Just checking in to see how you're going Lani?? Hope you're ok can't be on long I have a cranky coughing squirming baby on my lap he needs to sleep but is fighting it! I'll come back later when/if I can get him to sleep
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Just checking in to see how you're going Lani?? Hope you're ok can't be on long I have a cranky coughing squirming baby on my lap he needs to sleep but is fighting it! I'll come back later when/if I can get him to sleep
Thanks willow. We were up every 45mins to hour last night so I am buggered.
I hope u can get your little one to sleep.
Got to run he is crying again.
Oh Lani I wasn't logged on last night I'm so sorry, did you get some sleep last night beautiful? I wish I had've logged on, we could've chatted, I was up most of the night with Amelia again, this darn cold, I thought it was going as she slept all night the previous but no, she's blocked up again and now has a cough. Anyway, this isn't about me. How are you today? I think DH needs to step up mate, no offence but he sounds like he's being horrible and that is not what being a father is all about. Bottle or no bottle, he can still help by taking him off your hands so you can have a nice bath or something, that's what I do - I go and have a 30 minute bath and just read or chill, it does wonders for the battered soul I tell you. Also, your friends wouldn't mind, well, I know I wouldn't, that's what friends are for, to help out in times of need, there must be someone you know you can rely on, even just to chat to no matter what time of the night it is. I think you need to tell DH how you're feeling, you shouldn't be doing this alone, you're in it together!
As for weaning off the breast, not sure what to tell you because obviously Amelia has been on the bottle for a while now, one of my friends from mums group has the same issue as you. Her baby who is nearly 8 months old will not take a bottle, never has so she can't go anywhere or do anything on her own either. She's tried everything. One thing she will take is a sippy cup, have you tried expressing into a sippy cup? You could even try formula as maybe it will fill him up more. My friend's bub won't take formula so she's still feeding every couple of hours and once or twice through the night too. She too felt like you did at one point but luckily with our support and her DH's support she got through it and is feeling ok with it now. She looked at it this way, at 12 months food becomes their main source so she is hoping weaning off the boob will be much easier as they don't need/want the milk so much then. She is currently in Melbourne (that's where she's from originally) visiting family but I'll send her an FB message and ask her if she has any advice and other tips for you as she seems much much happier these days so maybe she's worked out a way around it. In fact, I don't remember seeing her BF at mums group lately so that might be a good sign!
Hang in there, we're here for you, never feel alone and I'm happy to give you my phone number, if you ever want to call to chat, I don't care what time it is, I am more than happy to help whereever I can, sometimes we might not have the solution but just talking can help. Let me know if you want my number and I'll send you a private FB message or something. Take care and it will get better, sometimes we just really bad days, but there's more great ones, remember that. xx
Hi Lani,
:hug: I'm sorry I didn't see your post until today. I hope you got some more sleep last night and that DH is being more helpful. My DH is the same, he won't do anything unless I ask. We shouldn't have to ask. For some reason men seem to think that because we're the ones with the boobs that there's nothing they can do for our babies!
Any chance you can do what the girls suggested and leave Jett with someone for an hour or two? Even if you feed Jett, then tell DH he's in charge of nappies etc. while you run a bath and relax. You need a chance to recharge.
Weaning can be done quickly or slowly. You can wean to formula and the bottle, or expressing and the bottle. BS, Alison and Beany probably have the most experience with this. I was NEVER able to get Craig to take a bottle, so I had to wean him slowly. Solids was the key. I offered solids at least an hour after a BF. Keep offering the spoon until your bub refuses to eat anymore. We ended up with a routine a lot like the one Alison posted with 4 - 5 BFs each day. When Craig was 9 months old, the MACH nurses got me to start offering the BF straight after food, which moved it down to 3 BFs. Then I swapped the lunch BF for a cup of water, then the same for Breakfast and finally the bedtime feed for a cup of cows milk (he was 11 months old by this stage).
Something I was considering trying with Ryan, was to replace the bedtime feed every night with a bottle and expressed milk. My plan was to get DH to give him the bottle. But I read online that a baby only needs to do bottle feeds a couple of times a week to keep their 'bottle skills' up, so I decided not to replace it full-time. Plus, I have a friend who tried to replace a feed or two with a bottle and her boy started refusing the breast and completely weaned himself. I'm not ready for that!
To get Ryan to take the bottle, I waited until 1/2 hour before his last feed was due, so he wasn't starving. I tried several different positions, including him in his highchair facing me. You can try leaving the room and giving the bottle to DH. Be patient, it was 45 minutes before Ryan drank the bottle. He was starting to get sleepy, so it became like a 'dream-feed'.
Don't worry if Jett won't take a bottle, that doesn't mean you can't leave him with someone. It sounds cruel, but he will survive missing a BF. When I went to SATC2, DH had a bottle ready for Ryan but he decided to fall asleep, so DH put him in his cot and he woke up when I got home (and I fed him then). So some bubs will hold out until Mum gets home. If Jett won't take a bottle, then you can get DH or your babysitter to try a sippy cup, spoon or syringe. But if he's eating solids, then they can always give him some food to tide him over.
I really hope that there's something here that you can try that will help you have a night off or to get DH to be more hands on :hug:
I agree with Suzi one that, as mean as it sounds at their age they can be distracted for a while before they're desperate for a feed. If you know he's been fed well before you leave him with someone (DH, man up!) he will be ok if he's amused while you're gone. I think at this point even an hour or two of me time will do you wonders!:
Alison was right too this is only for a short time, I know it doesn't feel like it now (I'm feeling the same) but in a few months the boob will be a little less of the top priority for them. It is really hard at times but it will get better. :hug:
I wish DH would help you more! Well last night he said "what can I do?" I think it's time you told him exactly what he can do and then make him do it! Is he nervous or not confident being alone with Jett? He needs to just do it and get over it, he'll be ok once he knows he can do it.
I have to go Harry just won't sleep either I'm still in my pyjamas and I've got carpet layers coming at 12pm to measure up, I haven't eaten yet either so I might have to put him in the ergo and see if I can eat and tidy up a little before the carpet guys get here they need to measure some of the rooms we're living in ow and I've got no idea how they're going to do it cos there's crap everywhere!! DP told me last night that they were coming so no time to attempt a tidy up grrrrr.
Oh Lani, I'm sorry to hear your having a rough time atm :hug: I think you really need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your DH, explain to him that you need a break every now and then, you're tired and you'd love him to help out a bit more. And, even just an hour a day will work wonders. Raising a baby is a 2 person job, you need to share the responsibility and it really sounds like he's not pulling his weight. You're not asking much. I did a similar thing, I said to him that I need a break, I need some 'me time' and that I'd like him to look after Michael for a few hours over a weekend, to give me chance to either do things around the house, or go shopping. It works out quite well as he usually takes him to see his parents while I do whatever I like! I'm afraid I can't really help with the weaning advice, Michael went to bottle when he was only 2 weeks old :cry:, he was that starving by then that he guzzled it down, he didn't care that it was from a bottle. But I think Suz has given you some great tips there.
Alison - I'm aiming to get Michael's routine exactly the same as yours. Its kind of heading that way. I think the key is to get him to sleep a bit later in the morning, which pushes out each of his sleeps, eliminating the need for that 3rd one. That happened yesterday, tho there was hell to pay late arvy as he was cranky as. But that might have been cos I kept him home and maybe he got a bit bored. oooh, never thought of doing peas. Thats an idea. Tho it will totally gross me out making it...I HATE peas with vengeance! How'd your pumpkin soup go?
BS - that video of Eva trying to crawl is fantastic!! She's gonna be zooming around before you know it! Then we're on to the next scary stage!
AFM - not much to tell. Another night of waking every hour (at least) from midnight onwards - feel so tired and headachey today :( But on the positive side, I did manage to push him out to a 7am get-up. I dont' know what the heck I'm doing wrong here, why is he still like this?? :(
Rang the playgroup leader yesterday, she seemed nice over the phone. But I get the impression that it was originally a mothers group 4.5 years ago who have formed a playgroup, and now most of them have 2 kids. so I think I might be the only one with one. I thought it odd that she said something like "just come down for a trial and see how you go. I remember I was a bit overwhelmed when I was around older mums and babies when I had my first"...sooo...I dunno if she's hinting that I won't like it or what. But I'm beginning to think that way. I dunno, I guess I'll go next week and see how it goes.
Thank you sooo much for all your support. What would I do without you all. I had a big cry and talk to DH last night early hours of this morning and he said he doesn't know what he can do to help cause I have the boobs. Told him that is only a portion of jetts demands and he said oh well I will try and help. Let's see if he does. Until we had Jett DH had never held a baby before. He is very scared of holding babies. He won't bath as he is scared too.
Thanks for all the tips Suz I will give some a go.
Jett has been a sleep for over 2hrs now. I layed down for about 20mins then had a shower and did some cleaning.
We have 6mth injections this afternoon so I may chat to the dr about how I am feeeling.
I had jetts 6mth clinic check yesterday and there are a few things the nurse was concerned about. She Is referring me to someone to check out his eyes as one turns in slightly, he has a flat head, his head has jumped from the 50th percentile to 90th percentile so that is supposedly too much. He has excema and also cause of his reaction to formula.
Yesterday Jett was 8.8kg and 69cm long.
Well I feel a little better after a little break this morning. Thanks soo much for all your support.
Hey Lani glad you had a talk with DH, he'll be ok once he gets more confident, it won't take long, my DP was the same had never held a little baby before but he's a pro now, I understand it can be scary for them but right now it's tough titties!!! He's going to get confident rally fast now like by tomorrow! :D
Don't stress too much about the MACH nurses concerns, as for the head, flat heads are more common now than they used to be, a lot of it is coming from car capsules and the travel system prams just if they're in them too long they can encourage a flat spot as they have limited head movement in them. That along with back sleeping now with soft little skulls it can mould them a bit flat but usually with a bit of chiro/physio/osteo and or just changing a few daily things with limiting them being on their backs it's easily fixed. Not sure how the jump in size fits in there though will be interested to hear what they say maybe to do with how his head has grown in relation to the head symmetry? Hmmm...or maybe just a growth spurt!? I'm sure he'll be fine!
But will be good for you to find out why he reacted to the formula.
Better keep going check in later.
Hi Lani - glad you're feeling a little better today and had a nice talk to DH. Stick to your guns, any break is a break, even if it's just 15 minutes for a quick bath. We all have to remind them to be more hands on occasionally so you're not alone there. Good luck with Jett's appointment today, he'll be fine with his needles, he might sleep and you can have a nice break. As for his health check, maybe he needs the room in his head for his big brains! I wouldn't worry, my nephew was told his head was too big, he had a massive noggen when he was a baby, he's totally fine now, 20 and thriving and very very very smart! xx
Hi Beany - yep, get that first morning nap going later, I try and make Amelia last to 9.30 if I can and then she sleeps until 11/11.30.....they do say if they are going to have one shorter and one longer nap the arvo one should be the longer but Amelia sleeps the same both, anywhere from 1.5 to 2 hours. You will just have to keep him entertained, I found it draining the first few days having to literally sit on the floor and play (instead of having a shower or getting dinner lol) or go for a walk etc but after a few days he'll be able to last on his own without getting cranky, just keep at it. You'll find it will help, everyone I know who has dropped the 3rd nap has found their sleeping has improved. Good luck and keep me posted!
AFM - well another bad night for me, Amelia woke every hour until 1.00 am, either because of her nose or because she is coughing - I think the mucus is tickling her throat. I finally got her to stay asleep and DH started snoring and coughing (grrrrrr so annoying) - he has a bit of her cold and I think I might too but I feel fine. She seems happy enough today but night time she's struggling. I just want this cold to be gone, I mean, I hate having broken sleep but I feel more for her, it's awful seeing her struggling to breathe, I suffer terrible blocked noses when I get sick so I just feel awful I seemed to have passed on the sh*tty sinuses. She still manages a smile however, cutie pie. Well, Waybuloo has finished (her fave on ABC2) so I'll feed her now. Hope you all have a lovely day today.
xx
Hey everyone!
Lani, I will go into one of my loooong posts for you! lol
Ok first issue - DH - it is totally natural for him to be uncomfortable - my DH had never held a baby before either and was scared out of his mind ESPECIALLY in the bath! I don't care how scared he was, and I made him do it, but I stayed behind him helping him and talking to him - In the hospital the nurses show the parents how to bathe their newborns and I told DH to go, which gave me time to shower, and him the comfort of learning with a nurse...Eva's baths for probably the first month were the two of us in the bathroom with him doing it and me coaching and helping out with the tricky stuff (like if she needed to be dressed and was complaining - DH gets more stressed than I do when she is whining - but not so much anymore)...so here is my suggestion (and let me say, the fact that he says tell me what to do does redeem him a bit - no need to be too hard on him - he just needs to be taught what to do). I would talk to DH about taking over the bath - 1st it is a huge bonding experience and soon when Jett is bigger, nothing will be more fun than playing with his father during bathtime. Tell DH that in that way - so he will be excited for this fun father/son time...my DH is counting down for when she is bigger and can sit alone and he already has loads of fun with her when he gives her her bath (which is prob twice or three times a week at the mo)...Then go in there with him. Help him patiently do it and show him how to handle Jett, and what needs to be cleaned and how...and if Jett complains, explaing that it is normal and that he should sing or whatever it is that works to make him happy. Stay with DH giving the baths for about two weeks. It will also give you both time together, and eventually, leave DH to do it alone, but stay within earshot so he can call you if he is stressed or unsure of himself or if he needs help or a towel or if he forgot something etc...the key is just staying with him until he gets comfortable. At the beginning my DH used to handle Eva so carefully and be nervous about cleaning her girly stuff, and I just kept telling him, you have to do it, she is a girl and it is important she be clean - it was awkward for him which is normal, but now he handles her like a pro. My DH is super hands on though and spends every second he can with her, so I never have to ask him to step up, but the bath thing and diapers, is not natural for them, so even my DH who wanted to learn from the beginning, had issues. My DH won't pump her nose - he can't because it stresses him - there are some things we can do that they just never can be comfortable with (like taking temp anally or suppositories - my Dh cannot handle that!).
For the weaning, I weaned later than the other ff girls, at four months, but remember that for Eva the reflux also made her prefer formula eventually. But what I did, was get her used to bottles of breastmilk first so she understood that food can come from the bottle. Her first bottle took her 5/6 tries and about 45 minutes to take - don't lose your patience, just keep trying. He will take it if he is hungry and don't feel too bad if he cries - he will not die if he is a bit hungry at this age. Once he realizes there is food in there he will guzzle it down because it also comes out faster in a bottle. He is older and can comprehend things. Once he takes a bottle of pumped milk, try to switch one afternoon feed to the bottle of breastmilk (the annoying thing with this is the pumping, but you will be so happy to be able to share the feeding so just do your best to pump regularly)...I could not do her night or morning feeds with a bottle at first because she was way too hungry and needed the confort of the breast at night. Eventually you add one more for a week, then one more etc...have you figured out what his issue with formula is? Is it an option? If he has allergies I am not sure what you can do as far as that goes, but you can beef up your breastmilk with rice cereal which will hold him over longer. Slowly is the key especially with a baby who won't take the bottle...I switched over in two weeks to complete FF, but Eva liked it better since it irritated her less. Good luck and keep us posted. Feel free to ask anything you want to know...
Willow, good luck getting everything in order for the carpeting!
Alison, that poor thing...it sucks when they inherit bad stuff from us, makes us feel so guilty! It will pass...Winter is difficult as far as colds go, just keep her feet and head warm...
Beany, I am not sure the playgroup will be bad, I would actually take it as a good thing to see mothers with two kids, since you can really see ahead how to handle Michael when he is a toddler...I am sure it will be fine. Don't getyour head in a knot before going because you'll be stressed about it and not enjoy it :) I saw on fb that michael is doing the backwards slide...hahah! you're next it looks like, get ready for baby proofing!
Suz, Hi!
Ok, I'm off!
xoxo
Hi everyone,
Lani, I'm just reading through all of the girls' responses to your dilemma. I agree with them all and just want to say that we all have your back. This motherhood thing is easily the best but the hardest thing we'll ever do. It's not fair that you have to be on your bed crying at night and I hope that you can find a solution soon with DH. I am also BFing full-time and understand how hard it can be - especially if bub won't take expressed milk from the bottle. I think that BS's suggestion of telling DH that bathtime etc can be father/son time is a good idea - how do you feel about that? If you can at least take some of the everyday tasks off your plate and pass them on to DH you'll start to feel better. A big hug to you.
Everyone else - I'm so tired so won't do persies. Just hoping you're all doing well, and Alison, I hope you have a better night tonight.
ATM - I just flew back into Sydney after having a week with my parents up north. Was just what the doctor ordered. Jack got to spend time with his doting grandparents, I got to relax and DH got to have some time away from me, which I think was a good thing. I think he was really missing me (and Jack, of course!), which made me feel better.
Oh, and I decided to do something totally selfish - I joined my old triathlon club so I'm training a few times a week. That means that DH has to feed/bath/bed Jack every Thursday night. The other times are mornings so it's not such a big deal. I just give him the boob before I go and then top him up when I get home. I can't wait for this!
Night girls. x
Good to hear Carmey, sometimes they don't realize what they have until they are staring at their own feet on the coffee table for a few nights in a row ;)
Put up some new pics of Jack! I want updates :)
Hi Carmey - yay for you, I'm pleased you've joined your old triathlon club, I think it's important we do things without bubs, although I'm struggling to want to leave Amelia for too long - I just miss her so much! I want to get back into my singing soon though so that will give me a good excuse to make an effort for myself.
Hi Lani - how are you feeling today? Like everyone has said, start with something to assign to DH like the bath, my DH comes home from work and he basically takes over to be honest. He gives Amelia her bath (sometimes if he's late home or something I'll do it), then he feeds her (obviously she's on a bottle) and then he and I both put her to bed together. While he's doing that I either get dinner organised (unless he's cooking as well) or I take a bath, I did that tonight because I'm pretty pooped with being up a lot this week with Amelia and I read a book. I've decided to do this a few times a week, I always worried about wasting water with all the restrictions etc we get here but I thought, stuff it and do it. It gives DH and Amelia bonding time and me some "me" time. I love to read and realised I have not picked up one single book since going on maternity leave - I used to read on the train to and from work. I'm loving it - I got Patrick Swayze's and Lisa Niemi's autobiography for my birthday so I'm getting stuck into that at the mo. I've just ordered a book on baby sign language too, it's the next book to the one I read when I was pregnant, it's by the people who's routine I followed etc. I'm looking forward to reading it. Rose thanks for telling me about that book depository place in the UK, I get ALL my books from them now, so cheap and free postage, awesome!
Well, today I skipped mums group, didn't want to pass on any germs to other bubs and one of the girls is pregnant again, instead I went shopping with my mum and sister - we went when Amelia is normally due a sleep, I'm finding she only sleeps properly in the cot but I want her to get used to sleeping in the pram etc again as I don't want to become one of these who never goes out unless she's awake. She only had 30 mins in the pram but she was fine, she lasted until 6.45 pm without getting cranky, not bad considering she's got a cold as well, my little gem. I'm praying for a better night tonight, I am desperate for a decent night's sleep. I think I'm getting her cold, my nose is feeling a bit yuk and I have a bit of a headache, oh well, I'd rather me have it than her, at least I can knock myself out with Sudafed or something lol!
Have a great night all.
xx
Hi girls,
Lani I hope you're feeling a bit better today and DH is starting to help out a bit.
Alison It sux when they're sick! Harry's got cold number 2 as well he's cough is much worse than the last one and he wakes every time he coughs at night, although through the day he seems to cough and stay asleep or re settle himself, which is strange.
Carmey Good on you for getting back into the triathlon...oh but you make me feel so lazy! :D Glad you had a nice time away a break is always a good thing when times are strained, I think anyway. It can help to clarify some feelings.
Beany Good luck with the play group, I think you either get great groups or terrible ones, in my experience. I was put off them altogether when I had DS1, the mothers were horrible, condescending & patronising, I think because I was quite young then and I never went near another group like that until the boys were in primary school. A few of us from the school, and my neighbour started having coffee mornings, and added a few new mums each week or so and it was great! So it really depends on the group. That sounded terrible, sorry not wanting to turn you off that was just my experience, just when you said about her comment that you thought was a bit odd sent me back, she may be just being nice though, I shouldn't be so negative.
Go Michael with the backwards slither! :D Oh and as for the dressing for the blue egg, I haven't worked that out yet, I think ideally you are supposed to heat the room to the best temp, but we're not using the central heating at the moment with the extension happening and I don't have a heater for the bedroom. Seeing as we're still sharing the room at the moment, and I co sleep with the 2 hourly feeds ( or more frequent sometimes) I have worked out that if the egg is at about 16.5/17 at bed time that it will end up blue by the wee hours so I don't bother with the bag I just have him in bed with me. Usually I have him in his bag in his own space on the bed, but if the bag isn't going to be arm enough I'd rather know he was cosy in the bed. Once the extension is done and he has his own room, I'll use the bag all the time and heat the room.
BS How's the crawling going? She'll be off having adventures in no time! :D
Suzi Sounds like you had a good time away. As for DTD can't help you there, we have had NO time or opportunity to even try! Between sharing the bedroom with Harry, teenagers in and out, the ILs and contractors here most days there has been no time day or night to try.
Gotta go Harry's coughing and the phone's ringing...
Ha! Well there was my mistake!!!! He slept for an hour then woke up coughing would re settle with or without me and hasn't slept since. He also won't let me put him down unless I sit with him.:
Kawa Sounds like the business is taking off and doing well quickly! That's excellent!! :D How you going with the bleeding and weird body feeling?
Well I had Harry in the high chair with a spoon, a rusk and a dollop of Greek yoghurt while I ate and typed with one hand and he's had enough so gotta go.
yeh still weird bleeding. still feel odd, its weird i feel pregnant almost. very odd
but im not lol
yeh its taking off slowly..
im still waiting for teh website to be activated.. :(
markets are going good alot of interest.
maree is doing that aswell, wakes up coughing will re settled then 30 min later wakes up startled and wont let me put her down
Gosh Willow and Kawa, we all have the same thing! It's so draining isn't it! Are your bubs coughs dry as well? Amelia only seems to cough when she's lying down so I'm wondering if it's the phlegm running down her throat and tickling it. Honestly, TMI but I can smell the mucus on her Grobag and pjs by the morning, it's gross and she wakes up with dry snot on her face and even in her hair, what she has of it! I just want this to end, grrr!
Hi Alison The last cold Harry had was like that dry cough and it was mostly the phlegm running down his throat, but this one is more of a chest cold with the yucky wet chunky cough, poor little man:( he rattles when he breathes. Both DS 1&2 have it as well and we went to my sisters for dinner the other night and I think every one there was sick with the same thing too, so no wonder he's come down with it.
Poor Amelia :( Harry was like that with the last one, and it only took 2 nose wipes with a tissue for him to develop the tissue aversion! LOL now he sees a tissue and turns his head to get away! Amazing how so much snot can come out of such a little baby hey!