Babies born~November 1st-15th 2009 #1

Hey,

It has gone quite!! We've been so busy. Have to stay home this week. Mummy needs to catch up and get some housework done!! Plus I usuakky have Mum to help me on friday's and Saturday afternoon while DH is at cricket but they're away this week so no time off for me :)

We've gone ahead in leaps and bounds here. We're giggling, rolling front to back and back to front (but we seem to have forgotten we can do that which I'm not to upset about), reaching out and grabbing things and holding our head up constantly (we hardly even have to support it anymore). DH was just pulling her up to sitting when she was on her back. After a few goes all he had to do was touch one hand and she'd grab on with the other one. She was with my Dad yesterday and he was bouncing her on his leg then lifting her over his head, when he'd had enough he sat her on his legs and she startied lifting herself up a bit and bouncing herself. Much too knowing for 3 and a half months if you ask me!!!

Finally got myself a monitor this week. Last night was meant to be the first night in the cot, but when I pulled it out of the box the parent unit had to charge for 15 hours so back to the bassinet. Tonight's the noght. Wondering how long I last before I camp out on the nursery floor. Probably should just blow up the mattress now!!! There is a spare bed in the room next to it, maybe that will be close enough :doh:. Had a bad night last night. Up at 2, 4:30 and 5:40. Hoping it was just cause the bassinet is a bit small.......

Shae - I've stopped wrapping for daytime sleeps. Hasn't been a problem seeing as Alyssa has been sleeping with her arms out since she was tiny (no matter how tight I wrap her she won't sleep till she has them out!!). She's been getting out of her wraps anyway. Found her at the other end of the cot (was a daytime sleep) sideways the other day. The wrap was still wrapped (she'd wriggled out instead of forcing herself out) in the sleep positioner where I'd left her!! I'm going to start using a sleeping bag soon. Just don't want to have to buy a summer one and turn around soon and buy a winter one. I've got a pumpkin patch sleep suit (the legs undo and do up as a bag) with long arms so she'll probably be in that next month.

Heather - Dog's fine. bit of TLC and he got over it. He had a night at 'Nanny and Poppy's' last night to get spoilt seeing as he went down the chain a bit when Alyssa got here. Talking to mum this morning he slept on the bed all night (he only gets on ours of a morning for cuddles after DH is up but knows mum is a softy) and at one stage was between them with his head on the pillow. Should be feeling well loved when he comes home this afternoon!! Alyssa has turned into a snacker too. she can have 3 little 'snacks' each time she's up through the day. Only decent feed she seems to have is at bedtime and her 'dream' feeds of a night (only dream cause she doesn't fully wake up).

GTBBIA - Hope things are settling down. Sounds really crazy at your place. I'd probably read the book too. Probably be a best seller!!!

That's all for me!! I can hear little squeaks coming from the nursery. Who knows where my little escape artist will be this time. Hope evryone is going well!

Hi all... I have logged on a few times to comment about the quietness too. But then something has happened. Like now - Poppy's just woken up. Sigh.

I'm really not enjoying Vietnam at the moment. Whatever could go wrong is going wrong and it's just not fun anymore. Even DP is grumpy today and he's never grumpy. The nanny called this morning and said she's not coming back to Ho Chi Minh City for several weeks because she has to look after her father-in-law. I'm supposed to be having a few meetings this week about starting work the week after. I don't know how to handle this latest development.

Poppy is getting so much stronger. She rolls over in a flash and holds her head up. She's also arching her back and making the Amby hammock jump around all over the place. I can't wrap her for sleeps because it's just too hot. So I'm now having to rock her to sleep in my arms, which is really testing my patience. She just doesn't want to go to sleep and she gets so worked up.

DP has been home this week. We spent a few days at his parents house for Tet, which is kind of like our Christmas. It was nice to see everyone fuss over Poppy but at the same time I felt so lonely and isolated because I can't speak enough Vietnamese. And I'm SO SICK of people grabbing and poking and squeezing Poppy. When we go out I usually carry her on my chest in the Ergo. She goes to sleep in there, even though we both get quite hot. And people, mostly grandmas, bustle up, yelling out (in Vietnamese) "baby, baby" then "OH. THE BABY'S ASLEEP" and then they pinch her leg or her cheek. This is when I'm already feeling slightly grumpy cos I'm hot and my back is hurting.

Well, that's enough whinging for now. I'm going to rest my back while Poppy is asleep. She keeps waking up and grizzling though.

I hope everyone else is feeling perkier than I am.

:hug: Barb, I don't think I have heard you sound like this for.....I can't remember when! It souds like it is time to sit DP down and really go through what is going to best for you all, I hope you have a win soon, you sure deserve it. The Vietnamese love babies don't they! Today I was in the City and around Chinatown..they love Ben because he has red hair and blue eyes. We have occassions where they want to take photo's of him!! I am pretty sure they were tourists as we can wander through unnoticed most of the time.

Nae: It really is up to you when to stop wrapping. I don't wrap Tess at all anymore, mainly due to the heat. She sleeps in a gro-bag at night and happy to sleep anywhere during the day. Someone was telling me about and I can't remember the name of a sleeping bag that you can put their arms in, so not wrapping or swaddling and their arms are free within the sleeping bag. Will get back to you!

Emma: How did Alyssa go in the cot on her first night, and more to the point, how did you go :lol: You remind me of a friend who was a cricket widow too!

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Soooo, Tess is still not really rolling. She will roll from side to side but that's it. She get's around though...today I put her on her play gym and went back a little while to check on her and she managed to shimmy onto the floor boards :doh: I think she is using her feet and pushing herself around on her back. She likes to kick the toys under her play gym now and grabs at them.
She is still sleeping well at night, she sucks her fingers so that is keeping her sleeping well. Ben sucked his thumb and that kept him sleeping well too. We have no problems at night with going to bed, it's bath at 6pm, cuddle, feed then in bed by 6:30-7pm fuss and cry free. She seems to get that when I put her in her gro-bag it's time for nigh nighs :D In fact the only ones who wake me in this house is DS2 wanting a cuddle in the night and DH with his snoring and breathing:lol: I don't see Tess until 7:30ish the next morning, I have probably just jinxed myself!
She is poking her tongue out heaps, and has discovered she has saliva. Lots of noises and giggles and cat like noises when she pretends to tell me what she is up to :) She loves to watch the boys play around her. Sometimes under strict supervision all three of the kids are in the bath together, she loves it!
Here is a question for everyone.....so, when Oscar was a NB it was solids at 3mths, when Ben was a NB it was 4-6mths, now with Tess it's 6mths and Baby Led Solids, so no pureed food at all. What's everyone else planning or thinking of doing? I have done alot of research on BB and googled Gill Rapley: Baby-Led Weaning book. It seems to make sense?? Early days yet, it certainly got me thinking and DH a little confused!!!

She went really well in her cot. Only up once at 4:30 for a quick feed. Would have been lovely if Mummy had slept too :rolleyes:. Maybe tonight I'll be better......

Heather - the whole solids thing is confusing!!! I was going to try to hold off till 5 months or maybe a bit longer. One of the CHN's told a girl in my MG to start now if she thought her daughter wasn't getting enough milk. She's nearly 4 months old. DH thinks we shloud start letting her touch food (mashed potato) at about 4 months and see what she does with it. If we go with this, once she puts it in her mouth we'll probably start on solids. If not I'll probably start her on rice cereal at about 5 months, but only little bits. Then move on to puree till we get some teeth........ One of which is there and already causing grief.

Anyway, gotta go. Little miss is talking to herself and ready to get up. Probably at the top of the cot by now!!!

Heather - I am planning on EBF until at least 6 months, maybe longer depending on my supply. Mum was surprised when I told her that but I reinforced that that was what the WHO recommends and as long as Shae is growing and healthy I see no reason why we should do things differently.

Barb - Sounds like things are pretty tough hun, massive hugs :hug: FWIW I have to nurse Shae for every day sleep otherwise she wouldn't sleep at all, I also have to nurse her to sleep when she wakes through the night sometimes its up to an hour before I can put her down and she will stay down. I understand how frustrating it is but I remind myself "it won't last forever and one day she won't want mummy to hold her " so i make the most of it now.

Emma - Alyssa is incredible I cannot believe how much she is doing. :clap:


on a tmi note - can you get your period on the mini pill? there are no sugar tablets and this morning i had some spotting. Also is it just me or is dtd incredibly difficult and painful?? After my tearing healed I didn't want to dtd in case it hurt, but the other night we tried to but I was a bit tight and it hurt too much so we didn't ,even with *****e loads of lube...... now I am back to being to scared.

Its horrible i feel even less than wonderful about myself
Nae x

Wow Emma...teeth!! We traditionally have slow teethers and I am assuming Tess will be the same.


Thanks Nae, going on the new guidelines I will be EBF Tess to till 6mths as long as she is satisfied enough. It was the no puree food that initially got me thinking about how to start off on solids. I plan on buying the Gill Rapley anyway, as all my books start off on puree food only, and I am curious with things like breakfast foods and so on.

A little warning..I am about to go into TMI :lol:

Yes you can get your period while on the mini pill and EBF. It's the downside to using the mini pill while BF. As if you just EBF and relied on charts and so on you probably wouldn't get your period until you introduced solids.
I got my period with Ben pretty much a week or two into starting the mini pill. It also made him a little bit fussy and grumpy too for the first couple of days, not sure if it co-incided with the mini pill and my first period or not that made him that way, that's the only reason I could think of at the time.
The first time DTD after having Oscar was a little painful for the first couple of times, it got better. You may need to experiment with how far you go for a while and be a little bit mechanical and slow about it. Again a little pain after Ben and all fine after Tess, we waited till about 9wks after for Tess, that may have helped. When you had your 6wk check, did whoever you saw ask about or let you know about DTD?? My OB suggested at my 7wk check to hold off for a week or two as my cervix was a little bit dry, it seemed to work.
This may seem a little bit :redface: , but have you considered purchasing something that may help stretch the muscles a little if it doesn't improve on it's own?
It's a bit like being a virgin all over again, so take your time and make sure you talk to DH about how you are feeling.

Teeth! OMG. How's that going, Emma?

I was planning on introducing solids at six months. That's the main recommendation I've seen. I have no idea what I'm doing, though, just planning to play it by ear. Seems crazy to buy imported rice cereal here in Asia where rice is the main food.

Anyway, sorry I sounded so negative the other day. Things just got on top of me. Poppy's going through a stage where she needs 100% attention when she's awake. And there's just so much to do to get the house straight and I can't even make a start on things. I went out on my own on Saturday night and threw back a few wines and things seemed so much better after getting a break. Poppy is wriggling a lot and grabbing at things. I have very sensitive skin and all the kicking and rubbing and pinching was getting to me. As was the sore back from carrying her all the time and sleeping on a rock hard bed at the inlaws for three weeks. Three visits to the chiro have mostly sorted out the back. But DP now has a sore back and he won't go to the expensive Western chiro or to the doctor. (So dtd is off the agenda.)

Anway, I have a phone interview for another job in Singapore on Wednesday. DP doesn't want to leave right now but it's just crazy to stay here if I can earn 10 times his salary in Singapore. Things are more expensive there but I think we'd be able to save some money and he might be able to study.

Nae - would a little bit of champers and a bubble bath help dtd? We've had a terrible drought from not having any privacy (staying with relatives for five months). But it wasn't so comfortable the first time. Now DP is too scared to do it. :rolleyes: Now he's worried about hurting me and worried about getting pregnant again. Meanwhile, I'm really keen on making up for lost time.

Popping in to see how everyone is going :D

Well..Tess has disovered she has feet :clap: She likes to lift them up and look at them just like she does with her hands. She also tries to grab at her feet too. She gets very excited under her play gym. Grabbing at the toys. She also gets very excited just as she is about to go on the breast..quite funny :lol:
My Mirena seems to be starting to finally settle in :crossfingers:
The spotting I have had the last 6wks is starting to come to an end. I see my OB on Monday for my check.
I had Ben in for a day procedure on Friday for his teeth. He had to go under a general to have his four back molars stainless steel crowned. He came out of the anaesthetic quite distressed, thankfully Bernie was with me and held onto him, it was heartbreaking to watch. He is much better today thankfully!

Barb: Hope all goes well with your Singapore interview. How have you gone getting the prevanar for Poppy??? A few wines always makes things a little clearer for me on a bad day :)

Hope you are all enjoying the special cuddles we get at the moment with our little ones.
I love the snuggles Tess gives me.

Hey All

Good to read what everyone is up to! Things are super busy here, mostly pretty darn good. I'm at TAFE two nights, I make sure I do my mum's and bub's movie once a week and mother's group so mostly feel pretty well supported and have some me time. I've got three friends who are trained up enough to babysit for extended periods and I'm very grateful. I have a bit of a stockpile now of milk too.

Did have a shocker of a day attempting to do my first stand up comedy gig in a year. Everything that could go wrong did - including Gunkle turning up at the venue to car swap with me to drive E home, but me waiting at home fuming wondering where he was...end up me racing through traffic, double parking his car with bub in his pjs asleep in mine, swapping car keys and he raced back home while I raced onto stage. Gah. Made me realise how now everything is a logistics challenge, and that with my friends I really can't get mad when things go wrong - cause they aren't related to me or Elliott, they aren't married to me and so I have to just be grateful for what they can do and not get too ****y or they'll disappear. That was a bit of a scary thought!

Elliott is only sleeping 45 min naps during the day, but I've decided to live with it rather than stress. His nights are variable. Typically maybe a 12-1am feed and a 4.30 top up feed. Although sometimes I get 6.30-2 or even 3 and then a bunch of cluster feeding through until about eight! Mostly he sleeps without any protests for naps and at night - but it's all due to swaddling which we just started, as everyone else is finishing. I do everything backwards!

I'm keen on baby led weaning big time and can't wait. Lots of people starting to tell me now that I should have him on solids cause he's a big kid and they don't agree with the EBM until 6 months. I just try not to engage. And my sister is really against baby led weaning but it's because she's a paramedic who has seen kids die from choking and in her head she has linked the two things - nothing I will say will change her mind. She was also a bit like that over the idea of me BF in bed cause she'd seen a kid killed by a boob suffocating the baby, but she's calmed down on that now. I don't know how she does her job!

As for DTD...well I'm still single, but I was so paranoid about my 6 week check up I decided to DTD with my own special friend to see how much the check up might hurt LOL (TMI). I think I feel a bit different and there is def some changes (maybe scar tissue?) close to the entrance but with patience and relaxing it was all pain free as I've tried a few times to see now. My issue is really not wanting my boobs seen as a sexual thing at all, cause I feel it's hard enough BF in public as it is, without then having them "sometimes sex objects". I've not been bothered with catching up with any casual male lovers mostly cause of the boob thing, although do think have a date (or could just be friends thing) with a girl next week which will be interesting! I really am just on the fence now about gender. Ha. Ha.

BF is now going great, except I get AF every three-four weeks and it hurts again for a while. But the other day I was getting a massage and E woke up. I put him on the boob and the massage girl adjusted everything and kept going. And today I fed on the bus in peak hour. Yay me! Elliott has a few ways of telling me he is hungry - a sound/word he only uses meaning BOOB. And if that's not enough he turns to me and does the perfect latch mouth position at me as if to say, "There is only one thing missing now and it's your nipple" and if I still don't get it and happen to be laying down he will almost fling himself across the room at me with the mouth already open, roll in towards my chest and have both hands out ready to grab the boob. Subtle :clap:

Hey Tecopa. Elliot is a boy so he's unlikely to be subtle at anything really. But his polite request for a drink actually sounds very funny.

Hey Heather! Yes I'm enjoying special cuddles. Poppy has put her arms out a few times, so the go around my neck, which is such a lovely feeling.

Hope everyone else is well.

As for me -- overall things are still harder going here than I think they should be.

The lovely nanny didn't come back from her Tet holiday, so plans to go back to work next week are on hold. The dirt is also piling up in the house. A combination of the general pollution and the dog tracking dirt all through the place. I just can't seem to get on top of it all. Poppy is the number one priority, getting a job is number two. And that is very time consuming.

I think I've lined up a bit of editing work here and some lecturing at the university. I was also asked to apply for another job in Singapore - in television. Man, I've never been a tv chick and after having the baby I'm really not in any shape to be appearing on the box. But apart from the embarrassment factor it does sound interesting. The boss has indicated I could work online from Vietnam for a while, then move to Singapore, which would suit DP a lot better. And getting a Singapore wage in Vietnam for a few months would be fantastic!

Tomorrow I have to do a four-hour exam as part of the interview process for the other Singapore job. DP is taking DD to his brothers for the afternoon so I can concentrate.

As for the vaccine. Nope, apparently that particular vaccine is banned in Vietnam. I am waiting for two more emails, one from my GP in Queensland, the other from an international medical network with branches all through Asia to see friends coming from Melbourne and Singapore over the next few weeks can bring the vaccine to me. But I think I'll be heading to Bangkok soon, which is usually something I would be thrilled about. But I haven't been paid since September and I don't know when my next pay will be, so I'm just annoyed that I have to take a trip because one of the staff at the medical centre here lied to me last year when she said all the vaccines were available at their clinic. Typical Vietnamese customer service - say whatever you think the customer wants to hear.

Hope everyone else is getting special cuddles too. Poppy can sit now, if she's put in a sitting position. She can't really balance properly, but sitting on my lap, hanging onto my fingers, she does a reasonable job of sitting (and keeping up her end of whatever conversation is going on around her).

Hey GTBIA

How are things now for you in Vietnam! Hoping things are getting better. How is the Singapore job shaping up? Hope everyone else is going well!

Hi all,
Wow, how things can turn around in a week.
I think I'm on the verge of being offered not one but TWO jobs in Singapore. Two very positive phone interviews (and good result from a four-and-a-half hour exam) and promises of more formal talks involving HR people on Monday. Both jobs are offering similar salaries but one of the jobs (the one with a travel budget) is only three days a week. I nearly dropped the telephone when the guy told me that.
I interviewed four nannies this week and the last one was a winner. Although she did call at 10pm last night and say she couldn't make it to her first day of work because she had an interview at her son's school.
I had a lovely time at mother's group yesterday, eating cake and chatting and even helping calm a crying three month old (because I am SUCH an expert on three month olds now Poppy is four months old!)
Then I went into my old newspaper office, opened the door on just about the whole staff having lunch at the conference room table. They were all so happy to see me -- and then they saw the baby. My god, there was a stampede. Poppy was asleep and some of the girls were nearly bursting waiting for her to wake up. Too funny. So I told them I could work four hours a day five days a week, starting the week after next. I didn't tell them they were my back up plan if the Singapore jobs don't work out.
After phone calls and emails to Singapore and Australia and all over Vietnam I finally got a call yesterday saying two doses of the mysteriously banned pneumococcol vaccine were waiting for me at one of the expat medical centres in town. Poppy's got an appointment at 4pm to get that shot and a TB shot, the poor little thing.
Poppy is rolling over like a champion and being very vocal. I took a very funny little video of her the other day making a speech. I'm sure she's got what it takes to make it to the top in politics. First there's the mesmerizing hair. Then there's the ability to continue with an emotional speech when she's too tired to keep her head up. The noises keep pouring out of here even though she's doing a face-plant on the bed with a mouthful of doona. She still manages to keep her audience by strategically lifting her head and making eye contact, while continuing with the rhetoric "yah yah yah YAH'. She makes just as much sense as other politicians but is much more entertaining!
Hope everyone else is well. Looking forward to reading some updates soon.

Hey all,

Barb I am so glad things are turning around for you hun, you have had such a rough time I admire your strength in not breaking down.

Shae is doing well - still not doing anything like the other bubs in here or my MG but she is happy going at her own pace and I am happy to not push her.

Me on th other hand - I reached melting point the other day, completely and utterly lost the plot. Had had a rough morning with little Miss who's latest trick is screaming the house down when she is tired but efuses to sleep. After the second bout of fits and me yelling at her to shut the f up I had a visit from my MIL telling me she worried that I would hurt the baby and was going to be coming up more when she could here Shae screaming to "check everything is ok" ........ well that pushed me well and truly over the edge ..... the pressure here is so great anyway when all my "gentle parenting choices" are wrong, when my space is being invaded by SIL and my extreme lack of a relationship with hubby (who has been sleeping on the couch for 2 weeks now due to his snoring), when Shae started for her 3rd round of tired hissy fits I plonked her down in her hammock walked away and the wall accidently got in the way of my fist :redface:

Then I spent all of yesterday in tears in my MCHN office she doesn't think its pnd but said I really need to talk to someone outside of my situation. Its so isolating here and when your constantly being put down and compared too its really tough.

Miss has woken so I had better go .

Nae x

Oh Nae!!!! Big, big hugs to you.
I'm so sorry to hear it's built up to this. I know how distressed I feel when Poppy cries. She's settled right down over the last few weeks, luckily. Hopefully Shae will too.

Here's the best advice I have. Feel free to ignore it, though.
You need to look come up with a strategy for dealing with this problem. When you are feeling calm, think about what really ticks you off, whether its one particular thing or just a bunch of small things adding up. What annoying things can be changed and what are you prepared to live with to get through the next few weeks? (Because babies change all the time. It's not a permanent situation you're in, just a shocker of a time that you have to get through.)

Can you talk to your MIL/SIL? Can you tell her that the crying and lack of sleep makes her comments really upsetting, even though they're meant with the best of intentions and usually wouldn't bother you at all? Can you ask your DH to act as intermediary, asking everyone to back off while you deal with Shae's sleep issues? Or --- could you ask your MIL to help? Tell her you really need a break, so get her to come in and look after Shae for a few hours while you bugger off to the pub or coffee or just drive to the library for some quiet time? MIL might have a different baby caring technique to you but Shae should survive a few hours of it. Of course, before you leave you have to say that you expect Shae to behave beautifully while you're gone, just because there's a different person looking after her. Tell her she's not allowed to make any smug "oh, the baby went to sleep easily for me" comments when you get back.

I know how awful it is to be isolated. Just think "strategy". This is how men think (I think, when they think). You don't even have to explain to anyone that you're fed up to the back teeth with absolutely-bloody-everything. Just ask for a few favours here, a bit of help there, tell a few people to zip it for a bit -- and things should start to feel a bit better.

Oh, and google the snoring operation. One of my friends had it when he started dating his girlfriend, now wife, who is expecting their first. Snoring is a VERY serious relationship problem, in my opinion, even without a baby.

And -- more big hugs because you're probably very very tired and need lots and lots.

:hug: Nae, what Barb has said is peferct advice! Mmmmm a career change perhaps Barb??

I am only a drive away, you probably have other BB'ers close, I am more than happy to invite myself over to get myself out of the house and visit a friend :D

Never compare babies, it is just too stressing. Tess is plodding along as well. MHN wants to see her again as she wasn't happy with the weight gain. Tummy time...mmmm no thankyou says Miss Tess!

Back soon, Tess is letting me know in her own subtle way she wants up :rolleyes:

Take care Nae

x Heather

Hi Nae, any improvement?
How's everyone else?

Things continue to be quiet strange here. Poppy may be teething. :rolleyes: Just what I need. Do you think it's possible to get addicted to baby panadol after just one dose? The mother, I mean, not the baby. I'm so weak. I tried teething gel at 3pm. It seemed to do the trick, although it could have just been the taste. At 6pm she was grizzly again. At 6.15 I cracked open the bought-in-Australia panadol. At 6.20 DP came home and after half an hour or so he said "Oh, Poppy is in such a good mood tonight." At 8 she fell asleep. I LOVE the stuff. Wonder if it's bad for the baby. I've just been reading about Baltic amber beads. Anyone tried that? (Oh, she's crying again. That didn't last long.)

Poppy's cheeks are a bit red, she's drooling and pulling the funniest hillbilly grandpa faces. Her gums feel hard but I've never felt them before so I don't know if they've changed. Not hot though.

On the job front -- still waiting. Still being told things are looking good. My - ahem - screen test went well, although all I could see what an ENORMOUS fattie with a sweaty red face. Didn't help that I nearly got hit by a bus during my piece to camera.

The new nanny I posted about last week didn't turn up. I stepped up the hunt, caused a bit of a commotion on an online expat forum when I named and shamed the woman who emailed me to say "my advice is raise your child yourself" when I'd asked a question about nanny salary rates. Ms Kim Chi (I'm not joking) seems ok. I think she'll hold us over til we leave, which hopefully will be in six to eight weeks. I hope I'm not getting ahead of myself but I'm the only candidate for a job that starts next week, so it's a bit hard for them to pull someone else out of their ... er.. hat.

But I've been waking up at 3am with a pounding heart, thinking about going back to work. I've been a bit miserable stuck at home with Poppy but I'm going to miss her so much when I'm away all day. She's so tiny but so happy. I hope she won't be ruined by her Mum returning to work, poor little thing. She's almost ready to sit up. She's also tucking her knees in a bit when she's on her front. I think she's going to be crawling soon. I'm purposely ignoring the milestone advice but I think she's doing ok. She has a cheeky smile, bright curious eyes and a fantastic happy dance, where she does double can-can kicks and punches herself in her tiny tummy.

Hope everyone else is well. I'm looking forward to reading some updates. Kinda feel like I'm all alone in an echo chamber. Hello-ello--lo-lo-o

Hey All

Nae - How are things now? I also agree with Barb. Good advice! I understand how bad in laws can be -in my two long term relationship I've had two awful, awful lots of in-laws! I would get DH onto the case - he can talk to them if need be. And the snoring thing is horrid too - it makes you feel so alone probably even more so since he's not in the bed. So maybe get that checked out.

Barb- Can't wait to hear if you get the job. And I'm sure Poppy will be fine with you going to work and you'll stike a balance that works. First few times I left Elliott to go to TAFE I was quite upset but realised how good the break of a few hours was! And he really did not mind.

Things are pretty tough over here at the moment too. I'm prone to anxiety disorder when things get really bad, and it's flared up again over my job. I was just being harassed and contacted all the time to help them out and when I finally put my foot down my boss went crazy saying things like "I need to confront the reality of work" and that I was to come in and help for free!! So I've had all sorts of symptoms. The runs, cramping in my hands (from lack of blood flow when heartrate and breathing are fast and shallow and precursor to panic attacks), crying very easily, very brittle. Not sleeping. I've been bullied in the job for years but not really had an issue, but it all caught up with me now!

I have quit my job, but it hasn't solved the issue cause now my boss is auditing every bit of leave I have ever taken cause he doesn't want to pay me out. I've had to get my own industrial rep to fight for me! So caring for a baby on my own through this whole thing is pretty tough! I guess though it shows how strong I am - last time I had this disorder was during a break up with lawyers involved and I lost my house to my ex partner - and I had at least three friends on speed dial and I ended up on medication and I had a therapist and still cried in public every where. Now my friends aren't as close, I can't take the medication and haven't had time to organise any therapy but I am still pottering along.

Added to that was a blocked duct which although is clear now BF is still really painful on that side - I think the nipple was just so traumatised. So I've cancelled TAFE and stuff cause I can't express and am in too much pain with feedings to feel like going anyhow.

Third issue is that I had to do DNA testing and when that comes back I'm wondering if Bady Daddy will emerge wanting some contact. My worst fears is him going for joint custody but I'm pretty sure that won't happen since it turns out he's married with kids already and they don't know that he had an affair and he has kinda told my lawyer he is still hiding everything!!!! I really feel for his wife and kids - I don't want their family broken up cause he is an idiot who cheated and told me lies about his true situation, but I do think Elliott deserves the child support.

Elliott's sleeps are not the best - only 45 min cat naps during the day and nothing works to extend them so I've just had to learn to cope with 4 or so 45 min breaks during the 12 hours he is awake and that's it! Plus still two night feeds AND now at 5.30 for some reason he is waking and needing reassurance and I have to go to him and put my hand on his back and tell him I'm still here otherwise he starts screaming and won't settle. So that's up at least three times a night!

On the plus side, although his sleeping isn't great, he's a pretty easy going boy still, doesn't really cry or scream too much, and pretty far ahead on all milestones, maybe cause he's so big and stong - he's 8.3 kilos! He rolls every which way, sits sometimes for a bit before falling over, loves his Jolly Jumper and Activity Centre, is very vocal at the moment and trying to commando crawl everywhere and lifting hips of the ground a bit so well on the way to crawling maybe.

Wow, Tecopa, you are a CHAMPION! I have been admiring your strength as a person and your wonderful stories about Mr E but I had no idea you were doing it so tough.

Hang in there. Try to avoid contact with your rooster-head former boss and just concentrate on getting through the next few weeks. Did you learn any coping strategies from your therapist last time that you can dust off? If not, I recommend a bit of voodoo. Put all your nasty thoughts into something and then stamp the buggery out of it, throw it against the wall, burn it, call it filthy names... keep going til you're out of breath. If nothing else, it'll be something to laugh about afterwards. Maybe record the process and post it on youtube, dedicated to Sir Rooster-Head. You could even remix it into a dance tune. Wow. I'm a genius. That's sure to bring in the cash. Do you remember that song that made it to Triple J's Unearthed a few years ago...
"You **** Me To Tears" by The Tenants? Try singing that. It worked wonders for me when I had to work with people like those described in the song.

The blocked milk duct sounds like some form of torture. Who invented it, I wonder?

Big hugs for you. Some more hugs for Nae. And for anyone else who could do with one.