TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester April

Hi lovely ladies

Hope you all had a nice Easter. Was meaning to jump on over the break and have a chat but couldn't get on for some reason - had to re-register.

Happy birthday to all the beautiful angels looking over us. I think they are all having such a fun time and are scoffing away at the yummy easter eggs they have where they are...

I wanted some advice over the weekend - was having mixed emotions about becoming pregnant - starting to feel guilty (for Tommy) if i were to become pregnant....very emotional and was very teary.

Spring - as i was feeling these i was thinking about you - how did you feel when you became pregnant (emotionally) ?

How is everyone else feeling knowing that you are going to conceive (and you will) ???

Also, Spring -sorry to hear about your MIL. It will be her loss when your daughter (i am guessing) comes along and she will realise what a moo-moo she has been when she misses out.

Kirsty - i haven't spoken to you yet but from just reading a few posts today it seems that a big congratulations is required - CONGRATULATIONS that is very good news !!!:confetti:

Bailey - where are you ? enjoying Bali i hope ! Saw Dean this morning (just got off the plane from Indo) and he is black !!! Lucky thing.... Now have you tested again ? Also, Happy Birthday to you today ! I have some news.....but will come later..

Chelle - you mentioned that you have sore boobies and AF has not come - do a HPT !!!! After having 3 AF's in 5 weeks since losing Tommy, then nothing for 38 days now (thinking i was going in the opposite direction and not having AF for months !)- i have been thinking something is going on down there. I have had ab pains for ages, a little nausea and for the last week or so tingly boobs !!! Which brings me to some news (well not getting too excited yet).....

I did a test this morning (i swore i would hold out till easter to test as i tested 2 weeks ago and got a BFN but had a feeling something was up) and i got a :bfp: I couldn't believe it but at the same time thought there is no reason why i can't be.... I have since burst out crying feeling very scared, guilty, anxious - you name it - but i am not "happy" yet.

I am going to test in the morning again to see if i get another BFP. I have to go - am going to cry again....i just want my Tommy back.....

Sorry ladies - hello to everyone else....will talk later....

:happyforyou: Tommysmum

I am so happy for you!!!!! Congratulations on your :bfp:.

It is such an emotional time - the sadness for Tommy's passing and the excitement of this new person that is growing. Many feelings will come up - and it's confusing. Feel them when they come to you and come in to the Pregnancy thread where you will be helped along the way by women who have been on a similar journey.

Tommy's looking over you and this new baby I am sure with a big big smile and lots of sticky baby dust! :hug:

Kirsty : :happyforyou: babe, a BFP is wonderful news.. Congratulations on graduating from the TTC club. I hope you have a H&H pregnancy and that you have a wonderful little Christmas surprise.

TommysMum: Babe, what you are feeling is totally normal. The yearn for Tommy will not fade just because you have a BFP, if anything, it only gets stronger because you begin to pass the same milestones such as your first scan, and every step reminds you of your little boy. I have found it to be a time of mixed emotions. Grieving for one child whilst trying to get excited about another child is just so confusing. It will begin to sink in babe, I hope that that BFP only gets darker and darker as the days pass. In some way I found it easier to grieve for Harry once I fell pregnant, I guess I had a reason to go on, a bit dramatic I know, but I felt like I had to pull myself together for the little baby inside me. I talk to Harry every day and ask him to look out for me and his little brother/sister. I know he is taking care of me so that makes me feel safe. It will be ok honey, those feelings of guilt will fade, you are not dishonoring Tommy by having another child, he would want his mummy and daddy to be happy :hugs:

Mel: How are you feeling hun? A cold is no fun at all. I hope you are on the mend. I prescribe an insane amount of Chocolate as the cure (lol) do you think you could handle that? Best of luck for getting the loan for the house, if you could email me the plans also I would love to have a look. I find playing around with designs to be so much fun. PS, thanks for your sweet message on Friday.

Flowerchild: I am glad you had a nice break. An Easter Egg hunt.. How much fun must that have been! Having tonsillitis is no fun though, I hope you are on the mend also. Good luck with your scan tomorrow, I am sending you some huge positive :egg: vibes your way.

Lynn: How has your Easter been? I hope it has been ok. That you for your sweet text on Friday, it means a lot to me. Have you started the injections yet? I am not really sure how it all works but I know you were waiting on AF to arrive. I hope that the injections are just the thing that you need to get ovulating and that you can have your magical BFP soon.

Chelle: I agree with Tommysmum, CD 33 and No AF, test babe!!! It can't hurt. I hope you get a wonderful surprise. Kick those kids off the computer and make sure you tell us ASAP.

Bailey: I don't know if you have had a chance to log on to the net over there but if you do I just want to say that I hope you are having a sensational time. Enjoy yourself babe, you really deserve it. If AF hasn't shown up yet, then I hope you can get your hands on a dodgy barrrrrrley HPT and test. I can't wait to hear all about your honeymoon, well not ALL about it IYKWIM ;)

Nat: boy you get wifey of the year award, meringe baskets and banana cake, mmmm yum. I hope you and your DH and DS had a wonderful Easter break.

Klee: Thanks for your post about Harry's birthday, I hope you are doing ok. As I have said before, just take it day by day, moment by moment, that is all you need to worry about now.

Well after my major cyber-vent about my MIL I am feeling a bit better. Told mum about it today and she said that my MIL has psychological problems, there is a long history with my MIL that I won't bore you with, but she isn't a rational person who can be reasoned with. DH and I have agreed that she is not worth getting upset or angry about. I won't stop her from being involved in her grandchilds lifes, but I also wont be going out of my way to include her in our family. My mum and dad are such wonderful caring people, that I want my children to grow up in that sort of environment, not an emotionally charged, irrational angry environment.

I am feeling a little bit down that I haven't really felt movements yet, but with Harry it wasn't until 20 weeks that I was sure that I could feel him move. I just hope it happens earlier this time. Anyway, I have another crazy woman scan this Friday so I get to see Lil' Spring then.

I hope you are all well. I am going to stalk BB for the rest of the afternoon so hope to catch up on all you gals.

I hope Easter has been kind to you.

Big love
Spring

I'm having big BB withdrawls girls. Where are you all? Are you all recovering from your chocolate hangovers? Anyway, hope all is well.

Back to work tomorrow :( but I'll pop in when I get home.

Nighty Ni
Luv Spring

Tommysmum - congratulations! :dance: That is fantastic news. I can only imagine the feelings you have right now but I am sure they are all normal. Everything Spring and Flowerchild have said is spot on.

Flowerchild - It sounds like you had a great weekend away. Hopefully nice and relaxing so that your body is ready for the big month ahead because it is your month! I hope your scan goes well and there are lots of beautiful follies. Sending you heaps and heaps and heaps and heaps and heaps of good :egg: vibes. I hope your tonsillitits is a little better.

Spring - Wow! Where to start with your MIL. I am just so sorry that you have to deal with this. It is not something that you should have to worry about on top of grieving the loss of Harrison and growing a healthy bubba. I think Mel said it perfectly. I just can't believe that she thinks she has done nothing wrong and that not speaking to you for 6 months is ok!!!!! Unfortunately you can't pick your in-laws!
Say hi to lil Spring when you see him on Friday. Do you have the whole day off?

Nat - hope you had a good Easter weekend. No doubt you were very busy. How have you been?

Mel - hope you are feeling a little bit better today. Did you spoil yourself with chocolate??? You should, you deserve it. How did the meeting with the builder go today?

I hope everyone else had a good weekend.

Well no AF here! I know this is a TTC thread..........but I just want the witch to arrive!!!! This feels like deja vu - I was waiting for AF to arrive last month because my body did nothing. I can't start this month if she doesn't arrive. She is so annoying. Comes when we don't want her and doesn't come when we do want her :wall: It is just a waiting game. I am getting a bit frustrated to be honest. I just hope that this month works because I haven't even started the injections but I don't want to be doing it for month after month. I think I am doing as much as I can - I have the moonstone and rose quartz under my pillow (thanks Deb) and I have another rose quartz on my bedside table with a beautiful pair of booties (thanks Michelle) and some babydust (not sure where that came from!) and I'm doing acupuncture and meds................if there is anything else I should be doing, please let me know! (besides being put in a straight jacket LOL!!) Obviously a lot of this when the time is right :bd: (gotta love it - haven't used it in a while!) I just need to be really positive that my body will finally do what it is supposed to do and that it responds well to the injections.

Hi Girls,

Tommysmum - CONGRATULATIONS!!!! :confetti: I am sure what you are feeling is pretty normal, but Spring is right - Tommy would want his mummy and daddy to be happy and he will know that this is the only way happiness can even begin to return to your lives.

Spring - I am feeling a little better today, and yes I have eaten an unbelievable amount of choccie - I feel a little sick now :redface: Good decision about your MIL, it is hard to stop contact as I guess she is your childrens family but definitely let her do the hard work. Dont worry about feeling a little down, that last few days have been full on with worry and I am sure Harry's 6 month birthday has left you a little worse for wear. You will start feeling lil Spring soon, although it wont take your worries away (if anything maybe make you stress more - mind you isnt that what motherhood is anyway - worrying?) it will be another step closer to meeting your bub in person, I cannot believe how time is flying. My life seems to be dragging severely but everytime I look at your ticker I realise its flying by. I will email you the plans of the house by the way.

Lynn - Went ok at the builder, my Mum came with us to have a look at the house and she thought it was beautiful. They gave us costs and said their promotions change all the time so it may vary slightly when we sign up so we asked her to give us the absolute maximum price we would be looking at with all of the inclusion we want and we were reasonably happy. The lady said they cant put any paperwork through until the land is titled and because DHs work hasnt finished designing it as yet it could be a few months but that is ok we can wait. Now all we need is to meet with the guy who owns all the land (a "friend" of DHs boss) and try to work out a price for our block, although they have our chosen one on hold for us until we make a decision. Did you end up being able to view the house in the end? I know when we chatted the other night you said you couldnt view it but I cant remember if you ended up seeing it or not - my mind is awful huh! I am sorry that AF hasnt shown as yet, I am sure she will soon but I can imagine how frustrating it is. Do you have any symptoms that give you a feeling she may be on her way? Any bloating or anything? It is so true that when we dont want her she rears her ugly head but when we do she takes her jolly old time... B!#@H!

Deb - So glad to hear you had a great weekend and a lovely easter. I love an easter egg hunt, usually there are no eggs for me though which makes me sad but it is funny watching how excited kids get. Last year my nephew did one at my parents house and he had this bob the builder tin and he would find the eggs and put them in and when he wasnt looking one of us would take a few out and put them around the backyard again, he got so excited when he found more and had no idea what we were doing - it was the longest easter hunt ever but so much fun. Good luck for your follie scan, let us know how you go. I hope you see some beauties!

Chelle - How are you going? Have you tested?

Bailey - Hope you are having a ball and relaxing in the sun. Same question for you - have you tested?

Hi to everyone else.

Well not much to report for me, but was reading through the threads and found one on something called Ovulex which is for female infertility - but I was googling (as you do :rolleyes:) and found a remedy called Amberoz which is apparently for male infertility. Does anyone know anything about this? Deb thought you might have some info. It says it increases male fertility and sperm count, well DH doesnt have a low sperm count but poor quality sperm so I was wondering if anyone know if this would help make his swimmers more healthy? God, since we got those results I spend every night online trying to do research, I am such a nutcase.

Oh well, post is long enough so I'll be off now :D

Mel

You are not a nutcase Mel! You are focussed. ;) I haven't heard of that supplement for males - however there are some good ones. It is worthwhile popping into a healthfood store and asking. Usually they have a combo of herbs and minerals. Zinc is a big one and horny something or other (yes it is horny goat weed or something I am not kidding!)
The house is exciting!

Lynn: You are doing it all my love and that baby is not far away - keep believing and keep positive. Visualise that positive preg test - even get one and draw a positive mark on it and keep it. The power of positiviity is far reaching. Act as though it has already happened. This is your month too okay!!! I hope your period hurries itself along. Are you beginning your injections from cd2? I am assuming so. Usually with the fsh you will ovulate pretty well on cd14 so that's an exciting thought!

Spring: We can't have you having BB withdrawls!!!! I understand about the movements. You may feel Lil Spring a bit earlier than Harry but not necessarily. Do yo know if your placenta is anterior or posterior? An anterior placenta (at the front) will often delay detectable movements as the placenta acts as a cushion. Remember it is usual and normal to not detect movement before 22 weeks. So try to remind yourself of that when you feel down. Sending you a big hug :hug: this Friday you will see Lil Spring bouncing around in there beautifully.

Tommysmum I hope you are feeling a little better today and that soon you will begin to feel the joy of this new little one. :hugs:

Nat, Klee, Chelle and everyone else big hellos!!!

Today is FOLLIE SCAN DAY - da da!!!!! I am excited and nervous too! I have that full feeling that I have had before with clomid prior to ovulation. I am hoping for a good result. I will let you all know this afternoon! :hug:

Goodluck on the follie scan Deb, I can just see lovely big ones in there ready to go, go go!!!
Oh Mel, you are not a nutcase, just like me always checking things out to see whats what! I think you have to, as it keeps us busy and we need to be busy.
Lynn, she is such a cow, I hope she turns up very soon for you. Im praying for big Af vibes to come your way. Now that sounds really silly but you know WHAT I mean.Come on AF...

Springangel, you will feel your lil spring very soon Im sure, wow, on the MIL front. I think all the best advice has been given, and I hope you realise you have done everything possible there.My hat is off to you. You def dont need to be putting all your energy into her. Just how selfish can one person be...you take care of yourself and your bundle and of course DH. Hes been a real jem with it all.
Well as for me, I finally tested cd35 and a BFP! I just still feel like AF gunna visit, so Im so negative about the whole thing, and I just want to be excited... Im finding it real hard to not just want to cry and I cant shake that I will bleed or If I dont the scan will show nothing when the time comes, if it gets that far....I hate feeling like this. Poor Dh dusnt know what to say... How on earth do I get into a positive frame of mind when I dont know where to start!
Im so sorry for my selfish rant, but I have got it really bad with this positive news.I dont think I was thisnegative back in December, I think I was more positive...aarghhh. My Doc is away till next week and I know the only way to get over this bump is probably with a HCG, but then there is the waiting for that....Im sure I just need to go on a long bike ride with the kids, and clear my head and let the positive back in! Im am truly greatful for this BFP, dont get me wrong, but after so much heartache, its very hard...not like me at all..
Big Hi to everyone else, I hope day is treating you well. Take care

hi ladies, will do personals after i have a catch up later in day.

just had to have a bit of a vent or I guess a confession, last week was quite an emotionally charged one, not so much the tears but other emotions. I'm not usually one for confrontations or aggression but I had a go at my mother, which I feel terrible about, but the worst one was I gave my 3 year old nephew a push, it wasn't a big one, but one nonetheless. I feel dreadfully awful about it, I told my sister and she was okay about it, but I still can't help but feel guilty about it. He has such a connection with Phoebe its almost eerie.

My life is just going so crazy at the moment, both good and bad (i will update you soon), and I just feel its going to hit a big crescendo soon. It kind of scares me.

Who would have known one person could feel so many emotions at once.

sorry one last bit, to resolve part of it, and as much as it hurts me to do so, I am going to take myself out of the situation, away from my nieces and nephews for a little while, just until I regain my sense and feel comfortable within myself that nothing like that will happen again.

Oh WOW Chelle!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :happyforyou: for your :bfp:!!!!!!!!!!!

It is truly normal to feel like you do - you have had so much heartache it is hard to sometimes believe that good things are coming. This is a good thing! There is another new life growing inside you. Go on that bike ride and clear your head and keep coming in here and let us all support your journey. :hug:

Hey all,

Wow you ladies can talk! LOL! I can't keep up!

Well no sign of AF turning up yet, but then it's not due for 2 days yet. Just my luck it will turn up tomorrow, which will be 3 months since we lost Storm, That will probably make me feel worse!

Hope everyone else is well!

Chelle - can we say 'I told you so' :confetti: Congratulations!!!! I am sure what you are feeling is completely normal. I wish you the H&H pregnancy.

Jo - I hope that you get your BFP too! Wow that would be 4 this month! Go girls!
I will be thinking of you and Storm tomorrow. What a beautiful name. I don't think you have told us her name before. I shall light a candle for your angel tomorrow :hug:

Klee - I have been thinking about you. How are you going babe? There are many stages of grief and I think you are going through the angry stage. I went through it about the same time that you are now. I was angry at everyone and anything they said to me was wrong. I was angry at the world because it took my baby and because it just wasnt' fair. Be kind to yourself. I'm sure you mum and sister will be understanding of what you are going through :hugs:

Deb - how did it go???????? I have been coming in and checking on you but nothing so far. I hope it all went well. Thinking of you :hug:

Mel - welcome to the 'nutcase family'!!!! LOL. No you are not a nutcase, you are just like the rest of us - trying to reach our dream. And you will get there babe, very soon. Just stay positive and believe and it will happen. I am always on the internet looking into things. I think it is good to know yourself what is going on and what you can do to help. I found the drug used to bring on AF on the internet before I even saw my FS so when he prescribed it, I knew he knew what he was talking about. Of course he should, he is a specialist, but it is good to keep them on their toes.
How exciting about your house! No the plans never came through on the email. Can you send to me again please. I would love to see them. Is the block of land near where you live now?
I thought I had some symptons but it is just my body playing tricks with me. I sit there every night saying to DH I have cramps and then I go to the loo and start cursing because it is nothing!!!!!

Hi to everyone else!

Afternoon All,

I cant keep up with all the talk in here but Im going to post and try and catch up on whats been going on in here!

Deb I can see you are on is there any news on those little girls behaving the right way?

OK not sure who I have sent big congrates to on ALL the BFP in here at the moment so here go! :happyforyou: To Chelle, Kirsty and Tommysmum way to go on the BFP "You Go Girls" its is so great to see it happening :happyforyou: Now you all need to send some of that babydust to Lynn, Mel & Deb.

Chelle It is so normal to feel the way you are. You try to find something positive but want to protect yourself at the same time from any more hurt or pain. I hope we can help you in here find your way through till that baby is crying in your arms.

OK you can call me blonde I hit post :doh: So I will carry on from here, this is what happens when you have to get up and get more food.....not for me the boys here!

Lynn You and I have posted at the same time so what is going on? Did you take the stuff to bring on Af? Im goin to send babydust and prays your way for next month NOW!!! How was your easter?

Spring I need to read through your MIL "nutcase" post but can I say she sounds pretty up for the B%$#H of the year award! And as for the desserts over easter they were the best if I say so myself :rolleyes: picture this well desprate housewifes......just call me Bree, the table, flowers, cooking I went totaly overboard mind you just to show up SIL and get the DIL of the year award!!!!

Mel Your house plans sound like they are under way and sound great, I love building....and you girls think your mad!!!

My door bell has just rang and my girlfriend is here to pick up her son so I will be back tonight, catch up on all posts and get back to you girls.

I hope you are all good talk soon but pleaaase dont talk to much as I have enough to catch up on!!!!!

Luv Natxxx

Awww thanks Lynn and Nat for checking on me :)

Well I had a fantastic u/sound!!!!!! I have 2 follies on my left ovary measuring 22mms and 21mms and a third on my right ovary measuring 19mms (and another at 14.5mms - this one we don't expect is going to go anywhere as it's lagging behind the others.)

Follicles usually erupt anywhere from about 18mm upward. Going by the size and my past history I am assuming I will ovulate around Thursday or Friday. In the past I haven't had such large follies at cd12 so my response to the increase in clomid has been great. Last cd12 follie u/s showed follies of around 11 and 14cms so this is looking great this time! I just might ovulate on that magic cd14 this month hey!!!!!! WOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! The plan is if I don't get a positive opk by Thursday afternoon I will have another u/sound on Friday and probably a trigger shot. This is to make sure that that 14.5cm follie hasn't had a growth spurt! The chances of three follicles containing 3 viable eggs at my age are quite low so we are going to go for it! Of course there is that little fear that what if I get triplets but I have been assured by literature and opinion that it is unlikely. As you all know twins would be just so wonderful, but an added risk to an already risky pregnancy. However, if there are two healthy eggs there that are fertilised then I will be a very happy Mama indeed! So send all your :fertilise: vibes this way for the next few days!!!! I am so excited that the increase in clomid worked out. I was quite concerned that it wouldn't. My endometrium is looking wonderful at 9mms also which is all good. As you clomid ladies will know the endometrium can be thinned by the drug and this is a side effect that decreases pregnancy rate. Anything above about 6cms is optimal for conception.
Now, I just have to pee on sticks until I get that positive and then get jiggy with it!!!!!

Thankyou again for thinking of me - it's so nice to be able to share with women who truly understand. Now, some of that :bluedust: for all of us that need a :bfp: this month. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all graduate by the end of this month!!!!?????

Message for Lynn's period - It's time for you to show your face so LYNN can begin the next part of the journey to a :bfp: by the months end!

O Deb, thats fantastic news, what great big lovely waiting to be caught follies!! I would so love twins too....Your body has behaved so well, now for the fun part... bring on wed/thursday

Lol nat, dont you hate it wen that happens!!.. nice to see you again

Yes big vibes to you Lynn, come on AF!!
Hey hey to everyone else, thankyou for giving me the support I so needed, It put a huge smile on my dial, and a tear down my cheek. I think we are all seriously very lucky woman to have this little corner, I dont talk to anyone at this stage as its way to early, and it fells like my world is in slow motion...very slow!!

take care, must go, have a bum to wipe...hehehehe

Deb - LMAO at your post to my period! :lol: I cried but it was a happy cry. Thank you I needed it after today (not a good day today in Lynnland).
I am soooooooooooooooooo excited that your follies are doing what they should be doing! They are nice and big which is excellent! I didn't know that the endometrium can be thinned on Clomid. Mine was 9.8mm last cycle which I was told was great, so you have just confirmed that - thanks! Pity about the stupid follies not doing anything. I am sending you so many :fertilise: vibes that they could fill your house!! Now go and pee on those sticks and get busy girl :bd: And send me some *big, ripe follies* vibes.

Nat - yeah I have taken the pill to bring on AF - not much good it is doing at the moment :angry: I am told that it should arrive within a week after the last pill - well the witch has 2 days to get her ar%e here!! I don't think I have ever hated someone as much as I hate the witch. She just annoys me sooooooooooo much!!!

Oh BTW I get the nutcase award for this month - AF hadn't arrived this morning but I thought I was having cramps and then I thought my (.)(.) were sore so I did a HPT. I so knew it was going to be negative but I have so many of them and didn't get to use them this cycle so I thought why not use one. As if I was going to get a positive - I didn't even o this month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Send the straight jacket to my place....................

Hey my sweetie-pies

Well I have had an insane day at work. S@#t hit the fan and I have been dealing with lawyers from all levels of government all day. Only just got home and I haven't even had a shower yet, had to chat to my girls first. I told my boss that I was going to quit and become a hairdresser, luckily he has a good sense of humour and I am still employed (lol) so just excuse me if my posts make no sense, someone has stolen my brain today.

Chelle: :confetti: a BFP is awesome news. I know what it feels like when something is too good to be true, but a line is a line. Test tomorrow and see if it is getting stronger. Sounds like it is time to book in with your doctor babe. How exciting.

Lynn: Come on Lynn's AF, you can do it. Deb sounds like a period cheerleader, I was LMAO when I read her post. But on a serious note, I hope the cow rears her head soon and that you can start those injections. Oh BTW, I think we should see if we can get a buy in bulk and save deal on straight jackets.

Deb: :happyforyou: with your scan. That is wonderful news that your girls are responding to the increased dose of clomid. I hope so badly that you graduate this month. You may even be the first to graduate with twins :crossfingers: go get your groove on girl.

Mel: Hey babe, that is great news about the house. With the fees, they usually increase on a quarterly basis, but there is nothing to stop you asking them to guarantee the fees for say the next 3 months. It is worth a try. They may require you to pay a small deposit, but you can make it conditional upon you getting the loan and land title. So if the deal falls through you get your deposit back. Worth looking into, it would depend on the builder. It may just save you a few grand. Love to see the plans when you get a chance to send them.

Nat: LMAO about my MIL getting the B&#%H of the year award. I might do her up a certificate and send it to her on mothers day. Only kidding, that is just nasty but I think that I am allowed to be a bit nasty for once. How are you going today, I love the Bree image, I used to love entertaining, hopefully I will again one day. I think the table cloth and flowers stand you in great stead for the DIL of the century award.

JLK: I am thinking of you and your dear sweet angel Storm tomorrow. Take care of yourself honey. We are all here for you.

Klee: Swings in mood is such a common thing. I know I am continually saying that what you are going through is normal, but you should have heard about some of the absolute dramas I got myself into in the first few months. If you have read about my MIL you will see that it is still happening. I think the best way I can explain it is that my threashold for stress is now almost non-existant. I am sure your mum and your sister will understand why you are being a bit angrier than usual. Just tell them that you love them and then forgive youself. I want to reach out and give you a big cuddle. You will be ok babe, keep posting because it is nice to hear from you and we all want to help take care of you.

To everyone else, big love. I am on the count down for my 19 week scan. It is on Tuesday the 24 so 2 weeks today. It is a major milestone for me. That is when we found out that Harry wasn't well and I had an amniocentesis. Although I hate being so busy at work, it means that my mind doesn't get a chance to wander so much. I am with you Deb, the power of positive thought is not to be underestimated so I am repeating to myself that Lil' Spring will be great and that I will birth an earth child.

Oh well, time for a shower and I'll see if I can pop in before bedtime.

Big love
Spring

Hey there girls!

Chelle - I knew it!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS - I understand you are scared, I am sure that the initial joy of the BFP quickly turns into fear and worry but still allow yourself to enjoy the miracle that is happening.

Deb - Thats fantastic you had such a great ultrasound, I am sending as many :fertilise: vibes as I can and with results like that surely we will be getting some good news from you in a couple of weeks time. I agree with you on the twins, I think it would be wonderful.

Lynn - I am sorry you arent having a good day, I cant imagine how frustrating it is that AF is behaving like this. I know how frustrated I am let alone putting up with that as well. If you need to vent you know where I am and your call is welcome anytime you need to chat :hug:

Jo - :hugs: to you for Storm's 3 month birthday tomorrow. You will be in my thoughts.

Klee - Dont be too hard on yourself about your nephew, he is so young he wont even realise what happened. I think it is totally normal that you react in ways you usually wouldnt. I have 3 stepchildren and to be perfectly honest I was starting to be really mean to them, especially the youngest one, until my sister sat me down and told me that I need to change because it is not their fault. You wouldnt believe the things I have said and thoughts I have had, but we are hurting so much and I think we need to be forgiven for mistakes we make.

Nat - Thanks for the babydust, I will definitely need it. Hoping you are well, and enjoying your holidays with DS.

Well as for me the only thing I have to say is that I have decided we are going to DTD every second night until O time which is meant to be Saturday and possibly do it every night from Friday to Tuesday and then every second night again for another few days. Do you guys think that is enough to get UTD? Sorry I know this is really TMI but I really want (and need) to get it right this month. Does anyone think there is any benefit in doing it like morning and night? I would be so over sex by the end but if it got me pregnant I would do whatever it takes. BTW I spoke about this to DH, needless to say he is in his element :rolleyes: Oh and also does anyone know if you can do it "too much" during O time? I just keep wondering if maybe we are doing not enough or too much iykwim.

Anyway, have a good night.

Mel

P.S. Spring and Lynn I am just about to send you guys an email now about the house.

Hey Spring,

I missed your post until after I posted. WOW I cannot believe your 19 week scan is so close... lil Spring is gonna be just fine, I can understand you are worried but honestly I think there is nothing to be concerned about HE/she is growing beautifully and will continue to do so until you are changing pooey nappies and wiping chuck up from your shoulder :dance:

Love Mel

Hey Mel: I could be wrong, but I think it is possible to DTD too much (sorry DH). I think that the sperm needs time to regenerate and that if you DTD too often, it affects the quality or concentration. I could be completely off the track with this one, perhaps someone like Deb or Nat might be able to shed some light on it.

Luv Spring

Thanks Spring, yeah I had a feeling that was the case too... but what is considered too much or too little? I just want to do exactly the right thing. I was wrong by the way I think I am due to O on Sunday. The O calculator tells me we should start DTD on Friday through to mid week the following week but yet I remember when I was at the dr (you know the one who was giving me tips on positions :redface:) he told me we should NOT DTD for a couple of days before my O day for the same reason as you just said. How do we know the right thing to do? Especially when the results show DH has 90% poor quality sperm, how do we get it right? Aaaaargh :wall:

Hey Mel, I think you only need to DTD every second day. Are you charting? Do you know when you def are ovulating?

Can you ring the people who tested the sperm and ask them given DH's results, what would be the best time to DTD? It may be a case for some people it should be as much as possible and for other people it should be every 2nd day.

It is hard to know, but I don't think doing it morning and night would be necessary and may be counter productive.

But then again I have no idea really and I am just going on what I have read previously.

Lv Spring

Nighty ni girls.

Just checked the time and it is getting to be past my bedtime for a school night (lol)

Talk tomorrow :bedtime:

Sweet dreams,
Luv Spring

I am not sure if they know, I guess I could ring my OB and ask his advice - not that he is a sexual councellor or anything - the other thing I read is that tests can vary on different occasions and I really think it would be worth getting DH to do another sample to confirm that the results were correct but he says it was bad enough doing it the first time he is not doing it again... Men can be such babies sometimes!

But anyway, I might give OB a call on my lunch break one day this week. I wish I could stop stressing about this but its practically impossible.

Oh and no I am not charting, I dont really know how to except with OPKs and I dont have any left and didnt buy any. I guess I could always buy some from supermarket unless you have any other ideas.

Thanks girls :)

Hey mel, yep I agree with the others, every second day is enough, but I always make sure when I get my POPK, I do it that day regardless if I did it the day B4... I normally O on day14, I actually start cd12 and every 2nd day till at least 18. My specialist said every2nd day, and if I o'd cd14,do it 12,14,16...if I O'd 16, do it 14,16,18 etc...I was like is that it??? he said yes, no need for any more... Goodluck for that BFP..

Hope everyone else is doing ok. Im alittle better. Im in a positive head space of enjoy it,its destiny. You wouldnt believe my due date same as master 3yr old birthday, 12 Dec !! hope this is a positive sign..I lost a most precious angel that was due 4th dec 2 yrs ago, Its like it has come around full swing with alot of angels in between. I hope the big boss from upstairs dusnt want anymore.
Take care everyone,big day ahead, have to finish painting our big huge fence!! lucky its the holidays, should get plenty of helpers..

Hi all!

Chelle - Huge Congrats on the BFP:happyforyou:

Lynne - My angels name is Storm Piper, I didn't realise I hadn't told you all her name:doh:

well today is Storms 3 month birhtday, it so feels like it was just yesterday.
I think I might wander down to the cemetary with some flowers!

Jo - Big :hugs: to you today for Storm's birthday. That is a beautiful idea to take some flowers to the cemetary for her. I hope you get through the day as ok as possible.

Chelle - I am so glad you are feeling better today, enjoy growing your bubba you deserve to :) I might follow your drs advice and go with the every 2nd day, I guess especially if DH has 90% poor quality we want to save the good quality ones up.

I did tell DH we would take the pressure off this month pretty much to make him feel a bit better about the results cause he is obviously feeling a little down about it and also cause I am not overly confident this month, but I mentioned to him last night I would like to buy some OPKs from supermarket and not be too strict on DTD this month except for the day I O, and he said that isnt taking the pressure off so he thinks we should just leave it to chance. But I was thinking maybe I will get them anyway and maybe not tell him - does anyone think that is really wrong? Like I dont want to lie to him so if it is classed as lying I dont think I could do it. If it was a case of what he doesnt know wont hurt him then it would be ok iykwim. I also mentioned that it might be worth having another SA done and he wasnt keen so he said check what the OB thinks and if he thinks we should he will but otherwise no he is not gonna do it just for the hell of it (I cant really argue with that can I). But I think he is keen to wait until we see the FS on 15th May until we do anymore tests and things cause he says it is only 1 more month and basically see how we go this month and start taking action after that appointment. What do you girls think? Do you think he is right and just to ride it out until May?

Anyway, I guess you will have noticed I am not at work... I went to dr this morning cause I have UTI - so now I am on antibiotics and going to the toilet every 5 mins to do nothing but a trickle :rolleyes: She said that I probably have it because I am a bit run down, the cold I just had being proof of that. But oh well I will live, and I should start feeling a bit better by the end of tonight and I will be back at work tomorrow.

Lynn - I hope you are feeling a bit better today :hug:

Oh well dont know if anyone will be around today, if not have a lovely day.

Love Mel

P.S. Can any of you girls recommend a good OPK that you can get from the supermarket? Hopefully one that will give me a positive on the actual day I O although I am not sure if that is possible. The only ones I have ever used are the ones from the website Spring recommended to me ages ago but if I order those now I wont get them in time. Basically I just want something reliable. Thanks :)

Mel, thats a hard one. I have written three post to you now, but they all sounded corny. Getting a POPK and not doing it can be very tortureous!! I know I have been down the road of doing them and not telling.. and then DH saying Im too tired lets just do it 2morw, but ME knowing havn just got the POPK that it would be maybe too late!!! I would get so worked up I couldnt stand being around myself.Just made things worse. Sometimes its better to both go with the flow, or both be involved IYKWIM.
Take care, you will know what is best for you...

Happy Happy 3month Birthday Storm Piper. May you shine down on your family today and give them that 'warm fuzzies hug'!! Take care today jo .Big hugs x0x0x0x

Hi Gorgeous women!

Happy 3 month birthday Storm Piper - watch over your Mama and Daddy today as they will need your special Angel kisses today... :hugs:

Thinking of you so very much today Jo - sending you lots of love and strength... :hugs:

Mel: mmm the opk debate... Well, for me, my husband as you know has agreed to TTC another baby, however if he has to perform on a particular day he finds it very off putting. I don't tell him - he knows approx when I will ovulate of course but I don't put the pressure on with okay it's tonight! Everyone is different and you need to do what you feel comfy with. Personally I don't think it's an issue if you are both actively ttc - sure he doesn't want to be under pressure but it's helpful to know when the optimal time is to give you the best chance of conception. OPK's will help with that. If you order from Lullaby Conceptions - you can phone up and you will have the tests the very next day. It is a wonderful service and as I said you just have to ask for express post and you will have them the next working day (tomorrow!). They are by far the cheapest and I think they are great.
As for when to DTD... If your partner has a sperm count issue every second day is best. Optimally you need to DTD when you get a positive opk. MOST women will ovulate within 12-24 hours of receiving a positive opk. So DTD the night you get your positive - this will put that sperm up there and waiting for action as soon as that follie bursts forth with a healthy egg! Do it again the next night and an extra one for insurance. Many FS will say every second night is fine - this is what I would do if I were you. Afterward stay lying down for the rest of the night if possible with your hips slightly raised to give the sperm a bit of extra help getting up through your cervix! It is also thought that if a woman orgasms this helps to get the sperm up through the cervix more effectively as well... ;) I hope you catch that egg this month my love.

Lynn: How are you? Any sight of your period yet??? It must be here soon I just hope it's today so you can begin your treatment soon... :hug:

Spring, Chelle, Nat, Tommysmum and anyone else I have left out I will be back in later...

Hi ladies, thanks again, you are all such wonderful women, thank you for supporting me

Jo - Happy 3month Birthday Storm Piper. Thinking of you today.
Chelle – congratulations on BFP. Your spirit to keep on going is amazing, good luck.
Spring – am in agreeance with chelle, pour all that energy into looking after yourself, if MIL can't see the rainbow through the clouds she's not worth worrying about, at least until after lil spring arrives.
Deb – such wonderful news, will be thinking of you and your follies lol.

Hi to everyone else.

lynn - am praying witchy witch comes for you. thinking of you

Jo - thinking of you and your precious sweet angel, Storm Piper. Happy 3 months birthday Storm. May you watch over your mummy and family. I shall light a candle tonight and watch it flicker as I think of your angel :hug:

Mel - i hope you are feeling ok. Big :hugs: to you babe. I agree with Deb - order the lullaby OPK's today so you get them tomorrow. They did work for me (when I ovulated!!!). I think that these might help you because you might not be ovulating when you think you are iykwim. The supermarket ones are so expensive so I would steer clear of them. The only other thing to do is take your temps. You can buy a thermometer from a chemist or lullaby conceptions might sell them. This way you will know if you have ovulated because your temps rise after ovulation. I think if you use both you will have a better chance of catching the eggies. Check out fertilityfriend website. They have heaps of info on charting. I know what you are like Mel and I know if you don't give it a shot this month, you will be wondering was that the month. I think that you should give it everything you have and if it doesn't happen then you can still meet with the FS and work out a plan. And remember you need to be positive, I believe that this helps.

Deb - no, nothing yet :angry: I am going to call my FS tomorrow is she hasn't arrived.

Klee - thanks babe. Sometimes I don't understand the human body! Hope you are doing ok today :hug:

Hi everyone

Well had a bad night sleep last night (really **** actually) and then finally dosed off for a deep sleep and dreamt that i was miscarrying (touch wood) - i woke up in a fright and it was time to get up - what a great way to dream...i am sure they will turn into pleasant ones sure enough.

Chelle - i knew you were preggers as i had the exact same symptoms - congratulations !!! I am still getting ab pains (feels like my period is coming) the same as you - so i am sure this is normal. I can't remember with my previous pg's if this was the case (must have pregnancy brain already) ! I booked into my ob yesterday (have been thru midwives twice now but going with ob instead in the future) and i have my first scan in a couple of weeks already. Am due on 7th Dec.

Mel - I have never used an OPK before - instead i have used a pregnancy calculator "wheel" which you turn to suit certain dates (eg: date of LMP, then it shows you when you are most likely to ovulate and your EDD etc). I have fallen pg 3 times using this wheel and have fallen on the first month of using it !!! I swear by it (a friend gave it to me and she fell first go too). The calcuations basically show Day 1 as your period and Day 14-17 are ovulation days, however i have another calendar which shows it until day 21. So basically i make sure i am covered between 14-21 days. Have sex even on day 12 (as i believe sperm lasts for 3 days - is this right ???) so you don't have to go hard at it and then perhaps every 2-3 days. I think going every day is not good as the others have said - you can overdo it and the quality of sperm may not be that good. Also, i have been told to hold off on the drinking (even the men !). And most of all relax and don't panic.

I am definitely sending babydust to you, Lynn, Deb and everyone else that wants it !

Lynn - please relax - your body doesn't need any extra stress. I know it is hard but i think this is a "game of patience" which really sucks doesn't it. It will happen for you very soon i know it will. I attend the SIDS and KIDS support group sessions and there is a lady there who can't get her periods right to start conceiving again ...you can see the stress and anger in her. The counsellor there suggested that we all relax our bodies to focus on conceiving. I totally agree.

Klee - sorry about your angel Phoebe. Anger is just one sign of grief (as we have all experienced)- you obviously needed to vent it and it was just taken out then and there. Don't worry about it - you have enough on your plate. I am quite a calm (well i can be a ***** when i want to be) and happy person and i don't let many things get to me - always brush them aside. But when we lost our son it was a real test for me. I blew my temper - went totally off - towards (but not directly) to my MIL and DH. My husband said "what was wrong with you ?" and i said "what do think is wrong - we just lost our baby a few days ago - i need some space". I snapped myself out of it pretty quick and just got back on track to some sort of normality. We went away for a few days to get away from EVERYONE and that was fantastic....a good time to cry, reminisce of what could have been and just had some breathing space. I still get ****ed off with the world and think why did this happen (and think that our baby (like many others) could have been saved and it shouldn't be this way) but i just keep drumming in my head that these things happen and it has happenned to us.

Deb - hope you have some fantastic and positive news on the follie scan. I am sure you will. Good luck.

Flowerchild - did you have a scan too ? How did you go ?

Just got a text from Bailey in Bali...she doesn't want to come back (i suggested she extend her trip - why not !). She tested but BFN and it is day 36 and still no AF - so fingers crossed !!!

Hello to everyone else - hope everyone is doing fine and getting over their chocolate overdose ! Very chatty here i must say and it is very hard to catch up with everyone.

Deb - I have some questions for you and I just didn't know where to post. I just don't know where I belong at the moment, I feel torn - grieving and TTC after a Stillbirth but TTC with assistance. I am hoping that you can help. I didn't respond to Clomid 50 this time around. Why am I going to straight to IUI/FSH inj. I asked my FS about increasing Clomid and he said that the risks are higher on Clomid and that I have a better chance on IUI/FSH. When I look in other threads people are falling pg when they increase their Clomid. I can't seem to find anyone that is on IUI/FSH inj. I seem to think that I am not going to fall pg at the moment because I am grieving so much lately, but I don't know if I am grieving the loss of Cooper so much at the moment because I am struggling to fall pg and so it makes the pain of losing Cooper so much more. I'm sorry none of this makes sense. I just can't see the light. I can't relax because I am stressing over everything. I now have the biggest headache from crying so much and the pain of all of this just hurts so much. I just feel like I am in a vicious cycle - grieving, TTC, trying to relax, trying to be positve, grieving, frustrated, TTC!!!!!! How much can one person take?