TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

Lynn: I can imagine the mixed emotions with receiving your period :hugs: BUT it is the start of your very last cycle!!!!! This is IT!!!! What cycle day will you begin your injections? I think you said you were picking them up tomorrow? How did SIDS for KIDS go my love? Thinking of you... :hug:

Alex: Good luck tomorrow - I bled for over two weeks with one of my D&C's. Then when I thought it was all over it started again for a few days. It would be good to get your HB checked. A supplement that I have found really helpful is "FLORADIX" it is a herbal iron mixture. It is gentle on your body and really does work. I hope your day was good and that bleeding stops for you soon... :hug:

Hindonly: Welcome my love - we have *met* in the assisted conception forum I think? I am sorry that you are here but it's a lovely place to support you through this difficult time. That bfp will be just around the corner I am sure. Remember it can take a while after a loss for your body to be fully fertile again. How many weeks pregnant were you it it's okay to ask? Sending you lots of love and I am glad you found us - we can all help each other through this difficult journey... :hugs:

Me: well I have had a lovely afternoon with my gorgeous friend and her gorgeous babies. Each time I see them I think I should have one too (we were due a weekish apart). So, it's hard but it's so lovely to see these babies finally here safe and sound. One of the things that my journey has taught me is just how precious a healthy live baby is...

I will pop back later - my DH is at ANOTHER meeting tonight (he's the under 8's footy coach this year!) so I can have some BB time tonight!

Hi all,

Thanks for the warm welcomes.
Spring i don't know about being amazing and strong to get through my wedding day- i think it was more of a case where i HAD too. Trust me many tears were shed and i tried to tell my mum that i couldn't get married, not today, i just can't.Somehow with a belly full of painkillers i managed to be able to stand up and i just tried to go with the flow as i was so zombied out.
It must have been so hard for you to talk about Harry to them! I hope you are feeling a little better now.

I was just cleaning up earlier today and came across ultrasound pics and that was the end of me for the rest of the day till now....I just can't help but think,what did i do wrong? What have i done to deserve all this pain and heart ache? I am really that bad of person?:cry:
I don't even know whether i have the strength to keep on ttc! But i just can't see me giving up just yet. I don't know i am just very confused about my emotions at the moment.
DH is starting to come around and comfort me a bit,he has finally admitted that he has no idea how i am feeling now that is a big achievement!

Sorry this post has basically been all about me....just a bit self absorbed at the moment.

Kristee-lee: each one of us in here has asked the same questions, what did I do wrong? Why did my body fail me? But there is nothing you or your baby did wrong honey. There is a reason, we just don't know that reason and to be honest no reason will ever be good enough.

I am glad your DH is coming 'round. As I said in the other thread, I have found that men grieve differently, mostly they deal with emotions internally. It doesn't mean that they aren't upset, it just means that they are dealing with it in a different way.

Just remember that it is early days honey, and you are allowed to be as upset as you need to be. Has your Ob/Dr offerred you and DH any testing?

I hope you are feeling a bit better.

:hug: Spring

Spring i had tests done not long back and they can not find any explanation as to why i seem to be losing the babies.....i think that makes me worse on asking/blaming myself for what has happened because if they can't find a reason it must be something i'm doing...
Yes i am feeling a bit better now thanks for asking.

Hopefully Deb (Flowerchild) or Nat (Dream) will pop in tonight because they know every test under the sun and may be able to help you with a plan of attack about trying to get some answers.

Glad to hear you are feeling a little bit better.

Lv Spring

Hi Spring - I am glad the midwife you saw was supportive and kind. I agree the public system can be very depressing sometimes... :(

Kristee: It's great you are seeing a fertility specialist - where do you live? Who are you seeing? He/she will no doubt do the full gamut of testing.

I have some letters to write tonight so I will pop in later...

Wow it's been a busy day. This thread is getting very full now - I'm sorry if I miss anyone.

Deb - I start the injections on CD4 but I'm picking the 'showbag' up tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous to be honest about this cycle, I just hope it will be ok. I'm just not sure how I am going to be with the injections...........but I have to remember my dream, don't I. I will need a lot of that positive energy that you send to me :hug: Sids and Kids was good. I met so wonderful strong woman but it is just so hard hearing about more babies that we have lost. The weird thing was all of us there had lost boys. It was very difficult for me to talk about losing Cooper but in another way it is good to talk about him and what happened. I hope you are not suffering as much any more. Sending you a really big hug and a belly rub to make your belly feel a little bit better.
Seeing your friend and her babies must of been really hard. I hope you are ok.

Nat - hey Nat, I love seeing your posts! :hug: I will give you a buzz tomorrow after my appointment. I guess I won't need to ask questions about my bt now cos I won't need to have it.

Mel - how are you babe? How is the house plans coming along? Any news back from the ex? Have you done a test yet????? Hope you doing ok :hug:

Spring - I'm glad today went ok. You are very strong and brave to do that alone. Just remember I am here (I'm not a nutcase anymore.........promise!!) Lil Spring is going to be here in no time - I can't wait!

Klee - your lily story is just beautiful. It was your precious angel telling you she is ok. We find comfort in many ways and I think the lillies are beautiful. I'm sorry about that person at work. Unfortunately people don't think and you will come across insensitive people all the time, they make us stronger if nothing else. Thinking of you :hug:

Alex - I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope it all goes well. And yes this is going to be MY month. I just can't keep doing this. So lots of positive thinking happening here.

Tommysmum - it was great to meet you today. Hopefully you can meet up with the rest of the Sydney gals at our next catchup.

Kristee and Hindonly - I'm sorry that you have to join this thread but you have come to the right place. You will get loads of support.

Hi to Sarah, Jo and Chelle - hope you are all doing ok.

Deb,
I just found some of my paperwork of tests already done and some of the tests are as follows:
*Coeliac disease
*Chlamydia
*Plasma Homocysteine
*Chromosomal analysis
*Lupus anticoagulant
*anti-beta !! glycoprotein
*Protein C
*Free protein S
*antinuclear antibodies
*Thyroid Stimulating Hormone
*Antiphospholipid Syndrome
*MTHFR homozygosity
*Factor V Leidin

And they all came back ''normal''. Is there any other tests i should ask for?
I am in Wagga Wagga and am seeing Jane Hargood, but if she does more tests some of them are done by some other doctor i don't know either in Melbourne or Sydney.....i must admit up until now i sorta just went with the flow without asking questions. Its pretty sad that i don't know the doctor that performed some of these tests.

Hi everyone -

Kristee - I am so sorry for the loss of your angels, I really wish you didnt have to be here. But you are very welcome, you have been through a lot and I am so sorry you went through losing your angel on what is meant to be a happy day. Unfortunately it is now the thing that will last in your memories of your wedding day. Although hopefully you graduate from this thread with future memories that will warm your heart and arms :hug:

Hindonly - I am also sorry to you for the loss of your angels. I hope that we can give you support and see you through your next pregnancy. I am sorry that you have been TTC for 6 months now, I understand how hard that is. I fell pregnant with Nicholas accidentally but now have been TTC for 7 (going on 8) months and it is so frustrating, and everytime AF arrives your heart breaks that little bit more. Hopefully we will all be graduating from this thread asap.

Spring - It sounds like it has been an emotional day, so proud of you for doing it (on your own of all things) and being able to talk about Harry. How funny is it that lil Spring was kicking around when you were talking about him... HE/she definitely knows who their brother is! How awful about the old folks, a bit disrepectful really but what can you do - public hospital staff are extremely overworked and underpaid... how evil am I though, couldnt help but chuckle at your comment that they are probably still waiting LOL.

Lynn - YAY that AF has arrived :dance: I know it is hard and you are right it does bring up all sorts of emotions regardless of whether you think you have a chance or not... AF is a reminder of what we have lost I think. But it IS a good thing, now you can plan for next month and as you said, this will be your last month TTC! The ex would have only got our response today so we havent heard anything yet - he has a phone conf booked for 24th april so not expecting to until then. Hey, how did your meeting go? When are you going away again?

Deb - Hey all those symptoms sound promising! Do you think they could be...? I think you are very brave being able to see the babies, I cant look at babies - except my niece. Actually DH had a blood test tonight and I sat in the waiting room waiting for him and he took forever (cause he is a big girls blouse and had to lay down afterwards - MEN!) and a lady came in with an approx. 6 month old boy - he was so beautiful and kept looking at me and smiling and I just wanted to burst into tears. I managed to squeeze out a smile to him (I can hardly be mean to a baby can I?) but deep down I just wanted them to go away.

Tommysmum - I feel the same way you do about our boys - it is almost my mission in life to MAKE people understand that he was just like any other baby but he just wasnt beathing at birth. I mean, other women (many of members of BB as I have noticed) have babies earlier than 36 weeks and their babies survive and are at home with them a few days later. Anyway, I think you should be proud of your boy and show him off any way you can... except to the sausage man, he would probably just stare at you and say "que?" LOL.

Klee - :hugs: to you and Phoebe. What a beautiful thing to happen with the lily - she opened it up just for her beautiful mummy. I hope you are feeling a little better today (well as much as you can iykwim). Work is tough isnt it, I went back very early - after 4 weeks and it is really hard. I think it is very insensitive for the lady at your work to tell you about the baby who was born if she knew about Phoebe, insensitive to the point of being downright heartless! I hope you dont have to go through that insensitivity again.

Nat - Good to hear from you... school hols would have been manic for you! Hopefully you can return to the land of BB again.

Alex - Hope AF pulls her finger out... is it really that abnormal for bleeding 16dp D&C? I would have thought you would bleed for a little while cause your body has to flush and stuff - but then I might be wrong (sorry) as I havent had D&C before. Anyway, fingers crossed it all sorts out soon.

Wow Spring - you are right (as usual) - it is getting full in here and in a way it makes me a little sad cause it means there are more people going through this s***. But there is still noone from Melbourne :crying: I so wish I could come to your catch ups, I think that I relate to you girls more than I can my own friends now, afterall (unfortunately) we have alot in common. And other people just dont understand and expect us to go about day to day life as we did before. I did hear back from Sids and Kids this afternoon and they are going to get a social worker to call me. I am really looking forward to going to a meeting, to meet and interact face to face with other women who have experienced a stillbirth, meet women who actually know this is my life now and not something I will get over. I know it will be hard but I really think I can benefit from it, although I am really nervous. I dont want to go on my own and I think DH doesnt really want to go (cause he knows it will be pretty much just women so he will feel a bit out of place). I would take my mum but I dont think you are allowed to, so I will just have to get up the courage to go it alone.

In answer to the questions about TWW, nothing to report yet - no symptoms whatsoever and unfortunately I have a case of thrush (she says embarrassed) because of the antibiotics I was put on for my UTI - dont know if that can affect conception but if so I wont be getting lucky this month. Anyway, I am going to try and hold off testing until after AF is due, if she doesnt come that is (hey anyone laughing at that as much as I am?) - well I did say TRY.

Hi to Chelle, Sarah, Jo, Bailey (who has left us for the sun of Bali)... OMG I feel like I am forgetting someone - sincere apologies if I am, I dont know if I can keep up with everyone now LOL... and imagine how long my posts are going to have to be now! LMAO (much like this one really). Hey we havent heard from Mish or Tess for a while, hope they're doing ok.

Anyway, guess I better go... If I keep going, Deb might have to start ANOTHER new thread hehe.

Love to all,

Mel

Mel: Don't worry about the thrush - it won't affect conception chances to put that out of your mind. I hope it clears up soon though - it's very uncomfy... :hugs: It can be hard seeing babies - it's a constant reminder. I feel the same about pregnant bellies - I often think "how did she do that" (meaning getting so big) of course I know that's not rational it's just sometimes what goes through my mind... Symptoms - IT IS TOO EARLY! Most symptoms in the TWW are caused by the higher progesterone level of the luteal phase of your cycle. So, don't think you didn't conceive because of no symptoms. I get indigestion, constipation and tingly nipples EVERY cycle - it's the progesterone. I have learned that the only sure way to know is a positive blood test. YOu don't know how much I am hoping for you this month Mel...

Lynn: How are you feeling? Today is show bag day! You will be fine with the injections - in a few days yhou will be an old hand. The thought is unpleasant but once you get down to it it will be fine. When do you go on holidays? I am glad Sids for Kids was an experience that was helpful for you... It's hard hearing all of those personal stories on mass. I was thinking of you and Tommysmum... :hugs:

Tommysmum: So glad that the spotting has gone (I think I already have said that but I am so GLAD!).

Klee, Alex, Hindonly and anyone else I have forgotten - I will pop in later... :hugs:

Kirstee - the tests you have had done are routine ones for recurrent miscarriage so I hope you can find some more direction with the specialist. I have watched your TTC journal closely - did you get a positive blood test? You mentioned you were having it done and you weren't certain if your urine preg test was positive as the line was so feint just before your wedding. Are you seeing the fertility speciaist because you feel you have an issue or is it because of your partner? I see that your little one is only 10 months old and you had an early loss last year. It can take some time for your body to return to optimal fertility after birthing - hormone levels jumping around etc. Are you breastfeeding? As you would know breastfeeding can also hinder fertility.
HOping you get some answers and find some peace...

SpringAngel - Thanks so much for your warm welcome. Its going to be a little easier for me just coming in and trying to get to know some of the ladies here and just be there for each other... I haven't lost a child late in pregnancy and cant imagine how some of the ladies here mustbe feeling & are enduring! Biggest hugs to you all:hugs: and a late congrats on your pregnancy. Although I'm sure you are v. anxious about it too! Maybe talking to someone would be a good thing to work through the pain you are carrying. It would be so difficult:-(

Mel 1977 - We've been ttc since my daughter was 9 mths then I fell pregnant only to lose it then found out it was a molar pregnancy and to be told we had to wait possibly up to 1 yr which was really hard to hear! Since I was ready 'now' iykwim. So its really been such a long haul and to have more preg's just to keep losing them well - you all know how that feels! Hope you get your BFP!! That would be fantastic :D

Kristee - it looks like we are having the same emotional and mental anxiety:-( Sorry we're both here and for that matter - all of us! But I s'pose some women have lots of luck and never exp a mc while others get more than their share! Hope we'll be having good news to share with everyone soon-ish :-)

Lyn - I hope you stay strong for your injections! I hate needles myself they terrify me! But sometimes there are other things much stronger aren't there:-) Praying that this cycle brings you want you dream of and then some!

Flowerchild - thanks also for your welcome and I know your name is familiar to me too! Maybe it was in 1 of the preg forums Im not sure! Its been awhile since I've been in here:-(

Will catch up with every1 else soon, right now I have to get my girl ready for her morning at crazy critters! Big day for us...

BBL

Morning ladies

Mel - I am in melbourne, and have been in counselling with sids by phone and one on one meetings. i haven't been to any of the group meetings but lately have been thinking that it may help. maybe we could both make the first step and meet up there?.

hindonly and kristee - welcome. The ladies here are wonderful and such a tremendous support, you have definitely come to the right place.

Thanks again, not too thinking too much about what the lady talking about the babies said, I think maybe she just forgot (I know that’s no excuse) but I subtly mentioned Phoebe's birth weight and she said "oh", think she realised as she didn't come talk to me again for the rest of the day.

Just wanting to ask a question, which may have been asked before, but how soon after your losses did you start the TTC journey?. I know mentally (and not sure physically) I am not there yet but was just wondering.

Hi lynn, spring, deb and everyone else, will do personals to you a little later on.

Mel - you are right ( you always are! :) ) this is my month and yours.......remember we have to graduate together. You sound like me not wanting to go the Sids meeting on your own. I felt like the new girl in class LOL. It was hard but good to talk about Cooper and to share it with people that really do understand. I'm sure you will benefit from it and Klee's idea of going together sounds excellent. You can be new girls together :hug: I leave tomorrow and will be back on Wednesday night. I am so going to miss all of you girls. I don't think I will be able to post while I am away so I will have a lot of reading to do when I get back. If I have time tonight I will jump on msn and have a chat. I hope you have some good news to tell me when I get back. Actually no if you get some good news you have to ring me!!!!! I will fly straight to Melbourne and hug you!!!

Deb - how am I feeling - that is an interesting question. I'm not sure to be honest. It feels like this is happening to someone else. I was sitting there listening to the nurse and she was explaining everything and it was like I was watching her talk to someone else. I know that sounds really weird but that is what it felt like. I remember I told my counsellor that when I lost Cooper it felt like an out of body experience and she said probably that was my body's way of coping. I'm wondering if this is the same. The needle looks bigger than I thought it would!!! Aghhhh!!!! I am going to be brave and strong and do this! I have to, don't I. I start the injections on saturday so by the time I am back on Wednesday I will be able to tell you what an expert I am :D It seems to have all worked out ok as I will be back just in time for my first BT on Thursday morning. I am going to miss all your words of wisdom over the next few days. Hopefully when I get back there will be some wonderful news for you to tell me :hugs:

Klee - I think each person is different when deciding when to TTC. My ob said that as soon as I had finished bleeding (which was about 6 weeks) I could start trying. When you are ready we will all be here to support you. Maybe check with your ob on what he thinks. I think that it is a wonderful idea of you and Mel going to the Sids meeting together. I know that Mel has been looking to meet someone in Melbourne.

Bailey - you are back this weekend but I am going to miss your first post. I hope you had the most fantastic, relaxing time. Do you have any good news to share with us??????? I have missed you so much :hug: I hope that we can all get together next weekend and hear all about your trip.

Hi to everyone else.

Luv & Hugs
Lynn
xxxxxxxxxxx

Well the secret is out. After generations of secrecy, here is the recipe.........

Whole chicken or pieces

The juice of 2 lemons + 2 cut in ¼ and placed around the chicken

About 3 cloves of garlic places through out the pieces

Fresh Thyme sprigs, about half a bunch throw over the top

Olive oil enough to cover the bottom of the pan

Oh the most important bit a very good splash of white wine all over! (what ever you are drinking make it a good one)

Very important to cover the chicken in foil so no air can escape and cook slow for about 40-50 min on low then once cooked unwrap turn up the heat brown, pour a big glass of white wine (not for you UTD girls!!!!) and serve with salad and the meat should just fall off! Not sure that slow roast would work - but you could try Deb.

Enjoy!

Hi girls,
Mel thanks for the welcome. I have tried to remember positive things that happened on my wedding day but unfortunately like you said the only strong memory i have is losing my angel.
Don't worry about no-one in melbourne there is no-one from Wagga in here either although i think there is 2 maybe 3 other BB members in Wagga Wagga.
Hope the thrush is clearing up for you, no thrush can't stop conception.

Deb i ended up getting the BT done before my wedding day and were going to wait till after our mini honeymoon to find out....after it all happened i came home to an answering machine that was congratulating me and that i was indeed pregnant,made things worse IYKWIM? :(
I am seeing the FS because i believe there is something not quite right and my DH just gave me a little push to make that phonecall, so its a decision we both made.
Unfortunately i am not breast feeding as i had to stop after 5 days so i don't have the effects of BF.

Hindonly i am sorry we are both here too!! But it really does seem as if we are in the same boat with to how we are feeling at the moment.

Well this morning i have been to the doctors and got a BT form to see what things are happening. He was a bit worried about how much blood loss i had so wanted to check whether it had caused any problems and where my hormones were at. Well i am hanging up in the air until i get my results back at 4:30...just 1hr and 24mins...hey but who's counting :lol:
The doctor has told me that if everything comes back normal then i am free to ttc again whenever i feel ready.....i am not sure when that is!
Anyway Talk later

good luck with your appointment Kristee. just have to say you have a great name, sorry ladies same name as me jsut different spelling

lynn - have a wonderful and safe trip, take a bit of you time and look after yourself, look forward to having you back next week.

have a wonderful weekend ladies, i only have internet access at work so until next tuesday.

Kristee - good luck with your results this afternoon. I hope you get the ok to TTC. You will know when you ready to try and when you are, we are all here to support you :hug:

Klee - have a great weekend :hugs: