Hi there,

I haven't posted in or visited here in a long time, but I now really need some advice please, and I apologise if I have posted in the wrong section.

After some huge hurdles early on in, I have achieved my goal of breastfeeding my son for minimum of two years. In fact I have gone over that by nine months, due to lots of travelling and moving around, it was just easier to keep feeding him to sleep (and on planes, and sometimes in the day if he needed the extra comfort or was sick). My son is now 2 years and 9 months, and I really wanted to let him self wean, when he was ready. But I just can't keep going. He sleeps with me so whenever he wakes in the night (usually more than two times) I feed him to sleep because it's easier than any alternative. Please don't get me wrong, I have loved breastfeeding and I am super proud that I have been able to give him so much comfort and health benefits for as long as I have. But I am now really feeling the need to stop for a number of reasons, sleep being the main one - I have not had a full nights sleep in three years now. I have not breastfed him for three nights now, and have two problems:

1. Being attacked by my son when I refuse a feed - he goes to sleep nicely, with me telling stories or singing songs. But when he wakes in the night and expects his usual feed to sleep, and I refuse, he hits me, kicks me, and pulls my hair. He pulls all the pillows off the bed and throws them onto floor, as well as anything else he can get his hands on, and upturns tables and chairs. This has been happening for three nights. The first night was the worst, and it has become gradually less over the three nights, but I don't know the correct way to deal with it. I tell him very firmly that hurting me does not make me happy, and it's wrong. I stick to my 'no' so that he knows this kind of behaviour doesn't get him anywhere, but he still does it. I also tried completely ignoring him and covering my head with a blanket, but he just hit me through it. I can understand his point of view though, I am refusing his favourite thing in the world, something that has been a huge part of his life since he was born - but I really feel I need to stop now. I tell him 'mook' (his word for it) is for babies, big kids don't have mook, and we talk about it a lot - who has mook, who doesn't and he seems to understand in the daytime. I explain to him before he goes to sleep that when he wakes up there'll be no mook and he should close his eyes and go back to sleep. Putting him into another bed or room is not an option. I don't have a partner so I'm in this night time situation alone. Any other ideas on how I can approach this?

2. Very sore boobs. They are very tender because of not breastfeeding. I have been massaging and expressing a little bit in the shower, but they feel like tender bruises - very sore to touch. What can I do to relieve the soreness and prevent any blockages?

Please no judgement, I have faced a lot of that lately. Any constructive advice will be greatly appreciated