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hi girls,
me again, a can of worms has been opened, i have a question for anyone who feels like answering, when do you think anxiety turns from normal to abnormal ?
i will probably go back to work in june and already im scared as to how im going to leave James, when i went back after having DD i of course didnt want to leave her but i never really worried anything would happen to her but with him its a whole other level, its not that i think anything will happen to him but im just so worried about it, dh says he will be fine and im sure he will be but it doesnt make me feel any better to hear that, its not like i go ok he'll be fine worry over, its not something i can control, i think it probably stems from my friend losing her son (and to a certain extent my brother dieing when i was 10)
i have been going to the gym for a while as i have put on SO much weight (thats another story) but the gym is on a busy road and often when im there i hear ambulances racing past and i can't help but think oh my god what if something has happened to my kids, we have a pool and i think what if DH got distracted with james and DD fell in or various other scenarios, it is really a fight not to race to the phone to check they are ok. on the one hand it would make me feel better to never leave them but i know that isn't healthy either but it really is a struggle for me to go out without them and to leave them with someone else, again not that i think that person can't be trusted (and if im really honest they are NEVER left with anyone but DH) but it causes so much anxiety for me
i know it probably sounds like well if you can go to the gym you cant be that worried, its hard to explain, i am worried but im trying to fight it i suppose, im never gone more than 1.5 hours, mostly less but am anxious that whole time
i'd like to hear your thoughts
Melinda
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It wasn't until recently that I realised that worry can be anxiety. I say that because I am a big worrier, use to be so bad at times that I was physically ill from it. I don't have panic attacks or get sweaty but certainly get the butterflies in my stomach really bad and find it hard to control my thoughts, it's like they keep swirling sometimes getting worse and worse. It is sometimes hard for me to sit still etc...
I understand how when things happen close to us that it make it worse, I hardley went anywhere when D was little cause my nephew died at 32 days old so I was super paranoid about anyone being sick near him etc...
I am also starting to worry (almost panic) at the idea of going back to work in about 11 days... it was bad the other night I could hardly sleep. Dp is looking after DS so he will be fine right? I don't know if it's a control thing or what but I am just a little freaked out. It doesn't help that Dp is booked solid until I go back so we aren't doing any practice runs and I leave DS with Dp for the whole day. He is going to have DS for the whole day for 2 weeks :(
Sorry I can't really answer your question other than to give you my experience I would suggest it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone as either 2 things will happen, you will be told it is perfectly normal or there will be some issues there and with some help you will be able to resolve them.
:grouphug:
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ROFL....gee thanks Mel :D
Haven't finished reading but your post made me laugh!!
Of course Laura :) anytime :) I could have written your post myself when i was in your shoes. If it helps everything you are thinking /feeling is normal in my book. I still felt the same while pg with Jake, wondering if i was doing the right thing by the kids.
Will reply more in depth later :)
xxx
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nic: thanks for your response, i understand that feeling of knowing dp will look after them and they will be fine but there is that part of you that says oh but what if it isnt alright. i too would be anxious especially having to work for full days for 2 weeks, after that time will you be working less days ?
Bec: glad i made you laugh, hope Jake was a bit better for you overnight
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All i can add is that I stressed a little bit when DD started childcare when I returned to work - but she adapted to it really easy. So I hope when it comes to her moving onto pre-school etc that it won't make me feel any different (as the child care has a pre-school / kindy in a seperate part of the same premises).
Nic - my DF looks after our DD mostly through her awake times (due to shift work) and I usually score her in the evenings and weekends. The thing I've learnt to accept is that he does things slightly different to myself, but the job still gets done. (Sure he'll not wash the bottles straight away or will fold up the clothes inside out - but DD is still alive, well and happy).
Mel - All i can offer is :hug: - my DF usually goes through extreme phases of 'no honey, you sit down and rest - I'll cook dinner' then to 'honey, can you sort that out - I'm so tired' (and I'm the pregnant one lol!). So I can't complain at all - it's fairly even in our household.
DD astounds me with her progress, she had her yearly check up - and has a larger than average head :o (but I think thats coz she has big brains lol)! Not bad for a prem baby born at 1.18kg's! She has caught up size wise quite staggeringly, and has the top two teeth thru only this morning - so 4 teeth all up. She can go from laying down to sitting up now unaided, and this morning she went from kneeling to holding onto the lounge and standing!! I think she is going to skip crawling perhaps?? Or maybe she just loves making me do the extra washing so will continue to combat crawl!
I hope those suffering the heat get a cool change - like us lucky lot in SA. Wow, even some light rain overnight!
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Hi everyone.
I am up way to early again so thought I would pop in.
Mel,What you are describing is anxiety and it sounds like a more severe form to me.I totally get the going back to work thing, that is very understandable but when you talk about the gym and ambulances it sound a little more serious.I have had thoughts like that before and I know how horrible it can make you feel.Would it be worth having a chat to your doctor?What you have been through with your friend and brother, I can't imagine, but it might be worth having a chat about it.I don;t know hun but :hug: it doesn't sound like your having much fun at the moment.x
Leesa, I'm due one day after you!How exciting!How have you been feeling?
Nic, How are you feeling? I'm thinking of you.
Hayley, what about you?Hope you're doing ok.
xxxx
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Just wanted to add how sad I am about all the brushfire victims.I just can't believe it.
My Aunt lives in one of the towns that was completely wiped out.They moved there 4 years ago and started a petrol station/roadhouse cafe.There house is attached to the back.They have worked 7 days a week to get it up and running and it's all gone, and so is there cat:( Thankfully they are safe and considering everything, that is something to be thankful for.It's just so sad, all these beautiful little towns, gone and all these families have lost loved ones.It's heartbreaking.
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Oooh Laura that's awful :( I know I'm in tears everytime I see the news, I just keep putting myself in that situation and I would be so devestated. I feel guilty for feeling like i've got crap in my life, it's nothing compared to this.
I'm so clueless as to where you all live (I know, I know.....geography was never my strong point) but I've been racking my brains trying to think where you are!! I thought of you Laura.........how about you Catherine? Anybody else?? Hope you are all ok.
xxx
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Thanks Bec.
We live in an area that is prone to fires but thankfully we didn't get any this weekend.Catherine will be fine too.Inwym about feeling bad about stuff in your life, I feel like that too, especially when you see the death toll just rise and rise.
I was at my mums on Saturday and the temp there hit 50!unbelievable.
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I have been thinking about you guys in Vic, so glad to hear you are ok Laura and hoping you don't get any fires in your area. I am so glad your Aunt is ok but sorry for her loss. Hope Catherine you are doing ok and anyone else affected by the fires.
Let's hope this is the last of the heatwave and we can get back to some more senisible temperatures. Today will be 32 and tomorrow 28 and then 23, on the weekend it was 39 and was soooo hot, don't know how you guys have coped with days of it.
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Our home is not very close to the fires at all. On Saturday I was at my parents and there were some fires about a 15min drive from them. You could see and smell the smoke but it was blowing the other way.
Where Josh works they are right next to a state forest which I believe is on fire at the other side (quite far away). They are on alert and ready for the worst, but it doesn't look too bad for them so far.
One of my old work colleagues' family lives in King Lake and remarkably their house is fine, they lost a tractor but so what! A lady from my church had the fires come within 2 paddocks of her home, she is fine but was very shaken when I saw her.
I am just in utter disbelief at how terrible they are. We don't have a telly so thankfully I haven't seen any news reports, but we get the paper and that is enough to have me fighting tears. I really wish I could donate some blood, but they don't let preggo women do it :(
Hopefully they are all brought under control before the weekend when it is supposed to heat up again :pray:
:hug: Mel, I don't have any advice and can't really relate on the anxiety/worry issue. I hope you are feeling better about it. Take care.
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I know Catherine, you also can't donate blood within 9 months of giving birth (so we are all ok there!!) or of you are BF :( I had wanted to too.
Glad all in our little thread are all ok :)
Mel will call you tomorrow if that suits you??
BB tomorrow girls.
Night, and enjoy your families xxx
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Glad to hear all you family are ok Catherine.It seems we all know someone who is affected.I've stopped watching the news because it's just too devastating.
I'm going to donate money and any extra things I can find to help out.I too wish I was able to give blood.I was happy to hear they that the had a record amount of people do it yesterday though.
Sam was awful last night!He just wouldn't stay asleep.I am so tired.
Hope everyone's well.
xx
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hi girls,
so good to hear everyone is alright, we still have a fire burning about 20 mins away from us but isnt heading in our direction, it has rained overnight so hopefully that has helped. they have charged a 31 year old man (there are many other words i would like to use here) with arson and when caught had lit one in our suburb, it makes me so angry people do these things and our lives could have been in danger.
it is so sad watching the tv footage and so tragic so many people have died, its just unbelievable, but out of it i have learnt that at the first sign of danger we are out of here, no thinking we might stay and defend the house, it is simply not worth your or your childrens lives.
Leesa Laura and Catherine thanks for your hugs, not sure what to do with myself really, Laura im not sure about the whole talking to someone thing, they cant say nothing will happen to the kids so i dont know if there is any point ? iykwim. i hope Sam sleeps for you today and you can get a rest while he sleeps. sorry to hear about your aunts home and business, it must be so devastating to lose everything in a matter of minutes.
Melinda
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Mel, I know going to see someone can seem a bit daunting at first especially when you they are just going to tell you what your 'logical' response should be but I can tell you from experience that they are great. I am a talker so I need to talk things out otherwise it just whirls around and around in my head getting worse and worse where as if I get a chance to talk through it then I can make sense of it. They may also be able to give you strategies to deal with your worry as well. They don't tell you what you should think but talk you through how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. :hug: HTH
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Mel, maybe see if you can sit with your little one for an hour or so one day, then a few days later leaving them there for an hour, then in the next few days part for 3 hrs and build it up over time??
It could help reassure the both of you that all will be okay... ;)
Laura - I've been doing well, getting up thru the night (only once though, I can't complain) can get taxing - and I nearly fall asleep at my desk early arvo lol! Howz about yourself??
I'm part of a 'Cops for kids' donation thing we do at SAPOL (started out at Pt Adelaide now everyone is joining it!!) and each fortnight we donate on $5 from our pay to a charity about / for kids. This pay the donation is going to the bushfires in Victoria, which makes me feel ok, that our group has helped out. But I've gone through our clothes and will donate some to the Salvo's tomorrow. I wish I could donate blood too :-( I have rare blood (as its negative lol).
I'm always in tears watching the news, the kindess of strangers eh?? ;)
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hi girls, i know amidst all the tragedy i have no problems but I'm having a shocker of a day and needed a whinge ;)
It's SO cold here today, jumpers etc and it's still cold inside the house. I'm taking Jake to the drs in a minute, he's so whingy the last few days and been grabbing his ears so even though he has no temp I'm wondering if it's his ears. He loves to be carried in a High Back Carry but the HAB is too small for that job and although I had plans to buy a wrap and materials for a MT on the weekend, DH's boss only paid him half his pay because apparantly they overpiad him in his holiday pay *sigh*. bl**dy D!ckhead....who takes over $200 out of an already miserable wage in one go??? a$$hole.
kids are fighting awfully today, i wish they would just leave each other alone!!
my uncle's b'day today (just up the road) and we have not a cent to give him anything. we are making a cake instead but i just can't be stuffed.
and to top it all off I have another headache, it's killing me. I have loads of meds in the house but all have codiene, which i can't take, and plain old paracetamol just isn't cutting it.
thanks :) needed to vent somewhere.
hope you all have a good day, and take care.
xxx
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Nic: thanks for your thoughts, im not really into talking in depth to people (although bec might beg to differ lol) but i do see what you mean about how it could help and how they could give me ideas on how to reduce anxiety, i don't worry constantly about things happening to them, only worry about what could happen when im not there ! which is not to say things can't happen when im with them but its only the thought of leaving them i can't cope with. im booking DH in for a st johns first aid course as i thought that might make me feel better as i know now he wouldn't have the slightest clue about cpr or what to do with choking etc
how are you going with your anxiety over leaving D ?
Leesa: when i go back to work i will only do shifts that i can work around my DH being home to look after the kids, if i can't do that i won't go
Bec: :hug: to you, hope your headache is better and you got the energy to make the birthday cake for your uncle, actually while on the subject does anyone have any good ideas for a 3 year old girls birthday cake ? or any websites i could look at to get ideas, its DD party on sun (birthday the 18th)
Melinda
