests from. Has any more "come out" that you have noticed? I really hope that you keep trying, i get so sad when Af comes for you, i am really looking forward to you getting preg. i will be taking some time off in a few weeks- when were you heading near grafton? i might go check out the chicken farm- if i do- lets try to meet up. We can bring our angels pictures, i would really like to. PM me if you want and we can try to work something out!!
CeCe... Darlin i am sooooooo sad to hear Af is in full force. I wish she would just leave you alone !!!!! In answer to your question- AF for me has been THE most painfull and heavy and yucky since loosing Zahra then ever before!!! I would usually get lower back pain- but since Zahra it is all in the belly and its full on and constant and soooooo painful. I am bed ridden for 3 days and very high on pain killers!!!! I have stopped using tampons coz they seem to make it worse- so its yucky as well because i have to see it everytime i go to the toilet (i would usually warn TMI- but i think you can cope!!) and feel it all the time IYKWIM.
Thanks for the in sight into OPK testing- i will keep poas until i see some results!! And from what you say- it is all looking good for me!! Having a slightly longer cycle means later ovulation (i was still expecting day 14- im a dummy) which i sort of thought anyway. I have been having some belly twinges too- so here's to hoping!!!
And yes- i think we need a giant bull dozer!!! There are a few people i would knock down hard!!! LOL
Auntie M.... I get funny looks too when i am around babies. Its funny- people who havent lost babies can joke around and say i want to steal this one from you and most parents joke back saying- its all yours!! You can have it!!
But when someone like me says it- you see this fear cross over their eyes, like "S#it, she might really do it!!!" and that makes me sad. Its funny too coz most days if i see a baby- i go out of my way to avoid it. Especially new borns who are sleeping- its way tooo much for me. I can only handle babies who are a little older and have formed some distinguishing features- other wise i get one image in my head that wont go away of a sleeping baby- who isnt just sleeping. I love your come back though- this baby isnt cute enough, i will have to rememebr that one!!! LOL
I am so happy to see your ticker ticking away, i just wish i was there with you!! If all goes to plan- this is my month!!! Take care xoxox
KLEE.... If i see another post with out a ticker your in trouble. Thats all i have to say.:)
MEL..... I hope you are sitting back with your legs in the air (we cant have it fall out now can we!!??) and thinking pregnant thoughts!!! i am due to ovulate in a few days- so IMPLANT baby IMPLANT!!!!!! Crossing everything for you (except my legs... sorry ovulating soon!! LOL) cant wait till i see that giant BFP, followed of course by my own!!
JUDY....I hope you are doing ok. You are always in my thoughts xox
Well i think thats everyone!!! I hope i havent missed anyone- sorry if i have!!!
I had something to share.. i had a similar thing happen to me that klee had just before she found out she was preg, could mean nothing but i will say it anyway... i was at the pub last night ordering some take away dinner and i went to sit out side while i waited. I sat down and then one of people who was sitting at the table came back and we had to shuffle around to fit in another chair- he came over to help me move (the chairs are pretty heavy- solid wood) and he said "NOw Kat we know your with child so you stay there- i'll move it for you" and i said "Actually Stew- im not yet unless you know something i dont!!" and he said "Well i mean, we know your trying and i just reckon you are Kat, so just sit tight" Well- apparently i havent ovulated yet- so he may be pre empting things a little- but i am taking it as a sign!!!!
I better get into some work for now- i wil pop back later!!
Love to all
StarBright
StarLight
Wish upon a star Tonight
xoxoxox
Hey Kat, we won't be going to Grafton till after xmas, so ages yet!
StarBright-- this is for you... ummm I have to admit I am a research nut so be warned.
Frederick Jelovsek MD writes--
Are ovulation prediction tests worth doing?
Pelvic ultrasound looking at the ovaries is considered the gold standard in ovulation prediction in a research setting but obviously in a practical application of a woman trying to conceive, ultrasound is not used. Urinary LH testing has been shown to have a 100% correlation with ultrasound as far as predicting the timing of ovulation (3). In that same study, they looked at cervical mucous changes, basal body temperature (BBT) charts and salivary ferning. Cervical mucous changes only had a correlation of 48%, salivary ferning correlated 37% and BBT has a 30% correlation.
For the home tests that measure LH surge that immediately precedes ovulation, detection of LH occurs at above 30 mIU/ml. This means that women with polycystic ovarian syndrome who have slightly higher resting LH values are still not falsely detected as ovulating. The urinary LH spike occurs about 24-36 hours prior to ovulation so it is very useful for women trying to conceive because it gives them a window of warning. The test will show positive for one or two days and rarely 3 days if you catch a spike right at the beginning and it is a large release of LH.
I found this and thought "no WAY can there be a 100% correlation btw ovulation and pos OPK" so many sites say over and over that you can have a pos OPK and not ovulate... but when I went to my OB/GYN she showed me tons of journal articles that state the same correlation.
Thought that would get you a-peein'
Hugs!
CeCe
kat - i have to say they didn't work for me, well i didn't trust mine last month, so i guess also listen to what your body is saying, i trusted my bodily signs over the opk and had a successful result. another funny one was that the movie that was on around the time we conceived phoebe was on again, i mentioned to df that might be a good omen and it was. sorry about the ticker ladies, sometimes i just don't know
cece - my accupuncturist said to expect a different af every time, no month is ever going to be the same, i never really paid too much attention to what mine was like before so i did think it was different after Phoebe.
just have to do some more work will drop by for more personals later
Thankyou CeCe!!!
I have to say that one thing about not ovulating that was good so far- my poor DH says he is starting to feel like i only want to have sex when i want his sperm!! As a joke the other day i said- Hey i'm not ovulating.. wanna have sex just for fun?? And i made his day!!! Now when i am- i will try that approach too!!! LOL
ok ladies- i need some hugs......
My sister called me about an hour ago regarding my nephews up coming 1st Birthday Party. Now besides the obvious dilema i have with a babies 1st birthday party.... who remembers the fun me and DH had at my sisters Birthday??? Long story short- my DH and her FIL had a little argument because we went and watched the footy (the party was at a pub- we sat there for dinner, but then we escaped from the people with kids and went to watch footy) NOW it was ok for all the guys to watch if they were going for the Broncos- my hubby was going for the Titans. The Titans won. My sisters FIL then made a big deal becuase we missed the birthday cake and Shane replied it was nice of someone to come and tell us it was on.
Now from here- my brother in law stormed out of the party pushing the pram with Hamish in it, everyone dispaeared and we didnt know what was going on. We drove all the way to Ipswich from the pub in Brisbane (after travelling from billinudgel 2.5 hours away from Brisbane) to be told that my brother in law wasnt going to come in the house while we were there. We were welcome to stay- but he wasnt going to come home until we were gone. Yeah ok- we'll hang around.. NOT
We drove home and i havent seen them since. This was in April. Since then my sister has decided that my husband is not welcome in her house ever again, but i am anytime (didnt i miss the cake too?? yes)
So now i get a phone call because she has sent the invites off for Hamishes birthday party last week and she thought she would call me and let me know that she didnt send one to me because there will only be one name on the invitation. I said thats not good enough and i wont be going. She started to say that its ok coz mum is coming up just for the day so i can come up with her and it will only be for a few hours. I started crying while i tried to say its not just because Dh isnt invited, but because i just dont want to be there- so i hung up and have since sent her an email explaining how i feel about her being pregnant(not what i said before) and about having to see her celebrate her babies birthday and how i am over this sh$t between my husband and her husband and if she wants to play games i will just not bother with her and our family anymore. If they dont want to accept him- they dont get me. And honestly they wont miss me anyway- they dont call me to see how i am going- they dont remember my sons important days and they dont give a rats about me. I have then had my other sister texting me trying to get me to back down- she says she hates this going on- yet she is the one who travels PAST my HOUSE to visit my other sister yet never stops by to see me. Yeah- she cares.
Sorry- i am a bit of a mess. Bawling my eyes out because i still feel like a 10 year old whose big sisters are picking on her. Only now they have husbands picking on my husband too. And one thing about me is that i will put up with **** being piled on me- but not on the person i love. I still have my mum. She is all i need.
I am sooo glad this happened now while i am at work and not when i got home. Thanks for listening.
StarBright
xoxox
Oh gosh Kat, why is it that family really do NOT get it. Why on earth can they not accept the fact you lost yuor baby. It hurts, in fact it more than hurts, it s a big hole you cna't fill up with someone elses pg or 1st birthday. How would your darling Sister feel if the boot was on the other foot and it was you doing all this while she hurt. It reminds me a lot of the footballing families having the fall out over missing a birthday but in that cse there was no angel baby to consider.
Sometimes I think all you can do is take a big step backwards, avoid the lot of them and don't answer to any of them. Ignore the sms and emails and just try to get on with life with DH and talk with your mum.
You really do not need al the stress from family just now hun.
I so wish I cuold give em a talkin to for you.. ggrrrrr......
Klee I like seeing your ticker so please leave it in view :)
Cece I think OPKs work differently for everyone. I have no problem with them other than some months obviously the level is not as high as the lines are not as dark yet my temp still goes up so I must have ovulated. So long as you have other signs you can by you should be ok.
Mel can you feel al the positive vibes heading your way lol ?
Jo how goes it out your way?
Hi Lynn, AuntyM.. how are you both?
Naomi you wil find there will stil be many times even after you think you are coping, that you will cry when talking about your baby. It has been over 5 yrs since Annabelle died and sometimes yes I can talk about her without a problem and other times it just hits me and I break out in tears.
Short update as tea is ready.. saw the RE and he wants us to TTC au naturel thi scycle with BD as often as possible and if no bfp then he wants us to do IUI next cycle and if still bfn then he wants an IVF cycle hopefully before Christmas break. I will be 44 in February and the clinic does no tlike doing IVF over the age of 44.. and the clinic will close around Christmas and not re-open til late January as it ir being refurbished totally. I wanted to wait until a ful cycle after the Lap befre considering IUI etc but time is running out too quick.
hugs
Judy
Kat- I am so sorry that your sister is treating you this way. I can relate big time. Family... the ties that bind... and often gag. Your job right now is not to be a cheery auntie or enduring sister... your job is to take care of you and yours. Its hard to write off family... Lord knows I have tried and should... but for some daft reason, I still let myself get hurt by my sister and a few other family members. SO- I'm not going to tell you to do something I fail at. But, I am going to tell you to think of it this way: you are a strong woman who has been through pure hell. Maybe, in some twisted way, your sister resents that you do so well and your love with your DH is true and strong. Lets face it, a LOT of marriages don't survive what your's has. When in doubt, feel smug and superior.
Hugs
CeCe
howdy everyone.
CeCe- i had some gnarly afs after Yeti's birth. you should let your doc know what's going on - just to be sure.
Klee- so glad your nephew is okay. what a trooper.
Starbright- sorry you've had some bad shifts at work and such trouble with your family. as to the work shifts, you are right to avoid it if it hurts you. people don't like to be reminded that we know anything from our pregnancies, because then they'd have to think about our losses. and they SO do not what to go there. and what a blow with your sister and her pregnancy. you can't help how you feel, my dear, and it is so right to let it out. if you keep it in, much worse will happen. everyone else is so right -- take care of you and dh right now and let the chips fall where they may. i know that is difficult to do, but it sounds like you are on the right track. big, big hugs to you
Judy- i'm sending you the best of luck for your "au naturale" efforts this month . . .
plugging along here. i've got my cranky pants on and can't get them off. i guess the stress has to come out somewhere. folks get a shocked look about them, though, when i let my true thoughts out.
AuntieM-- you have cranky pants? I have a certain way I wear my hair up that lets everyone I love know not to feed the bear. I was made aware of this recently. I walked out of the bathroom with my hair in pig tails all curly and frizzy ... James (my 12 yr old) and Larry (DH) looked at eachother with this 'ut oh' look and said "she's got her devil horns on. Find the chocolate." I hope you feel some extra joy and calm soon. I cant even imagine how stressed you must feel. Just want ya to know I am in your corner. Sending lots and lots of hugs and prayers your way.
Thank you girls!! I do know i am doing the right thing by sticking to my guns. I am not going to let them hurt me any more than i already have been. Ce ce i think you are on the money with what you have said. Even my mum has said similar things. She admires me and Dh for what we have been through and she often says that if it went the other way- and it was my sis who lost babies- she and her DH would probably not cope as well. It is still hard too. There has been a seperation between me and my family since before i lost babies (Like my whole life) so this has all just highlighted what was already there. Which in a way makes it easier to right them off coz i sort have felt like i wanted to anyway- and now i have a damn good reason. What annoys me the absolute most is that my dad and my other sister all say that the pregnant sister and her DH are all making a big deal about nothing- yet none of them will stand up and back me up when they are around. Alot of backwards **** going on behind peoples backs, i hate it!!!!!
But enough about that.... i have some good news...
CecE you are right (yet again!!!!) my line got darker today!!! Still not a positive ovulation line- but the darkest i have seen yet!!! I am guessing i am due to ovulate any day now. I have been getting a few crampy feelings (tiny bit like period- but no where near as bad) this is ovulation pains right???!!! Have been bedding every third night or so so far- will have to pick up the pace over the next few days and all will go to the magnificent plan!!!! I have stopped taking my temp ( i would take it- but id forget to write it down and then i forget so i stopped, i might start doing it again as Af might be approaching coz it did do the drop thing last time- so i will look out for that hoping it stays nice and high!!
Auntie M- i love cranky pants!! Once you put em on its really hard to get out of them for me!!! Apparently i get a "look" i give to DH and he just backs up and walks away slowly and makes me a cup of tea. And then tickles me until i start laughing and put a smile on my face. I think for you its hormones Auntie M- that is great!!! Go with it- if you werent in a delicate condition i would advise you to go chop more wood to releave steam- but maybe try a nice long bath and some relaxation. And give it to anyone who asks for it!!! LOL
Time to go downstairs for morning tea with some locals (i love tuesdays!!) i will be back later!!
Love to all
StarBright
xoxox
kat so sorry your sister is disrespecting you and dh, but i guess with how she has been you would have been expecting that, not that thats any consolation. maybe you should also thinking about screening the calls and not replying to texts, maybe then she will come to realise how your feeling, i doubt that though. hon what you doing online with those opk results, get down to dh and get bd'ing lol. remember some women don't get a darker line then the test line, just keep an eye on it and if it starts fading, get jiggy with it, like you need any encouragement. lol
cece - love the devil horns as a sign, at least then they know. can't say i have a look or anything, might have to change that
auntie m - happy 7 month anniversary yeti, hope your shining down on your mum, dad and little peanut, and keeping peanut safe and sound.
get comfy in those cranky pants, at least you can blame the hormones. i so know what you mean, df said to me the other day, gee you've got your cranky pants on, my response was well you had a free ride the last time, this time has the added stress of worry so put up with it. although my comeback to him at the moment is who's belly's bigger mine or yours lol, not a nice one but it shuts him up.
mel - how you going? feeling any different or any signs of anything?
Judy – that’s good you have a plan, do what you feel you should, if that means pressing for the IUI do it. So hope au naterale works for you this month though, have heard of some women becoming more fertile after a lap, hope thats the case
nephew is ok, apparently he's again jumping on everyone, he looks like a little rugby/gridiron player all padded up. Not going to be on for much more of the week, spending time with my sister and her girls, but having my scan next Monday, so earliest i will be on is tuesday, hoping/praying for good results :)
Thanks klee, i will take your advice- i sent her an email yesterday (i started crying when i tried talking to her) she said she will reply when she calms down- havent heard back yet.... i might forward the email to you and you can tell me if i was in any way out of line. i really dont think i was, i dont even think i said anything to make her angry- i was just saying how upset i am at the moment. Getting all too much for little ole me.
Glad to hear i am not the only one who gets cranky when i UTD... You go girls!!!
Hey girls,
Really quick one to say hi - I am working at home and am busting an absolute gut just to make a p@@@y little amount. I think I will start looking for something permanent part time. Its all good and well to work at home but if you cant pay your bills you will be unemployed pretty darn soon.
SB - Your sister sounds like an a-hole! Im sorry but judging from the things you have said in the past and now this, she needs to get over herself really. I wouldnt worry about whether your email is too harsh, guarantee if she were my sister she would probably cop it more. You dont need to put up with all of her drama, you have enough of your own! All you need to do is worry about getting jiggy with it - tell to get.... um, alrighty then moving along ;)
Klee - So glad your nephew is ok, poor little bugger :hug: Good luck with your scan next week, I am sure I will text you before that anyway. You have to let me know how you go, I have everything crossed for you :crossfingers:
Auntie M - Happy 7 month birthday to Yeti :hugs:
Judy - Good luck with TTC au naturale :)
Hi to everyone else, Naomi, CeCe, Jo, all the girls in the pg thread who might be lurking... oh I hope I havent forgotten anyone, sorry I am in a rush - better go earn 1 dollar (dont laugh, I am serious :rolleyes:).
SB - I feel your pain!!!! I have a sister just like you..............they just don't get it! I am so sorry that you have to go through this. My sister is due a week before Cooper's first birthday and they are having a boy - yet she doesn't get why that will be hard on me :wall: I have given up explaining because she will never get it - she is too selfish to care about anyone else - sorry I took over! Unfortunately we can't tell people how to feel or how to be sensitive (wouldn't life be a lot easier if we could). What the girls have told me, and I will tell you, is that you have to look after yourself............otherwise who else will?!?!? You have to protect your emotions and your feelings - this is the time to put yourself first. You have been through so much - why can't people understand that. And TBH the tiff about missing the cake - pleeeeeease!!!! How childish is the FIL anyway! Sending you heaps and heaps of positive vibes and I hope you have the big O very soon and you are one step closer to that magical BFP :pray: Take care babe :hug:
Klee - glad to hear that your nephew is doing ok - poor little thing! Good luck for your scan on Monday. I will be thinking of you :hug:
Mel - go and earn your dollar!!! How are you feeling?
Auntie M - go the cranky pants!!!! I have a pair too.....just blame the hormones ;)
Jo - :hug:
Hi to Cece, Judy, Naomi and anyone else I've missed - hope you are all well
Thankyou Lyn!!!!!!!
i just recieved a reply to an email i sent her yesterday in an attempt to explain to her how i was feeling......
Apparently my issues with other peoples babies needs to be addressed. i should not feel sad about seeing them- i should be as happy as they are and gloat and play like nothing is wrong. Apparently i am not emotionally ready to even try for another baby because i still get a bit sad. The fact that she has a baby means that she "more aware" of what i have been through and she doesnt understand why i still get upset.
Not to mention she is pregnant and is the exact day along i was this time last year- another reason why i am not too keen on seeing her. But i shouldnt resent her for being pregnant and i should be fine with gooing at her belly. And it shouldnt remind me of Zahra for any reason.
She is aware that her sons birthday is very close to Zahra's anniversary, but it will be that way forever- so it is something i should think about.
WTF????????????????????????????????????
like i dont already think about it- and do you think a one year old is even going to notice or remember if i am there?????????????
Do you think maybe i could have a few years to get used to it?????Apparently not.
Well bugger her.. i am not going to give any more energy into her and her selfish idiodic thoughts, and i will never spoil this marvolous thread with her stupid antics. I am OVER IT!!!
Thank you to everyone who has showed me support. i will try to find something else to talk about tomorrow!!!
Going home now so that i can make a baby!!!!!!!!
xoxoxox StarBright xoxoxoxxo
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you are not emotionally ready for another baby because you are sad, you would never have another baby! None of us would!!!! Does she think that the pain goes away and one day we just wake up happy! You don't wish losing a baby on anyone but you have to wonder how others would handle the situation and how they would cope. How would they feel if they were told that they couldn't be sad by seeing other babies. What I find frustrating is that others expect us to understand their feelings but they never stop to understand ours.........maybe it is because they can't - I mean how could you even try to imagine losing a baby.........I guess that is their only defense.
You did make me laugh though - you go home and make that baby!! :lol:
Hmmmmm - just had a forum learning curve - you can't type long personals to everyone and then flick back a page to check you haven't missed anyone...I'm too cranky (it's those pants again Auntie M) today to redo them all.
but the short version is this...thank you starbright for directing me to your journal - I was so sad to hear what you have had to endure. and as for that sister NO WORDS...can someone please shout out to the world once and for all that you "get over" a chest infection or the flu - not the loss of a dreamed about, yearned for, planned for part of your soul that always seems so close but can never be held or seen.
Also I know there is a simple answer to this...but WHERE have the icons gone from my screen? I know it's something simple but I can't find them or for the life of me remember how to active them.
I love sending a hug...it's driving me crazy.
Mel - praying for you that the days flash past like lightening.
Klee - hug to your nephew poor little darling.
My news - back from the weekend in Moama and bad luck to everyone else in the house but it was the big O weekend and try as we did LOL now we just have to wait and see...
I'm sure i'm not the only one who feels like their whole life is waiting...waiting to O...waiting to see...waiting for results...waiting for scans...waiting waiting waiting. Somedays I feel like i'm going crazy and today is one of them. Just starting to feel a bit like everyone else around me has goals and dreams and hopes that they can actively work toward and mine seems to be out of our hands. DH has three businesses...works towards making them successful...and it happens ...DH wants to ski race...works toward it...and it happens. But mine (ours) seems to ignore the effort, planning, hoping, praying...and as of today it feels like it will never happen. DH asked why I was cross earlier and I had to admit to the childish truth that I'm feeling so frustrated and that I just wish my dream would come true too...I know this sounds like a foot stamping episode...but that's probably because it is....sorry had to vent.
Enough from me Mrs cranky pants, cranky jacket, cranky shoes, hat, socks and undies...love George
howdy everyone. thanks for the blessings for Yeti on this day.
CeCe- thanks, i'd like the "devil horn" hair do. that would be good notice for dh. unfortunately, folks at work just get the zingers. . . .
Starbright- lol, you are right chopping wood might release some of the bad energy. i just can't help myself but to shock people who EXPECT rather than HOPE for a good outcome. i'll blow up if i keep it in.
how exciting on the darker opk line. that is what mine did - faded in. so like Klee says - get jiggy with it. :) arrrrgggh about your sister's latest. you are so right to tell her to pound sand. wtf - i couldn't have come up with a more self-centered, unsympathetic, uncompassionate bunch of thoughts if i tried. it is so painful to cut family loose, but sometimes it is the only answer. big hugs.
Klee- yeah, the cranky is hardest for the guys. i told dh yesterday to make a date with some friends so he could get out and stop dealing with me. i figure i can't get a break, but he might come back able to take a bit more. mwah ha ha. good luck on your scan on monday. so stressful.
Mel- i hear ya on the working hard for little and the bills stacking up. so much fun to work for a living. i'd like to give the other way of life a try but so far no one has left me millions.
Lynn- i wish we could explain to your sis (and Starbright's). some folks just don't have the empathy necessary. i'm sorry for it though because i know it hurts even if we try to pretend it doesn't.
Georgie- i like how you put that one "gets over" the flu, not a child's death. what a vivid way to put it. you are so right to feel frustrated with your dreams being so far away. you are trying and there is nothing more frustrating that not making progress. especially -- doubly so -- for fertility. it cuts to our very identity and we can't escape that pain. stew in that crankiness. big hugs for you.
I am so glad i have all of your support in here. I think if i didnt she may have succeeded in making me feel bad for feeling sad. But i know that is wrong of her- not me. So thank you ladies- you have no idea how much your words have helped me to feel ok.:grouphug:
Georgie- you need to click on the "Post Reply button" not just a quick reply- or click on "Go Advanced" and it will bring up all your icons..... and yes, i have learned to that you can not go back to a page a return to your post- it goes bye bye!!! I prefer to minumize the page and even open another one so i can still read and post at the same time!! Good Luck!!! Here are some hugs for you!!!:hug: And i hope that all your trying comes to fruition!!!! I can really understand how you are feeling at the moment. I am sending you lots of sticky vibes!!!:stickyvibesboy:
LYN>> Thank you, and please dont feel like you took over- i am so grateful that i am not the only one who has this trouble IYKWIM. I am sure that your sister is probably convinced you are fine because you are pregnant again. Like you said- some people just have no concept because they cant imagine it. They wouldnt even come close if they tried.
Auntie M.. Just keep letting it out!!! This is going to be a long hard road for you- and like i need to tell myself- PUT YOU FIRST!!!
I like your idea of thinking abuot DH and giving him a break from you coz you know that your feelings arnt going to go away!!! I hope he takes you up on it and returns fresh and ready to pamper you and do what ever you say!!! LOL Where would we be without our DDDH's?
Well poas again last night and it had faded again.... so i am thinking that maybe i have o'd- (i will kepp poas to check!!!) which means that now is the time to be ripe and ready!!! Have stepped up a bit and evrything is going to plan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am at work again today- i learned how to baance the tills and stuff (old Freddy is away... he is in charge of that stuff so i can only do it when he's not here!!!!) very exciting. I think i will have a short day today though and go home for some love and affection from my aminals. Oh yeah, latest count....
2 Dogs
8cats(mummy and daddy and 6 kittens)
3 roosters
5 layers
3 chickens
2 ducks
1 fish... i think thats it.... yep 24 in total. cool
The kittens have started to open their eyes and they are sooooooo cute!!!! They will be going to the pet shop as soon as possible before i get too attatched and want to keep one or two or three....lol
Well i better do some work, i may be back later!!
Thank you again everyone- you have no idea how much i needed it!! Actually, i take that back- you all do know and thats why you care!!! Thank you again!!!!
LOve always
StarBright
xoxoxxo
Kat I just sent you a text before you posted, don't know if you have phone with you. I feel so much for you ladies who don't have supportive sisters, I really don't know where I'd be without mine. Your sister needs to grow some compassion, yeah I'm sure you are happy your nephew is around but it must hurt to see him have a birthday each year knowing that your angels will never get to open the presents, or eat that cake. She obviously doesn't understand yes you may go on but that doesn't mean you've stopped hurting, that’s going to be with us for the rest of our lives. Ok so now I'm rambling but I think you know what I mean, ditch that b*atch lol, sorry don't know where that came from.
Georgi, hugs to you hon. That dream will be yours, it will come to fruition. I truly believe you will get there. Were you monitored closely this last pg? were they able to tell you what happened? Did you make that appointment with the person mel recommended? Sorry for all the questions, just trying to get my bearings on where you are up to.
Man I loathe some people, sometimes they think they're funny and they're not in the slightest, not having a good day, georgi, I am kitted out like you today, all in matching cranky attire.
Thanks star bright - :clap: i'm back in the land of icons...i'm sure they just used to be there at the side :bluedust: to everyone .
George
I GOT MY LAPTOP!!!!!!!!:happyforyou:
I AM SO HAPPY FOR ME!!!!!
Still need to set it all up..... but YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
Just when you think the world is out to get you someone comes along and buys me a lap top!!! Well i have to pay it back- but its on a salary sacrifice thingy... so I DONT CARE!!! I have a new lap top i have a new lap top!!!!! I have the best boss in the entire world!!!!
ok i will shut up now!! LOL
i knew i was going to find something else to talk about today!!!!
klee... thank you- i did get your message, i am doing well with screening, i havent even checked my email to see if there is a reply and i wont be answering any calls from anyone but my mummy. :)
Thanks again everyone!!! i am so happy!!!! i am dancing!!!!
georgi- glad i could lift you back to the world of icons!!!!!:hug:
:happyforyou:couldnt help it.... LOL if i am this happy about getting a lap top- watch out when i announce my BFP!!!!
xoxxo StarBright xoxoxo
ooh Kat, too funny.. look out world when she gets that BFP :D
Pos OPK today on cd11 and still bleeding from the lap.. oh joy!!
hugs and babydust to all
Judy
Judy... blleding or not... go get ya some! right NOW! I dont even know what time it is there... but I dont care either! Go get ya SOME!
Hugs,
CeCe
judy and kat what are you two doing in here?, get to it. going to be a quiet thread for a few days oh but some noisy households, lol
have a fantastic few days ladies, hope to come back to some good news.
having an emotional afternoon, thank goodness for a few days off.
ciao for now everyone
howdy everyone!
SB- so glad you can see and feel that you are right and need to do what is best for you - rather than what your sister thinks is best for her. you and your dh first is the best idea.
Klee- most folks aren't half as funny as they should be.
Judy- hope you are busy! ;)
dh and i set up a bench carved by a local artist last night. it is for Yeti with little bears and wild roses climbing on it, with his name in the middle of carved tree branches with bear cubs. it is so lovely, but i just cried and cried b/c i would so rather not have a bench . . .
Hi all, just popping in to say hello!
Auntie - your bench sounds beautiful!
AuntyM the bench sounds to be just perfect to remember Yeti :hug:
Klee enjoy your break away :) Come back all relaxed now won't you.
hugs all
Judy
Auntie M - Your bench is such a beautiful idea...I'm just so sorry you need one..if you know what I mean.
Klee - Relax and enjoy for all of us!
Hi to everyone...just cruising along here...had a fasting insulin blood test yesterday to see if I need to be on metformin for next ICSI cycle and ended up in bed with a migraine at lunchtime...a day later and I'm still hungry lol! AF finally arrived too so that probably didn't help much either...otherwise...doing ok...but I have to stop reading the preg threads that I was in...I don't post but pop in to see how everyone's going and seeing their tickers is getting too hard...why do we do these things to ourselves???
hi all...
Auntie M - love the bench! What a wonderful person to put their heart into making something like that! Not so long ago I bought a mother cradling a baby statue...I was so sad I plonked it in the garden near our front door...in some ways it feels a bit....uummm...I dunno a bit overt...I'm thinking now that something more subtle/personal/not sure of the right word would have been better or maybe I needed something inside...a bit closer.... I just love the bench idea!
Klee - I had another failed attempt at personals from the office computer...wow...do I feel silly finding my feet in the forum these days. That wacky prego brain has stayed long after the angels!!!
To answer your question from a few days ago - we didn't get any answers after our last sad loss. The complication/guilt/sadness is related to our decision for DH to have a vasectomy after our daughter was born. We had an early pg loss after she was born. I had already had two mc before and I had lots of bleeding/clotting and scares during both pg with earth angels - I was told on several occasions it was "just a matter of time" until I lost them both. At an emotional time we decided that we were incredibly lucky to have the two we did and I didn't feel strong enough to cope with any more mc and the emotions attached to TTC. Within months as the hormones levelled out I realised what a terrible mistake we'd made. And the short version is DH had a reversal four years ago - and I've been watching the toilet paper ever since...I decided to try and not be scared of whatever lay in front and that we had to live our life with hope not fear. Then we lost one at 12w and our little boy at 18w. I'm still so pleased we made the choice to keep trying...as we all know...the days are long, the waits are anxious, but as Mel once said - What's the alternative? Not trying....as all of us know - it would be easier to fly to the moon.
In my dark days I feel like it's punishment for decisions made...on my good days I think I'm being presented with opportunities to grow, to become courageous and it's just part of what will become one hell of a "what we went through to hold you precious one" story for the future.
We'll see ...
Hi all - sorry for the lack of personals...big hugs to all
love George
Ellie - That means you are on track to have the cycle before Christmas right? :crossfingers: I have to admit I dont read many threads re pregnancy or babies, so I really cant blame you there. You have to protect yourself :hug:
Georgie - Sometimes I say such wise things ;) I love that, I hope I can have one of those "what we went through to hold you precious one" stories one day too... such a positive way of looking at it, and I really hope it happens for you :hugs:
SB - Congrats on laptap! Does that mean you will be on over the weekend? Now you can download messenger :D
Klee - Enjoy your long weekend and :crossfingers: for Monday, Joey will be fine but I still send you the best of luck all the same.
Auntie M - Yeti's bench sounds beautiful, what a great idea!
Hi to everyone else.
Sorry just a quickie, DH and I are gonna spend some "quality" time together :p
howdy everyone.
Georgie- i like the sound of your statue, but can relate to being "overt". i guess not for others - i like to make others think of Yeti as much as possible. i put Yeti's bench where i like to go and rest and think, so i can seek it out when i want to. your story makes me want to reach through my computer and hug you, dear. what a journey you are on. that guilt/courage cycle is a damnable trip, so familiar. you aren't being punished, it just isn't possible. you and the other ladies here are so good hearted it just isn't possible. it's just that **** happens and life isn't fair. :hug:
Ellie- i'm so sorry for your trials and wish so hard that i could say something meaningful. i can give you a cyber-hug, though. :hug:
Mel- hope that "quality" time is fun too ;)
_______________________________
Auntie m
Sweet Baby Yeti stillborn March 16, 2007 @ 39 Weeks
hello lovely women!
Just wanted to pop in and spread some love and good thoughts your way. Its a few days until O for me so we have been a bit busy. I think I have come to terms with not being pragnant by my due date. I know that must sound so trite to most of you. I'm sorry.
Yeti's bench sounds just lovely and very tasteful. I keep thinking about getting something to have some physical tie to Eli. Just cant yet.
Mel- just a couple days until I blow out my candles and make a big wish for you. I am praying for a very fruitful outcome this next week for you. (pun intended-- again, sorry)
The rest of you-- I am ever so grateful to know that I am not alone in this wonky sometimes terrible journey. I am thankful for each of you... and your tickers.
Hugs,
Cece
morning all,
how is everyone?
not much going on here, so hot on the weekend, took the kids to an athletics carnival yesterday. It hit 38 degrees! YUK!
I'll be back later on to do some personals :)
morning to you all too...
Hi Jo - that's a hot day for an athletics carnival...it was even hot in Melbourne (that's saying something!)
Cece - It's not trite at all to want to be pregnant by your due date - I understand exactly how you feel - I had two due dates this year (17 June and 26 September) that clicked over without our little angels. So when AF arrived earlier this month I wanted to scream the house down. For me it was about just needing to have a little bit of hope return. If it's not too personal when is your due date? I hope you have lots of lovin surrounding you.
Mel - thinking of you every day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Klee - Hope you're travelling along beautifully and that you had a lovely break. I'm really looking forward to hearing how you are going - don't leave out any detail - nothing better than some happy news!!! Good news is catching...
Auntie M - I made a big decision about the little statue - I've moved it so that it's nestled among the trees - I'm happier with that now - it's a bit more private. How are you feeling ?? I just hope you're having the dream run.
Ellie - special hugs to you - you're doing a brilliant job and your courage and strength spurs me on!
Angelicdragon - hope you have had the Do Not Disturb sign on your door this weekend!!
No news from me - I've gone a bit nutty and stocked up on the pg tests - although I'm only day 21 - I did a test (negative of course) even though it would be too early to show I just can't stop myself from doing them...every month I really really really expect to see a positive...and the annoyance at a negative gets me every time.
Strangely, it's making me more determined, not less
George
Hi Girls,
Just checking in on everyone - sorry been so scarce lately, alot on my mind.
Jo - Your brave taking kids out on a 38 degree day, although really us adults probably whinge more than the kids do :rolleyes:
CeCe - 3 sleeps isnt it? I am so hoping you are my :goodluck: charm!
Georgie - :crossfingers: for you this month. I really hope you get that extra line you have been waiting so long for. I know what its like being a HPT junkie - aaaah the cross we bear ;)
Klee - How is ya cold ya poor bugger? Back to work tomorrow, well if your feeling ok that is.
SB - How ya going there? You havent been around for a few days, hope all is ok? Any feelings on whether you caught the egg this month? Been thinking about you, if you need anything... well you know :hug:
Hi to everyone else :)