Babies Born November 2006 #44

VICKY - how long will dh's recuperation period be?

ANN and KIM - glad your scans went well

TARALESS - ouch about your eye. Does Evie have many words? or is hitting out part of the frustration of not being able to say much? Bilby is throwing so many things, really hard, and i think part of that is because she can only say Mum and Dad.

LEA - sorry to hear about your back going like that - OMG - that is a nightmare come to life, you poor thing.

a bilby is a rare Australian marsupial. Our family is mad about them, and online, we refer to my DD as Tiny Bilby, to avoid using her actual name online. She has many plush bilby toys and puppets, every bilby story book we can find etc etc.

US: it was PND therapy group morning today. 2nd week of me copping antibreastfeeding comments. and controlled crying got a huge serve of praise today, the mother of twins went to a sleep doctor last week, and that's what she is doing now. So in a group of three participants, there is nowhere for me to hide.:rolleyes:

bilby is refusing fruit and veg and water so has been badly constipated. So in desperation i have her on three tubes of Rafferty's Garden tubes of apple/veg purree per day now. it's one thing she will actually eat and i'm hoping the veg and apple will make her bowels work normally again. But i am anxious that she only wants pureed food at 21 months old. Oh and quiche cut into cubes, muffin, scone, cracker with cheese, sultanas, fruit yogurt, they are acceptable to her too.

everything i offer her (steamed veg, baked veg, cubes of fishcake, soup, spaghetti, banana, tomoto, bread) she just tips on the floor or throws on the floor, one by one.

of course, the ENTIRE blame for her poor interest in solids, is laid SOLEY at the fact she is still breastfed apparently! i know this is rubbish, but it gets me down, being told to put her on FF or wean. I have no idea why so many people see breastfeeding as the reason for ANYTHING that goes wrong with bilby. IMO, it's the one thing going right for her. THe reason she DOESN"T lose weight when ill. the reason she looks so darn healthy. i have flopped at so much about motherhood, but i thought the BF was the one thing i actually might be doing ok - so to hear people being so negative about it, CONSTANTLY, is a real slap in the face. It's my gift to her, i don't do it cos it's easy, i do it for her benefit.

bilby's birthday is just under three months away, i wonder if i will be well adn together enough THIS year to make her birthday special and actually celebrate it properly. i feel anxious just thinking about it.

Gigi, sweet it sounds less like a PND support group than a encourage PND group :o !!! Awful...
:hug: I think you are giving your daughter an amazing gift. Yes she's not taking solids, but thats okay.... seriously Matilda went for 2 months without eating dinner. And barely anything else.... It was frustrating, horrible and scary... she's going well now. Something clicked... I hope that happens with bilby

Gigi chin up babe....Bilby is getting the best thing a child can have..her mummies milk!!!
As for solids....meh....as long as she is getting something...its better then nothing :)

Chelsea is a fuss pot with what she will and ownt eat....changed her mind everyday whats 'good enough' for her liking....i just go with the flow.

I picture Jasmine being like Bilby....not liking food.....now over 10 months and still refuses anythinf but formula....but im nto worried...and thankfully ny nurse is on my side and doe not mind either....cos she is a plumb thing..unlike the opposite sister Chelsea..nure hated when she wouldnt eat food cos she never gains weight!

I say pooh to the Non supportive PND group...and 3 cheers to you!

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i have flopped at so much about motherhood, but i thought the BF was the one thing i actually might be doing ok

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Gigi - that absolutely breaks my heart to hear you 'say' that. you are doing a wonderful job. don't worry about what people say, i know it's easier said than done.
you should be walking away from your PND support group feeling empowered, proud and motivated...not disempowered and questioning yourself. i think you need to cut that out of your life, it just screams bad vibes and no-one needs those.
those rafferty's things are fantastic. have you tried the meals too? they're also great. just make sure you keep offering bilby food, it's all you can do. evie's discovered tomato sauce, so will eat anything she can dip in it, worth a try. Maybe bilby wants to be a bit more independent... you could try getting her to get her plate and fork out and helping you put her dinner on it and such. evie likes push the buttons on the microwave and blow on her food to cool it down too.
Could you try more finger foods? Plain pasta or toast fingers to dip into soups/stews?
Does she have her own little table and chair she might like to sit at? you could make a big deal about her being a big girl and doing all these things and then eating like a bit girl...
just some ideas.
don't worry too much, all kids go through the no eating deal. i was just talking to my SIL tonight and her daughter is doing the same thing, altho, on occasion, will only eat soup. but no no, the soup my SIL makes isnt good enough, it has to be bought soup.

I just read a thing that toddlers around this age say around 200 words...uhh...is it just me or WTF?!! 200?! we're lucky to have 10 and half of them are ones that only i know!!!
isnt it obvious that 'lala' means wiggles?! 'moo' means moon and 'moh' means monkey?!
on a cuter note, she calls chino 'chi chi' :lol:

:hug: gigi!

tara mmm sophie isnt saying 200 words~ i wouldnt worry! your the best :hug:

im going to be offline til tuesday as we are having some renos done involving the compuer desk so it has to be disconnected!!

sophie is sick think she has hand foot and mouth

See you in a few days Jols, and cheers ;)
Evie went to a birthday party today, most of the kids were a bit older and she was just happy to potter around playing by herself. she had a great time but she looked so lonely lol mind you, there were 2 others there her age and their parents said the same thing about them. just that age, it's all parallel play.
had a bit of a bad afternoon, but it was my fault since she was so tired, anyways, she just wouldnt leave chino alone, hitting me jumping and hitting then i had to change her nappy and she kept kicking me, wouldnt lay still, poo was going everywhere and i gave her a smack on her bare bottom. oh i felt so bad. it made me feel like 'what have i become'. i've turned into one of those angry parents...the kind i vowed i would never ever be. i always said i would never ever smack my kids....anyways its made me stop and take stock of the last month and start over.
i was wondering if anyone is a smacker?

aww tara ive had those moments :hug: i have on the very rare occasion given a little smack but like you simply put of frustration, doent make you a worser person for doing so

:hug: tara
recently aston ran onto the road - gympie terrace in Noosa - which is a busy road, and I just managed to cut him off before he got to far. but it FREAKED me out. I swept him up, smacked him on the bottom, and unceremoniously dumped him in the pram... and turned away because I was shaking so much. I breathed in and out, and went and knelt beside the pram, gave aston a cuddle, said sorry, and explained why. that is the first time I have smacked him..... and it broke my heart. so I understand hun - remember hun you are HUMAN - its what you do afterwards that makes the difference. :hug:

bye bye for now!! be back tuesday!

hi miss vicky!

*Edited and Deleted*

HI Girls!!!

Sorry went mia hols etc had a great time in Sydney sorry Ann couldn't catch up as it was my sister had another massive biarch moment bcos we didn't spend "enough" time with her gawd family peeves me off sometimes

It was funny reading your post about Andrea Bocceli ann bcos Daggles surprised me with tickets to see his Brisbane show the Friday we got back and it was awesome!

We have been pretty busy Jake's cough hasn't improved at all and went to have blood tests and xrays of his little chest on Friday - that was fun. Should get results this arvo. Has had same cough for months had at least 4 doses of abs and prednisone and ventolin - now he is so distressed by it he doesn't like sleeping on his own bcos the coughs rack his little body so much and he wakes up crying. Have not had a good night sleep in a while.

Christy when do you move? Let me know if I can help - I got my BRAND NEW FORD TERRITORY (with hot pink TW stripes) on Thursday so have lots of room if you need some running around.

catch you all soon - hopefully not in another month lol

well nelly! good news for you all round! oh sorry, except for jake. did you get the results back? how did it all go?
had a better day here. i feel like i turned a corner after my little "episode" yesterday.
anyways, will bbl. dh is on night shift tonight so i'm solo for the evening...fun fun. my mum is coming over for 9 days tomorrow night so i am making a list of everything i want to get done while she's here!

well chest xray was better than expected - he has congestion in his bronchial tubes quite low down in his lungs and has a significant r attle low in his left lung which at the moment is being managed by flixotide and ventolin. THe blood tests taken on Friday showed no huge increase in count or no sign of rampant infection which is good - it means there is no allergic response happening.

Having said all that got the results yesterday morning all ok wait 2 weeks see how drugs manage it then at about 2 get a phone call from daycare Jake has a 39 temp and isn't well so I pick him up and rush him back to same doctor only to find he now has tonsillitis that only flared over the weekend - and didn't show as brewing in his bloods. aaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh

another sleepless night wanting to sleep with mummy but daddy took him into the spare room to sleep with him - I am soo tired. *sigh* the coughing goes on and on and he sounds like he is choking and vomitting but nothing comes up. poor wee man

Geez Nelly...poor Jaske really hasnt been well.....much....was he sick from birth? Hope he has a speedy recovery!

Tara lucky you having your mum over...will be nice indeed

I have a scan at 3pm today.....hope Miss BumbleBee is ok.

He hasn't been sick from birth - had reflux which is more a condition than an illness which he has been medicated for until recently - and he has had his run of coughs and colds. I'm sure he hasn't - it just feels like it some days lol

The mod team feel that it is important that we remind you that this is a gentle parenting site. We do not support or condone violence against children and we would encourage any member who uses physical discipline to explore other methods.

oh wow congrats Nelly :D

we had a great time away, i really didnt want to come back lol..thats sounds horrible..i did miss the kids but it was nice to do something for us for a change and i knew they were getting well looked after!

how did your scan go Kim? hope u didnt get that same b**** again!!

Tara, my CHN told me that a 2yr old should be saying close to 50 words and putting words together, so dont stress about the 200words!
how cute Chi chi!

jols- how are the renos going?

i better go Emelia is in the fridge :s

I wondered who would notice first lol.

don't you just love it when they can help themselves to the fridge! aston hasnt' quite mastered opening it by himself yet - but I have to open it quickly when he is around otherwise he is in it - yogut?? stabees?? peeesssee???

Ladies (and lurkers to the thread) i was going to say sorry for a previous post, but i dont feel i am required to when i say what i think and raise my children MY way...not some one elses way. I dont judge anyone elses parenting....i would expect the same in return.

If anyone had a problem i would have preferred a PM or email, rather then running to report me.

No one on here lives in my home or see how i deal with my family so i find it quite offensive that it has been 'read into' more then what i said.

Deeply offended and by god im furious any one would think id would be violent against my 2 DD's..shame on anyone who thinks that....

Thanks....

Thanks Blanche the car is great - huge, lots of room and Jake love the Taware car -as he calls it! And the concert was amazing - some of the music just brought tears to my eyes!

Nah don't think so Vic!

Kim your post did disturb me. I'm not a perfect mother by no means, and have made plenty of mistakes. But I do actively try to be the best for my kids, and do the best by them too. And smacking out of frustration and feeling remorseful, compared to smacking as a general rule and as form of discipline without feeling remorseful and that it is ok is a LOT different. I come from a background where violence was the norm. So from my perspective, it triggers things for me. I don't think you are being violent with your kids hun, I just know from experience that there are different - and what I now consider - better ways to discipline your kids. The book Boundaries with your Kids, changed my parenting dramatically.

If I could take back all the smacks that I have given my children I would do in a heartbeat. I am so glad that I found a different more effective way to discipline my kids, and one that doesn't break my heart, or theirs, and leaves their spirit intact.

Let's not get into a slanging match about this, and just agree to disagree on this one ok. Our Baby buddies group is a great one, and I would very much like it to stay that way.

Kim, I have to say I was surprised when I read your post, and was still digesting things when dachlostar posted.

Nelly :hug: fantastic!! I hope to see you soon.

Vicky :hug: I won't be there tomorrow... massive migrane today... so tomorrow will be a recuperating day.

i dont really know what to say either
lets agree to disagree or whatever and move on. i dont want our happy group divided

:happybirthday: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIGI:happybirthday:
Sorry its the end of the day!!! It's my first chance to sit down!! lol
Hope you had a fantastic day!!!! :hug:

Hey!!!!!! I know this is my 3rd post
but Congratulations Nelly!!! Did i know or not?! is that new?!! surely i'm not the first to notice?!?!?!?
:cheer:

;) :cheer:

CONGRATS NELLY!!!!! :cheer: so happy for you hun!!! :cheer: yay on the car too!!

well im back!! renos went well, sophie had hand foot and mouth which is not fun!

happy birthday GIGI :happybirthday:

posted the following on behalf of gigi!!!

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Nelly, wow, poor little Jake, that sounds really rough - how are YOU holding up hon?


Blanche - glad you had a great time away. I'm chuckling, imagining Emelia being IN the fridge, like PHYSICALLY in the fridge ROTFL.


i can't even imagine HOW bilby would have the strength to open the fridge - i struggle to get it open myself (the suction).


Nelly - which concert did you go to?


AJP - welcome back!


what is foot n mouth disease like? how do you know your kid has it? (so i know what to watch out for). is it contagious or just something they gotta wait it out?


thanks for the birthday wishes everyone.


This was my post at 12.30 midnight, so extremely early on 3rd Sept 2008, couldn't post cos i can't log in atm, computer has forgotten my password, so have i - so i can't get in to post right now.


i've typed this out in my STICKIES software adn will cut npaste it into the thread when i can get in next. (to belly belly)


or maybe i will email it to AJP and hope she posts it for me!


i'm missing my belly belly fix for the day i tell you! *just a leedl bit addicted!!!**


Gigi

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kim Do You Have Some News?

Gigi??? are you on yet? I hope that last trick worked for us!!

Well... I'm a bit sad about everything in here.

Other than that... having a crap time at work. Monday was a horrible horrible day. Soul destroying.... Then... well Tuesday was okay. I spent the morning at Montessori with Matilda & Jovie doing baking with her class. It was fun, and then I got home with a migrane yesterday. I got acupuncture last night & am feeling better today. I've got both girls at home, and luckily my back and neck are holding out which is great.

Jovie only slept 45 minutes today though... I'm bracing myself for a cranky arvo.

christy it took me 2 hrs to get sophie fown today only fo rher to sleep for 40 mins

*groan* how annoying!! Last night Jovie didn't go to sleep until 10pm :o She slept 2 hours later in the arvo and just wasn't tired. Nothing.... happy playing by herself.... and we've been up hours everynight in the middle of the nights with her so we just left her... she slept through last night at least :)

Hello you lovely ladies

Im feeling realy good :lol: i have got most of the packing done and im starting my new job on monday i can't wait we are finaly out of here on the 20th Sep :dance:.I won't be on line for a while after that date so ill try to get in and talk as much as i can up untill then. Sorry i havnt been here lately but Georgia is being a 2 year old and she not even 2 yet (help me!!!!) and iv been flat out trying to pack up the house befor i go back to work next week.

So how are we all going how are all the babies and the mum's to be babies?

catch ya later

i'm quite sad about it too christy

Well girls, I think we need to make a decision about it all. Obviously Kim is hurt and upset, some of us were surprised by her post, and some didn't ever read it. I wish we could put it behind us and move on. In every close friendship I have, we have fought, disagreed and overcome. You'd be surprised at my closest friends. I think only one is similar to me, the others are all different in many ways... yet we appreciate our differences.

In parenting decisions as well. As a gentle parenter, I find some decisions hard to agree with.... very very hard, but I try with everything within me to not judge. One of my best friends uses smacking, and recently we did have a big blow up regarding it IRL. It was hard because neither of us would change what we do. But wanted to persuade the other that our way worked. It was hard, it hurt.... and we had to agree in the end to support each other regardless. I felt so deflated afterwards. BUT our friendship has survived. We still love each other. Unfortunately it means I have had to decide when is enough for us. I she ever did it in front of me, I don't know if I could handle it.... I guess it depends on what it was for etc... the circumstances. Not that I haven't attempted smacking in the past.

Okay.... I encourage everyone to post what they feel and hopefully we can move on as a group.

Well said Christy!

I hope my post to V "I don't think anyone noticed" was misconstrued I was actually talking about if anyone noticed my ticker change but it all got mixed up in the mess. :(

Hi I personaly don't agre with smaking either but if the child is realy messing up then maybe a littel tap on the hand or as i beleave in a naughty corner for 2 years 2mins in the corner 4 years 4 mins in the corner etc. My brother in law has a 7 year old boy and when he gets in trouble my brothe-in-law waks him over the head or waks him in the back i don't like that he is just beeing a boy but noone can tell him he is doing it all wrong by hitting him on the head or back. what can you do i love him but i hate seeing him treat his son like that. He also has a 2 and half year old and he never gets a samk or a hit over the head or back.

I tap Georgia on the hand and send her to the naughty corner or her room and i close the door untill she settles down she isn't even 2 yet and she is throughing her self on the ground and screaming at me what can i do to help her and me through it safely?

well said christy and nelly that is one fine ticker :lol:

im really not sure what to say because i dont really want to start arguements but i feel very sad that this has happened, i was kinda shocked at the fact that it got reported and went as far as it has, cos i thought we were all "friends" and have "known" one another for almost 2 years now and when i read Kims post i didnt think twice about it, if that is the way she chooses to raise her children then thats her buisness, maybe the wording is what upset ppl i dont know. but i feel it could have been dealt with better and not taken so far, a simple pm could have let Kim explain what her post ment.

i do use smacking, i have tried different gentler ways but Emelia is a very stubborn and a determind little girl and things such as timeout just dont work for her. i dont smack for everything but for when nothing else works, i will smack.

there has been alot of things i dont agree about that some of you have posted about the way you parent and things you choose to do, but i would never comment on it nor try tell you to do it differently because that is your choice..everyone has a right to their opinion yes...i just feel that this small thing has hurt someone and has now divided the group when in all honesty should never have happened

hope i made sense and dont offend anyone or upset im just expressing my opinion:)

Fair enough Blanche, but it actually wasn't Vicky who reported it. I don't want her to be put up for it either. I don't think I need to say who or what happened in mods, but it was their decision as Jols & I stayed out of the decision making as Jols was offline and I said I wasn't sure how to handle it and would step back because it was my group. See I too felt we were all friends. If I was concerned about a friend I would approach them as well as others for advice.

thanks Christy - no I didn't report it. As I said, it disturbed me - probably because of my own personal history. And like blanche, there have been other times that there have been things said that I dont' particularly agree with. As I also said, lets agree to disagree. Being a parent is a hard job, one fraught with trails and tribulations, but also one full of wonder, joy and amazement. I'm sorry Kim that you feel confronted by this - but as you yourself have said, the way you choose to parent is your choice, just as it is all of our choice as to how we parent. Just as we choose to parent differently, we are all individuals with different styles, personalities, histories, and perspectives. What I posted was my opinion, just as I would say in conversation with someone face to face.

All relationships move through stages, from the superficial, to the blantantly honest. Kim, you were honest, just as my reply was honest. I hope that you are able to receive it as it was intended - not as judgement of you - but as an expression of how it made me feel, and the offering of an alternative. Relationships that are built on honesty tend to last the distance I have found - I have more respect for someone if they are honest, then if they are superficial. I guess at the end of the day - it depends on what we individually want from our relationships in our group. I have met and made real life friendships with some of you. Others I "talk" to regularly. I care about you guys -
ALL of you. :hug:

i'm in the same mind as Blanche. i didnt think twice about what kim wrote because i know what she's like and the tone in which she wrote it. If i, for one minute, thought that her or anyone else's children were in any sort of danger, i would take action. believe me.
I feel disappointed that kim wasnt asked for clarification...or maybe she was thru a pm. i dont know.
i hope that if anyone felt offended by something i wrote, they would ask me about it first because;
a) we are all friends here and
b) at the end of the day, it's the age old problem of not being able to hear inflections and tones in someone's voice..thats the trouble with typing and not speaking.
i'm not judging anyone and am purely making my comments based on what i believe to be true but realise that at the end of the day, i dont know the full story.
i'd like to put it behind us too, but i am saddened that kim's decided not to join us anymore.