Hi Lani,

I'm sorry I didn't see your post until today. I hope you got some more sleep last night and that DH is being more helpful. My DH is the same, he won't do anything unless I ask. We shouldn't have to ask. For some reason men seem to think that because we're the ones with the boobs that there's nothing they can do for our babies!

Any chance you can do what the girls suggested and leave Jett with someone for an hour or two? Even if you feed Jett, then tell DH he's in charge of nappies etc. while you run a bath and relax. You need a chance to recharge.

Weaning can be done quickly or slowly. You can wean to formula and the bottle, or expressing and the bottle. BS, Alison and Beany probably have the most experience with this. I was NEVER able to get Craig to take a bottle, so I had to wean him slowly. Solids was the key. I offered solids at least an hour after a BF. Keep offering the spoon until your bub refuses to eat anymore. We ended up with a routine a lot like the one Alison posted with 4 - 5 BFs each day. When Craig was 9 months old, the MACH nurses got me to start offering the BF straight after food, which moved it down to 3 BFs. Then I swapped the lunch BF for a cup of water, then the same for Breakfast and finally the bedtime feed for a cup of cows milk (he was 11 months old by this stage).

Something I was considering trying with Ryan, was to replace the bedtime feed every night with a bottle and expressed milk. My plan was to get DH to give him the bottle. But I read online that a baby only needs to do bottle feeds a couple of times a week to keep their 'bottle skills' up, so I decided not to replace it full-time. Plus, I have a friend who tried to replace a feed or two with a bottle and her boy started refusing the breast and completely weaned himself. I'm not ready for that!

To get Ryan to take the bottle, I waited until 1/2 hour before his last feed was due, so he wasn't starving. I tried several different positions, including him in his highchair facing me. You can try leaving the room and giving the bottle to DH. Be patient, it was 45 minutes before Ryan drank the bottle. He was starting to get sleepy, so it became like a 'dream-feed'.

Don't worry if Jett won't take a bottle, that doesn't mean you can't leave him with someone. It sounds cruel, but he will survive missing a BF. When I went to SATC2, DH had a bottle ready for Ryan but he decided to fall asleep, so DH put him in his cot and he woke up when I got home (and I fed him then). So some bubs will hold out until Mum gets home. If Jett won't take a bottle, then you can get DH or your babysitter to try a sippy cup, spoon or syringe. But if he's eating solids, then they can always give him some food to tide him over.

I really hope that there's something here that you can try that will help you have a night off or to get DH to be more hands on