TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

Just a very quick one have to do parcel pick up!

Mish DrS is one very wonderful Dr Gavin Sacks who knows almost everthing about NK cells and recurrent miscarriage. As far as asprin, two schools of thought if you have had recurrent miscarriage and have a tendancy to clot then yes you should be on it and it can't hurt, I take asprin only once I have a +hpk BUT I also inject clexcane from O, which is a blood thinning medication which really needs to be watch. If you bruse easy and if you were to cut yourself or have an accident you could bleed to death so it is very important to weight up all risks and benfits.

When I get back later this afternoon if you want more info just post and we can talk later.

Anyway Im off, will post later.

P.S Spring Im so glad you found someone who can help, he sounds wonderful! Hope you enjoy your nap....wish it was me.

Lynn - Elite athletes, who aren't quite as elite as they would like to be, often 'give blood' prior to competition, becuase when your body replaces the blood you get a nice energy boost.. I'm not sure how true it is but Flowerchild will know. (I think?)... glad your testing is over for now and sending vibes for answers, sometimes a bad answer is acutally a good outcome, because it leads to fixing what is wrong. Oh and well done for putting Cooper on the card, what a beautiful thing.

Spring - I am so happy you have found someone who can help. Oh and I love that he isn't into drug pushing. Not that drugs don't have their place in medicine, but it is so refreshing to hear of doctors willing to take the 'hard' approach over the quick fix. Hope you enjoyed your sleep.

Hello there - sneaking in another post when I'm meant to be working!

Lynn I've also heard that giving blood is supposed to be a healthy thing to do in terms of regenerating fresh blood cells - but please take it easy cleaning the house, 10 vials isn't a small amount if you are already feeling nauseous!! If I were you I would use it as an excellent excuse NOT to clean the house! Thanks for the good luck with a BFP, not feeling overly confident with our start date due to my newly shortened cycle but what do you do?

Spring it sounds like you have had a very emotional day, and I hope this lovely gent is going to be just the trick to help you manage - he sounds like he will know where you are coming from. I think it's not so surprising that it's PTSD, the emotional load everyone on this forum bears is incredible and just confirms how amazing and strong women can be - I don't know you terribly well, but for someone who has just been diagnosed with PTSD you amaze me with your continued life and spirit on the forum and I think you deserve for this pregnancy to go perfectly.

Nat thanks for the feedback, is Dr S based in QLD by any chance??!! I did come back negative for tests regarding clotting factors, however my o neg blood type with the hubby being o pos does concern me - I've been shot full of anti-D in the past but still..Probably not worth attempting what they have you on but I might go back on the aspirin just in case. I've also just signed up for the herbal treatment at Sharkeys - prepared to give anything a go right now. Would love to chat to you further about it, have people over for dinner tonight ( my hubby cooks a lot so I count myself very lucky!) but will jump on later this evening and see if you are still up - if not would really like to catch up soon...

Hello to everyone else and sending good vibes - Kerry I don't think I've chatted much to you yet, but have a read a few of your posts and hope to get to know you better...

If anyone would like a laugh - I think I'm up for the true blue aussie award after the other night, was woken up in the early hours by our resident possum literally spread eagled on my window screen hissing into my bedroom. Very unhappy with him playing batman at 4am, I threw my pillow at the window - after which he sat in the tree outside the open window and continued hissing - so, there I am at 4.30 in the morning in nothing but a bath towel, on my back deck, throwing thongs at a possum in a gum tree!!! Hubby being away is more than just a problem for BDing apparently!!:cryinglaugh:

Spring - babe I hope you are ok. If you need to talk, you know where I am. I am so glad that you have spoken to him and that he is going to work through this with you during your pg. It is good to feel comfortable with someone that you are sharing such personal feelings and information. Sometimes a cry on your own is what you need but if you need a cry with someone, you know I am just around the corner and can come over for a cry with you. Let me know how you are going tonight if you can. If you are still sleeping, I understand as you have had a big emotional day. Thinking of you and sending you a HUGE :hug:

Jo - I wouldn't call myself an elite athlete!! But I don't think I had energy after I gave blood. Maybe I did, I did clean the house for hours and hours! I agree with what you have said about bad answers but they can be good because it means I can start to fix the problem. I was only saying to DH last night that I am prepared for AF and I don't think I will be disappointed this month because I know that I haven't o'd and therefore can't be pg. I just want it to hurry up and arrive so I can start on next month which is hopefully my month! I thought putting Cooper on my sisters card was the right thing to do and I felt really strong and in a way proud to include my son as part of our family. But when I told DH about it, he told me that I shouldn't have done it. I was too upset with him to get him to explain why so we haven't spoken about it since. I just think that it was the right thing for me. I include my dogs too as they are part of my family - is that wrong too?????

Mish - I agree, 10 vials isn't a small amount! Especially when you see the tray full of vials with your blood. Being nauseous would have been a good excuse to not clean the house but it really needed it. It is done now so I am happy. What a funny story - is the possum ok???? I hope you got your thongs back!

Deb - hope you survived the trip to the city and are feeling a little bit better today.

Hi to everyone else.

Just a quick one for all you animal lovers - I deliberately threw rubber thongs so I wouldnt hurt him - plus I'm a terrible shot so I think I annoyed him into going away rather than hurt him! However - if anyone can suggest a humane way of encouraging him to take up residence elsewhere I would love to hear it! :wall:

Hi everyone,

Jo - I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Thanks for the email, I will reply to that seperately. It is awful that you have been going through all of this on your own and bottling it up inside, I really do think letting it all out (even if it is just to us gals) is a very good outlet for your emotions. I also have no idea what it is like as a single mum, I am sure it is hard to find time for yourself but you should try... you deserve it :hug:

Spring - :hugs: for you today. It is great that you have found someone who not only is sensitive and kind but also has some insight into what you are going through because of his own sadness over his child. While I understand that you feel like this is just another thing you have to deal with, in a way I really think its a good thing that it has been diagnosed. You would have been going through it anyway, whether you know what is wrong or not, and I think it can only make it easier to know that something IS wrong rather than you are just going "nuts". I hope you have a nice sleep and feel a little better when you wake.

Lynn - Ya poor bugger! 10 vials? I thought I had alot and I didnt have that much. I am so happy you have found someone to help you and while as you say it is not possible this month I am so keeping my fingers crossed for you next month! By the way, well done on your house work - mine is disgustingly in need of it!

Nat - Hope you are well - How is your friend?

Deb - Hope you feel better soon :)

Bailey - So glad that you found the sids and kids meeting ok, I have been thinking of going to one in Melbourne but am really nervous about it cause I know I will ball and I hate balling in front of people. Did you find that hard? Or did you not even think about it? Were any Dads there? I would like DH to go cause I dont know anyone else who could go with me cause they have lost babies but he wouldnt go if he was gonna be the only guy.

MIsh - Fingers crossed for this month.

Hi to everyone I have missed.

My friend who moved to Brisbane has downloaded MSN messenger so I am chatting to her online, YAY... I have missed talking to her every day :(

Mel

P.S. Mish - too funny about the possum story, lets hope your neighbours arent night owls

Hey Mel - how are you feeling about this month? I know that last month you thought you had it, any feelings on this one? I hope so much that it is BFP.

Hey Lynn,

I have to admit I don't hold out too much hope for this month, I am feeling nothing. No change in CM although I dont know if I would yet. I am gonna try really hard not to let myself be too sure this time cause I cant handle that disappointment again next month. I am worried we have stuffed up though, because I was DUE to O on Sunday we were meant to BD Fri-Wed nights and we did it every day but it got to last night which was our last night and neither of us could be bothered. I know that sounds awful, we are married and should want to do it and we do but every night starts to wear thin after a few, especially when you just want to sleep, so we didnt do it. I am now really worried that I have lost my chance :( Plus I didnt get a positive O test and tested all the way through from friday to mon (or tues cant remember) but nothing. So I dont even know if and when I O'd.

I am hoping that it is this month though, I am less stressed after quiting my job (to be honest couldnt care less about work now, I go in do my work and come home and think well its not my problem I am leaving). If it doesnt work this month I dont know what is wrong, I got pg 1st time so easily so dont understand what the problem is now. Surely it cant be all working and then all of a sudden stop working?

Anyway, how are you feeling tonight? A little less nauseous?

Hey gals

Well I didn't sleep a wink this arvo but managed to do the washing, groceries, vacuming and wash the dogs so at least I was productive. I still feel very confused about everything we talked about today. I just spent ages debriefing with DH so all in all it has been an exhausting day. Spoke with Mum too, I haven't told her yet because I don't want them to worry any more about me but once I am getting a bit better I will tell her and dad.

Lynn: I don't know if they told you when you were giving blood but it is to be expected that you would feel nauseous. It can take up to 24 hours for the blood to regenerate and from the sounds of it you have given a stack. I hope you are feeling better, I know how cleaning can make you feel better but make sure you take it easy. About writing Cooper's name on the card, I write from the ....... family. (sorry, don't want to use my real name but you know it anyway) That way I feel like I have included Harry and my dogs also. Just a thought. I hope you and DH aren't too upset about it all.

Mel: I'm so glad your mate in Brissy is online. I know how much you miss her so that is a really nice thing that you can keep in touch. I have everything crossed for a bfp for you on the 5th. I know how hard that day is going to be for you with Nicholas' anniversary so I am sending you every little bit of :bluedust: I can muster.

Dream: How are you honey. I have been thinking about you and your friend. I hope she is ok and that you are ok supporting her. Take care babe.

Mish: LMAO about the thongs and the possum. I used to live in North Queensland and the amount of restless nights I had due to stupid possums! They sound like someone is running on your roof which is freaky. I don't know any tricks to get rid of them but I know there are people who humanley catch and release them. Worth a try if the possum hangs around. Also, thanks so much for your kind words about my diagnosis today. It really touched me.

Flowerchild: How was your trip to the big smoke? I am so envious of you living on a dariy farm, what a wonderful life. I hope you are feeling better today and that the sinus problem is easing. DH gets terrible hay fever and it knocks him out when he gets a bad dose.

Bailey: Wow, what an emotional day going to the SIDs meeting. I just want to reach through the computer and give you and your friend a bit :hugs: Thanks also for letting me know about the subsequent pregnancy support. I don't think I am ready for that just yet but I can see in the future that it would be really great.

Jo: yes I agree with you, medication has a place but not as a first resort. I realised today just how affected I have been so I guess it is a step forward. I was so tough going through everything again but I know it was worth it. How are you babe?

Well to anyone who I've missed I hope you are well. DH will be home tomorrow night so I am really looking forward to seeing him. This week feels like it has flown by. He told me tonight he won't be able to come home next weekend which is a bummer but at least I know in advance and don't get my hopes up too much.

MAJOR TISSUE ALERT

Well my closest friend sent me an email today saying she spent a restless night last night thinking about me and Harry so she got up and wrote a poem, I thought I would share it but I warn it is a big tear jearker so don't read on if it is too much for you at the moment. It goes


Their lips on your forehead, your hand in their hand
Their treasured moments, with their strong little man
Their hearts beat for you, the tears that they cry
Yearning for you, your laugh and your cry

As time moves forward, their love stays as strong
As you watch over them, for their happiness you long
They are your parents, your proud Mum and Dad
They made sure you knew love, and that you never felt sad
You are already a son, will be a brother one day
You know their love will remain, but hope their tears fade away

Child of my friend, I love and miss you
Think of you always, and yearn for you too
But nothing compares, to the feelings so strong
Of your wonderful parents, for you they do long
But know that we all wish you were able to stay
And share every moment, of every day

But you have moved on, to where we don’t know
Yet we know you are near, and we all love you so
So know you will stay, in our hearts and our minds
As will your proud parents, no matter distance or time
And now I will leave you, and kiss you goodnight
As in my dreams, you will always shine bright.

Well on that note and through my tears I think it is time for a big :grouphug:

Sweet dreams my wonderful friends.

Luv Spring

Hey Mel

I know what you mean about the bding issue. We kept going and going (ok maybe TMI) because we didn't know when I would O. It sounds really sad but it does become a chore but hopefully at the end of it you will have a BFP and then you can go back to bding when you want to ;) We had a few nights where we were too tired or DH got home really late and I was so angry with myself the next day because I kept thinking what if that was the day.............as it turns out none of them were the day this month :rolleyes:

Maybe you can have a prog test to see if you have o'd. Do you keep your temp? My temp still hasn't gone up :confused:

I can't really help you as to why the first time it was easy and now it is difficult. I have always found it difficult but was hoping that after a pg it would be easier - not the case! Aren't you having some tests done if you don't get it this month? I hope you do get your BFP and don't have to go through all the test but if you do at least you will know what is going on and can start a plan. While I am disappointed that I am not pg yet at least now I know I am not o'ing so I need a bit of help and hopefully I will have this next month and get my BFP :pray:

Thanks for asking - yes I am feeling better tonight. The nauseous has gone which is good. I think it is the new meds I am taking.

Hi Everyone,

Lynn - aka Pincushion! Just think of all of those vials of blood maybe as pieces to a puzzle that the docs can try to solve, and in the end there will be a BFP! It's great that you have been so pro-active in trying to get some results.What you said about the regrets we all have, I know you have a couple too, but I have been thinking about it today and I have decided that our bubs know that everything we did and do is what we can do at the time, and they would hate us to be sad about decisions we made under such circumstanced, so I am really going to try not to beat myself up about it anymore.
I think the support group was good, as I said, it really was just a group of us sitting around and talking. It was like us last week, just abit more formal. I will find the numbers for you and email them to you tonight. I think you do have to call them and let them know that you are coming.

Dream - So right on it being easier to talk to strangers. I think you can really say how you feel without the worry of upsetting loved ones. And especially to people that can really understand. I really hope you can catch up with us all next time.

Mish - Glad to hear that DH made it back in time. Fingers crossed for you. I also hope that possum gives you a break tonight :)

Spring - I am glad to hear that you are feeling good about getting some help. I know it must be stressful for you to be UTD, but keep that goal in your sights. You are almost a quarter of the way through (even more if that doc takes Lil Spring earlier!!) Not long to go till you get that bubs in your arms. hope you are feeling better after your couch kip. Is hubby back this weekend?

Flowerchild - I hope you are feeling better!

Mel - I am not really a talker, but I found that talking at the support group was quite natural beacause you know that everyone in that room understands what you have been through. I was worried about bawling too, but I pretty much started as soon as I walked in the room, and then hearing about everyone elses bubs, i don't think i stopped the whole 2 hours. I was nervous about crying at first, but everyone is. And really, if you can't cry in front of these women, who can you cry in front of? I walked out with a throbbing headache, but at the same time it felt like I had purged a lot of built up stress and emotion that I had been holding in. The rest of the day, I felt down, thinking about Asha as well as the other babies, but I am glad I did it today. I think that you should go, you don't have to talk, you can leave when you want and you don't have to go back if it's not for you. I never thought I was the type to go to something like that, but I have decided I am going to give myself every chance I have to get through this. There was also alot of talk about TTC the next one. So that was interesting too. There was one man there, and it was great to hear his side, he was very open and expressive. I know my DP would never go to it though, he is one of those that hold's it in for my sake - or so he thinks. He usually goes surfing or mows the lawn or something when he feels sad. As I said, it may not be for everyone, but I didn't think it was for me either, but I am glad I went, and I will be going to the next one.

Hi to everyone else too!:hello:

Wow, Lynn, Bailey and Mel I think we all posted at the same time.

Mel: Don't give up hope just yet, I know it is frustrating but it ain't over until the witch shows up.

Lynn: So glad you are feeling better.

Bailey: I feel like I have been crying all day also. It is very hard but I think what you said about purging is so right. I hope you are feeling that the weight on your shoulders has lifted, if only a little.

Well now that you are all here I'll stick around for a while longer. Just hang the washing out first and be back.

Luv Spring

Spring - We must have been posting at the same time. That poem was beautiful - well at least the part I managed to get through. I will read the rest later.

Spring - That poem is just beautiful, you have a very special friend there. Thank you for sharing it with us. I hope you are feeling ok and it must be so nice to know that DH is coming home very soon.

Bailey - you are so right about our regrets. I think I will try to be like you and not beat myself up about it anymore. We did what we thought was best at the time.

Nat - how are you babe? How is your friend going? I hope everything works out.

Thanks guys, it took me about 3 goes to read through it but I am touched that she put her thoughts into words.

Actually it reminds me, I am always talking about you girls to my friend and mentioned that your angel babies had websites. I mentioned Cooper and Nicholas' sites and my friend asked if she had your permission to vist them. I said I would ask first because I didn't know if it would be ok to send her the links. No pressure if you don't want her to. She just said that she has heard so much about you and feels like she knows you. She is always asking how you all are so don't think that she is being a nosey body, she genuinely cares about you even if you have never met you.

Oh well, it really is nighty ni from me.

Luv Spring

Spring - that has really touched me to know that your friend wants to look at Cooper's website. Of course she can. You know how much it means to me for Cooper to be acknowledged and if that is by someone wanting to look at his site, then I would love them to. For me I like to show people things I have done in memory of Cooper because I can't show him to people, iykwim. I'm not sure if I have told you (and forgot to show you on Sunday) but I have had a ring made with Cooper's birthstone. I have tried to take a picture and put it on the website but it just comes out blurry. Oh well, next time I see you I will show you.
I'm going to sound like a mum now - but you had better get your rest because you and lil' Spring have had a big day and you need to take it easy. I hope you are feeling a little bit better after talking to your mum and DH and just think, one more sleep before DH gets home.

Spring, that poem was gorgeous. What a special friend you have...
Just to explain I don't live ON a dairy farm. Our land is bordered by a Dairy farm so the cows are at our fence (sometimes through our fence!). It is very idyllic and beautiful and I always feel incredibly lucky when I look out my windows to the "girls".
I am feeling much better - just a bit snuffly. Our trip to the coast was busy but I only had my Evie with me (nearly 3) and we had a girly time and it was lovely. Busy and traffic - listen to me Ilived in the inner city for 15 years of my life and now I am allergic to the traffic!!!!!!!

Lyn - I hope you have recovered from your trip to the pathologist - you poor love. :hug:

Nat - Thinking of you and your friend :hug:

Everyone else I am sorry but I just can't keep my cotton wool head together so I have to go and come back tomorrow. Love to you all :hug:

Spring - Oh that poem is beautiful :cry: What a lovely person she must be to have written that for you, thanks for sharing it cause I sort of feel like I could relate and hope that my friends would feel that same way. About Nicholas' website, I am more than happy for you to send a link to your friend. You know how much I love showing my boy off, but maybe just prepare her that there are photos on there. I do worry that people will be "shocked" - one of my friends (needless to say male) asked is he "dead (sorry hate that word but...) in that photo". I felt like saying, well what do you think einstein! Thanks for all the baby dust, I really think I need it :(

Lynn - I havent done temps cause I dont really understand it all, I have only used the OPK's. OB has given me a request form to have a test to see if I am Oing (?prog or not) which I have to have on CD22 which is next Monday I think, so I guess that will give some answers. It is hard to understand why it is so difficult isnt it? I keep trying to remember that we are only given what we can handle - but sometimes I just wanna yell at someone and say I cant handle anymore! BTW I agree with everyone else and think you should take it easy after you have all that blood taken - hope it has all rejuvenated tomorrow and that you get that energy burst... Mind you what will you do with all the energy, you have already cleaned the house LOL

Bailey - I know you were posting to Lynn but I totally agree with no regrets. Our bubs know we did all that we could or knew how and they rest in peace knowing that we loved them with all our hearts, now if only their mummies could learn to live in peace. Thanks for telling me about the sid n kids support group, I might give the Melb one a call and see when their meetings are. Sometimes I feel like I bottle things up, I really think this is my main outlet for my emotions which I do think is helpful though. But maybe a support group would help me even more, I would love DH to go and I think he would so I might chat with him about it. I am glad your head feels better today, and I hope your next meeting goes well also :hugs:

Deb - Being a Melbourne girl and travelling over the Westgate Bridge every day I totally understand that city allergy - I hate it!