Can one person manage two newborns at dinner/bath/etc time?
So it only just occurred to me today, that there are going to be nights where DH is going to have guard duty (36hr shift essentially) and I'm going to be stuck caring for two babies at the time of day we would all be used to Daddy being home to help out.
They're only supposed to have a handful of these shifts a year, but DH has been slammed with 15 already so far (they get told they should only get 1 every 2 months or so). They usually only get a week or two's notice, but lately its been a bit "Oh by the way you have guard Wednesday" and it will be Monday, and then they turn around and change it to another day on Wednesday morning.
So I'm just wondering, is it possible for one person to cope at that time of day? Does it put the kids off their routine too much? Should I be prepared to hire a helper for a couple of hours on those nights?
I worked in childcare. I know its not nearly the same, but you'll be amazed how well you manage to create a 'production line'! The ratio was 5 children aged 0-2yrs per caregiver. There were times where i would have 3 or 4 all being fed at once and it may seem daunting but you work out the kinks of how best to go about it. My suggestion would be not to wait until DH isnt there but to practice in advance. That way when the time comes where you are on your own, you already have some of the kinks worked out which makes it less frustrating for you and children.
A friend from mothers group followed the routines in the Tizzie Hall book, Save Our Sleep. The way the bedtime routine for twins sets out the logistics of the evening makes it easy for her to do on her own. You might not be into the ethos behind the book but can't hurt to have a sticky beak next time you are in a bookshop.
I can certainly see why you are feeling daunted i'm feeling daunted by the thought of having a newborn and a nearly three yr old that runs amock most of the time.
I think we learn to cope with what ever comes our way and yes it will probably be stressful but on a night like that i would probably make sure i had a meal in the freezer that i could quickly heat,eat and devour without having to slave over the kitchen stove for the night. That way your babies will have you solely and you will find what works for you
They definiately can - I am dealing with this at the moment . DH is a builder and from day to day I never know where he will be working and what time he will get home. I won't lie - some nights it is crazy, and I fully expect to open the door to the police one day checking on the screaming coming from our place. There is a few different ways you can cope with the bathtime routine - some twin mums suggest giving baths on alternate nights as newborns don't need to be bathed every night, so you are only dealing with one baby at a time. Or giving baths during the day when the babies are happier, then working up to the bath then bed routine when they are a little older.
I'll just let you know what works for us, although everyone is different. Firstly, it helps to be super organised. Make sure you have towels, clothes, face washers all layed out. I also have a box with nappies, wipes etc that gets carted around the house depending on what room we are in. My girls get bathed every night because they are massive spewers and its the only way to effectively clean them properly - vomit in their ears etc (I'm not making this sound too good am I? Sorry!)
If it is a unsettled night, I will bath one of the girls in the baby bath on the kitchen bench with the other one in the bouncer close by. It generally means quick baths for both with lots of crying but it's all over and done pretty quickly. If its a happier night, then one bub will go down on the floor in front of the heater and have a bit of nudie time while I bath the other girl in our big bath with their older brother. Once the first bath is finished then I will dry DD1 and she will go on the floor for nudie time, and DD2 will go in the bath. I have everything layed out and within arms reach, including all of DS's pj's etc. Now that the girls are a little bigger I am thinking of getting a bath seat for them just to make it a little easier for my back.
There is probably heaps of different ways it can be done and I am sure some of the other twin mums will pop in with advice. To begin with, it was slightly crazy here. The girls hated their baths and there was lots of crying etc. But now they are starting to love them and love having a kick around inthe bath, especially if their big brother is in there with them.
In regards to hiring a helper - we have a 17year old neighbour and she will pop in some nights, even if it's just for half an hour and it truly is a godsend. She will cuddle one or entertain DS and it takes some of the pressure off. We dont have family close by that can help so I got really panicky when everyone kept asking "Have you got plenty of help at home?".
Good luck with everything!
Just read the other posts - I borrowed Save our Sleep from the library amd photocopied the twin routine. I know some people absolutely hate the book, but in terms of a routine only, it gave me a pretty good idea of how to attempt to set up a routine. There is also a fab twin book which I think is just called Twins and one of the authors is Katrina Bowman. (I have 2 babies on my lap so I cant go get it to check the title and authors!) It's got heaps of great tips for twins and is also Australian so it has lots of websites and helplines etc listed. It is my bible pretty much at the moment
Thanks girls, definitely giving me a bit more confidence! I mean, I know it has to be possible, I'm sure there are single mums and dads out there who have managed, it was just such a scary thought and I panicked!
I have the Twins book and it is fantastic - the only book on twins I've been able to find in this town! I've been reading it alongside the New Contented Little Baby Book which is SUPER routine oriented (a little too like the author has OCD if you ask me), but by reading the two together I have a good idea of what our routine should be, and what is going to be possible.
We have no family or friends here, and may not be here in 12 months (hopefully we will be going to Sydney where I have wonderful family in my aunt, uncle and cousins, and many friends) so thats why I panicked so much when mum pointed it out to me earlier. There are heaps of girls in the estate here though always looking for baby sitting work, so I thought that if I could just get them to lend me a hand for a few hours it would be good - plus I can see how well they go with the kids if we need a baby sitter for a night out down the line .
Sounds like you have a great plan. Document things as you go - sleep feeds play bath etc - so u can see their own routines develop.
I think finding a young girl now whose willing to help could be good so your other little one knows them.
And I agree. Attempt a routine with hubby their acting as though he isn't. I only had one little one but going out on my own scared me so I went somewhere that wasn't overly important or special (brothers soccer game) so I got an idea of what to do
Omg RB you deserve like 10 freaking medals! Thats crazy! You must be so organised!
I think whats also scary is that these two will be our first children, so I have no frame of reference for what looking after one is like, let alone two. Its been over a decade since I looked after my niece as a baby, and I was young then so my parents were there anyway and I was just the entertainment while they did the necessary stuff. At least I wont have to go anywhere - like I said no friends or family means no obligations - and if I want take away, the Thai shop is on the next block so that could be walk time, even if I'm not hungry I can just put it in the fridge for later.
I have 6 children and I find from 5.00pm it's just work, work, work. Like a mother said you have to be super organised. The twins are 2 and they are a lot of work I find them more work now than when they where little. And the 5 month old has his crying time during this mad mad mad time. You can do it.
Oh yes it's very do able, but very hair raising at the same time. But yes it's been said already but prep is the key, and be prepared for two screaming babies at the same time. I also had two spewy bubs and had to bath every night to get the cheese out of their neck folds! If they aren't spewy, you can skip a night, as they won't be dirty. You can do it SF!!!! I also followed Tizzie's book, it literally saved my sanity that is for sure. When you have no Friends and family to help out something has to give or else you will go completely nuts!
Can one person manage two newborns at dinner/bath/etc time?
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you deserve like 10 freaking medals! Thats crazy! You must be so organised!
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