Babies born ~ December 1st-15th 2009 #5

Hey BS - yes it's all normal don't worry, Amelia is a lover of her programs and I believe as long as they have balanced time outside etc it's not harmful. My sister's son (who is now 21) learnt to count off Sesame St ha ha! Was thinking of you this morning, Amelia went to the fridge and asked for "melmo" aka Elmo - she is a yoghurt addict and I buy the Yoplait brand and they have Elmo on the packaging hee hee. How cute she has some teeth, that's probably why she's been fussing too, Amelia has just got her 4 molars but two of them are still to come down fully so they are definitely bothering her. It's the canine's I'm dreading, I've heard they are the worst ones!!

Hi Willow - don't worry I hardly get on these days either, life's so busy huh. Hope little Harry is doing well. xx

Helloooooo darlings! I haven't been on in yonks!

Tilda - Oh I'm sooo glad Matilda's sleep has improved. What a great idea giving them a bigger meal in the evenings. I try to do that, but I think maybe he has too much during the day as well? Hmm. I think you did the right thing cancelling with that carer, she doesn't sound very flexible, or willing to do what is best for you and Matilda. I don't really know anything about Montessori, so I can't help you with that one. But I think just visit a few places a few times, and you'll get a feel of what you think is best for Matilda. You have to trust your instinct.

Alison - oh poor little Amelia. She's been so sick lately. I agree, I think its playgroup too. Michael has never got sick from daycare, and as soon as we started playgroup....wammo! He got everything. I've been back twice since and so far he hasn't picked anything else up...lets hope it stays that way. Not looking forward to winter in that respect :( when are you finishing work? We won't be trying for a 2nd till May next year (when we get back from our UK trip). Tho I must admit I"ve been getting sooooooooooooo clucky lately (really must stop watching those baby documentaries!!).

BS - Eva's behaviour when you put her down for a nap sounds a lot like how Michael was when he dropped from 2 to one. Tho, sometimes he does take a bit longer to go to sleep...I think it just depends what they've got running around in their little heads! Michael has been waking at odd times during the night the past few nights too. I am putting that down to his canine's coming down (the points are sticking out ever so slightly), plus the fact that DH won't let me put his amber teething necklace on his foot cos he says its too tight. Its not THAT tight, I mean, its not leaving marks on him or anything. Is everyone else still using their necklaces? As for TV, Michael doesn't watch any yet. I put a CD on at least once a day with songs and rhymes on it and he seems happy enough with that for now. Tho I'm sure the day will come when he asks for TV! :rolleyes:

Hello to everyone else!

AFM - Things are going along quite well at the moment (touch wood). Michael has been sickness-free for a couple of weeks, hoorah! He has also started saying some more words "bikkie", "cracker", "spoon", "car" - all his own versions of those words of course. And he's learning lots of animal noises - cow, lion, cat, dog, monkey, sheep, snake and I'm trying to teach him duck atm.

Has anyone else noticed any aggressive behaviour? When we went to playgroup this week Michael pushed a few kids when they were playing with something he watned to play with. I was really shocked and completely overreacted nearly shouting at him, which scared the other kids and I felt like everyone was looking at me. I was so embarrassed :redface: and I feel awful. I need to approach it much more calmly, but its hard when I'm actually very angry about him behaving like that, its not like him at all. I checked with his carer and she said she's never seen him do that and none of the other kids do it. So I'm guessing he hasn't learnt it from anyone else. Hmm.

I've been on half-dose of my AD's for a month now, and its going really well! Woo hoo!

Hey alison, willow and everyone else who does not have time to post! Eva is on the mend so I am home organizing (nesting nesting nesting!) and I have time to post :)

Beany, don't overreact to that - Eva is the gentlest of little girls but if she is tired or grumpy and I drop her off in the morning and someone gets in her face or too close to me she will nudge them away (not aggressive but for her it is aggressive lol)...He is a baby and for now an only child, so he does not know how to share, and he does not know how to talk yet, so he is expressing his unhappiness with something like that. Don't make him feel worse. I just pull Eva aside, or stop her wherveer she is standing or if she is on my lap turn her to look me in the eyes and tell her calmly, "Eva, we don't push/hit/grab/whatever...they all want to be your friends and play with you, so you have to share" - she sometimes repeats it a few times, but I just repeat, eva, be nice to your friends, they are sharing toys with you/ or giving you a hug/ or happy to see you" or whatever...She seems to understand.Keep a calm cool voice because if you overreact he will either continue when he wants to get reactions out of you or it will become something that you react to with agression, sort of mirroring the behavior you would like him to stop - his hitting or pushing is his way of yelling STOP.

It is normal to get upset - the first time I saw eva hit her friend on the head (when she was bigger after starting daycare) I realized that she must have picked it up there...I got so upset to see her acting out like that but then imagine if you could not talk....you would slap a table or shove DH when upset...see what I mean? He'll stop as he gets used to sharing and being sorrounded by pushy kids :) Unfortunately, mommy baby playtime is not the same as a group or kids fighting over the coolest loudest toy. They think that whatever they covet is theirs! Try inviting friends to the house a bit - with Eva that helped loads. She is not at all possessive with her toys, and I have been to many homes where the child does not have friends over very often since they go to daycare longer hours and on WE the parents are running around with the child, and the children are more possessive. One of my friends has a son and anything Eva lays a finger on at his house he grabs from her and hides in a corner, not even to play with, but just to get it away from her. His mother just comes in and tells him he must share (they are TTC#2 so she is prepping him!) and hands the toys back to Eva - 8 times out of 10 he throws a fit on the floor but it is usually over in ten seconds and he gives up and goes to play with something else :)

Ok, off to eat! lol

Hi BS - I haven't looked at Montessori in detail but I roughly know what it's philosophy is and I'm like you I'd only send her there for the younger years. I worry that life isn't really all about doing what you want when you want and that Montessori might not prepare them for the rough reality that we don't always get to do what we want. But I should find out more before making a judgement. There's a montessori pre-school in our area but I think the closest montessori daycare is in the city centre. But maybe DH could take her one way on when he goes to work. And LOL about Elmo. Actually, it would only be funny if it weren't the middle of the night!! I haven't been asked to turn the tv on during the middle of the night but I get hassled a lot during the day if Matilda is bored. We got into a bit of a bad habit when she was sick and getting up early of having it on a bit too much. She even asks me to fast forward the bits she doesn't like!! So I've put some routine around it which has helped. Basically she's allowed to watch sesame street in the morning when I'm cleaning up breakfast after DH has gone to work. And she's alllowed to watch playschool at around 4.30 when I'm getting her dinner ready. And of course In the Nightgarden before bed. And this routine has helped manange her expectations I think. She has stopped running to me with the remote control as soon as she gets up in the morning. I went to a parenting seminar run by child psychologists the other night and they were really hardlined about it. NO TV for under twos and only 30 minutes per day for over twos. But I'm sorry, I'm a full-time, pregnant, stay at home mum whose toddler does one 40 minute sleep during the day. I would go nuts if I didn't let her watch a little bit. Sometimes its the only way I can get something done efficiently. So in short, Eva is completely normal to have a thing for TV. Does she have an Elmo doll? I wonder if this would help. But I'm sure its a passing phase. And avoid putting the TV on as soon as she gets up so she doesn't associate getting up with TV (but it sounds like you're already doing this).

Alison- LOL about your niece being called upon to sing Twinkle Twinkle in Italian! Shoot me if I ever treat Matilda like a performing seal! I have the the same issues with Montessori as you I think. Sounds like you've had such a rough couple of months you poor thing. And poor Amelia having bug after bug. If it's any consolation we went through a few months of that last year and it has improved so much this year. I think it does build up their immune system and eventually they stop picking up everything. BTW I keep meaning to mention to you that I don't think Matilda had hand foot and mouth in the end. She only ever had one ulcer and a spotty bum. And maybe something that looked like a blister on her finger. But it never went any further and she seemed to get over whatever was making her so unhappy after a couple of days. I hope you can get some time to work on those decals. I want to see them!!

Beany - Don't worry, it's normal for toddlers to push and shove before they can ask for what they want and negotiate. It doesn't mean they're going to grow up into roughians at all. And I think BS is right, the less reaction you give negative behaviours the better. Robin Barker (who I always think is really practical) recommends a quick reprimand, give and alternative, give a reason, and move on. Don't let what other parents around you think worry you. There's no point getting really angry at them at this age.

Willow - lovely to see you pop in. Don't worry if you don't have time to post. A quick hello is great.

AFUS - just let me quickly say I hate the end of daylight savings! Matilda chose this morning to do one of her early wake ups which she hasn't done for awhile. So it was a 4:30 start!! Which I'm afraid will start a vicious circle. So, doing our best to make sure she has a full tummy and stays up for a bit tonight. But thank god she seems to be settling down again after the daycare debacle. She was quite happy for me to duck out for an hour while MIL and DH stayed with her today. Anyway, I think I've yammered on enough. Hope everyone is doing well.

Hi Tilda - Amelia sounds like Matilda with the remote hee hee - she pretty much asks for giggles (which is The Wiggles) within 5/10 minutes of having her breakfast - it's easy to get into a habit so like you I've started just limiting it to certain times of the day. She is so Wiggles mad at the moment, last weekend she just started saying Dorothy (the Dinosaur) out of the blue, clear as day, sounds so cute! My good friend (who's also in my mum's group) is a child psychologist and she does the same with her little girl, I've spoken to her about this quite a bit and she said in moderation it's totally fine and can actually be a good learning tool and also help teach them to play independently or something. So, I wouldn't worry - you will always get people telling you do this, don't do that, use a dummy, don't use a dummy, bf vs formula feeding, co-sleeping vs cot, vaccinate don't vaccinate, the list goes on! Like you said though, in a perfect world it's easy to say no tv, but the fact is we're all hard working (and yes working includes home duties) mums who will do what we need to get a break or to keep our kids happy even if it's just for 5 minutes! My decals will be ready soon, just waiting on my logo to be done, hopefully get that this week, I'm getting a professional graphic designer to do it for me, weird given my sister who is making crafts with me is one but she is old school ie hand drawing and isn't so good on the old computer graphic packages ha ha. Oh and I still say that was HF&M for Matilda, like anything they all get it at differing degrees, I know kids who have had just the rash on the bum, nothing in the mouth, or just the mouth nowhere else, Amelia was unlucky and got quite a dose of it. Anyway once they've had it they are generally immune so hopefully that one's gone for good! This darn cold she's had has dragged on, she is much much better but the snotty nose is still continuing a bit, poor thing has a dry red face from the constant wiping of her nose etc, but at least her sleep has improved, that nearly killed me, I'm so exhausted from the last few weeks or so!

Hi Beany - sucks when they're constantly sick huh! It really drains you doesn't it. I'm hoping like Michael Amelia can stay healthy for a while now, they've certainly had their fair share! I have to say, playgroup vs daycare, the dr did ask if she was a daycare child as he said kids who go to daycare are obviously at more risk for constantly catching things, but I wonder if the playgroup area is worse, I mean, daycare they probably clean the toys and equipment more often yes? At playgroup it doesn't really happen, well the centre we're at has 2 scheduled toy cleans a year and it's open 5 days a week, 2 groups a day, that's pretty ferral if you ask me! We are paying good money for our centre too as it's one of the nice ones, makes you wonder! Anyway we must catch up soon, you, me and Rose, it's been ages!

Hi Everyone else, sorry for the quick hi but I'm so knackered. We had my sister and brother in law's 25th wedding anniversary last night, they had a Bollywood Party as you've probably seen by my FB pics. She bought us all sari's in Malaysia last year, don't know why she picked mint green for me, it's not a colour I would normally wear but it was ok in the end. My other sister loves orange hence the orange one. Anyway it was a good night, the MIL and FIL came and sat at home, my sister only lives 5 mins away so we were home by midnight. My MIL is such a pain though, I think babysitting at night is not very interesting for her as Amelia is asleep, she couldn't get out of here quick enough when we walked in the door - Amelia hadn't woken so she was probably disappointed lol. I had put a dvd on for her - The Notebook - my fave and she hadn't seen it before. Anyway, being the negative nancy that she is I said, did you enjoy the movie and in her abrupt usual tone back she says, well it was ok but I couldn't hear it properly. She had it up so loud I turned it down before we left, you could hear it from upstairs where Amelia was sleeping. So I just said, gosh you must be going deaf then as it was pretty loud to me! lol. Grrrrr MIL's hey!

Right, gotta run, Paul's at the farm again tonight (had to go down and finish building the dam before the rain comes this week)...I am shattered after a late night last night, why can't toddlers sleep in till 9am or something, I'd kill for a lie in.

Hope you all had great weekends, love to you all and your gorgeous bubs and bellies. xx

Hey girlies,

Tilda, in any case keep us posted on what happens with the daycare situation. Did you ever try feeding her in the dark and putting her back down? Eva sometimes gets up at 6, has her milk and drops back to bed until 8:30....most of the time if fhe is up at 6:30 it is impossible to get her back down...but anything 6 or earlier will usually be ok for trying to put her back down - try to feed her in the dark, change her if necessary and put her back down - worth a shot and at least you'll get an extra hour or two...

Alison, you look gorgeous in that sari! And you are looking great in general - you look tanned and like your diet is working well. boo for MIL, but at least she babysat :)

Eva is back to sleeping full nights but back to waking at 6/630 the latest...I managed to get her back down on monday morning after the 6am wakeup and got back to bed until 830...but then was late for daycare..IT felt good to get that sleep though! It is wierd, when she has a rough night she wakes up in a great mood and when she sleeps through she wakes up cranky...I don't get it! I don't care, just sleep through :)

Everything is ok with me - getting bigger and organizing...Wardrobe for baby#2 is already growing...These girls...I can't resist the clothes!

Hugs to everyone and have a great week!

Hi Girls, how are we all?

Hi Hannah - how are you, everything going ok with you and Amelia? What happened to that poor baby Sophie who died?

Hi BS - oh thanks for your lovely comments, not sure why I looked tanned, must have been good lighting, although I do put tanning moisturiser on so maybe it was that ha ha. As for the weight, actually I think I've put on, I haven't weighed myself, too scared but I know my tummy has expanded, really annoyed with myself but since Amelia's dropped to 1 nap I'm finding it impossible to get on the treadmill now and I'm too knackered at night. Have started going walking with a friend twice a week in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed, easier to do that as it's socialising as well so doesn't feel like exercise ha ha. Stupid theory I know! I particularly wanted to be in better condition before getting pregnant again but next month is May and we were going to start trying in May so don't know what to do. I'm scared of getting pregnant and being already 3 kgs over what I feel healthy at.......at my age it's so darn hard to lose! Aaaagh! Guess I should get off my butt then huh!

Hope everyone else is doing well. What's everyone been up to this past week?

Amelia had her first blood nose yesterday, she fell over at my sister's and landed face first on the tiles, poor thing, it's still crusty and bloody today but she won't let me wipe it properly, must be too sore.

Right, gotta run, off to chop up some vegies ready for roast lamb for dinner. It's finally rainy here after 3 months of over 30, it's so nice for a change although I know I'll be whinging of the cold/wet weather soon enough.

xx

Hi Alison - I'm okay. A BB member (RockingBaker) lost her 2 week old little girl last night. There aren't any details, but I suspect it might have been SIDS. There was another member whose daughter was stillborn at 40w4d a couple of weeks ago. It's been a rough year around here and it's only just April!

On the weekend, Kelly posted a thread in the Depression & Anxiety forum with the title "why depressed people stay depressed". It was about Tony Robbins (life coach/motivational speaker) and his idea that people choose to be depressed because it fills some need. She did move the thread to another area and changed the title, but it upset quite a few of us over there. That's what all those posts on FB about losing my safe place were about. Maybe I should just stay in here with you girls...we seem to have our own little bubble and aren't very much affected by what happens on the rest of the site.

Well, Amelia is running around now. She was so frustratingly slow to walk. I knew she could do it, but had to wait for her to realise that herself. But now she's running around, getting into everything. Her sleep has improved too. All 4 molars have cut and now she's mastered walking, so I think she's more relaxed than she ever has been. She's been going down at 7:30-8pm and sleeping until 12-12:30. Then she might be up for an hour max before sleeping until 7-8am. Much better than playing from 11pm-2am. I think she only wakes so she can spend some time with DH.

She is still sleeping in our bed and we have no plans to kick her out just yet. She seems to need someone with her or she wakes up crying. Like last night, after I put Amelia down at 12:30am, DH was about to go to bed and got sidetracked. Amelia woke up screaming, but settled down as soon as he went in there. I think if we just go with it for now, she'll realise that she doesn't really need us, but if she does then she also knows that we will be there for her, ITMS?

I'm not really enjoying work at the moment. It might still be sleep deprivation affecting my brain function. (Even though Amelia is sleeping, I'm not). But I don't know what to do. I think I'd be quite happy as a SAHM but I feel as though I'd be letting my mum down in a way. She always put my studies first and growing up I always knew I'd have a career, but not necessarily a family. Now I find myself wanting to prioritise my family. I want to make a home for DH, Amelia and I (which is why the state of our house bugs me so much). I want to take care of them. But I can't silence the voice in my head that suggests that isn't enough? My mum worked while raising and taking care of us (and she did everything for us) and I feel inadequate for being overwhelmed. And that's with one child, how will I cope with another?

Oh well. I've just signed my contract for another year so I've got some time to work out my priorities. And then there's what we can manage financially. I don't want to put too much pressure on DH. He's not enjoying his job at the moment either and wants to be a SAHD.

BTW, I'm not suggesting in anyway that SAHMs aren't as good as working mums. It's just another example of the high expectations I have for myself. If any one of my friends came to me and told me what I've just said, I'd tell them to stay at home because that's what their heart is telling them. But me? I think I'm just finding my priorities are heading in a direction I had never considered before Amelia and I just need to get my head around that. I'm giving up on the dreams I've had since I was very young.

Oh, there's Amelia now....gotta go. Sorry for no persies. I'm too wrapped up in my own head at the moment to really offer advice/support etc to anyone else.

I hope everyone is well. Rose and beany, I hope you and your boys get over all these bugs soon.

Hi Hannah - oh that's just so sad, how dreadful for that poor mum. I saw some pics on FB of a stillborn yesterday, one of the girls in my November thread knows her and had made a comment hence why I could see it. Assuming it's the same one, was the mum's name Koby or something? Such sad stories lately, not good at all. As for Amelia, like you said just go with the flow, whatever works mate. My Amelia still struggles to self settle if she has a bad night - it might only take me to go in, give her a dummy, pat her on the bum or give her a quick cuddle and she's fine then, goes straight back to sleep - luckily she doesn't do this every night but still, I hear of people who's bubs wake up crying and go back to sleep on their own, that doesn't happen/work very often here. I guess they're all different!

With regards to your work, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I do understand as I've been feeling that way for the past 6 months that I've been back at work. But then again I didn't want to go back in the first place. I don't have anything against anyone working, some need to whether it be for financial reasons or for sanity, but sanity wise while I like aspects of it - ie of course the money, getting dressed into a different type of outfit and catching up with work colleagues and even eating lunch at 12.00 pm without having to share it ha ha.....the rest of it can go jump. I'm really just sticking it out until I'm pregnant again really, DH has had hardly any work on lately so while we are doing ok financially the extra is still helpful. Besides, I'm so used to earning my own money I'm happy to have some spending without having to ask etc. I've never not had my own ever ha ha! But don't beat yourself up about your feelings, they're all very normal ones and you do what is best for you and your family, not your mum. My mum was a working parent as well, but only because she was a single parent to 3 girls so had no choice. She was always around after school when I was younger but once I hit high school she took on normal full time day jobs, mind you, by then I was happy not to have her around when I got home, it meant I could hang with my friends ha ha. But, neither of my sisters who are 10 and 7 years older than me worked, one is a graphic artist so has done some freelance of course but the other one now has a 21 and almost 18 year old and hasn't had a job since she left to have her first! She too makes crafts and sells them but that's not what I consider a normal job, it's more a hobby that pays. I am a bit old fashioned and I really want to be around for my kids while they're so young, I've heard so many people say how fast these years go and you can't get them back, once they're at school you realise the time has just gone by and then you have more time to go back to work if you want to. And I figure if we can afford for me not to work then that's my preference. For now DH enjoys his day at home with Amelia while I go to the office, Wednesday I work at home but it's getting harder having Amelia here, I feel so terrible as I mostly send her off to watch the Wiggles or ABC2 for Kids, or I plonk her in front of some paper with crayons or pens. Of course I play with her and pay attention throughout the day but it's sporadic. So this week I sent her to my sister's, my mum is up from down south and staying there so she asked to have her for the day, I got so much done and they had such a ball. I missed her terribly though, 2 days in a row is tough for me, when I'm not with Amelia I feel like I'm missing a limb.

Anyway, I've gone off on a tangen here, I just wanted you to know that you should do what suits your family best and makes you feel happiest. Life's too short to worry about pleasing others and while money is obviously helpful, we have to remind ourselves occasionally that it's not everything, like these girls who have lost their bubs, if you gave them the option of having their babies back or being rich, it doesn't take a mathematician to know which they'd pick. Oh and as for BB, I don't look at anything else anymore, a lot of the crap that goes on in here disgusts me. I have had a few things with that Kelly girl on FB where she's upset and offended me. I have been made to feel terrible about having a c-section, formula feeding, using a dummy, etc etc., they are very one sided and quite hypocritical. I'm surprised they can keep going with the amount of upsetting people they seem to do these days! Hows that girl not being allowed to put her pic in her ticker because the baby was not alive, if I didn't love talking to you girls so much I would've removed myself from this site after that, utterly disgusting!

Right, now I've had my rant I'm off to bed. Going to Ikea tomorrow, that's always a big tiring day, I just hope Amelia will have her nap in the pram because I highly doubt we'll be back in time, I'm going with mum and my sisters, no such thing as a quick shopping trip with them!

Hi Everyone!
xx

Hey all, Hannah, good to see you on here...I never read outside of here and now my belly buddies group but this sounds awful :( I would avoid negativity if I was you...you don't need that in your life.

As for the work thing. I am like you - I NEVER imagined myself not working! MY mother always worked was always an entrepeneur and my father is as well and the ils too...But once I had Eva I took 6 months off, when I was planning on going back after 3...and that was hard and only because I had to....now that we are selling the company, I am very happy just being home and plan on not really doing much for the moment until DD2 is at least 4/5 months (which is when I plan on starting to think over what I would like to do!)....I can't deal with thinking of leaving Eva in daycare from 730 to 6 so I can have a full time job! Although even as a stay at home mom i would prob still put my children in daycare part time from around a year old or so...what i am saying is that there is no "correct" way to do it...if you would have asked me twobyears ago what i planned i would have said to work...And trust me, I am as career as they get! I am a pretty true New York City girl....

What I think you need to do, is what makes you happy. If DH is unhappy maybe hold out for a bit longer, until he settles into another job that he likes then stop. Your mother will not be disappointed. I am sure that if she could look back at everything she would choose her children as the most substantial thing in her life. If being with your baby is what makes you happy, then do it. You can always work! Taking of a year or a few won't change the fact that you can go out and get a job, but Amelia won't be this age forever. You might enjoy the time with her now, and later when she starts school and settles into a rythm, you might feel the urge to go back to work naturally. No two lives are the same, so don't put pressure on yourself based on something you decided would be right for you at this point before you even reached this point. Like Alison, I agree that being happy is important, for you and your child and your husband. If you feel awful, and can't support DH, Amelia will feel it. If DH is depressed, Amelia will sense it. So just do your best as a team to get everyone to the best place they can be. IT won't be perfect - there is always something we want to change but try taking care of one thing at a time...Maybe stay at work but clean house (organization always makes me feel better for some reason), or help DH start looking for other work then you resign, or go spend a WE somewhere as a family. sometimes we just need to step out of it all for a second to feel better.

Stay off of those negative threads. :)

ALison, well, you're welcome - you do look great :) Enjoy Ikea, we just did our massive shopping spree for Eva's bedroom - we got her a big girl bed with a travel barrier. She came home to find her pink bed with the big leaf canopy over it and ran onto it and was so excited! She got some books and stayed on it reading! Then after dinner I went looking for her and found her there again! This shift mght end up being easier than I hoped for :) Let's see!

AFM, baby turned head down since my last appt 2 weeks ago and is measuring over a week ahead in size (just like Eva was) - DR is happy since he knows I am likely to deliver earlier than my EDD, so bigger size is better for survival :)

DH is out with his business club for dinner, I am going to watch a chick flick and go to bed!

xoxo

Thanks Alison and Brussels.

Alison - Yes Koby is another one who lost her baby. It turns out that the ticker guidelines stated no pics of angel babies were allowed, but nobody questioned it until now. I agree it's so unfair. It should be one rule for everybody. The mods are running a poll to help determine a new guideline. I just can't believe how nasty people get. They get so caught up in semantics and take things out of context instead of showing understanding and accepting that everyone is entitled to their opinion. Emotions are running so high at the moment and I think a lot of people just need to step away from the computer for 5 minutes and actually think before they hit 'submit'. Okay, I'm ranting now lol.

With work, I think I just need to get my head around the fact that my priorities have changed. Even if I was to give it up, I'd still put Amelia in care at least one day per week. It allows her to socialise without me having to see people. And she loves it so much (it's a push to get a wave when I drop her off in the morning) I don't think I could take it away from her.

How was your trip to Ikea? Did you spend big?


BS - You're so right that what is right for our families now will change over time. Statisticians are always in demand so I don't think I'd have any issues getting back into the workforce if I was to take a few years off. But then, the field changes so much and I'd have to keep up somehow. Maybe staying at home would be bearable if I'm disciplined enough to keep up some study. I've been making a real effort to keep work at work this week and I think that's helping.

I brought up the idea of hiring a cleaner to come in once a week or fortnight, just to take some of the pressure off. I could cope with tidying and decluttering if someone else was to take care of the bathroom, kitchen and dusting. Driving home after work yesterday I was sitting behind a car that had advertising for a cleaning company on it. Then this morning, I was behind them again! I think it's a sign.

Wow, that's great that Eva loves her new bed so much already. Should make for an easy transition. And :happydance: for bubs being head down and a good size. Not long to go now.


As you probably know from FB, Amelia slept through last night! The only times she's ever done that were after her first 2 osteo appointments and she was 5 months old then. I put her down around 8. She woke at 9:15 crying, so I went in to lay with her. She settled again and the next thing I knew it was 2:20 :o. I panicked slightly at first, like I woke up and didn't know where I was. First I'd just had 5 hours straight of sleep. Second, Amelia hadn't woken me up and was still sleeping soundly. I couldn't get back to sleep, but it doesn't matter. I got some quiet time to myself to actually enjoy the fact that my daughter was sleeping! I just hope it continues.

Hi Hannah - I was so happy for you when I saw your FB post about Amelia sleeping through! How fantastic! Isn't it ironic that you wake up in a panic, I've been doing that a lot lately because Amelia has been sleeping pretty crap the last couple of months with sickness after sickness, this last week she's started sleeping through again and I've been waking about 3am (her usual wake time) expecting her to do the same, it's crazy ha ha! DH is away again tonight, down at the farm yet again finishing off the dam before the rain comes, for some reason she tends to wake up when he's not here, like murphy's law. We had a big day at Ikea too, she missed her usual sleep - of course she only slept 30 mins in the pram so I hope it doesn't come back and bite me in the bottom tonight, sometimes she ends up sleeping worse when she's had little sleep and a full on day. I hope not though! The cleaning van - OMG - definitely a sign, I hope you wrote the number down!!! I could do with a cleaner, I just don't have the time and that's only working 2 days a week, argh!

As for what I bought at Ikea, BS will laugh at this. I saw the cutest bed canopies, they're leaves and then I thought - I think Aya said she had these for Eva! ha ha so sorry I think I copied if they're the same ones. They are super cute though and will go perfectly for when I do up Amelia's next bedroom, I'll use them when she goes into her big girls bed later in the year but they go perfect with her owl theme. Then I got home and saw your pics BS and noticed I also bought the green table and pink chairs that Eva has too hee hee! How cute are they! Amelia loves to draw so thought it would be perfect, we really need to move as I've run out of room for her stuff that's for sure. I only got 2 chairs for now but will get a couple more later.....the green and pink matches her owl doona (again for her big girls bed) perfectly so will great in her room down the track! That place is dangerous, all day and spending dollars later.....lol.

Hope everyone is well and has a great weekend!
xx

lololol- Alison, we do have all the same stuff! I even got her that pink bed, so she has a pink bed, with those bright sheets you saw her sitting on in my fb pics, then the green leaf thing (that was such a massive hit! she kept looking up at it and reaching up to it as if it was just the coolest thing ever invented! We got her a series of closets from ikea too in all bright colors pink, green blue :) that room is going to be pretty damn cool - she shoul dbe proud of it, which is what we are hoping eases the transition :)

Thoise chairs and table are great - I got two stools because the stools are actually better for adults since the chairs with the backs don't support weight well on the backrest - so she has two backed chairs and two stools, which I am sure she will start using more as she gets bigger - but you'll see she will love them. Eva has a whole crafts box with stamps, stickers, markers, crayons etc...she sits for an hour at a time just designing on paper after paper (they also have a cool pack of multicolored paper at Ikea). The rest of the furniture we are getting is more designer-ish stuff...we were going to get a very cool designer bed but finally decided Eva would appreciate the pink one more...we have to think for our kids, not for ourselves ;)

Hannah, great to hear yous ounding a bit better! The cleaning service is a sign! I have a housecleaner and must say it is really nice. IT is a luxury to have but one of those things where, I get home everything is shiny and clean and I go, god, this is so worth it! At least to get to the toilets and kitchen and stuff that is really physical...Organization is up to you...nothing to do about that, but to have someone keeping the place in proper order so you can get to the organization, that is key!

I am glad you seem to be getting some perspective on everything. D on't compare yourself with others and don't care what people think. Since I had Eva I only care what she thinks! :) You're a great mum and yuo really are good at going at her pace and doing what is good for her, so don't worry so much about decisions like this, just be sure not to forget what you want in the process :) - it is great that she loves daycare so much - Eva does too but cries every morning when we leave (until we are out of her vision, then she just stops - i keep telling myself she just loves us so much she wants us to stay all day...lol). I think that even if you stop working it is nice to take a day or two for yourself to be more efficient to take care of yourself, to read, to study, to organize, whatever!

Today when I dropped Eva off at DC the lady was chatting with me a bit and she tols me that Eva is such a darling, so calm and so intelligent. I was so happy to hear that. She told me she found her the other day in bed tucking in her doll and playing with her...she was saying that it is very early for role playing games (Eva has been doing this since about 1yr) - she remarked about how much she loves books, how great she is at playing all by herself and entertaining herself, how gentle she is - non aggressive with other children etc...I was really happy to hear all of these nice things :) I don't know what is normal sinc eI have nothing to necessarily compare to. One of the things I like about DC is that she does build a strong individual personality, and I can see how she is when I am not around, so I was really happy to see that she seems to be doing really well. She really has great days in DC, apart from two minutes of crying when I walk out, I never get complaints about her and I always pick her up playing and happy. I remember being so worried about putting her in DC at first and this sort of stuff helps to reassure me so much...just a side note :)

Ok, Going back into Eva's new room to finish organizing closets! I love setting up new rooms!

xoxo

hee hee BS sorry to be a copycat but I think our girls are going to have fab rooms, Eva's sounds amazing!!!! I bought 2 of the leave canopies as they had them displayed over the bed and looked so cool! :p I think I might get 2 stools, my friend has those as well for the same reason, good idea! Oh that is so sweet about Eva role playing, don't you just love that. Funnily enough Amelia is very much the same, in fact, my mum was just saying today that it's like she's been here before the way she does things. She carries her dolly around, feeds her, puts her in her dolly stroller and puts a blanket on her, gorgeous. I wonder if it's because we have dogs? Sounds weird but Amelia is so smitten with our dogs, she is always cuddling them and sharing her food with them, they are getting fat. I often wonder if it helps to teach them about sharing and caring??I wish you lived here, I would so love to get together and have a good chat about everything. xx

Hi Girls! It's been nearly a month since I last posted and I don't seem to have been getting notifications again. Just spent ages reading through to catch up and now it's bed time so no time to write persies or the big long post I've been meaning to write :( But I'll be back tomorrow hopefully to post, got lots to tell you girls.
MWAH!

Alison, I know - I wish I was closer to you girls :) The role playing thing is the same here, Eva feeds her, puts her to bed, covers her with a blanket and her favorite is putting accessories on her! The room will be fab - I'll post some pics once we are done - It should be in order by the end of this WE - not fully done, but the basic stuff should be in place. I do think the dog helps...Eva also feeds the dog and pets her all the time...sometimes she runs after her, not realizing my dog does not like that and since I am always telling her to be gentle, she does learn to be. I hope that training comes in handy for the baby :) I can't wait until you start TTC ! I am sure Amelia will be an amazing sister !

Suz! Hiiiiiiii!!!! Well, waiting for your post! We have all been MIA or not posting much...

Great news! Eva had her first pee by herself on the potty today!!!!! We leave it in the bathroom and since she walks around naked before her bath, during which time she usually pees somewhere in the bathroom, we just tell her casually to pee in there next time and clean up the mess like nothing happened. Today she went to sit on it on her own - she kept standing and sitting but over the potty, then sat and peed and got up to show us! We made a whole big huge deal about it of course!!!!! I will keep it in the bathroom and see if this happens again and if so, I am launching operation potty! YAY!

Hey, I'm not getting notifications! Grrr...

BS - Thanks for the advice. It was completely an issue of mine, the way I reacted to Michael's aggressiveness. Immediately I regretted being so forceful. But I guess, looking at it in a positive light, its made me address how I react to him a lot more. I'm really being a lot more calmer and softer in general. Its really made me think. Your bedroom for Eva sounds gorgeous!! You have such great taste, I love how everything is so colourful. I must say, you influenced my decision to use a lot of bright colours in Michael's play room! :) Thats lovely to hear those nice things about Eva. It must make you just feel like bursting with pride! And whats this...peeing in a potty already!!! Gees, she's not one for waiting around, she likes to get on with it all, doesn't she?! :lol: When do you think you'll try her in her big-girl bed?

Alison - Yaaaay! Trying in May?? Oooh, how exciting! :dance: Are you going to chart again, or just leave it to chance? I saw the pics of Amelia, poor little sweetheart. I hope she's fully recovered now. The cooler weather has been sooooo lovely, hasn't it? I had my flannelette pj's and the quilt on last night...heaven! Those table & chairs sound lovely from Ikea! Hmm...might have to check them out myself! ;) Have you already bought Amelia's big bed? Where did you get yours from? I think you're right, I think having dogs around definitely teaches them about awareness of others and the like, just like having big cuddly brothers & sisters really!!

Hannah - I too wondered if everything was ok...sorry to hear about the post from Kelly. She really can be a bit inconsiderate some times. My subscription to the depression forum expired a while ago so I haven't seen what the post was, but from your description it doesn't exactly sound like the kind of thing people with depression need to read!! For heavens sake. But like the others, I usually mainly stick to our little group, sometimes might check out one or two other favourite threads of mine (baby equipment, cooking, and baby & toddler general usually), and thats about it. Soooo sad to hear about that poor girl who lost her baby so early :( Glad to hear Amelia's sleeping is improving at least. How are you going with your vit D deficiency? Have you noticed much difference sicne being on the supplement? As for the work situation...I think your mum would probably just want you to do whatever makes you happy, don't you think? I agree with BS - hopefully if your DH settles in his work or maybe finds a new job perhaps you can stay home? And I can sympathise with the lack of brain-power. I'm not sleep deprived and I'm making some horrendous mistakes at work & finding it really hard to concentrate and understand things 100%, its all deeply embarrasing for me who thrives on accuracy and rule-following. Its really knocked my confidence about. Oh, and with the cleaning - definitely a sign!!! Go for it! I think it will give you a well-deserved break, even if you just do it for a few weeks...see how it goes.

Suz - Hellloooooo! Looking forward to hearing all your news! :)

AFM - Michael is sick AGAIN!!! Arghhh! This time we actually think he must have picked this up at Daycare, as there isn't really anywhere else he coudl have. Its just a cold for the moment, but affects his eating and sleeping. Plus he's teething like a maniac...drooling like he hasn't since he was about 9 months old, he even has the red chapped cheeks!! Now he hasn't had them for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaages! I think its his top molars still making their way down, they're about 40% out I reckon. Very slow progress with these ones.

Beany - aren't these molars just the worst??? Matilda has two coming through on the right and its really the first time I feel like there's been a major impact on her. And poor Michael getting sick again. They seem to get these bad runs and it takes such a toll.

Hannah - sounds like the rest of the site is becoming very political. It's sad people can't feel free to be open and that a diversity of views aren't being tolerated. I was looking at some other threads recently and found myself not posting sometimes because I didn't think what I had to say would "fit in" with the dominant views. Silly really that we should feel like that. Just avoid them if they're making you feel bad and stick to our thread. Our thread is so not judgemental. But that is so fantastic that Amelia slept through! But I can totally relate to not sleeping yourself! I'm the same. I keep waking up around 3 whether Matilda wakes up or not. It drives me nuts. And give up work if you want. It's a special thing to be able to stay at home with your kids if you have that chance. I know it's easier said than done because our generation of girls were brought up with the expectation that we would have careers and our self esteem has got so tied up with it. I struggle with it from time too time because I've made the decision to stay at home but then I remember this has been the happiest 18 months of my life.

BS - isn't this nesting instinct insane? I couldn't indulge in it last time because my neck and back was so bad and I knew that we would be moving house anyway. But I'm feeling quite obsessed about getting organised this time round. I keep poring over the IKEA catalogue and I'm planning a big shop up this week. Eva's room sounds perfect! She certainly thinks so by the sounds of it! And how great to get all that praise from the carer. It's always nice to know we're not just being biased mummies.

Alison - hee, hee, funny that you and BS have picked out the same stuff on opposite sides of the globe. So have you decided to keep working until you're pregnant? And don't worry at all about the 3kg. I'd just wait until all the babies are done and dusted and then worry about it. In 5 years you'll have forgotten you had an extra 3kg on. And I want you to have another one LOL!! And just for the record you're looking fantastic anyway!

Suz - nice to see you! Just pop on and let us know what's going on with you. Don't worry about catching up with persies!

Hi everyone else! Kanda how's that belly going?

AFUS - well I'm hoping that when these molars are done doing their business that Matilda will magically sleep 11-12 hours at night and 1-2 hours during the day. I don't know if its her teeth or she's just a crap sleeper but the early wake ups are wearing thin and we've been getting a bit of night waking again too around 1-3am. Anyway, I'll try and get on again to write a bit more news tomorrow. My neck is killing me tonight. Very worried that I re-injured it today.