TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after 1st Trimester July 07 #1

Hi Girls,

Kristy - What a beautiful little girl you have, she is just gorgeous :hug: I am sorry she didnt stay with you, but she will always be there in your heart and in spirit :hugs: She is so lovely I am in tears!

Jo - Bummer about having to postpone the test, I hate that stuff you have to drink so at least it spared you that though! Storm's page is just beautiful, I got teary over yours as well. I just dont understand why any of this crap has to happen, it is so unfair and I am sorry for every one of us :hug:

Deb - Hope you and Col are doing well. Thanks for you help! I am still pondering what to do.

Nat - Yeah sort of have a plan, waiting for AF to arrive then have to start the pill for a month. We have our IVF initial consult on 31st July so from there we will have more of an idea of where we go from here. They sent me an info pack which said the whole process takes about 6-7 weeks - which means 6 weeks time is going to be alot to handle emotionally. It will be Nicholas' 1st birthday and also IVF at that time! But we will do what we have to do. How are you handling the quiet with DS back at school? Relishing it? Or missing it? Its probably a catch 22 situation I guess. You want some quiet but then you miss them when they are gone.

Judy - Firstly can I say you live in like my dream land! Oh to live so close to a chocolate factory :p For some reason my ticker is out 1 day and yesterday was CD28 so AF was due today. No signs as yet but I am pretty sure she will be arriving on the door step any minute now, but oh well I have kind of gotten use to it :rolleyes:

Aunty M - I am so glad to hear you have lifted a little, unfortunately there will be ups and downs, and ok and not so ok days for a very long time to come. But it does help to know there are people going through similar things, and who can be there to support each other. Good luck with the visualisation, I have days where I can be positive but others where all hope is lost - I think that is pretty normal though. Its part of grieving and loss :(

Hi to everyone else, Bailey, Lynn, Georgie (M.I.A.), and also there are some gals who havent been around for a while so I hope you are all doing ok too.

Dearest Jo and Kirsty. I have just visited Storms page and Amys page. So tiny and so perfect. I am so sorry you too have had to say goodbye to muh loved and so precious daughters.
Auntie M I will gladly write Yetis name in the sand along with Amys name and any others.

Thinking of you all
Hugs
Judy

MEL, Your boy nicholas is very handsome, i bet you think of him often. I wish you all the best.

Thank you so much Tamika :hug:

Having recently had a miscarriage, i am wondering if anyone has any ideas as to ways of honouring a miscarriage, i've heard of people letting go of balloons or making a scrapbook of scans and tests of their baby and even planting a tree. I want to find a way to aknowledge my 12 week pregnancy and baby and have something physical to remember, not just the memories and pain i feel in my heart.
Tamika

Im sorry Tamika I have never had a miscarriage so I cant help you with any ideas, although planting a tree sounds lovely. I know there are others here who have experienced what you have and I am sure they will offer some advice when they pop in.

I am sorry to hear of your little angel :hug:

Tamika: I am very sorry for your loss :hugs: I can understand you wish to do something to honour your baby. Did you name your bub? If not perhaps you could give bub a name and get a pendant or something with the name engraved. It doesn't have to be a boy/girl name, it can simply be something with a special meaning to you. Some of the other ladies in here have candles that they light for the babies. That is also a really nice idea.

Hi to everyone else. DH's plane is delayed so still waiting for him to get home. Expect him about 8pm so not too long, hence I'm still stalking BB :)

Lv Spring

Hi everyone,

Auntie M - Yes, it was good to see bub's kicking and jumping around, lets just hope it stays that way.:) Glad to hear you are feeling better.

Jlk - I hope everything goes well with your test tomorrow.

Hello to everyone else too, I hope you are all well.

Tamika, I'm sorry for your loss.

I lost Blaise to a miscarriage, and I honoured him (I think it was a boy) by giving him a name, a place in our family... We are building a new house soon and I will also be making an angel garden for both of my angels.

morning ladies, sorry no personals from me, just too grumpy and abusive for anything worthwhile at the moment. going to be in the wings reading but not posting until i get over this mood, as i don't think i can be too supportive in this frame of mind. hope you are all doing well or at least the best you can, take care.

Klee -I am so sorry that you are down at the moment. This rollercoaster ride is so unpredictable and I hope that you are on the 'up' very soon. You know we are all here for you if you need to vent or anything. Big big hugs coming your way :hug:

Tamika - I am so sorry for your loss. I think it is a beautiful to want to acknowledge your bub. Perhaps have a garden, or plant a tree, buy a special piece of jewellery, scrapbook your scan photos or perhaps name your bub.

Mel - how are you going? Any sign of the witch? I hope she has stayed away. :hug:

Jo - good luck today with your test. I hope you manage to do it today and they don't cancel on your again. Storm's page is beautiful :hug:

Hi everyone,

Klee - Big :hug: to you, you can be here whether you are in supportive mode or not. We all have our times when we need to gain support instead of give and that is ok. I hope you feel a little "better" soon and just know we are all here for you.

Lynn - No AF hasnt arrived, weird cause she was due Saturday. I know I am not pg though cause I tested yesterday and today and it was negative and I would have definitely had a positive before now. IVF here we come :(

Bailey - How are you going? So glad to have you back in cyberland :confetti:

Spring - Hope DH is ok after all the cuddles he would have got last night ;)

:hello: to everyone else.

Bye for now,

love Mel

Mel - I am still hoping for some good news, did you talk to the FS?

Mel: I haven't given up hope, :crossfingers: :crossfingers: :crossfingers:

Klee: I really think you need one of these :hugs:

Lv Spring

I have given up hope, there is absolutely no way I wouldnt have gotten a BFP by now. But I am going to call my FS tomorrow and mention what is going on cause I definitely dont think its normal that AF hasnt arrived.

I did have a thought that maybe the laparoscopy has upset my cycle though. I didnt stop bleeding completely until about 2-3 days before O so maybe something is up there. I dunno, does anyone have any thoughts on that? I googled it but didnt find too much, one thing that said it could, but others that said it wouldnt :wall:

Mel - i am not giving up for you - surely there is still a chance of a BFP ???? At the same time, good luck with the FS - hope you get some answers as to what is going on inside there (perhaps a growing bean).

Mel, big big :hug: coming your way. Our bodies are an amazing thing when they work correctly, but when they don't, they are so bl00dy frustrating!!!!!!!! It is good news that AF hasn't arrived but I'm sorry you haven't got your bfp. Do you think the tests are not sensitive enough? Have you spoken to FS yet? Maybe see if he can do a blood test to see what your levels are. Thinking of you today babe :hugs:

Klee, I'm sorry that you were having a down day...... *hugs*

Mel, good luck, it's not over until the red lady sings....

My chart is doing weird things at the moment, I'm getting lovely hot flashes from the clomid so my temps are all over the place lol..... I got a faint OPK today, which is a good sign that I might O even earlier than CD17 (which was last month and the earliest I'd ever O'd).

I really really want to be pregnant this cycle as we're moving in with the inlaws while we build our new house and I don't want to have to BD in the room next to theirs lol...

Oh Kristy, good luck this month! I hope it works for you otherwise it could get a bit weird when you are :bd: constantly next to the in-laws! :lol: I have everything crossed for you babe :hug:

Hey all, just a quick one, off to the dr's to find out my blood test results, don't think they will show anything though!
I'll be back later to catch up on some posts!

Good luck Jo! :goodluck:

Hi everyone,

Mel - How did you go today? Anything happen? Still holding out hope for some good news.:goodluck::crossfingers:

Saph - Sounds promising - Get to Bed woman! :D

Jlk - Good Luck with your results.

I'll be back in later to see how everyone is :)

Mel: Not meaning to stalk you but I hope that the witch has stayed away. I still have everything possible crossed for you :crossfingers:

Saph: I hope that those OPK's lines just keep getting stronger. I'm with Bailey 'get thee to bed' :bd:

Jo: Any news on the BT results yet? best of luck hun

Lv Spring

Hey girls - just a quick one to pop in and say AF has still not arrived. Started getting some pre AF symptoms today (bloating etc) but they are completely gone now and I feel nothing. Tried to ring my FS to see if it could be cause of the laparoscopy but I missed his call so will have to ring him back tomorrow. I still dont believe it is possible to be pg but I want to know why she is messing with me!

Anyway, best be off - promised DH we could sit down and watch a movie together tonight.

Take care, Mel :)

Hey Mel,
Good luck with the FS tomorrow, I really hope he gives you an idea of what is going on. Well, actually, I really hope that you are UTD and the tests are just not showing it yet :D Let us all know how you go.

howdy everyone. i'm now trying to do the impossible -- to forget that we're ttc. hah. relax, right? it took so long with Yeti, i'm afraid it will again. relax relax relax.
Jo- Storm's page is lovely. The footprints poem made me smile and cry.
Klee- grumpy or not, i hope you pop in here if it helps you. it helps me to know i'm not the only one who gets the darn cranky pants out more often than i'd like.

mel - so hope af stays away, it sure sounds promising, let us know what the FS says. i'll try not to stalk you on text today
auntie m - lol on the cranky pants, dp told me last night i need to get rid of them cause he doesn't like the way they sit, nice hey, thats his nice way of saying snap out of it.
jlk - hope your test went well.
lynn - so glad to hear hope is doing well, would love to see some more piccies
update on me, still moody, af arrived y'day 5 days later than usual however cause i was doing opk's i knew this would be the case. am a little befuzzled on the ol' opk's now though. on that note i'll go cause you'll probably kick me out anyway lol

auntie m - its hard to relax isn't it, maybe find something to take your mind off it, knitting or something. easier to say than do i know, last month was our first month of actually ttc you know with opk's and stuff to help pinpoint and I'm already ready to give up, i don't know that i'm actually mentally prepared for the let downs, i've decided this month I am going to start running, to get my mind off it, i know its a bit too physical but i need to get the stress out as well

Hey all,

well my glucose test came back alright so i am releived about that!
Dr seems to think that I have a stomach ulcer though!

How is everyone?
Back later, I'd better go & get my DH a birthday present (it's today! LOL)

Oh Mel do let us know how things go with the FS... I have been thinking of you so much :hug:...

I just want to let those in SEQ know that Dr S is coming to Nambour on the 17th of August to speak about immunological reasons for recurrent miscarriage. It is being held at the auditorium at Nambour General Hospital at 5pm.

Thanks Nat for your call - it was lovely to talk to you. I am sorry I had to run to do the school pick up... You are on a winner... I can feel it in my waters! :hug:

Jo - that is good news on your test but not so good if it is an ulcer. Are you going to have more tests?

Klee - :hug: I'm sorry the witch arrived. I hope she is kind to you and it is the last you see of her for a loooooong time!

Mel - thinking of you (as always :hug: )

Auntie M - it is so hard isn't it. I did the same, said I was going to forget about it but I just couldn't help it. I am a test junkie and couldn't live without them :rolleyes: I hope it happens for you very very soon :hugs:

Hi to everyone else

Hi Girls,

Aunty M - It is really hard to forget about TTC, you wouldnt believe how many people have said "dont try so hard and it will happen"... aaaah if only dieting was so easy :rolleyes: I hope you are able to relax though, what about finding something regular that you enjoy like a massage or getting your hair blow waved or nails done, I dunno whatever you enjoy - something that you can do every week or 2 just for you.

Klee - Well done on deciding to start running, we bought a treadmill so I could start walking but I havent been all that good :redface: Hope you are feeling ok.

Jo - Thats good about the results of the glucose test, but I really hope you dont have a stomach ulcer.

Saph - Any update on your cycle? Hope its working itself out. I know the feeling about ILs around (well my DH does anyway), we have had my parents staying with us for almost a month and looks like maybe another month to come and although it has been working out ok, DTD is a little awkward... nothing like a bit of dead silence to add to the enjoyment :lol:

Hi to everyone else.

Well I spoke to my FS today and he organised for me to have a blood test to check if I have ovulated as well as check HCG levels (just in case). I dont technically have the results yet, but it just so happens that I am working for the pathology group that did the bloods so I had a little peak before I left work and the HCG results werent ready but the progesterone level was 2.9. I didnt understand whether it meant I hadnt O'd or whether I was about to but Lynn told me that it is probably meaning that AF is on the way. I am a bit unsure how the FS is going to know whether I have O'd or not though but anyway I will leave that to him. I see him for the results (and play really dumb LOL) on Tuesday when we have our IVF appointment so I guess I will know that answer then.

DH and I have decided that we are going to put off IVF for a few months. We will still be going to the initial appointment next Tuesday to get the info and costs but we just have too much stuff going on in our lives at the moment. BUT... our FS has agreed to let me trial fertility drugs for a couple of months to see if it will give us just that little bit extra to TTC while we wait for IVF. He says it will not necessarily do anything as DHs swimmers are working and I am Oing but on the other hand will not cause any harm. I am desperate and willing to try anything to be honest, and I just think maybe I just need a little boost in my hormones or something to make everything come together. I dunno, I probably sound like a crazy person!

Wow that was my longest post for a while, so I shall be off now.

Take care everyone,

Love Mel :)

P.S. Lynn, thanks so much for your help :hug:

Hey Mel, it is hard to know what is going on in your cycle without knowing when you o'd. Prog rises after ovulation but if you don't conceive it drops and you have a period. It would have been good if they had done a bt 7dpo to see what your prog was like. When you are on the fertility drugs (is it Clomid?) maybe ask for them to monitor you with bt and u/s so you can see exactly when you are ovulating. You may not be ovulation when you think you are - just a suggestion. They will probably check you on CD21 to make sure your ovaries are not enlarged as Clomid can do this. When they were monitoring me it was interesting to see how late I ovulate, when I did ovulate!

And you are not crazy, just some who is trying to have a baby and there is nothing wrong with trying anything and everything.

Good luck with it all babe :hugs: I'm always here to help..........if I can :)

Months ago I had a test on CD22 to check ovulation and it came back saying I had O'd. I am not too sure which drug he will give me, he said we will talk more about it on Tuesday when I see him. I will talk to him about monitoring with bt and us but the problem for me is that I only get paid for what I work so I cant take too much time off for tests, but we will see. I really do believe I did O this month, I felt O symptoms (bloating, achy sides, EWCM) around CD13 so unless all of that was happening but I hadnt actually O'd :dunno: So I think you are right and AF is on her way, but thats ok I will survive.

Yeah I can understand you not wanting to take time off. The IVF clinic I went through opened at 7am so I could have my bt and u/s early. Most people went because of work, I just went early to get it out of the way for the day. Just an idea that you might be able to do the same. I'll be thinking of you next week :hug:

howdy everyone.
klee- knitting might be better than obsessing, and i've always wanted to be able to make something with my hands. last time i tried, though, the pot holder i made was unsafe at any speed. lol. i've been bad about meditating since Yeti died, but i think it would help me to calm down a bit. i too picked up some running -- my legs feel like lead every time i go.
Jo- good news on the glucose test. the ulcer doesn't sound good -such a lot of stress and no good way to let it go.
Mel- i always feel guilty doing something just for me--but you are right that it could help not go on this damn hope/despair cycle. i had a friend tell me to just relax and i'd get pregnant, i just felt so much guilt because it seemed like my fault that i couldn't get pregnant because i couldn't relax. she didn't mean it that way at all, but i'm so willing to accept guilt. you don't sound crazy at all to me for trying different ways of help. this is such a challenge, and who really knows what will work?! do what ever feels right for you!

Mel - sorry to hear that AF might be coming but it is good news that you will trial some drugs to get your body moving and grooving, reading for any IVF you have (or better still if you fall beforehand). You sound so relaxed (and saying that you will take it easy) - it may all just fall into place before you know it.

Klee - sorry to hear that AF came too. What a bugger but it wont be for long ok.

Mel honey I am so sorry that you are still in limbo. I really hope that the FS is able to explain the BT results to you. You don't sound crazy at all, and I think you are being amazingly brave :hug: you are a stronger woman than I. I think that the plan of trying fertility drugs first before heading down the IVF route sounds like a very sensible thing to do. It might just give you that boost you need. Just hang in there honey, we are all here for you and care so much about you.

To all you other lovely ladies, take care.

Big love
Spring

Mel, any updates on AF or from the FS?