DH and I have always said the one earning the most goes to work (after the first year's maternity leave), the other one does the childcare. We made this arrangement knowing he would be the earner though!

But if my job was the skilled, stressful, lives-at-stake job then DH would be getting up to DS all night. The reason I do the vast majoity of the nights and the childcare is because if DH stuffs up his job people die. If I stuff up then someone corrects my typing. Not in the same league at all.

As you say, there is a recession too. You may not both have work soon - may be worth toughing it out, but sharing parenting responsibilities a lot more.